Kapitel 34: SCARED THE BOY I LOVED WOULDN'T BE MY MATE

Carramel's POV

I can't help the feeling of someone watching me as I get out the car outside of school the next day, though hardly anyone looks in our direction as we arrive at school. James rounds the car to my frozen position and shields me in between the car and his warm delicious body.

"Hey, bean, you okay?" He asks, his head ducking down to stare me in the eyes. "If this is too much for you, I can take you home." He says and I know he's only worrying about me but I can't help but think I would be better off not knowing that's someone in the city and potentially my pack was out to get me.

"I'm okay." I tell him and I am physically but I can't quite shake the paranoia that's taking over as he sighs and begins to lead me into school by his hand in mine. As usual people start waving and saying hello to James as he comes into the school, but for once, eyes don't just skate over me and I get just as many hellos and greetings as he does. And although it makes my chest puff out a little in pride, it also doesn't help my already scattered mental state that's been this way since James and Jessie explained what happen.

I was too scared last night to go to sleep and now I feel like a half dead over cautious zombie walking through the hallways. 'Are you sure you don't want me to take over?' Jessie asks me, concern clear in her tone with the question but again I refuse.

'I'm fine, Jessie.' I tell her as James sand I reach my locker. 'You'll be the first to know if I'm not.' I'm promise her as I reach my hand up and put in my locker combination, opening it as I realize that no matter what I say, my wolf is going to be watching me like a hawk all day.

"Are you alright, bean?" James asks me and I try to reign in my growing impatience at the annoying question. I unzip my book bag and pull out the books I need for the start of the day. I shove my bag in the small space and close the door before I turn towards James with a strained smile.

"Yes, James, I'm fine." I tell him carefully and he raises his hands in surrender before grabbing the books out of my hand and walking me to his locker, the trip made no easier as I fall deeper and deeper into my mind, the world around me falling away making me trip stumble and even curse a few times.

Thankfully, James doesn't lose his patience with me nor does he ask if I'm okay again which makes me feel better. Slightly. When we arrive at his locker, Alex and their friend Artemis are leaning against it talking in hushed tones and I bet it would only take me one chance to guess what they're talking about.

We approach the duo and the two of them turn towards me with sympathetic and worried eyes. Alex opens his mouth to say something but I beat him to it. "If you're going to ask me if I'm okay keep your fucking mouth shut." I say, a growl leaking into my voice with the irritation of being smothered, and not in the good way.

Alex quickly shuts his mouth with wide eyes and turns towards James who rubs the back of his back embarrassingly. "Jessie and I might be suffocating her with our worry just a bit." He says guiltily and as much as I want to shove the attitude back in my mouth, I really can't handle everyone else's overthinking and fear on top of mine.

My eyes find Artemis' and I breath am internal sigh of relief when I don't find any pity or worry in them. She studies me for a second before she makes a decision that shocks us all. "I'll walk Carramel to class. I'll see you guys in Leader's Development." Before the two surprised wolves can answer, she's grabbing my books from James' arms and hooking her right arm with my left before we're making our way down the hallways away from the two. "What's your first class?" She asks me and I answer with a frown.

"Species Religion." I tell her and we make a right. "I'm not a charity case." I tell her softly not wanting her to think she has to watch over me because of how small I am just like everyone else.

"I don't think you are." She tells me without missing a beat and while I'm still curious to why she wants to walk me to class, I'm also relieved by the assurance even if it is false. "I've actually be meaning to talk to you."

"Me?" I ask, my nose scrunching up in clear confusion. "Why would you want to talk to me?" I ask and she chuckles.

"To apologize. On behalf of my brother of course." She says and I'm still confused for a second before it all begins to click together. She must see the realization hit my face because she chuckles at me and nods. "Yeah, Jasper is my brother. Weird right?" She asks and I catch glances at her as we walk.

"You guys look just alike." I tell her and she scoffs as if offended.

"Don't even insult my beauty like that. My brother is a potato. I'm solid gold. Can't get much better than this." She says with a smile, winking at me and I decide right here and now that I like Artemis.

We round the corner into the hallway my class is on and I begin to unravel my arm from her to ask for my books before she stops me.

"I know what it's like to be targeted. The paranoia and that feeling of being watched never going away." She tells me, her gold eyes serious as she talks to me. "Technically speaking, I'm supposed to have bodyguards wherever I go, but I trained with the guards until I was able to defend myself so I didn't look like the stuck up princess my parents want me to be. If you ever want those lessons, I'm here." She tells me and for the first time all day, I smile.

"Thank you." I tell her sincerely and she smiles back at me before she legs go of my arm and places the stack of books in my arms softly.

"See you around." She says before she's walking down the hallway, girls and boys alike stopping to stare stare at her in awe. Right as she turns the corner she looks back at me and gives me a secret smile before she disappears.

Ignoring all the curious and envious glances from those in the hallway, I make my way back in the class, waving at Makayla and Enza as I retake my seat in the back of the room. In less than a minute the class is full and the first bell is ringing to indicate the start of the day.

"Good morning, class!" Mr. Cedric stands up from his desks and comes around it to stand in the middle of the room with a smile like always. "Like always whatever is said in this room stays in this room and the only think we preach is..."

"Good vibes only." The class responds immediately and our teacher claps to get those of us who are talkings attention.

"Alright guys today we're going to get a little. it personal. Like always try to remain open minded, because bullying and intolerance are not tolerated in this class and you will be immediately kicked out of I even think you're harboring these qualities."

The class is paying rapt attention now, knowing what's the come: The Talk Circle. In classes like these we aren't witches and vampires and werewolves we're just people who have all been through something. We take our desks and form a circle around the room and answer whatever question Mr. Cedric has prepared for us.

"Alright class you know the drill. Two minutes." He says going to stand directly in the middle of the classroom as the sound of chairs and desk screeching against the floor as we get into the position we were taught the first day of class.

Once every one is settled and book bags are lined up against the wall, our teacher walks along the inside of the circle and watches us for almost five minutes before he finally begins.

"Today I want you guys to tell me and each other about the last time you doubted whatever Goddess you believe in and why." He says and murmurs go up around the room before he shushes them. "You may ask questions if it's respectful and remember after each turn, say thank you for sharing. Placing a part of your soul out for others to see is very difficult for everyone so make sure you're being welcoming and excepting. Let's start with Sarah. Counterclockwise."

He claps his hands in an indication to start and the circle begins.

"I doubted my Goddess because my dad still hasn't come back from his business trip."

"Thank you for sharing."

"I doubted mine because my mom lost her second baby in a row."

"Thank you for sharing."

"My Mate was the victim of a drunk driver last year coming home from cheerleading practice and I still haven't found my Second Chance."

"Thank you for sharing."

"Because Mates are supposed to love each other not yell at each other and say they wish they never met."

"Thank you for sharing." And then eyes are on me. I try to think of the last time and I'm stuck between two before I finally decide.

"I was scared the boy I loved wouldn't turn out to be my Mate." I tell the class and one boy raises his hand.

"Was he?" And the class looks at me curiously and I smile shyly cheeks red as I nod.

"Yes. He was." And the class all had that wistfully look to their face either from looking forward to meeting their own or remembering when they met theirs.

"Thank you for sharing." They tell me but for the first time today, their words feel genuine.

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