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"You want me to what?"
"'THE TIMELINE MUST BE PRESERVED'" Time Baby thundered.
I was most surprised when Time Baby actually summoned me. I had no idea what he wanted from me. After a few times where I introduced simple technology to some tribes and got an earful from him about interfering with the timeline (it was a spear! Literally a sharp rock on a stick! It's not like I invented the wheel! Again!) I had fallen back to just observing people.
Then out of nowhere the Time Baka himself calls me up and says he needs me to interfere in something. Apparently there was a tribe of creatures growing more technologically advanced than their neighbors can keep up with and unless something is done about it, they would wipe out the other tribes into extinction.
"So let me get this straight. You need me to find out who's giving that tribe the know-how to make stuff they're not supposed to...and dispose of them?"
"'THE TIMELINE MUST BE PRESERVED!"'
"You said that already! I get it. You have a hard on for your damn timeline." He just wants me to do his fucking dirty work! The nerve!
"If you want someone dead, go do it yourself!"
"THIS IS YOUR DUTY!"
"Fuck my duty!"
"IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS, IT WILL CAUSE TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES TO ALL OF HISTORY!"
"Yeah no. I'm just going to leave now." I turn to leave and find that I can't move. Time Baby's forehead mark was glowing and I was temporally frozen.
"SO YOU WILL SIT BACK AND ALLOW THE EXTINCTION OF HUNDREDS OF RACES? THIER DEATHS WILL BE ON YOUR HANDS BECAUSE YOU CHOSE NOT TO ACT!"
"Don't you fucking put this on ME!"
The argument went on for a while. I finally agreed to do it in exchange for a Deal from Time Baby. I didn't know what to ask for at the moment (Ax had explained long ago that bringing back the long dead was never a good idea for any reason, and after much painful soul searching, I agreed, I'm sorry Will, I'm sorry Purple. I'm sorry everyone.) so Time Baby just owes me a 'Favor' at some point. He was very upset but if he wants me to kill someone I won't do it for free.
I was already dirtying my hands deliberately. What next? I know that agreeing to do things like this will only lead to an escalation of tasks.
But what choice did I have?
---
I cannot believe this is happening right now.
I fume as the guards lead me roughly through the halls. Seriously, I get no respect. Don't these people know who I am?! I'm Bill freaking Cipher! One of the three pillars of creation.
I'm sure I could ask myself how this happened. Might as well go over this and figure out how the fuck I got into this situation. All I did was do what Time Baby asked! I went to the tribe, found the brilliant inventor that was giving his people better technology than was usual for the time period. I found the man and scanned his brain, all his knowledge and memories known to me in just a few short hours. I had a job to do, find out where he got this ahead-of-its-time knowledge from.
Imagine my surprise when I realized he wasn't cheating. The man was brilliant. A true genius who figured out how to do this all on his own. I inform Time Baby that there was no time anomaly here.
Of course the fatass didn't care. The technology of that tribe was progressing faster than Time Baby wanted it to be and it must be fixed. I was shocked at his arrogance. Why did I have to kill true innovation?!
Regardless of my feelings on the matter I had a Deal to fulfill. It seemed like such a waste though. I took all of that man's knowledge into myself so it wouldn't be gone forever (it's probably a good thing that I can now store an infinite amount of knowledge with perfect memory recall) and then I plagued his dreams with nightmares until it drove him mad from sleep deprivation and he threw himself off a tower.
I felt dirty.
Without that man's contributions, the tribe floundered and ultimately were destroyed by an invading force from another country.
Apparently this was bad because it wasn't supposed to happen. Next thing I know, the fucking Time Police show up to cuff me and drag me off. I could have vaporized them and escaped, but I didn't. I was very proud of my restraint. So here I am. Arrested for doing what Time Baby demanded for me to do. Un-FUCKIN-fair!
"Seriously? You're the one who told me to kill him."
"YOU ALTERED FATE OFF IT'S COURSE!"
"Well what did you THINK was gonna happen if I interfered?!" I scream.
"THERE WERE BETTER WAYS THAT WOULDN'T HAVE DIVERTED FATE'S PATH!" He bellows.
"News flash asshole! I can't FUCKING see the future!"
We were both flushed with anger and screaming at each other. The guards have long since left after the energy that constantly emits from me ignited the air around me into more streams of plasma. I was just...so angry that Time Baby was going to blame ME for doing what he said. I already felt sick from killing that guy. It's such a waste. He was brilliant. He could have done so much good with that brain.
"YOU RAISE A FAIR POINT. YOU CANNOT SEE THE PATHS OF FATE."
"Well duh! Are you finally underst-"
I'm interrupted by Time Baby blasting me with his head marking. I scream in pain as the energy courses through me. Scenes flash before me. It was like opening my 'Eye' but different. My 'Eye' sees what was and is. But the things I am seeing now are possibilities of what will be.
A multitude of future paths are laid out before me. Different choices and outcomes. The scenes flash and flash and I'm crying in pain as I'm overwhelmed. There's too much information for me to process, even with my new physiology. I'm sobbing as I fall to the ground, my eye still flashing through images at lightning speed.
"NOW YOU CAN SEE AS I DO. NOW YOU CAN MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES!"
My only response is a pained sobbing.
---
"Uuuuuwuuuu..."
-...Are you alright?-
"....noooo...."
I moan pitifully as I lay on Ax's head. The images are still flashing, slower now, Ax doesn't really do much so there's less divergence in his Timeline. It's not much but it helps.
"Why did he do that to meeeeee...." I moan.
-Time Baby doesn't always think before he does something.-
"Uuugh...why is HE in charge of Time if he's such a prick?"
-The Time Giants are gone now. He is all that's left. Their duties have fallen on him. He is not ready for it, but needs must and he is all we have.-
"This suuuuucks..." I whine.
-You'll get the hang of it.-
"Uuugh...."
---
Having infinite time ahead of you is a daunting thing. The good part is it meant I had YEARS to figure out how to turn my Future Sight on and off. I generally keep it off. Too much of a headache. How long do I have before the Earth forms? I pop into the 3rd dimension for a quick check. Nope. Still a work in progress.
I once watched a planet form. Years and years would go by as I just stared blankly at the consolidating space dust. It was nice to just stop thinking for a bit and watch particles click together. Only at first. I got bored eventually.
So I decided to learn to dance.
What? I'm bored as shit. I have so much time that I don't even know what to do with it. Why not try learning a skill?
I spent several centuries just learning different forms of dance. With the huge variety of alien races out there, I was never short on people and cultures I could copy from. This generally consisted of watching them while invisible and trying to mimic what they do.
I can scan minds to learn things within a few hours. But things like dance, music and how to play an instrument require actual work and practice to get good at it. I relished in the challenge. It was so satisfying to learn something myself.
I make it a habit to just scan anyone I see. Filter through their thoughts for any delicious knowledge of things I don't know yet. I feed off it. Knowledge is power and as a being of pure energy, I AM power. The more I know, the more powerful I get. My human curiosity only fueled my hunger to learn more.
I don't need to eat to sustain myself, knowledge satiates any physical need I have for sustenance. But there's an itch inside me. A gnawing hunger that I don't seem to be able to satisfy.
Time Baby set me on a few more 'jobs' and I feel sick doing them. He tells me it is for the greater good. I've seen the possible futures, sure the death of a few people here and there would prevent a larger future tragedy...but it still felt wrong.
I continued my Deals with Time Baby. Every job I do earns me a Favor that he owes me down the line. Each one. I'm keeping count. He threw the biggest tantrum and I had to push down my own fit to think back as far as I could to see how Zyun-Jan would have handled a raging toddler. I wasn't the best at handling children but I DID use to babysit. Jingling keys worked better than I expected.
The problem here is that explaining the concept of Fairness is all but impossible to a toddler. Children are selfish creatures who haven't yet learned empathy. I can't get Time Baby to realize that being unfair to me is wrong. He's just upset that I'm being 'unfair' to HIM with no regard for MY feelings. I fucking hate babies.
I tried to be patient. I really did. But our argument quickly devolved and I set the courtroom on fire. It burned beautifully. I did manage to get my Deal so its a victory for me. Sure it involved me creating a giant lollipop to bribe him with but I'll take what victories I can get.
---
Have you ever gotten so MAD that you just…had to smash something? Normally I would throw my pencil or flip a table if things got really bad. Well I might have forgotten about the whole…being of pure energy thing…
Time Baby and I were having one of our many arguments. I picked up a table and threw it, or at least that was what I was trying to do. I stuck my hand towards the table and a concentrated pulse of thermal energy shot out instead. The table, along with the wall, several hallways and many unfortunate Time Police were vaporized. No ashes, no remains, their molecules torn apart from the heat in an instant. It was terrifying.
"Oh shit! Oh shit! I didn't mean to!" I fretted anxiously over the NOT EVEN smoking because there was NOTHING LEFT to produce smoke, remains of the hallway. "I'm so, SO sorry!"
Time Baby sent me to the Infinetentiary for that. As they flew me out to the satellite prison I could see the crumbling hole in the planet that my accidental attack caused. I winced and just apologized again. The guards assigned to me were shaking and pointing their guns at me the whole time.
"I really didn't mean to do it." I told them, my arms and legs dangling sadly. They didn't believe me. They put me in a simple room with a single bed, chair and toilet. I could easily escape prison just by teleporting but I stayed as some twisted way to try and make myself feel less guilty. I deserve to be punished. I deserve to suffer. I'm a terrible person. Everything would be better if I wasn't here. Everything would be better if I was dead. I'll never amount to anything. My existence only hurts people. I don't deserve to be happy. Everyone would be so much happier if I was dead.
The guards panicked when I began beating myself with the chair. Smashing it down onto my bricks over and over again as I screamed. They couldn't sedate me, and they couldn't stop me, so they just stood guard around my cell until the chair broke and I slumped over on the ground crying. They kept me in the padded solitary room. That didn't stop me from finding ways to hurt myself. Everyone was convinced I was violent and crazy, and they're not wrong. I took every opportunity I got to 'punish' myself. Anything to make this uncomfortable feeling inside me go away. I was itching and burning inside and if I could just…break myself open I would feel better. I knew I would. I knew I would deserve however much that hurt. I managed to crack my bricks a few times. My blood seeped black and oily along the walls and ground. There was a twisted sort of relief when I laid there, throbbing in pain and watching that blood spread around the room.
The guards had no idea what to do with me.
I stayed in the Infinetentiary for a few decades before I was let out because Time Baby had another job for me. He'd already forgotten why I was imprisoned in the first place. It wasn't important to him.
I had a record now. The Federation has me listed under 'Extremely dangerous, capable of planet-wide destruction and unstable' which wasn't really helping my reputation at all. How long can I keep this up? I've cried so many times by now I'm surprised I have tears left. I'm also grateful I still have tears to shed. Feeling sad and guilty sucked, but I'd rather have this pain than feel nothing at all.
As I mentally break another innocent soul whose only crime was upsetting Time Baby's strict schedule, I feel my tears streaming down and devolved into hysterical laughter.
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