Folding my arms across my chest, I tell her, "Sweetheart, you may not remember this, but when you were high one night, you literally spat out the fish in your hand, threw them in the sink, and ran water on them so they could go back to the ocean. I haven't forgotten about that and I don't think I ever will. You murdered Phish Food. And then, you started eating only the fish, literally going around everything else. So I printed the Phish Food label sticker and put it over another flavor. The last pints didn't have any fish at all. I'm surprised you didn't notice they weren't the same flavor."
Riri's jaw drops to the floor as she looks at me like she couldn't believe I did all that. While she's speechless, I take a bite of the dollop in her spoon, lean back, and wink at her.