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2.58% Critical Hit: The World’s Clumsiest Sword Saint / Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - A Life… Statscreen?

Kapitel 3: Chapter 3 - A Life… Statscreen?

It felt as if I had just closed my eyes, but the feeling of my body returns to me all at once, causing it to jolt slightly before returning to sitting against the tree.

Wait. What?

When did I close my eyes? And since when was I sitting up against a tree? Last I remember, I was laying on the cold street, my body in shambles after—

I shudder at the thought. That was unsettling too. Being returned to my senses so abruptly makes my head spin rapidly, enough so that I still haven't opened my eyes. I don't think I'm ready yet.

After several minutes, I slowly peel my eyelids apart to observe my surroundings. The fringes of white hair blowing at the top of my vision in a gentle breeze wave slightly, as if welcoming me after the world had just said goodbye. I wasn't sure if I was more confused about the new color and style of my hair or my surroundings.

It was a stark contrast to Seattle. Instead of a bleary sky and a forest of skyscrapers, I was now looking at the beautiful scenery of a real forest, with a bright blue and purple sky. My breath catches in my throat; It was something I had never seen in person before.
"Am I… dead?"

Wondering aloud, I brace against the tree to stand up, but I barely get my feet placed on the ground before I yank my hand off, hissing between my teeth. The trunk was hot. "What the…"

The remains of the tree is black and smoking, a deep streak cutting through it and leading down to where I had been sitting. To say every piece of it looked fried is an understatement. Black bark, and the meat of the trunk underneath wasn't much better off. The branches were barren as they rise towards the multicolored sky, as if it was the dead of winter. As I take in the scene, my eyes drift further upwards to the wisps of dark clouds that were still dispersing from what looked like had been a swirling storm cloud… that had gathered right above my head in the middle of a clear day.

My thoughts are racing, but before I can even begin to process any of this information, even more pops up in front of my face, accompanied by a small 'ding!'

[Health: %{#^ / %{#+]

The message soon fades after a few seconds, but I stare where it had just been for several seconds.
That meant—

"I was reincarnated anyway?"

My mind slowly starts to spin again, but I shake it out of my head quickly. "If that's the case, does that message mean I have a system?"

I knew I sounded crazy talking out loud to myself, but no one was around, so I utilize this fact to help organize my own thoughts.

If I had a system, and I was reincarnated into some different land, then I should just need to say something like 'Status' to open a screen with my stats.

However, as soon as the image of what I was thinking of popped in my head, another 'ding!' sounds within my head, and a tranparent book materializes and opens.

This… unfortunately, wasn't a system. At least from what I could tell.


[Name: =*+#} <~**£€ ]
[Age: 17]
[Lv: ¥']
[Health: %{#^ / %{#+ ]
[Mana: %*+& / %*+& ]
[Stamina: %{#+ / %{#+ ]

STR: $) MAG: ;&
AGI: !, DEX: :"
VIT: -} INT: ^*

ACC: !~
DEF: >%
POW: ^#


"Uh… The fuck…"

I stare at the unintelligible text in front of me. It was all jumbled up nonsense, almost as if several letters and numbers were stacked on top of one another to form a single number. "Is this a different language or something?"

With a sudden shudder of the page in front of me, a smaller screen opens over it.


[* The Life Statbook has detected a soul.
Due to the unexpected late reincarnation, the Life Statbook will receive an 'update' from the soul's original world in order to aid in the process of adaptation. *]


One word pops out from all the others. Reincarnation. I really had done it. Christy would lose her mind if she knew this had happened to me. I try to ignore the 'unexpected' and 'late' bits; that seems like a bad omen, almost. My thoughts are soon drowned out, however, by more messages appearing.

