Kapitel 28: Failing you
Isabelle quickly found Elisabeth and bid her a quiet goodbye.
"Leaving so soon?" Elisabeth seemed a little upset.
"I'm afraid so." Isabelle looked down in shame. "Thank you for inviting me. Thank you for letting me see Nicolas. He's a wonderful little boy. He deserves to be loved. I know that you can give him that love." Isabelle said quietly.
"When will I see you again?"
"I'm not sure. I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities in the future."
"Well, maybe in a few months it'll be your turn to invite me over to see your little one." Elisabeth smiled at Isabelle who turned red.
"I'll write to you." Isabelle said as a promise.
"Thank you."
Elisabeth hugged her dearly, as if she forgot that she was a duchess and she should act accordingly.
Although Isabelle was thankful for a hug, Elisabeth's hands on her back reminded her of the very new wounds.
Isabelle hesitated in trying to work out whether she should bid goodbye to her step-mother and step-sister but Samuel reappeared and led her to the carriage where Matilda was trying to hide her still very reddened eyes. Isabelle pities her.
The journey back was very quiet. Isabelle tried to do some knitting but she often looked out of the window watching the scenery change. They didn't stop for lunch but instead Samuel bought some food and brought it to the carriage. He really wanted to speed up the return to Ariadna as much as he could.
Isabelle watched as houses became sparse and then started crowding again. She watched as houses became brighter and tidied. She watched as dark clothes knights and soldiers changed to knights wearing silver, gold and white.
After a long journey, the carriage rolled through the gate and up to the castle's entrance.
Samuel quickly opened the door to the carriage and Isabelle propped out. She briefly looked up and saw Cassian at the top of the stairs. She smiled subconsciously looking right at Cassian. He looked dignified in his gold and cream style suit. His eyes twinkled with something indescribable.
Isabelle's body relaxed at the familiar sight of the castle. She looked away from Cassian as she took the step down, holding onto Samuel's hand.
"I hope that you'll excuse me, your highness." Samuel said to her.
"Of course, Sir Asselin. You are not my personal servant after all." Her smile held up on her face. Samuel reciprocated it before rushing up the stairs and seeing Cassian.
Isabelle looked up once again at Cassian who gave her a nod as Samuel approached him. Before she started walking up the stairs, he was already gone with Samuel. Perhaps for the better. She could barely hold up straight as the pain somehow started getting worse. She looked at where Cassian disappeared, wondering if her life were soon to turn to what Elisabeth's life was already.
Matilda led Isabelle to her chamber and she disappeared too. Isabelle was keen to have a bath after the long journey, and afterwards she lay in bed feeling ashamed for what Samuel and Matilda have seen. Not to mention that she was afraid of the rumours spreading. What will Cassian do if he finds out that she was unchaperoned with Samuel?
Cassian followed Samuel who insisted that he needed to speak to him immediately.
"What is so urgent?" Cassian asked Samuel impatiently.
"I don't even know where to start." Samuel run a hand through his hair.
"Why did you return earlier?"
"I couldn't stand that place."
"Did you force Isabelle to return earlier?"
"No." Samuel shook his head. "If anything, we shouldn't have stayed for as long for her sake."
"What happened?"
"Isabelle has been hurt by them."
"What?! Who's them?"
"Isabelle's mother, Queen Beatrice."
"She's not Isabelle's mother. What happened?"
"I don't even know where to begin. I've acted as Isabelle's servant as you told me to. I've obeyed her every word. I regret I did though. They were disrespectful. The Queen kept insinuating that you've send Isabelle away because you didn't want her. She has said that Isabelle was fat, and that she couldn't wear the dresses that she did because they didn't suit her. She stopped Isabelle from eating and forced her in servants dresses."
"I understand that it's disrespectful…" Cassian was unsure what to think of Samuel's words.
"I did something stupid. And I know you will be unhappy about it too."
"What did you do?"
"After the whole evening of this verbal abuse, I went to see Isabelle in private. I didn't do anything unjust. I was just angry about everything that they've said. But the worst was that I was spotted leaving Isabelle's chamber which I didn't realise. Isabelle was punished for it this morning whilst I wasn't around to protect her." Samuel's hand started shaking from the flood of anger. "Matilda was there when it happened. I don't know the exact account of events but Matilda called me as soon as she could and I've got Isabelle in a carriage as soon as I could."
"Your highness." Matilda walked in. She was pale and she looked terrorised.
"Samuel mentioned that you were a witness to…" Cassian wasn't even sure what to call it.
Matilda started sobbing again.
"I've tried to protect her highness. I've tried. They tried to punish me too. But her highness asked to take my punishment too. They held me away as they beat her and she take double the beatings I was meant to."
"They beat her?"
"Ten rods for…" Matilda looked over at Samuel. "And twenty for me misspeaking."
"Is she hurt?"
"She had deep cuts on her back." Samuel admitted. Cassian stood up and walked out of his study. "Take a leave, Matilda." He said behind his back.
He hesitated by Isabelle's chamber and he knocked lightly but there was no answer. He was worried and walked in. He searched for Isabelle with his sight but she was not in her bedroom. He walked across the room and froze suddenly, spotting Isabelle undressing for her bath. The running water concealed his steps.
He became motionless, holding his breath in. Isabelle's long hair flowed across her back. She pulled her dress down revealing the new cuts. Cassian hurriedly left her room without being notice.
He rushed towards Samuel's study.
"Scratch that." He said to Samuel. "I need you to write a letter, without profanities, to king Edgar." Cassian ordered Samuel. "All trades with Galbore are suspended as of now. Isabelle is to never step a foot in Galbore again. Try not to start an immediate war. We need to be strategic about it."
"Strategic? You're cutting off the last threads of truce with Galbore."
"Tell me I'm wrong." Cassian looked at Samuel ready for the challenge.
"I'll try to handle it." Samuel sighed. "Council is trying to meet with you tomorrow."
"What? Why?"
"I have a good suspicion that it's not because of some urgent kingdom matter but rather your personal life."
"Urgh…" Cassian grumbled.
As the dinner time came, he sat waiting for Isabelle for a while. Matilda appeared instead.
"Your highness." Matilda bowed. "Her highness fell asleep. I wanted to check with you if you'd like me to wake her up."
"In that case, let her rest." Cassian decided hurt that he didn't get to see her properly.
That night he lay in bed thinking back to Isabelle's very first smile and to the image of her bare back that was covered in deep cuts. He hated himself for sending her to Galbore without asking if she truly wanted to go. He needed time to recover more and he didn't want her to see him at his weakest. He was selfish.
The next morning, councillors gathered in one of the rooms and requested his audience. Cassian hated it. But he made his way towards the room.
Samuel's as right in his suspicions, but he didn't quite predict how they were going to get rid of Isabelle yet.
"Your majesty, we must raise a concern." The official spoke.
"Concern?"
"Indeed." The man nodded. "In the light of your recent accident, we are concerned about the lack of heir to the throne of Ariadna."
"How is that a concern?" Cassian asked as he placed his chin on his hand, his elbow resting on the table.
"You're one of the last from the pure bloodline. You should find a way to bring in the heir with one of the pure bloods left. Someone who can lead Ariadna to the greatness."
Samuel rolled his eyes now understanding the plan of the councillors. Pure bloodlines were rare and Isabelle was unlikely to be one considering the fact that her mother was generally unknown. And Isabelle didn't bear a child yet. Her standing in the court, according to the two officials, was solely reliant on those two pillars. They obviously didn't know that the marriage between Cassian and Isabelle wasn't solely a political deal and that Cassian had further intentions towards Isabelle. He was never going to sway in their desired direction. If anything, they infuriated him.
"I don't see it happening." Cassian answered shortly. "Meeting adjourned." He announced before standing up. He was the first one to leave the room, bumping straight into Isabelle, who looked away straight away. "What are you doing here?" He asked her sharply. He didn't intend the sharpness in his voice but he was still annoyed by the official's ridiculous suggestion.
"I'm sorry…" Isabelle managed to utter. "I was going to the sunroom and I took the wrong turn. I'm really sorry."
"Matilda!" He roared down the corridor.
"Yes, your highness." Matilda hurriedly appeared around. "Here you are, milady." She said to Isabelle. "I thought you were going to the sunroom."
"Make sure that she doesn't get lost again." He said rather sharply, walking away quickly.
Isabelle looked behind him warily when she saw the officials in the room. They haven't looked at her but Samuel noticed her. He gave her a nod before she walked away with Matilda.
Once around the corner, Isabelle looked at her maid.
"Matilda, do you know about pure bloods?" Isabelle asked as she walked beside her.
"Well, yes, but very little." Matilda smiled. "Pure bloods are a recognised royal family lines, a direct descendants of the original fathers of the lands."
"Oh." Isabelle looked surprised to hear that. "How many pure bloods are there now?"
"Only a few. Maybe ten across the entire continent."
"I see." Isabelle nodded, not continuing the subject further. Matilda led her to the sunroom where she placed herself in a comfortable armchair and read a book, taking in the warm sunshine that fell onto her face.
In the afternoon she went to the library, curious in a new topic of pure bloods.
Cassian grumbled for most of the day.
"Is there any way we can get him off the council?" Cassian asked Samuel.
"Not easily. He is one of the most experienced officials there are and has been on a council for decades. He has a strong backing."
"I can't stand him."
"Well…" Samuel hesitated. "It is a valid concern where there is no heir to the throne. Although I understand that this is not something you want to discuss right now."
"I understand the concern. I hate the proposed solution. I have a wife."
"With whom you're not intimate and it's currently looking rather bleak on that front."
"Are you suggesting I should bring in mistresses? Or that I should annul my marriage?" Cassian looked at Samuel with what seemed like a murderous intent.
"I haven't suggested either. I am just stating the obvious." Samuel thought for a moment before adding. "I am not concerned about the whole pure-bloodline crap, but there are many older council members who might insist on it."
"Samuel!" Cassian raised his voice. It was a final warning.
"I wanted to suggest that we think about our tactic and how we can move forward without loosing our ground against the council."
Cassian nodded unsurely, discussing it further for a while longer.
Once they finished discussing the officials, Cassian paced across the room.
"Do you think she heard him?" Cassian asked with worry, as he turned to Samuel.
"Perhaps. You'll only know once you speak with her."
"I don't want her to think that…" Cassian closed his eyes and rubbed his face with frustration.
Samuel smiled. Overhearing Elisabeth's marriage horror stories reassured him that Cassian was a good man.
Cassian walked across to the sunroom which was now empty. He decided to check the library after taking into consideration Isabelle's interests.
He was right, she was there, sat submerged in a book. She had a pile of books spread across the desk and bits of parchment in between.
Cassian walked up to her, looking over her shoulder curiously. Isabelle haven't noticed him at first, but as soon as she did, she jumped up.
"I do apologise, I didn't mean to startle you." Cassian said with a smile. "I was trying to see what book you were reading."
"I'm so sorry, your highness. I was deeply engrossed in the book that I didn't notice what was around me. I'm so sorry." Isabelle looked down, turning paler than before. Cassian tried to ignore it. He furrowed his brows as his eyes landed on the book.
"You've heard what Sir Galleon said." He stated.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't intend to. I…" Isabelle stuttered nervously. "I took the wrong turn while searching for the sunroom. I'm sorry."
"There's no need to apologise. I am just concerned about what you've heard." Cassian sat down on the chair beside her, watching how she started moving the books around with her slim and long fingers. She was ever so graceful in her carefulness.
"I understand Sir Galleon's concern. Pure blood lines are naturally diminishing and preserving them is a true challenge. Never mind that the lack of heir to the throne is a threat to the kingdom. It can be seen as a weakness." Isabelle said rather quietly. She picked a parchment of paper with her neat handwriting on. "Currently, there are only eleven females that are known to be of pure blood, of which only six are unmarried and four are of child-bearing ages. This does leave a very limited choice." Isabelle passed the parchment of paper to Cassian who was dumbfounded. "I am sure that your highness will be successful in pursuing them and that the concerns of Sir Galleon's can be resolved in due course." Isabelle stood up and bowed her head low. "I do apologise for an unintentional intrusion earlier. Please, excuse me." She uttered nervously before leaving.
Cassian looked behind her with his eyes and mouth wide open. He looked down at the paper with neat handwriting feeling as if he was stabbed in his chest.
Isabelle stopped just outside of the library, trying to steady her heartbeat. As she sat in the library for hours, learning of the pure bloodlines, she came to a conclusion that her best way of staying in the court was not to try to prevent any affairs Cassian might desire. It still hurt to suggest her husband the very names of a women he should consider, but it was somehow better than ever going back to Galbore again. She saw her step-mother for less than a day and she felt broken again.
She hurried to her chamber, where she hid whilst sobbing. Everything seemed bleak.
"And? Did she hear him?" Samuel came in to the library not long after Isabelle has left.
"She did." Cassian turned to face Samuel.
"And? Did you manage to explain that you had no intentions to ever follow up on that?"
"No." Cassian answered honestly. "She just handed me this and walked off."
"What even is this?" Samuel asked as he couldn't work out why there were four names written on the paper.
"These are the pure bloods that are unmarried and of child-bearing age." Cassian admitted.
"She gave you a list of pure bloods?" Samuel asked in amusement but he was met with a scowl rather than an answer. "Why?"
"She said that she's sure that I will be successful in pursuing them and that the concerns of Sir Galleon's can be resolved in due course." Cassian repeated Isabelle's words. "What the hell does she mean by it?!"
"I think it's her way of saying that she's supporting the idea."
"What? Why? It's outrageous!"
"Well…" Samuel hesitated. "She might be hoping that someone else can take her place."
Cassian looked at Samuel silently, contemplating his words. "I don't think it's you." Samuel let out a sigh. "I've learnt a lot about Galbore recently."
"What do you mean?"
"I've heard of the horrid things the duke does. It seems that women in Galbore are treated very poorly. I think that she expects you to be like what she was taught was normal." Samuel sat opposite Cassian. "She told me something that I didn't believe true, but it turns out to be true. According to the law of Galbore, woman's defiance is punishable by law. But what they define as defiance is even more ridiculous. It can be any undesirable behaviour, so anything a male dislikes really, but also interest in certain subjects such as politics, which are considered to be beyond woman's capabilities. And any behaviour considered inappropriate or displeasing by the husband, father, or male figure. What's worse, three offences can lead to an execution."
"I'm not sure what you're trying to say."
"I believe that her highness is acting the way that she does towards you in fear of what you might do to her, not realising that Ariadna law considers women as equal to men. Not realising that YOU consider women as equal. I think this is one of her ways of hoping to please you." Samuel pointed at the names. "Her role-models are not necessarily good either. The duke has two mistresses and flaunts it very openly, even in front of the duchess. This is the kind of expectation that has been installed in Isabelle."
"Thank you for sharing this with me." Cassian said as he carefully thought about Samuel's words.
"I don't think that you deserve to know it, but her highness spoke very favourably of you."
"Did she?" Cassian asked in disbelief.
"Surprisingly, yes." Samuel smiled.
"Thank you, Sam." Cassian said as he tapped his friend on the back and then he left.
He saw Isabelle not much later in the dining room.
"Good evening." He said to her. He was observing her more carefully than before.
"Good evening." She replied coyly.
They ate their dinner in silence, although Cassian barely ate. He leaned back in his chair, watching Isabelle from afar.
"Adeline?" He asked.
"Yes, your highness?" Isabelle looked up with worry.
"Why are you like this?"
"Like what, your majesty?" Isabelle immediately shrank in herself as she realised that she did it again.
"Why are you afraid of me?"
"I-…" Isabelle stuttered.
"Answer me." Cassian demanded.
"I don't know."
"What can I do to make you feel at home in Ariadna?"
"Nothing." Isabelle answered honestly.
"Nothing?"
"No, Ariadna is a truly beautiful kingdom with many kindhearted people. It is perfect as it is."
"What can I do to make the castle your home?"
"My home is where you want it to be."
"I-…" Cassian took a deep breath. "I need to hear your thoughts. Your exact thoughts. I don't want your rehearsed answers. You must answer me honestly." Cassian said sternly. Isabelle shrunk further in her seat. "Am I hideous?"
"No." Isabelle answered in almost a whisper.
"Why are you afraid of me?"
"I don't know." Isabelle hesitated. The tears escaped her eyes. "I am not necessarily afraid of you, your majesty. I am rather scared that I am not a wife you were promised and that I am failing you." Cassian's chest tightened in a knot as Isabelle continued. "I am only trying to do as I was told was right. I am trying to abide by you. I am trying to respect you. Yet, I am failing at every corner."
"Failing?" Cassian furrowed his brows.
"Indeed. From the very first moment."
"How can you be failing me from the very first moment?"
"I've dropped your wedding band as I'm ever so clumsy, and then…"
"Then what?"
"I must've not acted right as you haven't touched me on our wedding night. And as I've arrived you haven't summoned me into your chamber a single time. I worry that I repulse you."
"What?" Cassian couldn't believe what he heard. "Do you want me to touch you?"
"It is my duty as a wife…"
"Do YOU want me to touch you?" Cassian interrupted her explanation. Isabelle started picking at her fingers,
"I wish to fulfil my duties as your wife." She mumbled.
Cassian looked at her and his heart shattered in millions of pieces. They broke her. They've destroyed her. They've managed to break her free spirit. They broke his Isabelle.
"You do." Cassian said in a much softer tone. Isabelle looked up in surprise. "Your duties as MY wife are simple. I want you to live in the castle and find a way to be somewhat happy. I saw you do just that. I saw you fall asleep by a fireplace with a book. I saw you run around and play games with children and maids. I saw you smile and laugh. I do not expect anything else of you." Cassian started eating again as he hasn't touched much of his meal yet. Isabelle looked up at him in surprise.
"I don't understand." She uttered.
"Before you assumed what your duties are as MY wife, you should've asked ME. I do not abide by Galbore's rules and traditions and my expectations of you are very different to what might be expectations of women in the Galbore castle." Isabelle stared at him, wiping her tears away. His argument made sense. She should be abiding by him and no one else.
Isabelle looked down but also smiled at his words. This brought a smile to Cassian's face.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein