Kapitel 35: Chapter 35-Christmas Part 1 of 4
-Hinata's POV-
After such a dramatic Halloween, the four of us threw ourselves at our work. Before we knew it, a month and a half had passed. The music for our second album was completely written and recorded, way ahead of schedule, by the end of the first week of December.
I was surprised by Kakashi and Tenten's decision not to let us hear one another's solo songs until the album is released to the public. It also made me a bit jittery and nervous. I put my heart and soul into that song. If, for some reason, my feelings don't shine through to my three bandmates, I'm not sure what I'll do. All I know for sure is I'll be broken-hearted and discouraged.
Smack in the middle of November, Akatsuki finally made their big debut and proved to be even more popular with the ladies than anticipated. Since each of its members have jarringly different personalities and appearances, it's not hard to see why. There's something for everyone to love. Deidara and Yahiko are proving to be the more popular of the two, but Hidan and Kisame still have their fair share of crazy fans.
After admitting to me that she suspects him of cheating, Sakura fought with Sasori more than ever, but still hasn't dumped him. According to her, she wants to try and make things work until she's one hundred percent certain of his disloyalty.
She mentioned to me one night while we were preparing dinner that she thinks she might be ready to go all the way with him and that it may be what they need to get over this argumentative hump. I love her and support her, but I couldn't stop myself from cautiously telling her I don't think you should have sex to fix something. She didn't get offended, but also didn't heed my opinion.
To all of our surprise, especially hers, Sasori invited her on a couple's get-a-way trip the week of Christmas. After accepting, she confided in Ino and I that she plans to do it then. My only hope is that all of the bad things we've thought about him have been misunderstandings and he doesn't take advantage of her naivety.
Speaking of Christmas, everyone except me has plans.
Gaara's going to go home for the week to spend time with his siblings. Sasuke's family throws an annual holiday party that all the big business names attend and the Uchiha man himself is expected to be there for its entirety.
Up until this year, I've gone to it myself every year without fail, but after leaving home in the manner I had, it's unspoken that my invitation has been withdrawn. Again, it makes me wonder how Sasuke and I haven't ever met before signing with the agency. There have been dozens of close encounters over the years, undoubtedly. Maybe we did meet sometime in the past and it was either too brief or too long ago for either of us to remember. Either way, I won't be attending the holiday party with or without him so it doesn't matter.
The closer Christmas comes, the more depressed and anxious I feel. Not only will I be spending arguably the biggest holiday of the year alone in a big empty house, but my birthday is just two days after it and I'll be alone for that, too.
It's not like I've ever had a birthday party with friends and family to support me and wish me well, but I've never spent the entire day completely alone. Neji and Hanabi usually take me out to dinner or something, at the least. The maids would prepare a cake for me as well. This year I won't even have that. I don't want to worry my bandmates or have them feel obligated to cut their holidays short for my sake, so I've just kept quiet about it all and avoid the topic of Christmas plans when it arises.
With no audio recording needing done, Prestige has been spending most of their time practicing with Tsunade to keep our dance skills honed. To all of our surprise, the woman announced that Evolution would be bringing in an outside choreographer for the entirety of our second album, but refused to spill the beans on who it'll be. She did, though, hint that they're very famous and sought after, which threw both Gaara and Sakura into the deep end trying to figure out their identity.
"Let's call it a day, everyone. Rest up well tonight because I'll be introducing your new choreographer tomorrow." Tsunade motioned for us to relax as she clicked the loud sound system off.
I wiped the sweat from my brow with the towel around my shoulders as I walked toward the side of the room to retrieve my water bottle and backpack. My bangs have grown longer again, so I've taken to pinning them to the side whenever I put it up so they won't get in my eyes. Until our album releases, we don't have any public appearances scheduled, so I don't feel the need to hurry and get a haircut. We don't have any interviews, red carpet events, or performances until the first week of January.
"Who do you think it is? I'm so excited!" Sakura was practically vibrating with energy as she grabbed one of Gaara's hands and bounced up and down while he drank from his water bottle and let her. It's a mystery how she always has so much energy left after Tsunade's grueling practices.
The redhead gave her a smile when he was done, "I hope it's Asuma."
Sakura's grin widened further, "Or Kurenai!"
I tripped over someone's bag and just barely managed not to fall on my face, making Sasuke snicker, "Whoever it is, Hyuuga's bound to embarrass us."
I glared at him, "Hey, I'm not that bad anymore."
He smirked as he opened the door to exit the room, holding it for the rest of us, "You can't even walk without falling over your own feet."
Sakura pointed at him with a playful glare, "Back off or I'll sick her fanboys on you!"
My face heated up at the mention of fanboys. It's true every single one of us has a group of fans that support us specifically more than the rest of the group, but I don't think I'll ever get used to it. I still struggle to control my nerves when I get approached out in the wild by more than one person at a time. One of my bandmates usually ends up saving me if we're not with any security from the agency.
Gaara's a bit better than me at handling it, but not quite so much as Sakura and Sasuke. Those two have adjusted so well to being celebrities that it still sometimes takes me off guard how naturally they command the public.
Out of us all, Sasuke is the most popular with fans. It doesn't surprise anyone, either. His stage persona, not to mention his flawless looks, are hard not to fawn over. If I wasn't part of his group, I think I'd like him, too. I'd be a fan of his voice, though, not just his looks. To this day, his talent leaves me in awe. One of these days I'm going to gather the courage to tell him how impressed I am, but every time I think I'm about to, he'll do or say something obnoxious and I'll bite back my compliments.
Sasuke feigned fear and put his hands up as though someone was pointing a weapon at him as we all pulled on our winter gear near the front doors of the agency, "Oh no, not the simp brigade!"
I shot him a dirty look as we walked as a group to the parking lot, ignoring the flashing cameras of the paparazzi. The man shot me a wink before pulling on his sunglasses and slinking down into his car, "Later!" Gaara gave Sakura and I one of his adorable smiles and a wave before joining him and then the two drove away.
The two of us quickly got into Sakura's pre-heated car and shared a knowing look. It's the coldest day of the year so far and both of the boys seemed completely unaffected. We, however, have been struggling all day to stay warm. Layers of clothing and the maxed out heater in the cherry-red prius somehow did little to rid us of our shivers.
Sakura placed her gloved, frost-bitten hands close to the vent so the hot air would warm them more quickly, "I'm so tired of this shit! I can't wait till summer!"
I mirrored the action with a small smile, "I don't know, I think winter's kind of pretty."
The woman gave me a look of disbelief before shaking her head and glaring out the window at the dreary sky, "If it's gonna be this cold, it could at least snow."
I followed her gaze and felt familiar negative feelings begin to arise in my chest as I remembered how lonely the coming week of vacation is going to be.
"Is something bothering you, Hinata? You've seemed a bit down the past few days."
I tore my gaze from the clouds and looked over to see Sakura was looking at me with a clear expression of concern. I shook my head with a reassuring smile, "I-I'm alright. I think I'm just coming down with something." It wasn't a complete lie. Maybe it was my poor attitude mixed with the winter weather and hard physical work Tsunade's dance camp puts us through, but my body was truly beginning to feel a bit under the weather.
She held my gaze for a moment with her frown deepening before nodding, "Well, get some rest then. We don't need our beautiful visual getting sick, do we?" She pinched my cheek, making me blush, before smiling and putting the car in reverse so we could leave.
"About earlier, though, you're right. You've been improving a lot lately! We can all tell how hard you've been working." I fiddled with my hands in my lap, blush warming further. Sakura seemed to find this amusing and teased me, "I think it's because you've gotten more comfortable being close to us, especially with Sasuke." She said his name in a flirty, sing-song voice.
I smacked her arm, "S-Sakura, shut up!"
She let out a Tenten-esk cackle as we drove back to the house.
For the remainder of the evening, all of us worked on things alone. Gaara, having pretty much caught up to me in terms of piano-playing skills, has begun teaching himself how to play the drums down in the studio. Sakura was packing for her trip with Sasori and then unpacking and packing again, then repeating the cycle. Who knows what Sasuke was doing, but I chose to clean my room.
The other three will be heading out for the holidays tomorrow night or Sunday and then we'll have the entire week off. Our album is scheduled to debut on Christmas Eve morning, a brilliant sales tactic if I do say so myself. The only thing that surprised me is the fact that we haven't recorded any music videos except for the ballads and haven't learned any choreography, but Kakashi's the professional and undoubtedly knows better than me so I just have to trust his judgment.
As I finished hanging up the last of my freshly washed and dried clothing, I noticed the corner of a book sticking out from a box I'd stored on top of my empty suitcases, on the shelf above the clothing rack. I reached up on my tippy-toes and pulled it out, curious as to what it could be, only for a wave of sadness similar to earlier to wash over me.
It's a photo album. It's the only non-clothing item that Neji managed to snag for me and I'd been too emotional when unpacking at the dorm to even open it so it's been hidden away since then. I completely forgot about it until now.
My body moved on its own and I softly sat with my back to my bed, legs crossed, and flipped it open. Page after page was filled with memories from my childhood, the happy portion of it in the first half of the book, when Mom was alive. When I flipped the page again, a pang of hurt shot through my chest. There was a single large photo on it. It's a photo of my mother sitting beside me as I blew the candles out on my birthday cake when I turned two. Her belly was swollen because she was pregnant with Hanabi at the time.
"You alright?"
I both verbally and physically jumped at Sasuke's casual way of terrifying me, "S-S-Sasuke!" My hands swiftly snapped the book shut and I sat it on the edge of my bed as I got to my feet and dusted off my pajamas as though they'd gotten dirty somehow, "I-I'm alright, sorry. You just scared me, that's all."
Deep, dark eyes searched my face in silence for a few moments before he pointed toward the door of my room with his thumb, "Sakura wants to do presents tonight since she's leaving tomorrow."
I put my hands on my cheeks in an attempt to prevent a blush from rising, "Oh! Let's go then." With all of the album preparations and holiday depression, I completely forgot that we'd all gotten one another gifts.
Sasuke continued to stare at me with an odd expression as I smoothed out my clothing once more and rubbed at my eyes just in case some tears remained, only for him to say in a much softer voice, "...You should wash your face or they're gonna be able to tell."
I froze with one of my eyes covered, giving him a panicked expression for a moment before dropping my hands to my sides and nodding. He waited for me to return from the bathroom and then we went downstairs together.
Sasuke's been getting better and better at reading me. It makes me happy because that means he cares enough to pay attention, but it also makes me anxious because it's almost impossible to hide something from him these days. I stared at the back of his head as we descended the steps and began to feel guilty. He saw me crying, which means he knows something's bothering me. My only hope is that he lets it go and doesn't pry. The last thing I want is to complain and ruin his holiday with my self-pity.
The comforting scent of nutmeg and cocoa distracted me from my anxious thought process. Sakura and Gaara were in the middle of sitting a tray of holiday cookies and mugs of hot chocolate on the coffee table. A warm feeling enveloped my heart and tears threatened to begin rising once more, but this time it's because of the unfamiliar aura of a happy family in our home.
Sakura noticed us as we approached and pointed at a pile of red, green, and white clothes folded up on the sofa, "We got matching pajamas. Go change!" The smile on my lips was impossible to hold back as I sorted through the clothing and handed Sasuke his before stepping into Sakura's room to change into mine, coming back out once I was done.
None of us have had the time to decorate the house much for the holiday, but we did have a massive tree in between Sakura and Gaara's bedroom doors. Ino and Sakura decorated it expertly two weeks ago, when it arrived and the blond model informed us she'd ordered it months ago and forgot about it.
Sasuke stepped out of Gaara's room a moment later and my face warmed at how cute and different he looked in the incredibly out-of-character clothing. I'm surprised he didn't argue with Sakura about wearing them.
The pink-haired woman yelled at us to join them in front of the tree for a group photo. After taking multiple so she'd have enough to choose from, Sasuke flopped onto the sofa with a loud sigh, stuffing a bite of gingerbread cookie into his mouth. Gaara, our resident sweettooth, seemed to be keeping his distance from the treats and sat near the tree. He seemed to have the intention of passing out the gifts. I sat on the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table as the sofa and allowed the warm aura of the room to cheer me up.
"Let's get to it. Gaara, go ahead!"
The redhead nodded and looked over the pile of vibrantly wrapped gifts under the festive tree to decide which one to pick up first. He picked up a bigger one and read the label before handing it to Sasuke.
Sakura squealed, "Ooh, that one's from me!"
The Uchiha man scoffed, "I can read, idiot."
She flipped him off, "You know what, give it back! You don't deserve a gift from me after all!"
He rolled his eyes before ripping the paper from the package and opening the box inside to reveal a very nice pair of dress shoes. Surprising us all, he allowed himself to reveal a small smile, "Thanks." Sakura got over her shock before Gaara and I could and grinned widely.
The next gift Gaara chose was the biggest box under the tree and I perked up when he handed it to Sakura. It's the one from me! She did an excited little dance and looked at me with a happy expression after reading the label, "From Hinata!" I returned her grin.
She opened it with haste and squealed once more as she began taking the multiple handbags from the box. Sasuke muttered complaints about how loud she was being, but she overrode them by coming over to hug me tightly, "How'd you know I like this brand? Thank you!"
They're all from Team Sarui's newest line. I overheard her gushing to Ino about them a month or two ago, when the blond gave her a peak at the line before it was released to stores since she's one of their models.
Gaara turned to search the pile of gifts for the next one, but Sakura made a noise at him, grabbing a smaller one from near the front, "Here, Gaara, open this one. It's from me!"
He accepted with no arguments and a slightly pink face, unwrapping it carefully to reveal a small jewelry box. Sasuke teased loudly, "Aw, are you finally proposing?" Both of them shot the Uchiha man a red-faced glare before Gaara returned to opening the box.
When he lifted the lid and peered inside, his cheeks quickly turned a red so dark it nearly matched his hair and he closed it before giving Sakura the most adorable smile I've ever seen on his face, "T-Thank you." She was blushing as well, but nodded with a teasing grin.
Curiosity got the best of me, "What is it?"
Prestige's youngest member shook his head and bashfully looked at the box as he sat it on the floor near where he was sitting, "I'd rather not…" That only made me want to know more, but I didn't pry and simply looked between the two of them as they suddenly seemed to find it hard to meet one another's eye.
Not wanting things to get awkward, Gaara handed me a smaller box and I opened it with my mouth in a firm line. It was from him. It was a beautiful pair of white gold and diamond earrings.
Honestly, it doesn't matter what it was. The fact that any of these people got me a gift at all was more than I could ever wish for. Growing up, my father would just get us the newest phones or something along those lines for the holiday, which doesn't mean much when we get them for free anyway.
It's not the fact that he didn't pay for them because if he'd given me something homemade, I would've treasured it. It's that he, to this day, has no idea what either of his childrens' interests are or what we'd possibly ever want for Christmas. The fact that my bandmates, my friends, went out of their way to either buy or make something just for me…it makes me so undeniably happy that it's hard to handle the emotions rising in my chest.
Tears rose in my eyes and I somehow managed to thank Gaara. Sakura came to hug me, "Aw, don't cry Hinata!" I shook my head and wiped at my eyes, motioning for the redhead to please continue so the attention wouldn't be on me anymore. He obliged and turned to choose the next gift. I stared down at the small box in my hands and took a deep breath in an attempt to keep it together.
Over the next fifteen minutes or so, Sasuke received one of the game systems that'd just come out from Gaara, Sakura received some fluffy red seat covers for her car from Sasuke and a pretty bracelet from Gaara, and the redhead received a few video games and dress shirts from Sasuke and a laptop from me. He's mentioned a few times over the past couple months that the one he has was getting old and slow.
I was stunned into a humiliated silence when Sakura handed me a large gift bag and I peered into it after removing the mountain of tissue paper to see it was full of sexy lingerie and undergarments. Thankfully, I'd checked before pulling anything out and had swiftly returned the tissue paper to the bag and yelled at her while trying not to faint. When the boys asked, I refused to tell them and Sakura simply grinned, proud of herself.
Then, all that remained was two gifts: the ones Sasuke and I had gotten for each other. Gaara handed him the one from me first and my heartbeat picked up. He was the hardest one to shop for because I wasn't sure if I should get him something personal and risk being teased for being sentimental or just go with something generic and hope he isn't offended. I opted for a mixture of the two.
He quietly unwrapped the small box and opened it before removing the item and turning it over in his hands, eyes widening slightly before turning onto me. I held my breath.
It was a watch, one of the popular and high-end ones, but I had the date of our debut and our group's name engraved on the underside of it. Cliche, but still personal.
"Thank you." The usually guarded expression on his face was sincere for just a fraction of a second, but it was enough to tell me that he likes it. The breath I was holding released and I smiled with a blush, "Y-You're welcome."
A box was placed in my lap, pulling my attention away from Sasuke, and I looked down at it nervously before picking it up and tearing the paper away from it. My lips tugged into a small smile when I opened the box to see it was a personalized phone case with a photo of the four of us hugging on stage at the end of our debut performance, streamers and lights surrounding us.
When I took it out of the box, a small piece of paper fell out from beneath it and my brow furrowed in confusion. I glanced at him and he seemed to be fighting not to laugh. Heat rose to my face and I slowly unfolded the note, not sure what to expect, only to freeze in surprise when I read the message on it. It read "I want to use my wish". When I looked at him with wide eyes and a bright red face, he finally lost his composure and leaned back on the sofa to laugh.
"What's it say, Hina?" I swiftly fumbled to refold the paper and hide it from Sakura, who'd come over to try and take a peek.
After cleaning up the mess we made in the family room, the four of us put our gifts away before doing what was becoming a tradition and making a giant pile of blankets and pillows on the floor so we could watch movies. We'll be apart for the longest amount of time since debuting and wordlessly agreed to spend the rest of the night in each other's presence.
Hours later, I snapped out of my half-awake daze when Sakura rolled over so her back was to me and reached up to rub my eyes as I yawned. Everyone else at least appeared to be asleep and I looked over at them as my eyes adjusted to the dark room. Gaara was in between Sakura and Sasuke. Both of them were cuddling against him, to my surprise and amusement.
I reached for my phone so I could snap a picture, but was distracted when I clicked the screen on and saw a notification for a text message from my little sister, Hanabi. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good because she hasn't reached out since before my debut. When I opened it, the happy and warm feeling caused by spending the evening with my friends disappeared and was replaced by the cold sensation of loneliness and hurt. The message was just informing me that my father asked her to warn me not to show my face at the Uchiha party and that he intends to announce my official disownment at said party.
My chest tightened and tossed the phone lightly onto the floor, not bothering to click it off or respond to Hanabi. A small part of me honestly hoped she'd sent a message wishing me an early happy birthday or merry Christmas, but no. All she wanted was to rub in my face, once again, that she's better than me.
Something wet dripped down onto my ear and I realized I was crying and the tears were running down the sides of my face into my hair. The realization only made me more upset and I quickly yet carefully slid out from under the covers and quietly climbed the steps so I could go into my bathroom where no one would be woken by my sniffling.
I didn't bother turning the lights on because Sasuke and I have a small nightlight on the counter that made it possible to maneuver around the room without turning the bright ceiling lights on. I sat with my back against the tub and wiped at my eyes every so often as I tried to keep my sobbing as quiet as possible.
It'd be nice if my hurt would evolve into anger at my family for ruining the festive mood I'd been in just minutes ago, but it wasn't happening. No, the only anger I'm feeling is toward myself for not being able to get it together and just ignore their attempts to bring me down.
When Hanabi sent me that text a few months ago when she saw a photo of me and Sasuke on the cover of a tabloid, I thought maybe she was happy for me and was going to keep in touch, but I was a fool for hoping that'd happen. It shouldn't surprise me anymore. She's a Hyuuga through and through and cares primarily for how others perceive her rather than how she makes someone she deems "less than" feel.
A presence suddenly appeared nearby and I turned to see Sasuke arrive in the doorway of the bathroom. We froze for a moment when our eyes met before I frantically turned my head away and wiped at my tears as I got to my feet and tried to reassure him before he could even ask, "I-I'm fine." I kept my head lowered as I tried to walk past him so I could go back downstairs where he wouldn't be able to ask me about it without risking waking the others, but he blocked my way.
"Hey," his voice was much softer than usual, only making it harder to stop crying.
I tried to get past him again, "Move, Sasuke."
It was silent for a long moment as he remained still and I kept my face downward so he couldn't see it, but he eventually responded, "Look at me."
My lungs slowly filled with a deep breath and I released it before gritting my teeth and forcing my tears to stop before wiping my cheeks once more and straightening my spine to lock my gaze hard onto his. Sasuke's face was blank, but not guarded as he searched my eyes. The longer we stared at one another, the more my resolve cracked until I couldn't keep it up anymore and turned slightly away to cover my face as I sobbed.
He knows me way too well. Right now is one of the times I wish that wasn't the case.
"Please g-go away, I'm alright."
Somehow I managed the words out, but he didn't say anything or oblige my request. Instead, he stood there in silence without moving as I made a fool of myself being a baby in front of him. After another couple moments, I felt him hesitantly rest a hand atop my head and looked up in surprise.
He looked uncomfortable and was frowning, but didn't make fun of me like I half-expected him to, "Let's go back to bed. Come on." My brow furrowed and my body jolted slightly when he suddenly moved to gently wipe away the tears on my cheeks.
Blush warmed my face and ears as I looked up at him, but somehow I managed to calm myself down enough to not be breathing harder than normal and nodded. He patted my head once more before lightly grabbing my hand and pulling me with him as we went downstairs.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein