Kapitel 85: 4. Tears In Rain.
I was alone. Neither of them believed me. Adam didn't even look at my wounds when he had screamed. I knew or hoped I had done the right thing, but now I was doubting myself. Was I really the murderer? Had the gigs and sniper work hardened me to where I saw killing as a solution? I could feel my killer instinct, I felt disgusted with myself. I was a soulless killer. Beast. I had felt this side of me for so long and it was now obvious that it had corrupted me.
I had never seen such anger and disgust in either of their expressions, and I was shocked. Adam's punch felt still, but I had to keep my rage out. What I knew I wasn't okay. Not even close, but I didn't know where Damon was. He had left his phone and wallet again. I had no one.
In any way, I didn't really bother to even think about going to see Reddington. I didn't want to involve him in this. Because I was sick, injured, and some instinct told me to hide my weakness from Reddington. Besides, he was too important an ally to be involved in this. Magnum was human, and I was a danger to him. I felt very volatile.
I was hurting. The herbal potions that the witches had poured inside me hurt all the time. My muscles ached and I couldn't or wouldn't hold my rage all the time. My rage was running out or then my strength. As almost euphoria as what I felt when my rage was out, went away, I was flooded is self-hate; I loathed myself. I was a beast. Killer.
I didn't know where I was going or why. For the first time, I was alone and now I had to fend for myself. My wounds throbbed. I felt how wet my shirt was with festering rot and blood. I started driving, and I hadn't decided where I was going yet. It was time for me to do this alone.
I had just got my driving license because Adam thought that driving a car was safer than riding a motorbike. On the way; I stopped now and then to buy some bandages from the pharmacy and tried to dress my biggest wounds in the gas station bathroom. I ate very little, as I was hurt and nauseous. I could see from my hands that I really should eat a lot more, but I just couldn't. I was no doctor, so I had no idea what would be the best dressing. I just bought the thickest of them all, not bothering to think does they need to be sterile.
I felt hot from time to time, meaning my metabolism was elevated, burning calories even more. But that was something I could not do yet anything about it. Time would help. I would get better.
I stopped in Cincinnati, Nashville, Atlanta, and Tallahassee. Eventually, I made it all the way to Florida. I'd never been there for fun. I'd thrown a couple of gigs but had been nowhere else but Tampa doing a couple of sniper gigs.
I had money saved up from killing people, and even here I actually had safety deposit boxes I could empty if I needed to. I would have to manage on my own and I didn't want to live in a hotel now. I needed an almost fresh start. I could do this.
Somehow, I wanted to start my life independently now, and I thought about buying a house. I looked around the state a little bit at first and I thought maybe Hollywood, this wasn't the Hollywood with the sign, but this place was called Hollywood. I thought about that place for fun, but I ended up driving all the way to Key West.
I had been touring Key West and Florida for three weeks now and the symptoms had not gone away at all. My condition had gotten no better, but worse. The herbs caused constant nausea, so I didn't always eat very much. I drank, and then I had headaches and tiredness, but I didn't want to sleep because I knew I couldn't sleep without having nightmares.
I was sometimes hot and sometimes freezing, meaning my metabolism was all over the place. My mind was a mess. I saw myself as the soulless killer. I remembered how it felt to take a life. The pleasure, without my humanity. What was left of my humanity and how long or how little it would take any more for me to start to feel again when the last of the vestiges of my humanity would die off?
My wounds wouldn't close and even now I knew I was going to have to dress them again soon. Apparently, some herb was preventing the healing, and I had a bit of a cold all the time. I hoped it was just exhaustion, not infection. My mood was all over the place. I might have been crying spouts and soon after that something would ignite my rage, but it won't hold long as I was weak.
I stayed in hotels, not fancy ones but quite modest ones. I was now saving my money and usually spent my days wandering around, looking in shop windows, and mostly rewinding the words of Adam and Samuel in my head. Somehow, I knew they had been right.
I was a killer. A soulless killer and because I had been displaying rage, I had felt nothing when I had murdered innocents. My inner killer had burst open, and I had just seen my chance to take a life. I was walking down the streets of Key West and saw the real estate company as I passed by.
Now might be a good time to buy that house because Adam wanted nothing to do with the killer. I just tried to remember the faces of each victim so I wouldn't forget what I had done. I tried to keep the last shreds of my humanity in some way.
I just went to look at the house in the window and wasn't paying attention to my surroundings, when suddenly arms wrapped around me and a voice next to my ear whispered, "Are you going to be so naughty, my future wife? Will you buy a house without your future husband?"
I was almost lashing out. But then I smelled the passionfruit, felt Damon's hot firm body behind me, and sighed with relief. I remembered our good times.
I fell into his arms for a moment and enjoyed it because at least now I had someone for a moment. Damon noticed this and turned me towards him, accidentally touching one of the deep puncture wounds that hadn't closed yet.
I hissed in pain. There were several wounds, and I had tried everything from honey to so many things, but nothing worked. They were deep, smelly, oozing blood and rot and god knows what. There were few wounds closed. Damon was holding me tightly now, watching me quite close. I shook in his arms. I had a bout of coldness again. Hoping it would not be an infection.
Damon furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me hard.
He said in a voice that couldn't stand any argument, "What the hell baby is wrong with you? You're pale, skinny, shaky and I could have sworn that wrapping my arms around you was a great relief. You are a mess. Start telling me. What are you doing here by yourself?"
I leaned against Damon. I was so tired and I knew he was probably going to accuse me of murder too, which I was actually guilty of. I knew nothing. I didn't really know how to determine when someone could be saved or not. Now I was more or less convinced that Adam was absolutely right.
But I knew I was a murderer, my rage made me a murderer, and I tried to remember if at any point I had enjoyed getting everyone killed. Murdered. Had I just used it as an excuse that they were getting out as I saw their lives snuffed out? Damon would tell me the same thing and he might even break off the engagement. The ring was still on my finger, just a little looser.
I said, "Please, just give me a moment to enjoy this while I'm against you. Please. Because when I tell you, you'll know what a murderer I am, and you'll reject me like Adam and Samuel. I'll eventually recover, believe me. That I know I did wrong. I am trying to keep my humanity. My killer side has corrupted me. I let my rage control me, my killer side, my darkness take over and I won't forget a single face. I'll keep them in my mind. And I won't blame you if you want to break off the engagement when you find out."
Damon gave me a steady look and told me to sit in his car.
He got into the driver's seat, turned to me, and said, "Baby, I don't want to break off the engagement. I've arranged our vampire weddings and gotten permission from my elders. I've said over and over I'm old. Now start telling me, you can't surprise me, and well, start telling me and we'll see and I won't mince my words. I'll give my opinion quite frankly then.."
I sighed for a moment, closed my eyes, and collected myself. " About five weeks ago, just over five weeks ago, we were driving back to Chicago and Adam and Samuel were driving by themselves. Ben, one of Adam's pack, had been missing for a while and I heard them talking about how the connection to Ben was false, but he was alive somehow. I drove all the way myself, in my Lexus."
My voice was tired, and I knew I had not been in terrible shape for too long. I would heal someday. I had time; I was immortal, unkillable. This was what I deserved.
"Then in Chicago, I didn't sleep when I had nightmares and Adam wouldn't come to sleep and I didn't insist on him. A couple of days later, I went to the store and was kidnapped by black witches. I woke up in a silver cage, in chains, and the witches were torturing 25 werewolves, almost dead, or in terrible shape. Then Ben Shaw came. They had killed him in a black ritual and had his heart ripped out of his chest. They linked him to the witches, and he felt his soul disintegrating."
Damon grumbled briefly and said, " Go on. "
I sighed and said, " The witches cut me with silver. They made me drink potions and herbal concoctions. They cut me with a silver knife and stuffed the wound with herbs. Those things haven't really healed yet. Then my rage showed and nothing felt and the witches continued. They killed a couple of victims and made Ben drag the carcasses into the forest. Ben wanted that when I got free, I'd let him go. He said he couldn't live, and I believed him. He did not want Adam to see him. Then I got loose when my rage exploded, my darkness and all the shit came out and I got the cage open, broke Ben's neck, and cut off his head. Then I went and killed all 25 other werewolves."
I swallowed as I remembered my murders. I remember how emotionless I had been, not really feeling anything. But my rage, my inner beast.
"The witches had collected pain crystals from the victims, and I wasn't really the prey. I changed shape, went upstairs, and killed all 12 witches by biting their necks off quickly and cleanly. Then I changed back to human and found a petrol can outside, burned the whole house down, took the witch's car, and drove to the house."
Damon was quiet and said, " Well, what are you doing here all alone?"
I continued, "When I told Adam and also that Bran had tipped off the witches where I was. Bran had made a deal with witches that he supplied victims for them and witches would not attack his wolves. Adam didn't believe me because Bran had been looking for me all those weeks. Adam yelled at me. He hit me and dragged me out. He was right. I am a murderer, and I didn't know if I could have saved everyone. Samuel was angry too and said if the medical facilities kidnapped me, he wouldn't care. I left three weeks ago to go driving and ended up here. I have money to buy a house. As you can see, I'm a killer, a soulless killing machine who slaughtered 26 innocents just because they were hurt. I was their prisoner for two weeks. I have felt this darkness inside for so long and I felt nothing when I killed them, my inner killer..."
Damon's expression said it all. I saw his eyes gleam and his mouth tighten as he squeezed harder on the car's steering wheel. His expression was hard and ruthless, and I knew I was hearing the unrelenting truth. He would tell me to go fuck out here.
Damon looked at me for a moment, then his expression softened as he noticed me getting ready to preach and said: "Baby, I'm not mad at you. Listen, listen for a minute. I've been around witches and black witches especially. What they did to Ben cannot really be undone and the victim cannot live with it because he has no will of his own, period. Indeed, it destroys the soul of the victim."
He paused, looking at me, trying to make me calm down.
"You did exactly right. Listen, baby. You did exactly right. You felt nothing because you were a mess. Your inner darkness. It is part of you and I help you. I will fix you. Now we go to one house. It's my house here in Key West. I'm gonna get you fixed up and help you. And I can see very well, Mimi, because you are definitely not all right. Then we'll go to the registry office and get married, and then we'll fly to Romania for our vampire wedding. That's right, everything's all set now. I just have to announce that we're coming. Baby, our vampire weddings are happening... If even after that Adam doesn't want to talk to you or have anything to do with you, then remember you have me. We have each other. Always and forever. And Mimi, forever, is a very long time. Remember that. "
Damon started the car, and I pulled on my seatbelt. The car started moving silently, the electric car that it was. It glided along the streets, and Damon was a confident driver. The car was like an extension of his mind. We drove for 45 minutes until we reached the driveway of a large estate. I looked at the large white building.
Columns adorned the porch, plastered and reflecting the sunlight. It had at least five floors and was considerably larger than, say, a house in Chicago. My mouth was about to open in amazement, wondering how rich Damon was.
Damon got out of the car and came to my side. I had just gotten my seat belt off when he was already lifting me into his arms. I yelped in pain again. I was sore all over, as these wounds were not really healed at all.
Damon put me down and said:" Can you walk? I don't want to hurt you when I don't know about your injuries. This was supposed to be your wedding present, but you're getting it now, baby. I just bought this the other day."
I didn't know what to say. I was trying to get my mind working. There were so many emotions in my mind. From relief to exhaustion.
I said, " Yeah I can walk. I've been walking for three weeks. Oh, this is a great place. This is just lovely."
He walked inside of the house, and I followed him. I was so freaking tired and not sure yet was this dream or real.
I walked in. I marveled and admired the big lobby and the magnificent staircase, the perfect ceilings. Everything. The mansion was completely decorated and the only word that came to my mind was perfect. Damon led me to one of the downstairs rooms, looking at me with concern and furrowing his brows as I slipped. I was dizzy, and he came, wrapping his arm around me and helping me to walk. He directed me to a bed nearby and made me sit on it.
He said, "Now, sit there and I will go you over and make a plan. I need to see in what damn shape you are. I will get you back to health, no doubt about it. I will teach you a few things about vampires as well. What it is normal to feel like a vampire?"
He felt my pulse, took my temperature, looked at me very carefully, and said,
"I haven't done a medbay yet. I wasn't prepared, but first I'll have a good look at you. Then I'll get the supplies. I have a pretty excellent selection here, but I haven't bought the equipment. Strip all off. Don't worry, I'm in doctor mode now. I can already see that you are too warm. You have aches and pains, and sores, herb poisoning and malnutrition, but I'll inspect you in a moment, but for now, all clothes are off. And don't worry about your hotel room or your things, I'll take care of them. And your car."
I said, "According to the witches, Bran had told them how sensitive I was and how strict my diet was, so he was giving them information about how to hurt me."
Damon said nothing. I could feel his tuning. He was no fan of Bran's, not at all. Damon had this acute problem with nudity these days. He couldn't keep his hands off me. He said I was seducing him with my body alone. But if he's in the doctor's mode, so be it. I stood up, and I undressed slowly, because the bandages I had put on my wounds always stuck to them, and they tore a little when I moved. I took off my clothes one by one.
I had loose black velvet pants, panties, a tee shirt, and a cotton long-sleeve knit shirt, pink and it was also oversized, hanging halfway down my thigh. After I had gotten my pants and top shirt off, and was trying to get the tee shirt off my head, Damon came over to me and started helping the shirt over my head gently while looking me over.
He didn't touch the bandages yet. I had several bandages on my body and I had wrapped the bandages all around my waist because I had wounds on my back too. I had several bandages on my legs and I hadn't always had them all on.
My clothes were dirty, and he had gotten somewhere trash bag where he put my clothes straight on.
He felt me through and didn't really even press on the bandages, but he must have felt the rot and blood in my bandages. He had his gloves on already. He kept his expression neutral. Trying to be clinical.
He said, "Well, let's sit on the bed."
I went and sat down gently.
He came in front of me, squatted down, and said: "Those bandages hurt, they're stuck and even though I know you can bear me to take them off straight away, I will not do that now."
He continued patiently explaining to me.
"What I'm going to do is get some medicine. Painkillers and a sedative and you're so exhausted, yes, it'll probably put you to sleep, but that's okay because those wounds need a bit more care now. Then we need to figure out how to get those herbs out of your system. Then you need a strong antibiotic, but my teeth will probably do it."
He frowned and thought some more before continuing his explanation.
"You've got a fever, not crazy yet, but still. The herbs are one problem because they're bad for everything. How to get them out is probably a bit more special. Now vomiting won't help because they're not in your stomach anymore, but I'll probably eat you empty many times at first, and it's not fun, but then you'll eat me and see if I can turn you so that in this blood drinking human blood cleanses, there's no food. In that case, I, or someone else in the pack, would be your blood source when you need it. It has been my plan, actually."
He sighed and went on. As usual, he told me everything carefully so that I would understand and not panic.
"The herbs are mainly in your tissues, not your blood, but what I'm trying to do is make human blood your purification cure, and then with that, we get the herbs out, but it's no fun. This will increase your blood lust and may strengthen Mirella and your vampire side, your vampire nature."
He continued after a slight pause when he gathered his thoughts.
"Never mind what Bran has been shouting about Mirella and how your vampire side is good to be non-existent. It's not okay to be non-existent because it's part of you. I help with the vampire stuff, and my blood is strong enough to keep you sated enough. But now, missy, I'm gonna go get some supplies, and we'll tend to those wounds first. I'll have to cut them up quite a bit, but I'll see if I can heal them with my blood. There's nothing to worry about now. Wait there and don't worry about a thing. Dr. Damon is in the house and he'll fix you up."
Okay, let's wait then because I knew that when Damon was really in doctor mode, he was so ruthless that he would treat me exactly as he saw fit and might even break my neck if I started arguing back.
I was so tired. The herbs seemed stronger than I ever thought they would be and had an effect. I had always thought that they too would disappear from the body on their own, but apparently not. How the hell were they on all the time and I felt like I was operating at half power and then less? The whole fucking thing had been so stressful, and I hadn't quite stopped blaming myself yet. I could not let go of the notion of being a killer and all of these feelings and sensations that I had felt for quite some time now.
After 20 or 30 minutes, Damon came in with a big sports bag, which he put on the end of the bed and started digging out many supplies like bandages, medicines, syringes, needles, and drip bags. I was tired and exhausted, but seeing all this, my panic flared up again and I prepared to escape. Now I didn't want those at all.
Damon noticed this and, as if in passing, jabbed an injection into my upper arm and said, "Now I don't recommend you go anywhere, because you won't get far. Sorry for the surprise attack. I was supposed to give it to you first, but I stayed to look at these supplies. Well, go ahead and lie down; it will work soon. It's a cocktail of dental solutions to put you gently to sleep. It has two dentifrices, so you know what my teeth do. They help you. The drip bags are antibiotic and I'll drip it on you when I cut and clean your wounds. It'll be absorbed by the time I drain you. I've got a very good appetite already developed. You will be my meal."
Anyway, I sat in my seat and looked at what Damon had in the bag. He took surgical instruments, drapes, and some dressings. He was always very meticulous about cleanliness and I had seen the brief flicker of annoyance. As he had seen my bandages. My eyes felt tired, and I was even more exhausted. Soon I noticed Damon was already helping me lie down on the bed and pulling the covers over me.
He stroked my hair long enough for me to fall asleep. I was in a haze and at one point; I felt like I was on something hard. I moved as I always felt something. It wasn't pain per se; it was a sensation. Then I had another injection in my arm and soon I felt nothing at all.
When Mimi fell asleep or dozed off, Damon had the table set up to be a temporary operating table. He put a tray on it and went and removed all the bandages from Mimi. None of these had been sterile in the first place, and Damon was planning to teach wound care 101 at some point to Mimi. He wiped most of the rot off and then he carried Mimi to the table and started cleaning up the many wounds.
She was in rough shape, full of bruises as some herbs affected her blood coagulation. She was almost skeletal, tired as fuck. He hoped that his blood would help her enough. He was furious about the whole thing and he knew Bran was not to be trusted and it was not wise to tell him about what could weaken Mimi.
First, he cannulated Mimi and put the antibiotic drip in. His teeth had done it as soon as he had smelled Mimi's wounds and it would work. As he sliced around the largest and deepest wound, Mimi stirred and made a sound. Damon took a loaded syringe and inserted the needle into Mimi's vein, and Mimi went limp. He wanted to keep her pretty much out cold. She needed rest.
The wounds were very deep and several extended deep into Mimi's organs. Damon dictated as he clinically dissected all his findings. He was going to put them in Mimi's records so that Samuel and Adam could see what condition Mimi had been in.
Damon was furious at the two of them. It wasn't Mimi's fault. Adam knew it, and Samuel knew it. Damon had also heard what had happened to Mercy's friend, Stefan Ufficello, and Damon also knew that Adam had been there, and had seen the situation. And now to attack Mimi's face and hit her. Punch her too.
Damon cut for six hours. He kept draining his own blood until Mimi's insides healed, and then her skin healed. He had to use a lot of his blood, but that was exactly what was needed. She had been in terrible shape and was still very skinny. He was having a bloodlust, and that was just fine. Soon there would be a next step in this thing.
Once Mimi was okay, Damon carried her to bed, packed his bags, and cleaned up the trash. This would be fun. He let his vampire side come out. Then he stripped off his upper body and got on top of Mimi, sank his teeth right into her carotid artery, and drank greedily until her heart stopped, and he waited for her to start up again.
Mimi was the perfect victim. He could experience repeatedly the feeling of the victim weakening and weakening and then the heart stopping.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein