Kapitel 3: 3

"Do you have to say this?" I asked, looking toward the floor. I could feel my eyes filling with tears, which were already making my heart feel apart.

"Ayla…" dad touched my shoulder, but is this even effective now? This is hurting me damn much, which is stopping my words from coming out. That's how much it is hurting me.

I stayed calm and went toward the car and sit inside. I didn't say a single word on my way. I don't know if Jace and dad worried about me or not, but I'm sure if I just open my eyes they are going to see my tears, which will only make me look like the weakest person. No, I don't want that.

While I was thinking about all this, I felt the car stop.

"Ayla, we reached", dad said while I came down.

"Ayla, listen to me", he said, bringing me toward him.

"Please promise me if something happened to you in school, come and tell me first. I will always listen to you, no matter what it is. No matter even if it is against you, got it?" he said while I nod and walked inside. I could feel the more I keep taking steps inside, the more I feel Jace walking after me as if he is guarding me.

"Now what?" I asked, turning toward him.

"What?"

"That's what I am asking. What? Why the hell are you following me? Did I ask you to?" I asked.

"No, but you told me yesterday, so I'm doing it so that you won't feel alone." He replied, making me feel more annoyed than I already was.

"That was yesterday. It's today, so go ahead to your class and have fun with your friends. I'm all ok alone. Did you get it?" I said while I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey girl", she said, reminding me of the girl I met yesterday named Freya.

"Oh, so you already have a friend? I was worried about nothing then. Have fun sister", he said and left ruffling my hair in front of her, showing how much he cares for me.

"Is he your brother?" she asked me while I kept looking at his back.

"Yes he is", I replied and walked toward my classroom.

"Hey, tell me about him", she asked.

I didn't listen.

"Hey Ayla, are you ignoring me? Did you forget I was the one who helped you on your way to class? Or did you forget I even let you be my desk mate? Why are you being so grumpy? Answer me", she kept asking me while I stayed silent.

Meanwhile, I again find them gossiping behind me.

"Hey Freya, what were you talking about with the new girl? It was so loud." Someone asked.

"You know, when I was coming I saw her brother from class 11th and he was drop-dead handsome as if I could faint just from seeing him for far." She kept narrating about him while I was all alone in a corner as if I didn't even exist.

"Is that so? Then why does she look so plain? Aren't they blood-related?" the other girl asked.

"Who knows? But seeing him, I could say they are not even close to being related." I clenched my heart.

I again feel so suffocated. My tears came out when I loosened my tie and it wasn't helping. I don't know how they could just say these things so easily. Is it so easy? We are not blood-related? Is it? I don't know, but the moment I was born, I kept seeing him as my brother. Then how could they say things so easily without caring about anything? Am I invisible?

I don't know, but my eyes again kept getting blurry. I couldn't see a single fucking thing anymore. I don't know what was happening outside of me, but I could feel some chaos going on around me. I could feel my body kept shaking as if someone running holding me in his arm, but this is completely impossible. Who would even care about someone like me?

I do not know how long I have been sleeping, but the moment I opened my eyes, I find myself in an unfamiliar place. I looked up and the ceiling was high and painted in white colour.

"Hello"

"Anyone here?"

"Can you hear me?" I called out while I felt someone yawning from the side bed.

"Could you please shut your mouth for a little?" he said, attracting my attention.

I couldn't see his face because of the curtain placed between the two beds, but from the voice, I realized it was a boy.

"Umm, what place is it?" I asked in a low voice, trying not to annoy him any much.

"This is an infirmary." He replied while making his hair.

"And how did I end up here?" I asked.

"I don't know, but when I was sleeping, I heard noises and when I tried to see I saw a boy came caring for you as you were unconscious." He sounded annoyed.

"Carry me?" I asked in a shocked voice.

"Or do you think I'm lying?" he replied to me in the same voice.

"No, but it sounds unbelievable to me. As I don't see anyone care for me." I smiled.

As soon as he removed the curtain, making his face was visible to me. He has lips piercing while has a cool side the way he dressed up which looks so gorgeous on him.

"Hey daydreamer, do you think people only help if they care? If yes, then please come down to earth. Sometimes people help just to not have guilt in the future. Did you get it?" he asked while I kept looking at him.

"Did you get it?" he flicked on my forehead.

"Ahh, yes", I said with a bright smile.

I don't know who he is. I don't know how I ended up talking with this guy, but talking with him made me feel out of the world. He is so cosy, which could be no less than the warmth people say family gives.

While I was thinking, he got out of bed and was about to leave when I held his hand.

"Now what?" he asked in the same annoyed tone.

"Can I have your name?" I asked.

"No need to know when we will not meet any further." He said and left, leaving me all alone in the infirmary.

This must be the first-ever incident in these two days where I feel loved. He was annoyed, but he didn't sound annoyed with me. He explained to me without knowing a single thing about me, but when I remember what happened, I can feel it first. They treat me like a newcomer fool who doesn't know anything and today my brother was more prioritized in my class than me.

I was completely lost in myself. I could feel it was the same as yesterday, but something is different in the air. I'm all alone, but I am still not alone. The air was whispering in my ear as it changed its pace. There was no one beside me. Is it something I can say about my first love? Is it a progression in my teenage? Is it?

I still remember how he got up from his sleep and shouted in his annoyed tone as if it kept replying in front of my eyes like a video player and I kept watching again and again without worrying.

"Ayla, you feel better?" the nurse came to ask.

"Yeah, I am all good", I replied with a smile.

"That's good, the doctor said. If you lessen your stress a bit, you won't have any issues." She said while I was smiling and looking toward her.

"I see your complexion has already got better than before. Did something happen?" she asked while I again only kept smiling toward her, leaving her all clueless.

"By the way, nurse, could you tell me who was the other person who used the bed beside me?" I asked out of my curiosity.

"Oh James", she stopped.

"Wait a minute, did you talk to him?" she asked while I nodded.

"Really?" she sounds shocked.

"What happened?" I asked.

"He usually comes here skipping class and sleep but when other students come and make noises he hates it. So it is shocking for me to know he talked with you. Did he say anything bad to you?" she asked.

I shake my head as no.

"It's new. He is quite famous for being a bad boy, so no one bothers to talk to him and he never talks. But if he did, then it's good. I hope he won't leave alone after this, too." She smiled, expressing her feelings toward the person.

"So, are we the same?" I asked without knowing.

"What?" she asked.

"Ah, nothing I", I said and ran toward my classroom while I kept smiling. This feeling is the best. This is something I kept wanting to hold on to. It's the best.

James, my first love.