Kapitel 93: Chapter 92 - Resolve
Chapter 92 - Resolve
...
And honestly, it was really that damn good! Jorah's anticipation for the meal was justified when I myself found the dishes to be so appetizing that my hands refused to stop, while my mouth continued to swallow every bit of the delicious food. After making sure that we found everything to our taste, Celesta joined us in eating as well. From time to time, small conversations kept on finding their way into our little group's mealtime.
"Wow~!! It's soooo~ good! Big Sis, how do you do it like this every single time? The food cooked by you has never disappointed me, even once till now! But, when I tried to copy your techniques, just like you did... I..."
I agree with Jorah's sentiments just now. From the time I stayed at her house, Celesta's home-cooked meals have had an unmatched taste. I have tried to cook with those inspirations too, but I haven't been able to measure up to her yet.
Maybe that's the outcome of all of the hard efforts poured in by Celesta over the years to stabilize her own family. She really is a lady worthy of respect and admiration.
Seeing Jorah become so despondent, Celesta patted the younger one's hair as she dotingly remarked,
"Don't worry, Jorah. Just keep on practicing like you normally do. Also, motivation to improve is immensely important. And as a tip, if you prepare the food while having positive thoughts, it has a big effect on the outcome."
Jorah stared at her elder sister with her big eyes for a while, before a big smile erupted on her face again.
"I see... Then, were you thinking of Big Sister Carene when you made these in the morning??"
"*Cough*! *Cough*!... J-Jorah..."
W-What the... what is Jorah saying now??
Celesta... thinking of me while cooking? Nope. Absolutely not true. At least, not yet.
Even if I would really like it to be that way, even I know how to separate delusions from reality.
Seeing me coughing so hard, Celesta rushed to my side and rubbed my back gently, as she hurriedly spoke,
"Don't speak while eating, Carene. Here, have some water first."
Accepting the water bottle, I quickly gulped down a few mouthfuls of it, before I spoke to Celesta again,
"T-Thanks..."
And, on the side... the little one who caused this mischief had her eyes shining brightly as she squirmed where she sat and blushingly remarked,
"Oho~~? So lovey-dovey so early in the day. Aiya..."
N-No. This isn't us being anything remotely loving. Celesta's just showering her care unto me as a friend. She... surely didn't mean anything special by doing that...
Celesta seemed to have been ticked off as well as she lightly glared at Jorah and spoke in a low tone,
"Jorah..."
Jorah's body flinched greatly upon hearing the warning from Celesta as she bowed her head slightly and sheepishly replied,
"Un, sorry. I will stay quiet and eat then."
Saying that, Jorah returned to sit on the side, as she began to silently munch over the sandwiches from within the food basket.
...
Thanks to Celesta's timely interruption of Jorah's wild claims, I was nearly able to avoid death by choking upon delicious food. Even if the food was so good to justify that... I was in no mood to pass on early, so I was greatly thankful for it. I still want to have a happy and enjoyable life. In fact, I have a lot left to live for!
And just like she promised, Jorah stayed quiet and just enjoyed the food, glancing at us from time to time with a mischievous look in her eyes. The smile was so widely spread on her face then I began to wonder exactly what was going on in that little head of hers.
All of a sudden though, she frowned somewhat as she began to stare in a certain direction while muttering something to herself. As my curiosity overcame me after dodging it all day, I decided to ask her about it.
"Um... is something the matter Jorah? Does it hurt somewhere? Or are you uncomfortable? You don't look good at all."
Jorah just glanced at me and Celesta once, before she returned back to glare at the same direction from before as she murmured in a rare serious and angry tone,
"Ah, it's nothing... Big Sister Carene. I was just wondering why certain people can't be happy with minding their own matters. Snooping around, digging into other people's situations, and disturbing their happy lives for their own selfishness... it really makes me feel angry."
Hey... did something happen to her behind my back today?! I-I admit that I had been too preoccupied with my own affairs today and had ended up neglecting Jorah somewhat. Did someone evil take advantage of that gap to trouble our young angel somehow?
If that's really the case though, I surely won't forgive them!
"Did someone pester you like that? You can surely tell me about it, Jorah. I will do my best to help you with anything I can."
Jorah smiled at me awkwardly while waving her hands in denial as she spoke to me,
"Ahahaha, so dependable~~, Big Sister Carene. It honestly makes me somewhat reassured to have you by my side. But believe me, it isn't anything that you need to worry about. Hmph! I can take care of such unwanted people by myself! It would be a shame to my existence if I let such evil wishers to accomplish their goals so easily under my watch!"
Hearing Jorah say all that, even Celesta had become concerned about it, as she too joined our little talk and asked,
"Mnh? What happened exactly, Jorah?"
Jorah jumped up to stand in front of us, as she swiftly moved to deny Celesta's worries while she spoke urgently,
"Nothing! Nothing at all, Big Sis. Anyway... stop worrying about me all the time, you two. I am good here by myself. Spend some time by yourself too. It's not good for me to keep being the third wheel around here after all~~"
"Eh? T-Third wheel? But, in what manner?"
Third wheel? Jorah?? But, how could that be? We came here for her sake this time, so her being involved with us should be considered normal!
Seriously, this girl. She is too used to carrying all the burdens herself. If she gets neglected too much though... no, Celesta and I are here just to prevent that possibility. As elders, we must not let her little shoulders carry any burden.
In reply to my answer, Jorah just sighed heavily as she turned to look towards Celesta with a sympathetic look in her eyes and muttered,
"Haah... just go on already, Big Sister Carene. You too, Big Sis!"
...
After being told not to mind it, I decided to let the little girl be and refocused on Celesta, as her beautiful and enchanting figure began its mesmerizing effect on me.
I really often wonder how someone so smart, capable, and beautiful as Celesta could not have been in a dating relationship with any person till now.
It won't be an exaggeration to say that not only the boys, but even some girls had found themselves charmed by her amazing self.
Ah... right. She isn't single anymore. Technically Celesta and I are both dating each other, even if it's based on a lie. I would be lying if I said that I never had thoughts of turning that fake status into a real one though.
Jorah's words from morning began doing their laps around my mind, as my heartbeat sped up, while the desire to inch closer toward Celesta began to stir itself within me.
I-Is it really okay? Should I really have this faint hope of having a happy future with Celesta? Um... I agree that I surely may not be the best person out there for her. I am not very confident with myself and lack the ability to keep her happy all the time. And, on top of all that, my body gender is a bit ambiguous for most people to understand. If one day... If Celesta ever gets scorned due to me in any way, I... don't think I would be able to handle it.
However, there is this one thing that has been nagging me all this while. That what if I keep on being just a fake girlfriend, and what if... Celesta finds someone else to truly fall in love with..?
Just by imagining such as scenario, with Celesta being all happy and shy within someone else's arms, my blood begins to boil over with rage, while my heart feels like it's being shattered into a million pieces
No... no no no no no no no... NO!!!
I... won't let her be stolen away from me. What I really want... what I really wish for, is a true relationship with her, not a fake one!
Before anyone seeks the chance to pull one over me... I must act. I have to do something. No, I must do something!
To get Celesta to have sweet feelings towards me... I must make some changes. I must change my attitude, my mindset, my actions... nearly everything about myself!
But, where do I start..? What should I do first?
Yeah, let's start with admitting to myself. No more hiding or dodging the subject. Let's just plainly admit the truth first.
I... truly love Celesta. In fact, I have been in love with her for years. And now... now I am even willing to chase her for it. As it is right now, our relationship would just remain that of a one-sided affection.
I won't be able to silently accept it to be that way anymore!
I must... conquer Celesta's heart.
That way, surely there would be a future of us two being happy together. Forever...
...
A/N: Any special Summer festivals in your locality??
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein