Kapitel 45: Interlude: The Lover (Part 2)
…
They had come to harm.
By happenstance, through a gap in knowledge, and a shift in circumstance, both of those who had taken my heart so fully were thrust into danger.
It had not been an outright attack aimed upon them, one which he already defended himself against, but a bludgeon that they were mere collateral against. An attack upon Orario, by an unknown force comprised of monsters, that sought to destroy it.
They would have been mere footnotes. Numbers upon paper. Ignominious expirations. Vaults of treasure yet filled, art yet completed, simply cast down at the side of rubbish and waste. Never reaching their full potential, never facing me, never lavishing me with their unceasing love or their lashing at me with incessant hatred.
Unacceptable.
Impermissible.
Insufferable.
Yet, even knowing that, acknowledging that, I could not help but be grateful for those who attempted to do so.
For the first time in centuries, the flame of indignation and hatred boiled within my breast. Umbrage against those who dared to raise their hand against my chosen. I'd wanted for violence for the sake of violence. Harm and massacre as an answer in the stead of coy, clever maneuvers. I wanted those who struck against Orario to be found and rendered infirm, mutilated, and crippled at my feet.
For striking against those who held my heart and soul in their hands, for endangering my venerated dream, I could only allow them to lose their lives at my own hands. To have them at my mercy, powerless, crippled, maimed, half-dead, and…
I steadied myself. Held myself. Patience is the finest of virtues. Efficacy and fruition went hand in hand. Though I could lose myself in the throes of righteous wrath, it would be unbecoming of me to tilt my hand so swiftly, especially after I interfered and gave weight to the budding alliance of Loki, Dionysus, Hestia, and Hecate.
He will undoubtedly charge forward, suspicious and paranoid, delaying himself and creating weaknesses to draw in enemies for an opportune strike. If I played my hand so early, even to aid him, I'd invite his wrath unprepared, unsharpened, and crude. It would not be anywhere near the moment that I wished for. The bliss that I yearned so completely for needed him to be dominant, mighty, and with my life completely and utterly in his hands. Such a delight could not occur with him so… insufficiently experienced.
For such an outcome, I'm more than willing to wait. The act of merely skulking and probing about warred against my compulsions. The danger they presented was immense. They were an inexcusable crucible that invited too many lethal outcomes. Yet, I reminded myself, that while changes and addendums are possible, complete and utter control is unreachable. To attempt to grasp everything is as impossible as loving everything.
Just as they would contrast one another with love and hatred, I knew that many times will come when release of control is necessary for the best outcome. The tantalizing mystery, the suspense of failure at the precipice of success, and the need to act when one could not… all of it was present when I bore witness to the chaos that encompassed Orario so fully mere days ago. I had hated my lack of information, nearly as enraged as I had been at the multitude of rejections he had leveled upon me long ago, but the elation upon hearing of their victories, against unknown monsters, and the many powers they wielded… it had been a moment of rapturous relief.
Even the gifts I learned from him spoiled me, weakened me, using what I learned from him was undoubtedly a double-edged sword. In my own incompetence, I'd believed my web to be able to inform me during chaos, when he so clearly made no effort to utilize his own in the heat of battle. Misunderstanding his methods, just as I had misunderstood him, only served to reveal more and more of my own inefficacies and decrepitude.
Though he was nowhere close, I could imagine the vindictive pleasure in his eyes, the enjoyment and delight he'd gain, from knowing I had failed to be as capable as him on tools and methods I took from him.
…He would laugh cruelly, render judgements without an ounce of regret, and layer upon layer a multitude of truths upon me…
Seated… away… disgust at my action and inadequacies both… clear in his eyes…
…ah…
…that attack was good for one matter at the very least.
Still, no squalid nook, secluded home, or smuggler's den will hide them from my Familia. My fine, brilliant, and powerful warriors capable of feats only a select few could match given time and power, will find them, confront them, and drag them before me for their most fitting of punishments.
The day will come when they'll plead, whimper, and wail for my leniency, quarter, and… mercy.
They will find none.
The shelter of death shall not be given to them.
For their impertinence, I'll take all of their lives.
Only this one life, only a particular moment, and only of continuous suffering.
Pain and misery, that which only a god could hope to render, is all they were fated to the moment they almost harmed my most precious dream and my most beloved nightmare.
…
"Freya-sama." Ottar, ever stalwart and diligent, came forward without hesitation whereas all others in my Familia would hesitate. Why would he when I had raised him from birth? The thrill of fashioning a being suited entirely for myself had faded swiftly. Not even I, in my addled, forlorn state before my fated meeting, would've believed in such a facetious, manufactured affection. No other would bring my Mirror to me as I cleansed myself of the price to use it. "Hikigaya and Cranel have engaged the Goliath."
"I see." All he needed was a simple gesture to place it before the tub, and he took his place at my back. No straying eyes, much like myself, he was wholly interested in the action of both my current interests. I was tempted to tease him of a forming rivalry, but I knew that he held no interest in men. "Do you believe them in any danger?"
"None at all, Freya-sama." Disappointment faintly tinged Ottar's voice, but also a measure of respect. Though my mightiest warrior could undoubtedly destroy the Goliath in a single blow, he and all adventurers knew of the terror of fighting the first of the mightiest monsters in the Dungeon. To face it without the chance of death was both to be commended and a disappointment. "Not with the students and aid he has at his side."
"Ottar…" The water parted as I raised my hand from its depths. I touched upon the Divine for a moment and willed the Mirror to life. The din of battle filled the room. The roars of pain and anguish from the massive beast almost drowned out the battle cries and orders that came from the miniscule figures fighting the massive monster. Closing my eyes, I felt myself calming and relaxing at the sound of battle and the warmth of liquid that surrounded me. Still, even as I basked in the luxury, a creeping doubt surfaced. A ceaseless discontent when I should have been pleasured. One that needed to be addressed immediately. "Do you believe that it is possible for either of them to become stronger from this?"
"No, they will not." I wondered if others would have decided to lie in Ottar's stead. However, I had no doubt that my mightiest warrior would not lie to me. As he said so himself, my interests and his own coincided, with his happiness rising with my own. What a beautiful, selfless being I have raised. None come to mind who are worthy of his affection. I supposed that I must keep him until such a being exists. "They are too strong, too well prepared, and they are in no danger because of the Loki Familia members keeping watch at their backs."
"I see." I mused, debated, and traced the contours of my cheek with the back of my hand. I allowed myself a moment of narcissism. No mortal could ever compare… The thought struck me, and I stood fully from my bath. With a gesture, I willed away the Divinity that empowered the Mirror, before stretching out my hand. Yes. Both of them needed to become stronger. To become mightier. Were they not at slight fault for worrying me so much after the attack? I have no need to exercise so much patience now, had they not been in so much danger during the attack. "Ottar, a cloth, please."
"You have something in mind, Freya-sama?" Ottar attended to me as he spoke, as I fully left the waters in which I had been immersed. Brushing both moisture and stray petals from my body with soft cotton, I was pleased with his focus on more important matters. Pleased enough to attend to myself after plucking the cloth from his hands. "To create a true threat for them?"
"Indeed, I do." Coy and filled with mischief, the words left my mouth as elation spread throughout my body. Yes, I had been far too inactive. They had been heated by the fires I had placed them through mere weeks ago. They needed to be struck and tempered still. How inexcusable of me to let all their effort to gather friends and allies go to waste! To challenge them as singular individuals would not be to challenge them completely. Their full might must be tested, their lives must be at risk, and death must caress them for them to grow into the powerful, inspiring, and mighty beings that I knew they could become. I reached my closet, walked past dozens of dresses and clothes worth the wealth of entire nations, before coming to the common clothing I favored for inconspicuous travel. "According to the reports, they are heading into Under Resort afterward, correct?"
"Ah, you intend to provoke the Dungeon, Freya-sama?" Ottar intoned as he passed me a particular coat. It was not the one I preferred, giving me pause, but I realized that I would draw attention if I wore cloth similar to what they wore. The embroidered silk will have to do in place of the durable leathers. I would've enjoyed looking so similar to them. So close to them. But, that would not do, would it? Secrets and masks served as the best spice. I intended to savor them completely. "I will gather an escort for you."
Ottar parted, no word of discontent upon his lips, and I was left to myself and my thoughts.
I would be risking them, my entire Familia, yet they would follow me earnestly still. Should I be caught, my time upon this world will end, and they will lose their power until another takes them in. My Familia, filled with my lovers and children, would follow me to the ends of the world, all of whom I loved without reserve, yet I would risk them all in such a matter?
I thought of the promise I saw in them both. The promise of love and hatred. Of two beings at the ends of what I yearned for. The pinnacle of what I wanted and the very depths of those who were disgusted with who I was.
Would they not allow me to love my Familia more fully? To see past their simplicities and enjoy the complexity of their love?
I would not know until my efforts bore fruit, but until that moment came… I was prepared to risk anything.
Anyone.
…
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
OmnipresenceBeing
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Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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