Kapitel 39: Chapter 39
-Gaara's POV-
I heard the shower running when I came home, which took me by surprise because it's well after midnight.
This Christmas with Temari and Kankuro was the best one I've ever had, so I'm riding high on the warm and happy emotions that brought with it. Normally at least of us have to work at some dead end job for the holiday to reap the benefits of double pay, but this time it was different.
I pay for both of their housing, a fact both of my siblings were and still are completely against, but there's nothing they can do to stop me. I have more than enough money to do that, and more, so it's not like I'm putting myself in a place to financially struggle. Plus, it just feels right to pay them back for all the trouble I've caused and how much effort both of them have put into raising me when our parents no longer could.
Once I finished unpacking, I looked at the small cactus Temari gifted me with a small smile. As a child, the three of us had one and I loved taking care of it because it's kind of hard to kill one. She remembered that and surprised me with the nostalgic plant.
I'll have to order a lamp or something so it can get the warmth and sunlight it needs in my room because I don't have any windows or maybe I can put it in the living room or Sakura's room. She has a giant window with a wide ledge perfect for plants. The water shut off in the bathroom a few minutes ago and I heard her leave, likely to go to bed. I'll ask her tomorrow.
My fingers absently rose to the smooth stone resting against my chest under my shirt: the necklace she gave me for Christmas. It's one of the souvenirs they sell at the karaoke bar we met at for the first time and she had the exact date engraved on the back of it. Someone else might've gotten offended that she chose something much less pricey or flashy than what she'd gotten Hinata and Sasuke, but it's my favorite gift out of all the wonderful things I've been given.
Sure, she likely remembers the date because it was the same day that Tenten recruited her, but it still makes me so happy that she knows me well enough to know I'd love something like this. To be honest, she could've given me just a card and I'd treasure it.
I thought that maybe, somehow, my feelings for her would weaken after she began dating Sasori, but that's very much not the case. If anything, it makes me want her even more because she deserves to be treated so much better than how he does and I desperately want to be the one to show her that. With that thought in mind, I layed down to try and force myself asleep.
In the morning, I woke up to be pleasantly surprised to find I'd slept for almost eight hours, something incredibly rare for me.
Rubbing my eyes, I trudged into the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth, only to hiss when I stepped on something sharp. Kneeling down, I picked the item up and realized it was a necklace with a broken chain. When I saw that it had a little bit of blood on it, I checked my foot, only to get that much more confused when it was uninjured.
It's Sakura's, obviously, but it's rare for her to leave things around carelessly like that, especially something that at least looks like it'd be expensive like this necklace. She must've been exhausted last night and not realized where it was, but that left the question of why there's blood on it. I'll ask her when I'm done. Maybe it's not even blood and it's makeup or something. Who knows.
Sighing, I washed it in the sink before placing it on a hand towel to dry properly before showering and brushing my teeth like I originally planned. When I was finished, I went out into the kitchen to scrounge for something to snack on with my coffee. No one else's around even though it's almost noon. I know Sakura's home and I'm pretty sure Hinata is as well, but from where I'm standing near the island, this house could be deserted.
Hours passed and there wasn't even a single sound in the house that hinted to anyone else being home. I began to worry and knocked on Sakura's door since she's the only one I know for sure is here. For a few moments there was nothing but silence and I began to wonder if she's asleep, but then I heard the lock click and my lips tugged into a frown. She never locks her doors because she wants all of us to be able to talk to her at any time, something she outright told all three of us when we first moved in together. "Just please make sure you knock first!" That's what she said is her only stipulation.
"Sakura, are you alright?" My face warmed slightly with embarrassment and I hoped she doesn't think I'm being weird and nosey, but I'm also too worried to let it prevent me from checking.
Again, there was no response. With no other choice, I left her alone.
Did they get into a fight or something and she's upset? That's the most likely scenario given how they act around one another these days. A small part of me hopes they broke up, but the bigger, more mature, part of me just hopes she's alright no matter what may have happened. Sakura's one of the most stubborn people I know, so if she doesn't want to talk right now, there's nothing I can do to change her mind. I'll just have to be here if she eventually does.
-Sakura's POV-
For the entirety of the next day, I felt sick to my stomach and absolutely exhausted. I think I even had a fever, but was too weak to get up and verify. Gaara tried to check on me, but I just locked both doors to my room and ignored him. I didn't have the energy to get dressed so I could hide all the big bruises and little cuts on my body and if he found out I was sick, he'd definitely try to spend the rest of the day taking care of me, which I very much don't want right now.
I realized when I first woke up and felt sore that I'd cut my neck when tearing off Sasori's necklace the night before. It wasn't very deep, but even the spots that aren't cut have a very noticeable bruise shaped like the chain.
Other than Gaara, I didn't hear anything from my other bandmates for the entire day, which surprised me. Hinata didn't tell us if she had plans at all, so I'm not sure if and when she'll be home, but Sasuke was supposed to be back before me. Somehow, despite sleeping for the entire day, I went to bed early in hopes to feel better for our first day back at the agency tomorrow.
Something's not right. As soon as I woke up, I knew something was off.
The lower half of my body feels heavier than usual, while the upper half feels too light and dizzy. When I tried to climb out of bed so I could shower and get ready for the day, I fell to my hands and knees as a bolt of lightning hot pain rushed from in between my legs up to my ribcage. My teeth grit and my vision became blurred with tears, but I somehow got upright and struggled into the bathroom where I realized I was bleeding heavily like I had while being assaulted. It's not time for my monthly cycle, so something's definitely wrong.
Panic shook my limbs as I turned the shower on, holding onto the counter for support with one hand and the other resting against my lower abdomen in an attempt to ease the throbbing ache there with pressure. When I got under the hot water, I began taking slow, steady breaths to regain my composure and started to come up with a plan.
I can't just go to the hospital now or else everyone will know something's going on because I'll be late to our vocal lesson, or maybe even miss it entirely, and I can't go after it because our lunch break isn't long enough and I'll be late for dance practice. I don't want Sai to think I'm a slacker who doesn't take his tutoring seriously, so I refuse to disrespect him like that. I'll just have to tough it out until practice ends tonight and then slip away under the guise of visiting my mom or something.
The excuse doesn't matter. What does is how I'm going to manage this unbearable pain until that time comes.
A worried frown tugged at my lips as I watched the stream of blood run down my leg to the shower floor where the water rinsed it down the drain.
I've got it. I'll tell everyone I pulled a muscle in my back, that way they won't think anything of it if I visibly appear sore or can't perform as well during dance practice.
When I was done showering, I dressed in clothes that covered as much skin as possible. I don't own a classic turtleneck, something I now regret, and ended up settling for an oversized sweater with a high collar. So long as I don't accidentally lower it and leave my hair completely down, no one should be able to see the dark cuts and bruises from the necklace.
I used concealer to cover the hickies and bruises as much as possible, but if someone gets too close they still might be able to notice the discoloration from the rest of my skin. Feeling anxious about it, I wrapped a scarf around my neck as well, just to be safe.
Then I went into the bathroom again and searched the cabinet for two items, sitting them on the counter once I'd found them: over the counter pain medication and a thermometer. I took twice the recommended amount, desperate to rid myself of this god awful pain as quickly as possible, before pocketing the rest of the bottle and sticking the thermometer under my tongue.
My eyes bore into my own reflection as it measured my body's temperature and a subtle wave of distress came over me when I realized I look just as sick as I feel. The thermometer beeped, signaling it was done, and I took it out of my mouth to look at it and sighed. I do, indeed, have a fever. My mom always said that being stressed can make someone sick, I just never believed her until now.
After sanitizing it and placing it back in the cabinet, I turned to leave the room, only to freeze in horror when I saw that stupid fucking necklace laying on top of a towel on the counter. Gaara must've found it. The door behind me opened, the one leading to the man in question's room, and I swiftly snatched up the cursed item before hurrying into my room and shutting the door loudly behind me.
"Sakura?"
My hand formed a fist over the necklace as I stood with my back to the closed bathroom door. I shouldn't have reacted like that. Now he's definitely going to think something's up. "Sorry, I just realized my shirt has a rip on the front of it. I didn't want you to see!" I lied through my teeth. There's no way he actually believed such a thin lie, but he at least pretended to and I heard the shower turn on.
The pain between my legs throbbed wildly as I slid the damaged necklace under my pillow before leaving my room for the first time in over twenty four hours. I couldn't bring myself to eat yesterday and even now it feels like I'll throw up if I try to, but I forced myself to at least eat a piece of toast as I stood at the island with a mug of freshly brewed coffee.
It hurts to sit. My chin quivered as I thought about how damaged both my body and mind are because of someone like Sasori, who probably doesn't give a damn about any of it. I forced myself to get it together when I heard footsteps behind me, knowing it's Hinata before she even spoke by the pace and softness of the steps.
"Good morning! How was the trip?"
She walked into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee, humming lightly to herself with a small smile on her lips. Her hair was up in a high ponytail and her bangs were pinned to the side to stay out of her face. She wore some athletic leggings and a hoodie over what looked like a long sleeved shirt. It's obvious she's dressed for the entire day with our dance practice in mind. Hinata seems more chipper than usual, especially since she was so cut off and solemn prior to me leaving for my trip. I'm happy to see her perked up again.
With a calming breath, I plastered a smile on my lips before turning to return her greeting, "We went to Yuki no Kuni."
Lavender eyes widened in surprise and I know why. She's just as surprised as I was that Sasori took me to such a notorious couples' retreat. "O-Oh, I hear it's beautiful this time of year!"
I quickly responded, eager to keep up the facade that it wasn't the worst week of my entire life, "It is! It looked just like a painting."
Just by the bashful expression that suddenly rose to her face, I realized that she was about to ask the question I've been dreading, but luckily Sasuke came downstairs and she opted to save it for later.
"Morning."
My brow furrowed at the Uchiha man as he nudged Hinata to the side with his hip so he could get a cup of coffee from the machine she was standing in front of. She shot him a short annoyed look before quickly getting over it and leaning over the island counter and smiling into her mug.
Sasuke never greets anyone in the morning, even if we try to talk to him. He's almost as grumpy as me sometimes.
I glanced between the two of them for a moment, wondering if I may have missed something since they both were acting slightly off, but shook my head to myself after a moment. They're probably ready to get back to work after such a long break. Out of us all, those two spend more time on work than Gaara and I and it's not hard to guess why. They both come from famous families and want to be sure they earn their success themselves with hardwork and dedication so no one, not even themselves, can say they just got lucky.
"Are you feeling alright Sakura? You look a little pale."
Hinata's soft voice broke my trance and I nodded slowly, raising my mug to my lips, "I'm just tired is all," I realized now was a good time to start building my cover and quickly added, "and I think I pulled a muscle in my back while sleeping last night, so I'm a little sore."
Gaara's voice came from behind me and I turned to see him walk into the kitchen, Sasuke handing him a mug in silence before turning to pour himself another one. "Did you try stretching?" I nodded at him, hastily averting my eyes down to my coffee when his teal ones turned onto me. If I meet his gaze now, I'll burst into tears. I just know it.
Of course I've thought about him over the past two days, but I never imagined it'd feel so suffocating to have to face him after what happened. He was so upset with me when he found out I'd intended to give my virginity to some random guy at the club, so much so that he selflessly offered to do it himself just so I wouldn't get hurt. What will he do if he finds out how tragic my loss ended up being? What will he say?
The three across the counter began chatting about their Christmases and I chanced a glance up at him, heart fluttering at his handsome profile as he smiled at something Sasuke said. He can't ever find out or he'll be so disappointed in me.
When we arrived at the agency for our vocal lesson, I realized why the pain medicine recommended half the dose I took because my already dizzy head felt light as a cloud and fuzzy as can be when we began warming up and it finally kicked in. At least the ache in between my legs lessened substantially. All three of my bandmates took notice and I chose to be honest and told them I took some medication for my pulled muscle, apologizing for my ditsy behavior.
Throughout practice and lunch, Ino blew my phone up with texts and calls, saying she's sorry for how we fought and wanting to meet up and talk about our holidays. She was completely right about Sasori being a piece of shit and because of that, I'm not ready to face her yet. I should've listened to her and instead I argued and called her a bitch.
"Are you alright?"
Gaara's whispered question shook me from my thoughts and I turned my head to see him looking at me with concerned eyes as all of us stretched with Sai in the dance studio. Our instructor's at the head of the room, leading us, and the four of us were spaced out randomly. Gaara himself is about a yard away from me.
I opened my mouth to reassure him when a shock of pain ran up my insides, making me clamp my teeth together to stop myself from making a sound in reaction. The medicine's finally wearing off. I have the bottle in my bag, but we just started practice, so I'll just take two more during our first rest break. Gaara's brow furrowed and I shook my head, raising a dismissive hand before refocusing on my stretching and not waiting to see his response.
After going over a short recap of what we learned before our Christmas break, Sai began teaching us the next section of his choreography. Contrary to our normal set up, Sasuke and I are partnered up for this song, leaving Gaara and Hinata together. Any other time I'd be a bit disappointed that I don't get to selfishly be close to the redhead, but right now I'm just grateful. The further away he is, the less likely he is to pick up on even more things that are off with me at present.
Despite this, everytime Sasuke had to lay a finger on me or me on him, all part of the choreography, my body would tense up in an unconscious panic. He noticed, too, and gave me a few odd looks, but ultimately didn't say anything.
An hour or so into our practice, Sasuke unintentionally brushed his hand across my lower back and an icy fear shot energy through my limbs. A small sound left my lips, luckily masked by the loud music, as my body instinctively jerked away from the thing terrifying me. Sasuke reached out, obviously thinking I was falling and trying to catch me, but I dropped down to the ground in an instant because the sudden movement caused a wave of boiling hot pain to rock through my lower body, immobilizing me entirely as I doubled over with my arms crossed around my lower torso.
My chest feels tight and my breathing's short and panicked.
I can feel it, Sasori's weight holding my wrists down behind my back as he takes what he wants from me.
It hurts.
It burns.
The terror ringing through my ears muffled the sounds of my surroundings, so I didn't notice that the music had been turned off until Sasuke knelt down beside me, "You good?"
He cautiously touched my shoulder in what was obviously meant to be a comforting way, but it just set off my flight response and heightened my fear further, "D-Don't touch me!"
He looked completely shocked and rose to his feet with his hands up in front of him as the others in the room approached, "I didn't do anything, I swear."
Hinata's soft voice met my ears and my trembling stopped as my eyes shot open as I realized I wasn't still in that cabin. No, I'm in Konoha, in a dance studio, and I just freaked out on one of my friends in front of everyone and now they're all staring at me like I'm crazy. "H-Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
I nodded, the tears in my eyes overflowing as I shakily rose to my feet and pretended to hold my lower back as I wiped at them, "I'm so sorry, Sasuke. I don't know what came over me." The Uchiha man nodded with a hard expression on his handsome face, but I can tell he didn't actually believe me.
"Why don't we take a short break? Ten minutes, everyone."
I retrieved my water bottle with everyone else, taking some more medicine as planned and praying it kicks in quickly. Then, I stepped outside and crouched down against the wall with my head falling back against the wall and eyes closed as I tried to push back my humiliation. We haven't even gotten back to dancing yet and I can tell they're all already walking on eggshells around me. This is exactly what I didn't want, exactly why I haven't told anyone what happened.
Someone suddenly pressed my hair back out of my face and placed their hand against my forehead, making my eyes shoot open in terror as my hands snapped up to grab their wrists. Gaara's eyes widened for a moment before he leaned a bit closer to me so none of the trainees or employees passing in the hall would hear, "You have a fever. Why didn't you stay home?"
The intense fear in my limbs melted at the sincere care in his voice and my chin quivered as tears welled up once more in my eyes. I squeezed them shut and he let me pull his hands down to cup my face with my hold still on his wrists. I thought I'd never be able to enjoy someone's touch again. Even Sasuke scared the absolute hell out of me just minutes ago! Yet, somehow, the moment I realized it was Gaara, everything Iota of fear turned into relief.
He didn't say anything for a moment, but eventually had to, "Sakura, what happened?" My grip on his wrists tightened and I shook my head, eyes squeezing even more tightly closed.
After somehow calming down and convincing him not to tell anyone I'm sick, we went back inside and practice continued. Gaara's upset with me, that's a fact. He's not only irritated that I'm making myself work while sick, but he's undoubtedly hurt that I won't tell him why I'm acting so weird. Even if I have to tell everyone else in the world, he and my other friends can't ever find out or I'll never be able to look them in the eye again.
Once dance practice was complete and we were all collecting our belongings and preparing to leave, the door to the studio slammed open, making all of us jump in surprise. A blond ponytail and enraged baby blue eyes met my eyes and I sighed in defeat.
Ino stomped up to me with a manicured finger pointed at me accusingly, her stilettos clacking loudly against the floor with each step, "Why the hell are you ignoring me, Forehead?"
My attempt at acting confused was less than weak, "I've been in practice all day and haven't been able to check my phone."
Ino's eyes narrowed and she put her hands on her hips as she stood in front of me, "That's never stopped you before."
"Excuse me, but this is a closed practice."
The blond turned with an irritated expression, only for it to dissipate into a surprised one when she had to physically take a step back and arch her neck to look up at the very tall Sai's face. For a moment, she seemed stunned, but quickly recovered and waved a dismissive hand as she turned toward me again, "I have permission to be here, handsome."
Our choreographer reached up and grabbed the hand she was waving, making her face him again with wide eyes, "I suppose I just wanted an excuse to ask your name, then."
For the first time in my life, I watched in awe as Ino's face turned a soft pink. She didn't let the obvious blush hinder her and ripped her hand out of his grasp before facing me for a third time, "Ino. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm having a conversation right now."
Ino Yamanaka isn't easily dealt with when she has a goal in mind. That being said, her blatant way of turning down his advances, at least for now, seemed to do little to make Sai lose interest. He relented and flexed his hand by his side with a small grin as he returned to gathering his items, obviously smitten with her confidence and beauty.
"I'm coming over and I'm not taking no for an answer so what do you want to eat?"
Just one look at the gorgeous model's stubborn face told me she means it. She even has a spare key to our house so there's no escaping her. I glanced at Hinata, who shrugged, before sighing in defeat again, "Chinese food."
Within a snap of the fingers, Ino's glare disappeared and was replaced by an eager grin as she turned and headed toward the exit, shooting a wink at Sai as she walked, "See you in a bit!"
Sasuke snickered and I heard him tease Sai, "You really didn't know her name?"
"Look at her. I panicked, dude."
I rolled my eyes and hoisted my bag onto my shoulder as I mentally tried to make up some sort of story about how my trip went so I can convince Ino and Hinata that everything's fine. I may never be able to tell them the truth, but if I do, this story needs to be good enough to settle them over until that time comes.
When Ino let herself into the house roughly an hour later, both boys tried to join us in my bedroom, likely in hopes to score some free food, but the blond chased them away. Gaara went down into the basement to work on whatever instrument he's teaching himself to play these days and who knows where Sasuke went.
After settling in and beginning to eat, Ino got right to the point, "So, spill the tea. What happened? Did you do it?"
My heartbeat sped up for two reasons. One: the fact that we're back to being normal after fighting a week ago makes me so happy and Two: talking about what happened is, obviously, super uncomfortable.
I swallowed my mouthful of noodles and heaved a big sigh before nodding, "Yes, we did it." Hinata's face immediately turned a bright red, but Ino's just fell flat as she waited for me to continue. "I…I don't want to go into detail, but we did it. That's all I'm saying." My attempts to come up with a believable story dissipated the moment she asked.
The blond sat her takeout box on the floor a foot or so away with a look of utter disbelief, "That's all we get? I told you every detail about how I lost my virginity!" Hinata made a panicked and bashful expression, motioning with her hands to quiet down so the boys don't overhear, but Ino ignored her and gave me an expecting expression.
I pointed at her with my chopsticks, "You made me listen. I didn't ask for any of it."
She shrugged, "Who cares? That's what friends do!"
She and I had a staring contest as she wordlessly tried to intimidate me to give up the details. After a few moments, she groaned loudly in defeat, slapping the carpet on either side of her body in a small tantrum, "Ugh, will you at least tell us if it was good? Does Sasori have a big dick?"
I froze, glancing over to see that even the shy little Hinata seemed curious, at least about the first question. Tears rose swiftly in my eyes before I could stop them, causing both Ino and Hinata to sober up.
"Sakura…what's wrong, babe?" I searched Ino's face through my tears. She'll know what to do, right? I don't have to tell her everything, just enough to get some advice. She won't judge me, I think.
I sat my box down and finally let the tears fall as I somewhat came clean, "I..I-I didn't like it."
Both girls were dead silent for a moment before Ino maneuvered herself onto her knees so she could lean over and rest a hand on my shoulder, speaking with a much softer and reassuring voice than before, "Hey, that's alright. Everyone's first time is different. There's no reason to be ashamed or anything." I nodded at her, already feeling a bit better to hear her trying to comfort me, wiping at my eyes with a frown.
Hinata nervously spoke as though she was worried someone would overhear our conversation, "D-Did it hurt…or something?"
I nodded, "It hurt a lot. I-It still does."
Ino's grip on my shoulder tightened as her eyes widened, "You're in pain, like, right now? How long has it been since you had sex?"
My bandmate's spine straightened and she gasped, "You didn't pull a muscle!"
I shook my head, "About four days. I'm sorry for lying, I'm just so embarrassed!"
Ino wordlessly got to her feet to start putting her shoes back on and motioned for Hinata to follow suit. I kept wiping at my tears, "W-What're you doing?"
She motioned for me to get up, tossing my shoes near where I was sitting, "We're going to the hospital, obviously. What if you tore something?"
My face immediately felt hot and I shook my head frantically, "But-"
"No buts! I don't care if you want us to sit in the car and keep it a secret from everyone, but we're fucking going, Sakura. Get ready to go right now." When I looked at Hinata, she nodded with an expression just as firm as Ino's, leaving me no choice but to obey.
After hours of waiting to be seen since it's so late, I was finally taken back and seen by a male doctor. The moment he asked me to roll up my sleeve so he could take my blood pressure and saw the dark bruise and nail-shaped cuts around my wrist, he excused himself and sent in a female doctor in his stead.
I was crying by the time she arrived since it was obvious they knew what happened. "My name's Dr. Nobu. Don't be scared, honey, you're safe. Can you try and answer some questions for me?"
I nodded, wiping at my face with shaky hands. The doctor's an elderly woman with dark brown hair that's halfway through the process of turning gray and warm, chocolate colored eyes.
"First thing's first, I need to know if you want us to report this. It's completely up to you."
I stared down at my lap, finding it easier to speak if I don't have to meet her gaze, "I googled it and a rape kit won't help my case at this point. It's been more than three days and I've showered and stuff…"
The woman looked up from her clipboard and I instinctually raised my eyes to meet hers, "We have to document everything anyway, by law, and just because there isn't DNA evidence doesn't mean the bastard who did this to you is going to get away with it, Dear. There are other factors to consider."
I hesitated, unsure of what to do, "...Do I have to make a decision today?"
She shook her head, "If you'd like, I can make sure you get a copy of everything that's documented so if you want to use them in the future, you have them."
I nodded, "O-Okay, let's do that then."
The woman was completely understanding and took my vitals and measurements before finally getting to the part of the visit that I was dreading and requested for me to get undressed. "I'll step out so you'll be more comfortable. Please put on this paper gown so you're not out in the open," The woman moved to grab the door handle before stopping and turning to face me again, "And please wash the makeup off your neck, sweetheart. We need to be able to see the extent of your injuries."
My throat tightened as she left the room. Gingerly, I undressed, folding my clothes up neatly before pulling on the thin paper gown she gave me and grabbing a makeup wipe out of my purse to clean the concealer off my neck. I'll have to be super careful not to remove my scarf in front of Hinata and Ino on the way home or else they'll see the marks.
When the doctor returned, she spoke in a very calming voice, "Now, we do have to take photos of all injuries, but your face and personal areas will be blurred out so please don't panic. We have a specialist who takes these photos. Is it alright for her to come in now?" Goosebumps were dusting my entire body as my arms tightened around my middle, holding the gown closed, but I nodded.
She opened the door widely enough for a younger woman to step in, a very professional camera in her hands. The new arrival appeared to be in her mid twenties with pretty dark eyes and black hair, "My name's Kin. I'm very sorry that this happened to you, Sakura. I'll try my best to make sure you're comfortable throughout this process." I nodded again, still unable to find any words to say.
Dr. Nobu spoke then, "There's no easy way to do this, so I'll just say it outright. Can you please remove the gown and stand so your injuries are visible to be documented?" My chest tightened as I tried to bite back a sob, but did as I was asked.
The rest of the doctor's visit was just as uncomfortable and traumatizing as I thought it'd be, but it was finally deduced that the damage that'd been done wasn't as bad as I feared. It was deduced that I have a severely bruised cervix and some minor internal lacerations that should heal on their own so long as I refrain from sexual activity for the next six weeks or so, which is very much not an issue for me.
Dr. Nobu asked if I'd like to describe my attacker for her report, but I just couldn't do it. If I do, that'd mean all of this is real and it really happened. Once the finger gets pointed, there will be no going back. She said I don't have to tell her, anyway, so I can always change my mind later.
The kind doctor prescribed some strong painkillers and seriously recommended visiting a therapist one or more times a week for at least the next couple months. She and Kin received my contact information and said all the documentation they did would be copied and mailed to me within the next week.
After filling the prescription, Ino drove Hinata and I home. She stayed for a bit to make sure I was alright before leaving since she has to be up early for work in the morning. Hinata offered to stay with me in my room for the night, but I politely told her I wanted to be alone for a bit, which she respected by going upstairs.
The moment I was alone, I let the tears flow. Even if all those hospital employees are bound by law not to leak private information, I can't help but worry someone will have loose lips and then the entire world will know that I was assaulted. All it takes is one person looking to make some cash to ruin my career.
My phone vibrated and I rolled over to see it was a text from the monster that caused all of this to begin with. "You up?"
If I leave him on read and ghost him, he's likely to somehow retaliate so I have no choice but to respond, "About to go to sleep."
Sasori replied instantly, "Can I come over?"
"No."
I responded so quickly, it probably surprised him and the typing-bubble showed for a long time before he texted back, "I miss you already, babe. Want to go to a party this weekend?"
The mere suggestion of seeing his calm face makes me want to throw up, but I didn't dare turn down his request. Instead, I decided I'll do it then. I'll dump Sasori at that party. "Sure. See you then. Goodnight." If he replied, I ignored it and put my phone on silent so I could roll over and try to sleep.
At the time of my temperature being checked at the hospital, I still had a small fever, so I need to rest as much as possible to get rid of it. My mind keeps wandering to that party and how I'm going to say the words "let's break up" to Sasori when I can't even picture his face in my head without panicking. Maybe I should bring someone with me in case things take a turn for the worst and he tries to hurt me again or refuses to let me leave.
I shook my head with a frown, sinking more deeply into my bed. If I ask someone to come along, they're likely to ask why I want to break up with him in the first place, leaving things open for interpretation.
The only person who might understand and not demand to get personally involved is Hinata, but she very much hates parties that aren't at our own or one of our friends' houses and she especially doesn't like going without Gaara and Sasuke. Hell, I can't blame her. Even I feel much safer when they're around in a setting like that. No matter what happens, those two will never let anything bad happen to us. That's not an option this time around.
This is one hurdle the boys can't help me overcome.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein