Kapitel 16: I’M A DISAPPOINTMENT
Zarah Fable
I can't believe him. That asshole! Who did he think he was acting like he can have a double life like this. I lift my hand and slam it down on the steering wheel of my car. He never fails to frustrate me. I can hear and feel my stomach rumbling. I look at the clock in my car. 5:15. This is the time I normally eat dinner. I was supposed to eat at Kiki's house but that plan is out the window now. I open my door, step out, and close it back. I walk up to the front door. I put my key in but the door doesn't click. Why is it already unlocked? I walk in, weary of what I might come across while walking in. I slowly walk in when a wonderful smell hits my nose. It smells like…. My mom's fish gumbo! Which can only mean one thing.
"Dad!"
"Sweetheart!"
Dad turns around facing me. I dropped my bag and keys that were in my hand and ran up to him giving him a tight hug.
"I thought that you weren't going to be home for another week."
"Yeah I wasn't supposed to but everything ended early and I was able to wrap up the deal."
My father helps out with international deals with connections to pharmaceuticals. He has worked with Rayon Medicinal for years and has been promoted a lot. Now he travels a lot but he has always made sure that I was set up at the house beforehand.
"So, how is my little girl doing?"
How am I doing? A question loaded with so many response options. I can't tell him, at least not right now.
"I'm good. Why don't we just eat dinner and talk some more?"
Dad nodded his head as he began to fill bowls up with fish gumbo. I take my bowl and sit at the dining room table which is not that far from the kitchen. Dad comes in soon enough with his bowl as well and sits down. We begin talking just like old times. It's like nothing has changed when in reality so much has.
Damn it. I can't sleep. I get up and go to the bathroom and try to lay back down. I gave it a few minutes to see if it worked but I still can't seem to go back to sleep. I sit up and grab my phone from my nightstand next to my bed. It's 2am. I get up with my phone in hand, walk to and open my bedroom door, and walk to the kitchen. I open the fridge to see what I can eat. I can't find anything that doesn't seem to set my stomach off so instead I grab a glass of milk. I leave the fridge open for the light as I don't feel like turning on the overhead light. I turn and grab a glass out of the cabinet after I already grabbed the milk from the fridge and set it on the counter.
"Baby girl, what are you doing up at this hour?"
I turn and see my dad coming out of his room.
"Oh, well I couldn't sleep so I thought that maybe a snack could help me go back to sleep."
"You've never had problems with sleep before. Maybe I should take you to the doctor tomorrow."
"NO. You don't have to do that."
My dad gave me a confused look.
"Sweetie you know if something is going on you can tell me right?"
His voice is soft and caring. He used the same voice whenever I would do something wrong when I was younger since it was the only way to get me to tell the truth. I know that he's my dad and that I should tell him everything but will he be mad? Will he support me whenever I need it? My mind swirls with all of the possibilities. Tears begin to form in my eyes. I see a very blurry outline of my dad moving toward me. He embraces me tight.
"Baby, you have to talk to me. I can't help if you don't tell me what's happening."
"But If I tell you, y-you may hate me." I cried.
"I could never hate you. You're my daughter."
That's it. The confirmation that I needed.
"I-I'm pregnant"
The hug dad had me in became looser and when I looked I saw him looking directly at me. His eyes felt like they were burning into my head. I've never seen him look like this before.
"Dad, please say something."
My dad completely lets go of me and then turns to face the kitchen counter. His hands tightly grip the counter.
"When did this happen?"
"When you were gone. About a day or two after spring break started. But it was an accident I didn't mean to…"
"An accident? So what you're saying is I can make a clinic appointment and take care of this 'issue'."
Issue? Why did he phrase it like that?
"No dad. You see, James and I already talked and I want to keep the baby."
"Woah woah woah wait? James? As in Kiki's elder brother who is currently in college James."
"Yeah him! I know that there is still a lot to work out with him being in college and all of that but I think we can figure it all out as long as he doesn't act like an ass.. I mean butt."
"Do you have any idea what you have done?"
I was confused. What did he mean by 'what I had done'?"
"I am known at my company for having such a great family. When your mother died I thought my rep might take a blow because of how much time I was taking off to take care of the both of us. But when I got back, I was met with hugs and love. And that's how I got the promotion. How I now make enough money to support just the two of us. My daughter is known as a nice and respectful young lady, not some whore who couldn't keep her legs closed!"
I have never seen this side of my dad. He looked back at me. His eyes were filled with anger at me. I don't get it. I thought he said he wouldn't get mad at me no matter what. Why is he so angry?
"Dad, I get you a little upset."
"A little? This goes beyond a little! You did something your mother and I raised you not to do until you get married but you did it anyway! And with a college guy when you're still in high school nonetheless! What have your mother and I done to deserve such disappointment of a daughter like you."
I stood there, frozen. Was this real? Am I in reality right now?
"I'm sorry dad, but please."
"No. No buts and no please. You can't change what you have done now. And you aren't willing to fix it by eliminating the problem itself. Get out of my house."
"Dad!"
"DON'T YOU DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME YOUNG LADY! THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER AND I SAID TO GET OUT BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT MYSELF!"
I'm scared of him like this. I quickly grab my keys at the front door and run out of the house. I unlock my car and get inside. I start my car as fast as I can and then pull out and begin to drive. I have no clue where I am going or even where I can go.
After driving for a bit I pull into a driveway and park. I look up to realize that I am in front of Kiki and James' house. I get out and lock my car, then walk up to the front door. I knock a few times and wait. I see a light come on from the kitchen window. The door slowly opens to reveal a tired James rubbing his eyes. They turned from tired to shock as he stared at me standing in front of him, my eyes red from crying, still filled with tears. I'm still pissed at him for earlier but right now I need someone who I know will let me hold on for as long as I need to.
"Z, what the hell happened?"
I can't respond. I want to. I want to tell him everything. Right now I just can't. I can't think, let alone manage to get all of the words out that I'm looking for. I let the sobs come harder. I take a step up so that I am about an inch away from James. I open my arms and swing them around him tight. I hold on as my body feels like it's going numb. James, shocked at first, then wraps his arms around me.
"I don't know what happened. We don't have to talk about it right now. I will stand here and hold you for as long as you need me too. I promise, no matter what."
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein