Kapitel 31: Chapter 32
ALEX
I had spent the rest of the afternoon quite well. Seeing Gabriela relaxed helped me in a way not to think about what had happened to that bad boy.
While the others told me stories about Gabriela, I couldn't help a smile appearing on my face, and I couldn't help but hug Gabriela when I noticed she was ashamed of what they were telling, although I don't understand why, because it was all really adorable. At this moment we were heading to one of the beaches not too far from her grandparents' house. We were going to eat at a restaurant on the beach and then if she felt like it, we would go for a walk on the beach, I know how much she liked the beach, and I'm more than sure it would do anything to make her feel better, because despite everything that happened this afternoon, I know she's acting strong and affects her in a certain way.
"What are we doing here?" Gabriela asked curiously. "We're having dinner, as I told your grandmother, this is a date." I responded "And what is the reason for this date?" She continued asking, "I love you so much, isn't that a great reason for us to go on a date?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow. "Obviously it is, but considering we didn't have a date in a while…"
"Well, that's what needs to be remedied, beautiful." I said before she finished saying whatever she wanted to say. "It convinces me." My fiancée responded, nodding, "Well, let's go." We held hands and went to the restaurant. Once there we looked at the menu and ordered a few minutes after arriving. Gabriela was looking at the beach, since it could be seen and obviously, I'm looking at her.
"If it were any other time I would be nervous because you were staring at me so intently." Gabriela said without taking her eyes off the water. "It's the effect I have." I commented "Wow, how modest." She responded, bursting into laughter, "It's the truth, but you know I'm only interested in the effect I have on a person." I said, "If you weren't, I would have to worry." She answered, "It could be, but I'm so madly in love with that person that I couldn't notice anyone other than her. It has eclipsed my world."
"And that, gentlemen, is an exaggeration at the extreme level of my dear fiancé." We started laughing, and even though I know it sounded exaggerated, it's the truth, I love her more than anything in the world. "I love you Alex." My fiancée said with a smile, "Me too, and it's not it bothers me or anything like that, but why are you saying it now?" I asked curiously, "Because I do love you, and in a way to thank you for understanding why I didn't tell you about what happened four years ago."
"You have nothing to be grateful for, beautiful." I responded, because in the end I suppose it's not something easy to talk about. "I must admit partially I was afraid you would leave me as soon as you found out." She admitted in a whisper, "I wouldn't do it. You didn't want anything to do with that guy and even if you had had sex with other people, I would love you the same, because that happened when we weren't together and I would accept it. I will always love you Gabriela."
"Do you think we can go for a walk on the beach after eating?" She asked "Anything my beautiful queen wants. Now can I ask you a question?" I questioned, "Does it have anything to do with what happened four years ago?" My soon to be wife asked and I denied, "No, we'll talk about that when you're ready." I assured, since the last thing I want is to make her more uncomfortable. "So what do you want to ask?"
"What happened in London when you went to help Camila find a flat?" I asked, "Is that really what you wanted to ask?" She questioned and I shrugged, because I did want to know, but I didn't want her to be uncomfortable either. "Yeah, the way they spoke made me curious." I admitted, "Well, you could have waited for them to tell you the story themselves."
"I wasn't going to let them do it, it seems like it's something you're ashamed of and I didn't want to push it any further after you gave in to letting them tell me things about your past." I responded, "Obviously I'm embarrassed, why do you want to know?" Gabriela asked "Like I told you, I would like to know everything about you, but if you don't want to tell me I understand."
"It's not that, it's just really embarrassing." She replied, "You'll tell me." I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I'll tell you if you promise me you won't laugh." She said after a few minutes "I won't laugh." I assured, "Well, let's see... We went to England because Camila was going to look for an apartment, she's one of those people who can't stay still in one place and when she calls my grandmother she's usually in different places, so we don't know well where she is exctly"
"And that's why your grandmother said she thought she was studying in London." I said, remembering that moment "Yes, you could see she's a restless ass and can't sit still in one place. The thing is that the day we arrived, we went out to a club at night, and don't ask me why, I decided to try a drink of I don't know what from Camila's glass. I must admit I liked it, so I took one and that was enough for me to not know anything about what I was doing, at least not consciously."
"And what happened?" I asked curiously, "Well, apparently we started playing I don't know what there, and Camila told me I wouldn't dare dance on the bar." It started and my eyes increased to their normal size "I can't believe it…" I murmured, seeing where things were going "Me neither, I don't know what was going through my head at that moment to be honest, but it was horrendous, especially considering the videos they showed me"
"I would have liked to see that." I admitted with a big smile on my face "Alex!!!!" Gabriela exclaimed, slapping me on the arm. "What? It's true, I don't like the part that many people saw you like that, but it's the only way I can see you dance." I replied, "That wasn't all." She said and I frowned "No?" I asked a little confused "No. They kicked us out of the club after that, but the three of us were drunk enough to do shit. On the street we continued challenging each other to do stupid things and there was a moment when I started crying, out of nowhere, I felt incredibly down and they laughed at me. A woman stopped by asking me if I was okay, but I wasn't able to say anything, because I was crying too much."
"And they laughed at you?" I questioned, "Apparently they don't get the depression it gave me. That's why I don't drink alcohol, I felt like shit, and the headache I had all day was horrible, I don't understand why people do it constantly." She confessed "Because you get used to it and you don't have hangovers like the one you must have had."
"Well, that was the worst day of my life." She said "Well let me tell you, you have nothing to be ashamed of with that, it happened to everyone at some point." I responded, because it's true. "Maybe, but that doesn't help me feel better." Gabriela assured, "Don't worry, I won't let you be embarrassed anymore." I said sincerely "Thank you, I love you Alex." She said with a big smile "i love you, Gabriela." During dinner we had a really good time. I could see she was calm and like she had a weight less on her shoulders, which made me happy.
I guess she must have been keeping what that bastard did to her for a long time and would end up exploding, but that wouldn't happen because I would be with and for her whenever she needed it, even if she wanted to talk about that topic, I would be there to listen to her because I love her more than anything in the world and the only thing that matters to me is her happiness.
When we finished dinner, we went for a walk to the beach and ended up sitting on the sand, me stroking Gabriela's hair and her looking towards the sea. "Alex." She murmured, "Tell me, beautiful." I replied, "I have to tell you something." I noticed she's serious and thinking too much, so I pulled her away from me a little and made her look at me, because at this moment I'm worrying about what's going on in her head.
"About what?" I asked curiously, "Do you remember when the doctor told me if I started to notice I was getting too stressed, I should take the pills and I refused?" She asked and I nodded. "Yes, because Carlota had asked you. Why?"
"Part of it was because of that, but it's not the whole reason." My fiancée admitted, "I don't understand." I responded "Years ago, shortly after we broke up, I went into depression, and before you think it was your fault, it's not, at that time my life really sucked, or at least that's what I felt. They prescribed antidepressants and stress pills. The thing is I took the pills like candy because I didn't want to feel anything, I was tired of my life and everyone looking at me with pity. I spent the day locked in my room and at night I went out without anyone knowing, I didn't want to worry anyone. I was on antidepressants for about a month because I had to stop taking them."
"Have you recovered from depression?" I asked, not liking where this is going. "Not even close." She replied, "Then I don't understand." I responded, "The thing is, one night Kevin called me and it was the worst day of my life, that's how I felt. That night I wanted to end everything, I hated my life too much to continue living it and the addiction to pills was beginning to affect me, it was turning me into a person totally contrary to who I wanted to be. If it wasn't for Kevin I wouldn't be here today."
Those words shocked me. Was Gabriela going to commit suicide that day? What addiction is hse talking about? I'm not understanding anything at this moment or the reason why she's telling me. "You're not serious…" I said, confused. "That's the most serious thing you'll ever hear me talk about." responded "Why?" I asked "Because like I told you, my life was shit. I was losing track of what I wanted to be and the antidepressant pills, instead of helping, were making it worse. Kevin noticed that I wasn't good and didn't hesitate to fly from Holland. He made sure Camila went to my side, luckily for us, Kevin is good with technology and he tracked my phone, allowing Camila to arrive since she was here spending a few days that ended up being months without the others finding out."
"Don't the others know anything?" I asked surprised "The only ones who know are Camila and Kevin. Obviously, Carlota suspects I wanted to commit suicide, but I never confirmed it to her." She admitted, "What I don't understand is the addiction thing." I said honestly, "I don't remember well how many pills I could take per day, I think it was three, but I took three at a time, the pills helped me make others see I was fairly well on the outside, but on the inside everything was hell"
"But you're good at hiding your feelings." I pointed out and she nodded. "I know, but I didn't fully control them and the pills helped me not to see how bad I felt." She confessed "So that's the reason you stopped taking the pills?" I asked "Yes, Camila and Kevin helped me a lot with that. At first I hated them because they didn't leave me alone for a second, preventing me from doing what I wanted, but then I understood it wasn't worth ending my life to improve it. I had them attached for years until they made sure I was really okay. That was when Federico happened."
I'm shocked. It 's too much sensitive information that apparently no one knew about and she told me, I'm happy partly because that's a further step in our relationship, but on the other hand it also made me feel sad, because she wanted to end her life. "Why are you telling me now?" I asked "So you know I trust you more than anything in the world and I'll have no secrets from you."
"Thanks for trusting me." I thanked, since I suppose it's not something easy to say. "At some point you would have to find out." Gabriela responded, shrugging her shoulders. "Beautiful, I promise you I'll do everything in my power and more to make you the happiest woman in the world." I said, starting to look for ways to achieve it. "You already do it, I may have recovered moderately afterwards, but I have never been the same since you left me, I'm sure everyone tells you that."
"I've heard it before." I admitted "Because it's true and I know you'll do whatever is necessary for me to be happy, but it's not necessary because with you it's enough and I have more than enough." He assured, "Well, I'll always be with you." I said with a big smile on my face "You make it clear to me every day." Gabriela whispered with a smile on her face as well. "And I will continue to make it clear to you for the rest of our days."
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein