App herunterladen
87.5% Three and a Half Men / Chapter 7: Take away his foreskin?

Kapitel 7: Take away his foreskin?

Johnny POV

When I got back to Malibu i went back to my house and unpacked my things, I bought a lot of souvenirs for Jake, Charlie and Alan, so after I took a shower i got the souvenirs and went to Charlie's house, as I got there i heard Alan and Charlie talking.

"What's in the bucket?" I heard alan say.

"Chum" Charlie answered.

"What?" Alan said.

"Cum? Dude why do you have that in a fricking bucket, that's weird even for you Charlie" I said.

"No!! not cum, chum as in fish bait" Charlie said.

"I went down to the bait shop and asked them what seagulls like to eat" he explained.

"We're keeping them?" Alan said.

"them? seagulls? Are you raising seagulls now Charlie? what is it? you trying to impress some hot biologist girl?" I asked.

"No, but that's a good idea, the kid let the birds inside his room and they won't leave. So we're going to throw the bait out the window to lure the birds out of the house" Charlie said.

"That's pretty clever" Alan said.

"No, it isn't, that's not going to work Charlie" I said

"Of course it's going to work Johnny, it's a variation on something I do

with women and tennis bracelets" Charlie said.

"Birds are not like women Charlie, they might not be as dangerous but they are more reckless" i said and Jake got on the kitchen with a card.

"Hey, Uncle Charlie, I made this for you" Jake said as he handed the card to charlie.

"Thanks" charlie said.

"I made it myself" jake said.

"I see that" Charlie said.

"What are you doing?" Jake asked.

"I'm getting rid of the birds" Charlie answered.

"Can I help?" Jake asked.

"it's not going to work Jake, you better stay away from them" I said.

"it will work and no, you can't help Jake" Charlie said.

"Jake, why don't you go out and play on the deck, okay?" Alan said.

"Okay" Jake answered and left the kitchen.

"What is wrong with you? He worked really hard on that card. You barely looked at it" Alan said.

"What do you want from me?" charlie asked exasperated.

"He's dying for you to forgive him" Alan said.

"Fine. I forgive him. Now, are you going to help me or not? I got a serious problem here" Charlie said as he put on a raincoat and diving mask.

"Really? Because you look like you have it all together" Alan said sarcastically.

i watched as they went to Jake's room, poor bastards, they are going to get humiliated.

/A few minutes later/

i see charlie and alan coming back to the living room.

"Either that or sell the house. I'll put it on the market as a two-bedroom plus aviary. Everybody loves an aviary" Charlie said.

"did it work Charlie?" I asked in a mocking voice.

"shut up smartass" Charlie said.

"What about Jake? Are you gonna put him on the market or just wall him off?" Alan asked.

"I tried with that kid, Alan. He says one thing and then he goes and does another" Charlie said.

"He's 10. He's got the attention span of a hummingbird" Alan explained.

"What am I supposed to do when he ignores me?" Charlie asked.

"you could threaten him with circumcision, that's what mom used to do" I said.

"No, Mom didn't do that, she sent me and Charlie to a camp in Israel and we got beaten by the other kids because we weren't Jewish and she threatened to send you too if you didn't behave. now Charlie if wanna educate Jake you punish him. You take away his computer, his TV, his toys" Alan explained.

"You already took away all the good stuff. What am I supposed to take away? His bronchial inhaler? maybe do like Johnny and take away his foreskin?" Charlie said.

"You know what I'm saying, Charlie. You don't take away your love" Alan said.

"i mean, that's what mom did to Charlie so you can see why that would be his first approach" I said.

"No way I'm going to be like mom, i'll talk to the kid" Charlie said and walked to the sundeck where jake was.

3rd POV

Charlie took Jake to the shop and is going to buy him a videogame.

"This is so cool, Uncle Charlie" Jake said.

"Yeah, I was kind of hard on you, and I wanted to make it up" Charlie said.

"So, you're not still mad about the seagulls?" Jake asked.

"I'm still mad. I just figured out a better way to deal with it" Charlie said. 

"Well, I think this is a very good way" Jake said.

"Me, too. I'm buying you all this stuff, but as punishment for letting seagulls in my house, you can't play with it for a month" Charlie said and took the videogame from Jake's hand.

"A month?" Jake asked.

"Pretty smart, huh?" Charlie said.

"It's not fair" Jake said.

"is that or your foreskin jake" Charlie said.

"what?" Jake asked.

"nothing, forget about it, lets go" he said and started walking away.


AUTORENGEDANKEN
GOD_OF_PATO GOD_OF_PATO

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