[*Update Completed. Life Statbook is updated to Life Statscreen, in order to help the user adjust.*]
[*Soul Stats have been adjusted.*]
[*Skills have been adjusted.*]
[*Level has been reset.*]
[*Name will be adjusted. Soul will be renamed based on past life.*]

"What, so I'll still be named something lame like Luke?" I mumble, raising my finger to swipe each message away. However, the first message immediately swipes to my left the instant I raise my hand up. It had done that when I opened the original screen, too…

In order to test my theory, I think about swiping out all the messages at once, and I'm not very surprised when they immediately move to the left side of my peripheral vision.

"Maybe it's something to do with the 'update' it was talking about?" I think aloud, reaching up to swipe with my hand this time. As I didn't think of moving it until I touched the air where it was, it didn't move until I swipe my finger up, pushing the message out of my view.

Another 'ding!' sounds in my head. That noise was getting annoying. 'I wish it'd turn off.'

[*User silenced the Life Statscreen, except for emergencies.*]


"Neat," I blurt out, before focusing on the initial notification.

[* Open Life Statscreen?
Y/N *]

By thinking yes, the two messages blip away, revealing the screen from before. As soon as I see the first line, I finally understand what the Statscreen had meant by 'past life' and let out a long groan. "Fuuuuuck. Really?"

[Name: Klum]
[Age: 17]
[Lv: 1]
[Health: 25]
[Mana: 24]
[Stamina: 25]

STR: 5 MAG: 2
AGI: 5 DEX: 1
VIT: 3 INT: 4

ACC: 3
DEF: 4
POW: 3

Skills: Klum's Reincarnation (Unfound), Critical Eye (Rare)

[Tutorial?]
Y/N

After getting over the embarrassing name, and trying to think about changing it to something else — to which the Statscreen pops up saying [*Name is bound to user's Soul*] — I check over my stats with a small frown. I know the general gist of the stats. STR for strength, INT for intelligence, et cetera, but… what was an 'Unfound' skill?

Pondering for only a second, I mentally select 'Y' at the bottom of the Statscreen. Another message pops up, looking very uncharacteristic from the previous ones.

[*Welcome to the world of Puria! This tutorial will give you the basics of this world, starting with your Life Statb&@' — Statscreen! To ask the tutorial a question, preface mental or auditoral questions with 'Tutorial, who/what/why/etc.!*]

My jaw sits agape at the almost bubbly personality oozing from one message. Before I can even respond, it is gone, replaced by the previous screen. Now, it almost looks annotated, allowing me to scroll through it and giving a detailed description for each Stat, as well as the two Skills. I skim over the first part of the screen, as nothing had changed, and read the descriptions for each stat.


STR[Strength]: Determines level of Atk Dmg (Physical) [Attack Damage], Carry Weight, and overall strength.
[5 Atk Dmg]

MAG[Magic]: Determines Mana Pool and Recovery.
[1 Mana/minute]

AGI[Agility]: Determines Ev Lv [Evasion Level], Atk Spe [Attack Speed], Mental Speed, and overall speed.
[15 mph]

DEX[Dexterity]: Determines flexibility, coordination, and adaptability to adverse effects.
[0%]

VIT[Vitality]: Determines Health, Stamina, Mental, Magical and Physical Endurance, and overall health of the body.
[0.06%]

INT[Instinct]: Determines SSL (Sixth Sense Level) and Overall Power for Magical and Active/Passive Skills.
(Increase: Determined by Skill)

I hadn't even finished reading the stats, but I was absolutely astonished by the level of info. It's just a dropdown menu away now, and the tutorial informs me I can open the descriptions whenever I need.

INT wasn't for intelligence, but Instinct? and MAG was more what the intelligence stat was for.
The one that caught my eye the most, however, was DEX.

There was only one thing I cared about with that stat.

Coordination.

It was only at one now, which seems quite accurate for the me of my past life, but…

Well, to put it bluntly, he was dead.

Not only had I gotten another chance at life, I'd gotten another chance to really live. I decide right then and there, no matter what, that I needed to raise my DEX.


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