Kapitel 42: Taskmaster
Yan Zheyun's seemingly innocuous statement had its desired effect. No matter how much Lady of Bright Deportment Zhang wanted to lord her status over him, it was obvious that she wasn't foolish enough to make any assumptions about the emperor's favour.
Neither Imperial Concubine Hui nor Lady of Bright Deportment Zhang had any idea what the emperor truly thought of him. All their mockery about him losing favour before even earning it was pure speculation.
But this was just for now. As the days went by and Yan Zheyun remained tucked away in this corner of the palace, all but forgotten, it would reach a point where everyone in the palace would be able to come over and step on him, even servants of the higher-ranked concubines.
This was a dog-eat-dog world, after all. What to do, what to do. Until he came up with a feasible solution, the best thing to do at the moment was watch and wait.
Although Imperial Concubine Hui and Lady of Bright Deportment Zhang ended up leaving that day without creating a greater scene, they also proved themselves to be very efficient. The next morning, Yan Zheyun had barely finished his bland breakfast of pickled vegetables and plain porridge before his peace was rudely disrupted by the arrival of the instructor.
"This old servant from the Sun Family greets Little Master Yan." The matronly woman in front of him had a no-nonsense vibe about her. She had a strong nose and beady eyes that were lined with wrinkles. Her stare was flat and unfriendly, a sure sign that Yan Zheyun was in for a hard time.
"Sun Momo," Yan Zheyun returned her strict curtsy with a slight bow of his head. "What brings you to Zheshan Palace?" He wasn't sure if she was already at 'Momo' status or not, but he decide to err on the side of caution. 'Momo' was the term of address to be used with the elderly female servants that had decades of experience in serving the imperial family. They normally served powerful female members, such as the empress or empress dowager. They were also used to provide instruction to the young princes or princesses and to new concubines.
"In response to Little Master Yan, this old servant has been sent by order of Noble Consort Li Niangniang."
This Sun Momo was here in the capacity of an 'instructor', here to presumably teach Yan Zheyun about the palace rules for a concubine. Although she was a servant and he was technically a 'little master', he was under no illusions about who held more power at the moment.
[Bear with it…bear with it,] he repeated to himself over and over. He had put himself into this difficult position to avoid the sexual harassment in the Wu Household and the potential nightmare that had been lying in wait for him in the fourth prince's manor. All that effort he'd put into escaping was to put the tall walls of the imperial city between the scumbag gongs and himself. In comparison, some humiliation at the hands of servants and irritating jealous concubines was a small trade-off.
There was no one else on his side besides Xiao De when he went out into the courtyard to receive Sun Momo. She gave Zheshan Palace and Yan Zheyun a thorough once-over with hawkish eyes. Her sneer made it clear that she found them lacking.
"If Little Master Yan doesn't mind this old servant saying, you might have been raised in a noble household but that was a long time ago. Plus, that sort of teaching you'd undergone as a child is no longer appropriate for your new role as…someone who is here to serve His Majesty in bed."
Yan Zheyun kept his composure and waited for her to elaborate. He knew that his every expression was being watched. This old woman was here to embarrass him, mete out some punishment for his audacity because how dare a mere slave like him try and crawl into the dragon bed? This treatment wasn't surprising in the least. He just needed to observe, to try and deduce whose intentions were truly behind this. Was it really that Noble Consort Li whom he'd never met before? Or someone else more cunning who was making use of both Lady of Bright Deportment Zhang and her?
Ah, it was hard. Thanks to Yan Yun's face, he'd offended everyone by default the second he'd entered the harem.
"Sun Momo is correct to admonish me," he acquiesced. "If Sun Momo would like to begin with the instruction, Yan Yun will be sure to learn earnestly."
She harrumphed and brushed past him. "We'll see about that, Little Master Yan."
The days after that became an exercise in patience for Yan Zheyun. He used to watch Naruto with his siblings on his off-days, sitting with them on the sofa as they binged episodes and he tried his best to figure out what was going on without actually reading the manga to try and catch up. Now, whenever Sun Momo made him do something that made anger surge in him, he distracted himself with trying to recall the plot from episode one.
Instructing him on palace etiquette was the barest minimum of Sun Momo's duties but she took a perverse delight in making him repeat the motions over and over again. Just because he was the only victim she had on hand, he guessed. For the first time since entering the palace, he found himself wishing he had dorm mates in Zheshan Palace. At least, they could then share her love between them instead of having all this undivided attention trained on himself.
And it wasn't like the emperor didn't already have an entire harem of men and women.
"Little Master Yan, in some situations, concubines might have to hold their salute for as long as the emperor doesn't command them to dispense with formalities. All the other concubines in the harem have successfully managed this, surely you're not going to be the first to fail? This old servant is concerned for you and wishes to help you train to reach those standards. As such, please hold your pose for half a shichen."
Yan Zheyun's mouth tightened but not because his back was already stiff and aching from remaining in an awkward bow for so long.
He didn't like the reminder that he was just one of many in the inner palace. So much for 'Young Master Huang' behaving like a 'gentleman' that time in the carriage. The emperor had admirably resisted Yan Zheyun's drug-induced advances and Yan Zheyun had mistakenly interpreted that as a sign of virtue. He'd foolishly let himself daydream about a relationship blossoming between the both of them, possibly because he had thought it an impossibility.
And now he was a concubine and had to share his 'husband' with..with god only knew how many people.
[You're not an equal, you've never been an equal, this isn't the 21st century, CEO Yan, what were you thinking?]
Forget it. There was no loss, right? Nothing had begun between them so there was nothing to end either. One day, if Yan Zheyun managed to leave the politicking and irrational amorous advances of the scumbag gongs behind him, he was going to find a quiet place to retire and a simple man with open-minded views to date.
"Little Master Yan, your back is bent too steeply, you have failed to hold the same posture. Please straighten it at once." A long, wooden ruler pressed itself against his stomach to adjust the angle of his spine.
Yan Zheyun sucked in a deep breath and resisted the urge to look at Sun Momo. He knew what his expression would look like at the moment, would probably be the same one he used to wear to product development meetings whenever his brand managers tried to foist some impractical bullshit off on him.
"Sun Momo," he said evenly. "Would His Majesty truly ask anyone to hold a salute for half a shichen?" He didn't need to have met the emperor before to know that he wasn't like this, no matter how Yan Zheyun felt about the number of wives he had.
But the glare Sun Momo shot at him was self-righteous. "If you don't mind me saying, Little Master Yan," she lectured, in an officious tone that showed she didn't care whether he minded or not. "Who has more experience in this imperial city, Little Master Yan or this old servant?"
Her lips twisted into a disdainful smile. "Some keep their heads down and recognise their palace as a glorified bedwarmer, so they're willing to learn and rise to greater heights. Others, however…" she trailed off meaningfully. "Well, they are so over-confident in their looks that they start looking down their noses at others right from the beginning. I hate to say this, but this latter group of people…well, they never meet with a good end. After all, this is the imperial city, not any old cowshed or horse stable, a different standard of manners is required here."
Yan Zheyun crinkled his eyes at her. "Sun Momo is right," was his agreeable reply, even though his clothes were soaked through with sweat and the muscles on his back burned. "The Wu Household doesn't hold itself to the standards of Sun Momo."
"You!" Her face darkened and twitched in irritation. "This old servant wasn't speculating on the officials of the court," she snapped. Yan Zheyun had already predicted that she would be afraid to become implicated in badmouthing one of the 6 noble clans, even one as poorly run as the Wu Family.
Sun Momo wagged a threatening finger at him. "Very good. You've glib tongue on you, putting words into this old servant's mouth so easily."
Yan Zheyun lowered his gaze. "Yan Yun wouldn't dare," he said tonelessly.
Of course, she made him pay for the retort. On top of etiquette, the instructors were also supposed to educate the new concubines on the ways of the bedroom, to ensure that the emperor didn't have to care about anything besides having an enjoyable time. Yan Zheyun surmised that this fuss-free experience was to better promote the frequency that the emperor would engage in sexual acts, thus increasing the likelihood of begetting heirs.
Come to think of it, the fourth prince was the emperor's younger brother, as was that little dumpling of a boy that Yan Zheyun had met during Mid-Autumn. The one who coveted the lantern Yan Zheyun had won.
But did the emperor have any children of his own yet?
Probably.
The sour broiling in the pit of Yan Zheyun's belly was difficult to ignore. Perhaps his bitterness was evident on his face because Sun Momo misinterpreted it as Yan Zheyun giving her attitude.
"Even if Little Master Yan doesn't like it, this is part and parcel of being a male concubine in the inner palace." Sun Momo's cruel voice was shrill. "Since you've chosen to submit to another man with your body, this is what you need to master." She chucked the scroll on the table in front of him and it rolled open, depicting elegant drawings of incredibly graphic sexual acts between two men.
Yan Zheyun gazed up at her. Did she think he was going to be so ashamed that he would, what? Crumble onto the floor and weep? Perhaps Yan Yun, with his traditional notions of propriety might but Yan Zheyun, although a young master in modern times, still came from a world where sex was a commonplace topic in society.
"Okay," he said indifferently, picking up the scroll and studying it right beneath her nose. What was there to kick up a fuss about? Sure he didn't make it a habit to watch porn with his university dorm mates but that didn't mean he wasn't sitting in the corner of the room doing his own thing while they discussed what was happening on the screen in explicit detail.
After a glance through, Yan Zheyun let out a thoughtful hum. This seemed to be an illustration of a story between a nobleman and a servant boy. It covered content like foreplay with hands, mouth, and feet. Positions like missionary, riding, and doggy. All of them even had fancy poetic names attributed to them that made it sound more like a sacred cultivation manual from a pure sect than, well, sex.
He blinked up at Sun Momo. "Would that be all?" he asked calmly. "Yan Yun assures Sun Momo, should the emperor require these services, Yan Yun would be more than able to…accommodate." Probably. He'd never been fucked before but…how hard could lying there and taking it be, right?
Sun Momo scoffed. "Spoken like a true expert."
Yan Zheyun didn't bother correcting her misunderstanding. "If there's nothing else for today, Sun Momo, Yan Yun would like to have some time to memorise these sex—ah, sorry, no. These ways of the bedchamber. If necessary, Yan Yun will be prepared to recite them to Sun Momo tomorrow."
She'd come to torture him daily for a couple of days now, Yan Zheyun was admittedly at his wit's end and would like to get rid of her early if possible. He was living one day at a time and any small victory against her was a victory nonetheless.
It was a pity that she wasn't ready to let him off the hook yet.
"Not so fast, Little Master Yan." Sun Momo tutted as she reached into the folds of her sleeves to draw out a fancy small canister. "You might know all the appropriate techniques but please allow this old servant to stress some of the rules of attending to His Majesty's bedchamber needs." She let out an exaggerated sigh. "At the end of the day, there are differences between male and female concubines, wouldn't you agree?"
"Yan Yun awaits Sun Momo's explanation."
She shook her head and glanced at him with false pity. "How should this old servant put this without being hurtful? Female concubines have a future here. Their role is to produce heirs for the throne. What a glorious duty this is! And the saying goes that 'mothers rely on their sons for prestige'. But what good is a male concubine if except to serve as entertainment for His Majesty?"
"Sun Momo's point is?" If she was trying to put him in his place, she needn't bother. Yan Zheyun had already weighed up the pros and cons way before performing the Prince Lanling dance. The only difference was that he didn't care so much about the other concubines in the palace because he'd assumed they would be sharing an old codger. Back then, he'd thought that the more concubines the better.
Now that he knew the emperor was the first crush he'd ever had in two lifetimes, his feelings on the subject had evolved into something more complicated.
Sun Momo held out the canister to him. Yan Zheyun accepted it cautiously, unsure whether it was unreasonably paranoid of him to suspect her of trying to poison him or not.
"Since Little Master Yan's role in the inner palace is that of a mere pleasure-giver," Sun Momo said pleasantly, "it wouldn't do to require His Majesty to take certain troubles upon the imperial shoulders."
Yan Zheyun opened the canister. The faint scent of peaches wafted out. He didn't need to touch the ointment inside to tell that it was a scented balm. For what purpose was also self-explanatory.
Lubricant. He had in his hands a container of ancient lube. Yan Zheyun would have laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation except it really wasn't that funny.
"Thus, this is a skill that is imperative for Little Master Yan to master. If Little Master Yan would please disrobe and prepare his passage for use, this old servant would be more than happy to point out any inadequacies."
Yan Zheyun's gaze turned cold. "Preposterous," he said.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
Queeniecat
Queeniecat A/N: Thanks so much for reading! <3
I know our Yan Zheyun is going through a hard time atm QAQ but he's right at the bottom of the food chain for now. His Majesty isn't a bad man either, I promise, he has his reasons for staying away.
Special thanks to: KatS2020, Barbara_Nogueira, Frooza_pops, Natee, SmolBabyBun, and jesse_ just for the power stones/comments <3
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