Kapitel 108: The ride home
*Gata* *Gata* *Gata*
"The next stop is Y station. The next stop is Y station. Dear passengers, please move to your nearest exits..."
I was used to the sound of the sky train running on tracks. Its preprogrammed, cold, and metallic announcements and warnings, coupled with the intelligible murmurs from shadow people, had never changed throughout all the previous iterations. Although that voice was feminine, it still could not erase the mechanical sense in each word.
From the station where I entered to where I got down, there was no other stop. Strangely enough, it had always been two stops: H High, where we departed, and Y station, the place close to my Mother's house. There was nothing in between those two. In fact, while there should be many trains running on the same track for efficiency, I doubt that would have been the case here.
Before yesterday, I never gave it a second thought as to why the long way from my Mother's house to school has no other stations. But now I do. As one of the main characters in this world, I had the privilege of having an entire train dedicated to me. To create a sense of immersion, Han, this eroge world's favorite child, had to do the classic train scene. It would not be wrong to say some of the erotic events with exhibitionism as the core theme start here, on the train. Since I wanted to degrade myself in the past, public shaming would not be out of bounds.
Reading enough disgusting stories and these thoughts would become mundane in one's mind, I supposed.
Living far from school, two hours away, to be exact, the train's rhythmic sound while traveling is something I have learned to accept after so long. A part of my daily routine is to watch the sky train curves whenever it reaches an angle or feel my body sway to one side because of centrifugal forces. As for the sky outside the carriage, everything is static without differences. Day in and out, the clouds never change their shapes. Each part of that sky is eternally decorated with the same colors and hues except for when it is turning darker, locked in a perpetual state.
It was uncomfortable at first, no doubt, but time has a support effect on one's psyche. I would dare say that people can get used to just about anything if they survive the ordeal. My survival before meeting my long-lost husband, albeit pathetic and unconventional if placed next to a human, proves this theory.
Of course, that familiarity with my surroundings may have been implanted into my brain by the system, creating an illusion that it happened time after time, and in reality, I have not used the sky train that much. That is a possibility that I can not disregard easily.
Yet, I no longer care whether or not the memories inside my head were fake. Whether I was human became irrelevant to the development and settings of this world. The concept of humanity is debatable throughout history, anyway. Be it manufactured by an unknown being or author, it was my past. I want to embrace them rather than deny them. That is my resolution. That is the person I want to become.
Becoming a liability and an emotional burden for C is what I hope to avoid the most. He deserves the best of me that I can offer.
*Gata* *Gata* *Gata*
Fortunately, my static, neverending world has changed. Compared to all the lonely times I had to go to school and return home, only to receive Mother's discipline, today is different. It is special. Although what awaited me at that house would be more depressing than anything I have encountered since birth, I could not help but feel solace.
The color of the carriage was the same, its metallic minimalistic chairs were the same, and the red handles above our heads were the same. The difference my heart felt was in the atmosphere.
Because there were people in the carriage now.
Real people, not the shadow ones. The shadow ones existed to fill in the blanks, thus making the place less like a ghost town, but they exuded nothing else. Unlike the aimless shadows, these people had hopes, dreams, and moments of despair like me.
It was difficult to explain using words, but it seemed my eyes were seeing signs of life as if a veil had been lifted.
The girl who wanted to become a chef, the girl who was brave, and the guy without eyes were all present. It was even better to know one of whom was my fated destiny. If only they could throw Han out of the window, it would have been perfect. Sadly, C would have had difficulties if Han had not been here. Without Han, we would all suffer because of it.
At this moment, warmth permeates the air. C's warmth.
An assertive, unique presence that transcended an inconceivable force that was known as time. Even when I had to face the greatest adversary of my life soon, having C here with me was already a tremendous help. Even when this route led straight to my most prominent fear, I felt supported.
This road that led to certain doom might be far from done. Worse, it might be arduous and taxing, gouging my heart out while laughing, disregarding my efforts like specks of dust. The jagged stones on said path might cut my feet until they no longer resemble human parts. Its various vines on each side might scratch me until my skin becomes unrecognizable, tearing into my flesh with ease. The cold blown while walking on it might turn the water in my breath into ice, suffocating me and destroying my lungs.
Yet, thanks to him, I would feel no pain. It was a sudden change, yet also a meaningful one.
Looking at that person, I knew I was no longer alone.
There would be a time when my shoulders shake, and C would hold it tight with both arms. At some point, blood would withdraw from my body entirely. They would also return to me when he stood close. Mother would bring my knees to the ground. C would lift them up. He might not face her directly, and I did not intend to let him do that. On the contrary, my dear husband would provide me the strength necessary to confront dread on my own.
He had done it before. He would do it again.
Perhaps I was not the only one in his embrace now and in the future. But my dear husband was my husband. I would want nothing but the best for him. As long as I was to be by his side, it mattered not. An exceptional being required exceptional treatment, simple as that.
"Whoa! Cool! This is the first time I'm boarding the sky train!" An enthusiastic voice cut my train of thought. "It's kinda weird thinking that I have lived in this city for so long but have never used the sky train for anything! You learn something new every day, huh!" The owner of that voice continued to press his face on the glass, looking outside the sky train.
It seemed Han was enjoying his journey more than I did. His eyes curiously captured every aspect of the train as if to create a stereo picture as a keepsake. In a way, that was to be expected. The view of this cursed place was already etched in my brain, but for him, it was merely the beginning.
[Well, I am glad you are enjoying the trip, Han Som. As for me, I surely do not appreciate this situation. At all! A little help would be greatly appreciated!]
"Girls... It's hard to breathe when you're surrounding me like this!"
[I know I would be monitored after what I did, but not to this extent!]
C screamed in his heart. I could hear the nervousness in his inner thoughts, which was adorable. The smile from Rachel confirmed she shared the same thinking as mine. As for Laura, well, she did not look happy. I did not expect her to after that lunch break, though.
Frankly, I felt bad for the class rep. While Laura was the first one to achieve her freedom, she had still not gotten a kiss from C. I wondered what kind of vision she would see when she unlocked that by kissing him.
"You know what? I kinda like this triangular formation! It's fun. We're like one happy family!" Glancing at each of us separately, Rachel bobbed her head. "Right, Reppy?"
"I told you already not to call me that." Replied the class representative. Her face was demonstrating frustration despite not showing any disparity in her voice. "And I don't think I can become family with my rivals, thank you."
"Aw... But we make such a good team, though?"
Laura sighed heavily: "That's just you."
While I was standing in front of C's face, the other two girls chose a side to cling on for their own. Thus, the so-called triangle was formed.
"Rather than a triangle, I consider this more of a pyramid!" C exclaimed.
"Because you want to be treated as a king?" The blond-haired girl smiled.
"No, not like that." C's head hung low. "I don't need you girls to treat me any better than right now."
[Because a pyramid houses a dead man, what else? And I am on thin ice here.]
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Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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