Kapitel 1: A Note From the Author
I am, of course, publishing this work and living my life under the guise of carefully-selected noms de plume. I am told that I have a great number of admirateurs, in which case I am sure that I can rely on them to attend to my aspiration for anonymity. Likewise, the identity of my amanuensis has been meticulously guarded. Any attempt to unearth her name shall result in nothing but wasted time and, naturally, in my being fâché beyond reprieve.
I am dictating this in response to a pair of books, some plays, and several moving pictures, based on myself, that are drastically incorrect. I must put these tales to truth, for the atrocities that they declare are far past my propensity to ignore. There will, no doubt, be times that I shall not comment on certain understandings of my character. This, in no way, neither confirms nor negates these understandings. In addition, I shall exercise my right to keep certain facts and events to myself. My amanuensis conveys to me that les Français are known to be a private people. I shall confirm this sentiment and beg your forgiveness if you should find it irritant. I shall use the language of my birth when I feel that words cannot be conveyed with a language so simple as English. If translation is needed, you may look elsewhere for it. With this being said, let us begin.