Kapitel 46: 45. Flower Dance
Sunday, 19th. April. 2015
I'd been laying in the comfort of my humongous bed for a good half an hour, just aimlessly scrolling through news articles, seeing as recently I hadn't paid any attention to what was going on in the world at all. But, suddenly my phone rang which startled me and it dropped out of my hand and hit me right in the face.
My nose hurt as I felt around on the blanket to try and find it. Then, I heard a voice coming from the speaker. My heart dropped as I picked it up and saw Yoongi's name on the screen and that I'd accidentally answered the call when it had fallen.
"Jia? Jia?"
Damn it… I didn't mean to do that. I'd been trying to avoid their calls and texts mostly… It was just as I was about to hang up when I heard Yoongi speak again.
"Don't you dare hang up on me. Just listen to me for a second."
I hesitated. I couldn't just hang up now.. Could I?
Deciding it wouldn't hurt to just listen, I slowly put the phone to my ear.
"Yoongi?" I asked, and as I did he sighed in relief.
"Finally. Look, there's some important stuff I need to talk to you about. I have details for a bank account I need to give you. There are royalties from songs you are credited to on there."
I was stunned by what Yoongi was telling me.
"What songs are you talking about? I don't have any credits on any of your songs?" I questioned. He let out a sigh.
"You do. They're songs from a couple of years ago. I can explain properly when we meet. How does that sound?"
If he was willing to explain, that was reason enough for me to agree. And if he was trying to pique my curiosity, it'd worked. This was the first time any of them had actually offered to explain the past to me, so I wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to learn more.
"Alright, sure. Is there any chance we can do it today?" I asked.
"Yeah. The sooner the better. How about you meet me at Yeouido Park at 1? Near the bridge." Yoongi replied.
"Okay, I'll see you then."
We hung up the call, and I lay there for a moment more. Yoongi sounded like he was serious about handing over these royalties to me, and perhaps even explaining how I came to have them. I didn't get the feeling he was lying, or trying to lure me out for an ulterior reason. Besides, it was Yoongi we're talking about. Sweet and soft and occasionally savage.. The savage being specifically referring to the time he stopped me from getting thrown off a rooftop. Aside from all that, the place we were meeting was out in public. There'd be people around, especially seeing as the cherry blossom season was in full bloom now, too.
Truth was.. the more entries from the notebook that I read, the less I believed they'd hurt me or were a danger to me in any way. They all wrote so sincerely to me. It'd been nearly impossible to read without bursting into tears. Maybe I'd overreacted and been quick to jump to conclusions, but, I mean, who wouldn't have, given the circumstances I was faced with?
Maybe they were still good guys, even though they were doing some questionable things. Then again, apart from seeing them at the clubs and having guns, there wasn't anything else solid to really base it off, though. Maybe I could relax around them a little more.. Until I knew more at least..
I put my thoughts to one side as I got ready and left.
Luckily, I'd worn a neat sweater and jeans, so I couldn't feel the chill of the slight breeze on the way there. It wasn't far, either. Within a five-minute stroll down the street, I passed by a few office complexes and cafes along the way. I reached the street corner across from the river, the bridge that crossed water and lead over to the park came into view. The way the cherry blossom trees towered over from one side to the other made it feel like the bridge was made of a pink petal canopy with the sun shining through. The light wind was enough to blow the delicate pink petals of the blossoms off the trees. The way they carelessly fluttered down was so beautiful, enchanting even.
I noticed a low dark brick wall on the shop side of the street. I took a seat to wait for Yoongi, seeing as I was a little early. The fresh, delicate smell of flowers in the air and the light chatter of people passing by helped to calm my slight nerves. The last time I saw him felt like so long ago. I'd been snuggled up beside him that night of their housewarming dinner. As I reminisced, the smell of the meat and the sound of their laughter echoed in my mind. It'd been such a sweet memory, sitting huddled by the crackling of the fire with them.
As I peered down the street, I noticed Yoongi approaching. His light faded jeans and white shirt gave him a brighter feeling than his usual dark colors. My insides swirled with each step closer that he took.
On spotting me, Yoongi gave a small wave and casually took a seat beside me on the brick wall.
"How have you been?" He asked, rubbing his hands on his jeans, glancing aside to look at me.
"Confused, but alright.. I guess" I replied. I fiddled with my hands that were in my lap to soothe my nerves. Yoongi remained silent for a moment, as though he understood what I meant by confused.
"It's a relief, at least, being able to see you like this." He finally said. I bit at my lip, stealing a glance at him.
"So, what's this about song credit royalties?" I asked, hoping to avoid any awkwardness. He turned to look at me, so I did the same.
"I'm sure you've probably realised this by now, but we used to know each other in our earlier school years. You used to co-write songs for us," Yoongi explained. I nibbled at my lip. He was right. I had figured out at least that much. But I wanted to know more.
"I had a feeling we knew each other before I started getting memories back of our early days, but I still had no idea we used to write songs together."
"You're getting memories back?" Yoongi seemed surprised by this. He held my gaze steadily.
"Yeah, a few. One of meeting Jimin and Tae in class. You, Hoseok and Namjoon in the studio. Listening to rap and hanging out for barbecue. Innocent enough, nothing like the people you are now." As though ignoring the last part of what I'd said, he carried on.
"Have you been getting headaches?" He asked. I blinked, not sure what to say. Was he really still worried about me? Why did he seem to care so much? Wasn't he or the others more concerned with the fact that I'd been a witness to them having weapons in their house? Or that I'd run and tell the police? Or that I was a burden to them with my seemingly endless problems.. I took a deep breath to try to calm down and answer him.
"Kind of, but not as badly." I lied. It was a struggle. I didn't want to worry him.. if I told him I'd been bedridden for days.. He already seemed to worry about me constantly, they all did. And it was only becoming more apparent that whatever I did, it wouldn't stop them or deter them in any way..
"You're such a bad lier" Yoongi said, nibbling at his lip, eyes locked with mine. I looked away. He was right. Regaining my memories was so painful. Could I really sit here and lie to him? Try to lie to myself? No… I can't lie about the pain I feel. It's just too real.
"It hurts so much." I confessed, clutching my heart out of reflex. "I don't know what to do. I'm so lost, so confused." So much pressure had been piling up on me, like the weight of the world was bearing down. Going from not knowing anything to being overwhelmed by the past. Tears slide out, I tremble. Yoongi's gaze swirls as his dark eyes connect with mine again.
Why was I always crying? Why was I always hurting? Yet, I'm so selfish. As I stare at Yoongi, who's always there for me. A place I can curl up and hide away. I wanted it more now than ever.
"Yoongi… I need you."
It's as though time slowed. The flower petals danced around us as they fell to the ground.
"I'm here. I'll never leave you. Ever." His words held such conviction. Just like the time he held my face in his lap and I cried my eyes out. He'd held me so close, at the time I didn't even know him.. Yet..
Just like the time Hoseok and Joon had fought, he'd wiped my tears away. The memory vividly came back to me. Even then, he'd done this for me. "Yoongi…"
"Shh. There's no need to worry, Jia. Baby steps," He hushed me. I relaxed as he leaned in, gently kissing me on my damp cheek.
"Take your time, but please come back to us. We- no. I'm suffering without you. And one more thing, stop ignoring my messages," Yoongi's voice cracked as he spoke, as though holding back his own pain. Was he about to cry, too?
"Okay.. I- I'll stop doing that. I'm sorry," I sniffled. Giving in to him completely.
"Good girl." He shut his eyes and held our faces close together. I caught his faint smile before closing my eyes as well. It was like all the tension had dissipated. It was as though he was relieved to hear me give up on something stubborn.
I sat there, huddled into Yoongi's shoulder for a moment. When I opened my eyes again, I could see the beauty of the day surrounding us. The flower petals dancing. There was a breath of hope in the air. One that came along in the spring breezes.
If a light piano tune played in the background, it would've felt like a scene right out of a romance novel. What a corny thing to think. If I told Yoongi that, I wonder what he'd say?
He noticed the faint smile returning to me and tilted his head to look at me again.
"What is so funny?" He peered down at me.
"No.. it's nothing," I shook my head, feeling a bit shy to voice my wayward thoughts. But he gave a tiny smirk.
"Were you thinking what an amazing boyfriend I'd be?"
Boyfriend?! Did he mean… as my boyfriend? I blushed.
"What?! Where did that come from?!" I panicked a bit, which he just chuckled at and let me go.
"Nevermind. It's just something you always used to tell me. That I'd make a sweet boyfriend. Anyway, here, you need to take this," Yoongi reached into his pocket and pulled out a few small folded papers. "It's the details of the account."
"Thanks.." I took it from him, but I couldn't just let this bit of information pass by without asking more.
"Yoongi.. Were you my boyfriend?" I held my breath in anticipation.
"No. But I wanted to be," His voice softened with his confession, "I still do."
A wave of tenderness hit me, but I pushed on. "Then why didn't you?"
"You loved all seven of us. But if I had the chance, I would've stolen you away and kept you all to myself." I felt a hot flush wash over me as I sat there, stunned. Yoongi leant in and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, taking advantage of my speechless state.
"I should get to work, this album isn't about to release itself" Yoongi sighed. I nodded, still trying to get a hold of what he'd so casually just told me. Before I could even think of a question to ask, Yoongi had waved goodbye and left. As I sat there, something felt different.
I loved all seven of them? And.. they loved me too..?
Reluctantly, I headed back to the apartment. As much as I wanted to know more, this afternoon I was scheduled for a shift at the club, so I'd have to wait for now.
When I arrived, Haru pulled me aside to talk. He promoted me to a cast member, seeing as I apparently made a lot of money the other night. At first, I was hesitant, but, as I gazed around at the extravagance and allure of the club and the girls, something came over me. A calmness of sorts, an invisible force pulling me in. I threw away my uncertainty and decided. I would do it.
Haru gave me a pleasant smile, told me I started officially tomorrow and sent me back home for the night. There was a bubble of excitement in my chest as I sat in the back of the car on the way back to the apartment.
Once I'd retired to bed for the night, I reached over for my trusted notebook to read another entry before I settled in to sleep. Tonight seemed like it might've been Yoongi's turn, coincidences seemed to be plentiful. And I wanted to know more.
—
So cats out of the bag, huh?
You know I'm the one that kept your hostess job a secret from the others, right? When you told me you needed the money, I didn't question you any further. I was going through something similar.
It doesn't surprise me, though, that Hoseok and Namjoon are acting all weird. The time they're referring to was also around the time they had a massive fall out. And you somehow ended up caught in the middle of it. You were upset, distraught, to be blunt. It was all just a build-up of stuff that didn't even concern you.
Looking back, it was all so trivial, but it was also a turning point for us as a group. It inevitably brought us closer together. That includes you, babe. By this point, we were all falling head over heels for you, one after the other.
Hah. Seeing as no one else was being straight with you, though, I probably had to be the one to lay it all out for you. Hmm. What happens next? Well, things get a lot more complicated. Unfortunately.
Even so, things remained simple between us. I felt like I was always learning something new about you. You always kept me on my toes. For example, you give a lot of yourself to others. But, when you can't take anymore, when the world spites you with its unfairness and you're exhausted, you don't tell anyone. You rarely ask for help, honesty it makes me angry.
I find myself feeling that same anger when you do it now. Hah. As I said in my last entry. Truly feels like nothing has changed. You're still the same, annoyingly cute and sweet Jia.
Always, your Min Yoongi (^ ̳. ̫ . ̳^)♡
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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Rangliste 
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Stein