Kapitel 32: 2.1

[Warning: Suicide, Gore, Death]

Wet droplets fell onto my cheek, tickling my skin. Wasn't I dead? I tried to move my hand to wipe away the tears but found my body cold, limp, and unresponsive. So I was dead?

"You need to let her go, Will, she'll turn soon," an unfamiliar masculine voice spoke in English with a Spanish accent.

This was not Zhiyue's body.

My body shook in the sobbing man's arms until eventually I was set onto a cold, smooth floor.

"System what is going on?"

Why weren't we in the void?

System did not reply.

My heart ached as it beat erratically in my chest, threatening to burst through my ribcage. Everything was gone. Everyone was gone. I was alone again. What was the point?

Just when I'd cleared things up, just when I was starting to understand and make sense of the emotions I had felt for that man...

No, snap out of it. I needed to focus. I needed to get through this to figure everything out.

Shouldn't I have an influx of memories in a new body? Why was it not cooperating again?

When I concentrated hard enough images flashed in my mind.

Pale hands trembling as they broke apart a shaving razor, pulling out the blade, uncaring at the way it cut into their fingertips.

Cold water surrounded me, but except for my feet, my body was fully clothed. I was still a female, but my body was so different compared to before.

I wanted to stop the trembling right hand from reaching my left wrist but it was futile, I could only endure as helplessly watched the blade slicing deep into the skin.

My head rang, sounds of people speaking broke through the distorted buzz. Adrenaline powered through my veins as my chest burned, taking a deep inhale of breath I rolled to the right sensing danger.

My eyes snapped open at the sound of a gunshot, staring wide at the hole in the floor where my new head had just been.

Chest heaving with each breath I slowly pulled my stiff and sore limbs to force myself to stand, feeling my body slowly warming up with the movement.

I was alive, wasn't I?

Waking up before as Zhiyue had felt so much different as if waking from a quick nap, this time I truly felt like death. Only my beating heart pounding away in my chest reminded me I wasn't.

"Fuck," a female voice cursed.

Gathering my wits together I glanced toward the source of the noise and the gunshot. Three very frightened faces looked at me from the bathroom door, the female was pointing the gun in my direction.

To my right, a well-built muscular man, much taller than what I was used to, leaned against the sink counter. Wide, hazel-green eyes stared at me in disbelief.

Flashes of memories burst through, he was this body's big brother. "Will," my voice was croaky and unfamiliar to me, but it was now the only one I had.

"S-she's alive," the guy with the accent raised his hand to push the woman's hand holding the gun downwards, then walked towards me.

Agitated and on edge I backed up in fear, almost tripping over the edge of the shower tray, until I hit the tiled wall, standing under a dripping shower head.

"Hannah?" the crying brute called out, stumbling swiftly forward, blocking the other three from my view and me from theirs.

I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself trying to find warmth. The plain black top and leggings were still soaking wet and clinging to my new, tall, and curvaceous frame. My bust in particular stood out too much, making me feel very insecure.

"W-what happened?" My voice stuttered as I shivered.

Though I could recall who he was and the fact that Hannah had killed herself, the other three faces were unfamiliar to Hannah. They all wore tactical gear and had guns. I could vaguely recall that Will was a soldier, special forces, and that Hannah came from a military family.

"Vic, go and grab some of Iris' clothes," Will ordered hoarsely before pulling me out of the shower and lifting me into a princess carry. I clung to him tightly.

The soldiers moved, clearing a path as he carried me out of the bathroom into a large bedroom.

Beside the bed a bedsheet covered a body-shaped lump, then as he walked out the door I noticed another body-shaped lump under another bedsheet beside the doorway.

Just what had happened to Hannah before she died? Was she responsible for the bodies lying there? I shuddered at the thought.

Will carried me down the stairs to a spacious living room, where he placed me gently onto the cream sofa. I felt self-conscious about dirtying such a luxurious and pristine-looking room.

He grabbed a blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around me, almost smothering me. Once satisfied I was covered, he crouched onto the floor before me, running his hands up and down my arms trying to warm me up. Still, my lip quivered with each breath, struggling to feel warm.

"Will," I called out, uneasy at how vacant his eyes looked and how mechanically he moved, "what happened?"

The two men entered the room, talking in hushed voices.

"Have you hit your head?" Will asked, moving to steady my face and look intensely into my eyes. "Can you not remember?"

I bit my lip, whilst closing my eyes, trying to drown out everything but the fragments of memory. The image of a dead, naked newborn cradled in bloodied hands snapped me out of it. I pushed Will away curling myself into a ball with the blanket.

"Hannah?" Will gingerly lowered his hand to touch my shoulders, "what is it?"

My hand moved under the blanket to rest on the base of my mostly flat stomach, "the child?" For some reason, I needed to know it wasn't mine.

His hand fell away as he collapsed to his knees, half leaning forwards onto me. Eventually, both hands gripped me tightly as he shook silently crying. I'd never seen someone fall apart like this. I felt helpless, unable to move under his crushing weight.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the woman swiftly come down the stairs, two steps at a time, she glanced at the two men scornfully before coming to my aide.

She nodded her head, urging the men to do something.

One of the men, who looked very similar to the woman, stepped forward to rest a hand on Will's shoulder, "come on man, let her get out those wet clothes."

Despite his smaller frame, he lifted Will's bulky one up and with the help of the other man took him out of the room.

Without my new brother's large presence, I felt vulnerable and exposed to the stranger standing who stood holding a bundle of clothing.

Just like the man I assumed she was related to, she had short blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and tanned skin. Though she was a few inches shorter than him, closer to my new height.

I searched the fragments of memory for her, and finding nothing I gave up and asked, "who are you?" I hoped she understood me as my teeth chattered between each word.

"Victoria, or Vic, I've known your brother for two years now since he joined the team," her accent was unfamiliar to me and heavy. It sounded American. Is that where we were?

She tossed the bundle of clothing onto the sofa holding only a towel and began to dry the tangled auburn hair that was too long.

They must all be soldiers, like William. Leaving her to fuss I found the memories I was looking for and slowly pieced them together.

In the early morning of new years day, a meteorite landed in Arizona. William had been instantly deployed, later on, the same day there had supposedly been a failure at the powerplant near the town, causing an explosion and the entire area had been quarantined.

William's team had been at ground zero of the explosion according to the news, having tried to prevent it. They were reported dead and considered national heroes.

I shook, remembering the despair Hannah had felt when she saw the soldiers standing at the door.

Seeing Victoria had stopped, frowning at the towels that were now stained in blood. She leaned over to reach my wrists, examining the milky white skin that was stained pink by blood. Yet there was not a wound in sight. What was she thinking?

"System, please tell me you're here?" I whined internally, feeling lost without its annoying voice echoing useless information in the background.

Still, there was no reply.

"Did you get a fever at all lately?" she asked, eyeing me suspiciously. System, where were you?

I shook my head, though I honestly did not know. I noticed a bottle of water amongst the bundle of clothing.

"Are you thirsty?" she asked, picking it up and passing it to me without waiting on a reply.

I guzzled the entire contents unashamedly trying to quench the burning ache in my throat.

"Thanks," I replied, my voice sounding so much smoother.

"There's still hot water in the tank, I think it's best we get you washed up before dressing up, that ok?" She asked, but again it wasn't a question. She lifted the bundle of clothes, leaving the blood-stained towels unceremoniously on the floor.

I followed her to a downstairs bedroom with an ensuite. The house was well-furnished and large. I recalled it was actually Ivy's house, Will had married up in life. Though Ivy had been just a reporter, she came from an upper-class family, her father a businessman and politician.

Victoria cared little for my modesty as she helped peel off the clothes leaving me standing bare in my underwear, exposing the pink-stained skin.

How long had Hannah been bathing in her own blood? How on Earth had I gotten this body working again after it lost so much blood?

I flinched at the sound of the shower blasting behind me, "get in and I'll sort you some new towels." She stopped at the door a moment, "be sure to get every tiny bit of blood from you, you'll be like a beacon once we're outside like that."

I nodded, taking off my underwear once the door firmly shut closed, kicking them aside. I took a moment to appreciate the sensation of hot water hitting my skin.

Leaning forward, hands on the cold tile I tried to gather my strength, feeling empty and lost without System as my compass. Had I lost it for good?

Shaking away the negative thoughts I picked up the shampoo bottle, looking at the English words written across the label. I'd grown so used to life in China, could I adapt now I was oceans apart? No, I wasn't oceans apart, I was worlds apart. This should be a whole new dimension.

My heart sank at the thought. I'd left them behind the moment I chose Meilin and her unborn child over my own life. I recalled the look in Meilin's eyes as I pinned her to the floor. The regret and fear.

Both men had been so close, yet neither had a chance to say goodbye before I'd left. Were they still there now, or in the void searching for me? Did they save Meilin in the end, did she have her baby?

The image of the dead newborn attacked my mind, why was he dead? The woman under the sheet was Ivy, his mother, Will's wife. Who was the other body? Was any of this blood I was scrubbing away theirs?

Breathless I clutched my aching chest, trying to hold myself together as I collapsed to my knees, unable to even react to the pain as my knees hit the hard tile floor.

"Hannah," Victoria called out, I hadn't even heard her come back in.

I raised my hand to stop her from coming closer.

"Give me a min, just, just memories," tears threatened to fall with the words as I slowly realised that this was the new reality I was stuck in now. There was no going back. My life as Zhiyue had ended. I was Hannah now.

Satisfied that my skin was only now pink from how hard I'd scrubbed it I turned off the shower and wrapped myself in the large bath sheet Victoria passed to me.

"Did you make it here alone?" Victoria asked once I was dressed in Ivy's clothes. A pair of joggers and a baggy maternity top. Considering she'd been heavily pregnant I guessed I was lucky she still had some old joggers lying around. I felt vulnerable without underwear underneath.

"I-I don't know," I answered honestly, trying hard to search the fragments for the journey here. Why had she worded it like that? Just what was going on in this new world?

Why were my brother and his team still alive? What had happened with the meteorite, the explosion?

That familiar sharp pain hit my temple as I stumbled forwards, gripping Victoria's sturdy arm.

"Are you okay Hannah?" she asked, one hand stroking my back, "should I get Will?"

It all made sense now. I shook my head, tears now streaming down my cheeks. Dead. Everyone was dead. Then they weren't. Zombies, fucking zombies.