It had been a long journey, and she had finally found him. My mate.
How long had I searched for him? A month? Two months probably.
This moment was filled with so much relief on her part, she could barely notice the surrounding. Time really came to a stand-still. And she couldn't help smiling, he was looking at her.
"I finally found you." She said.
He was not what she expected. She thought a mate would be the most attractive thing she would see, but he was not. In fact, she couldn't say he was particularly attractive. But he was taller than her and had broad shoulders. He looked strong so she would take that. He also smelled like money, she would never be able to fully explain how money smelled like on a person, but he smelled rich. Perfect.
"Mate, I plan to fully use you. I'd rather be open about it before we get to know each other." she could see his expression change from shock to disgust. It did not matter, she was still his mate. He fully face her and that expression had turned to one of disbelief. How did he switch so quickly?
Kate could tell why he was shocked, he must have noticed it. She was pregnant.
Three months pregnant.
He must have thought she was shameless after saying that she planned to use him while she was carrying another man’s child. In a normal circumstances, she would have thought she was shameless too so she would not make excuses for her behavior.
One of his friends got out of the car and walked to her mate, her mate was still looking at her with a shocked expression and she was beginning to feel sorry for him, maybe making the two months long trip was a mistake, she should have stayed, or she should have hidden somewhere.
When she first found out that she was pregnant she thought the only options she had were to either terminate the pregnancy and stay, or leave and have the baby. It wasn’t a hard decision to make, this was the perfect excuse she needed to get away from that horrible place. She had been dubbed the queen of adaptation by her friends, but really all she did was put on a façade, she wanted out, but she had no courage. Even if she had decided to leave she knew she did not have that much will to leave, so on the first sign of trouble, she would have given up. She knew this so she chose to stay. However knowing that she was carrying a child – a living child in her womb – was enough reason to leave, to at least live and protect her baby. If she could not live for herself then she could live for her baby. She was using her baby and she knew it. She just had to make up for it by providing the best life that she could.
It did not take long before she realized that she could not protect herself.
She had spent so much time in that darkness that she completely forgot how scary the world was. And it did not take long for her to realize that providing a good life needs a fair amount of money. She had no money, she had no strength.
She had doomed her life but now she had dragged an unborn child into it. She needed a plan. She needed someone to help her. And the only person she could think of was her mate. He must have been either in her home, a home from long ago when she was a little girl, or he must have been somewhere in this region she had been dragged to so many years ago. So she set out to look for him.
Two months she had been searching with one thought in mind, “I need to find him, he’s the key to a chance at life”. Chanting that phrase ceaselessly for two months was enough to get her to the brink of insanity and she knew this. The days under the trees to hide from the pouring rain, the days she went without, the days the blazing sun would scorch her, the days she spent running from both humans and wild animals unable to protect herself, all that was enough to drive her to the brink of insanity.
But now that he was right in front of her, all that suddenly seemed like selfish madness.
She shouldn’t have come here.
She was about to turn around and think of a new plan when he suddenly asked her a question.
‘I am your mate?’
She could not believe it. The intake of breath that followed was involuntary. His voice was heavenly. It sounded like it was meant to sooth her. She wanted to him to keep talking. He could be saying nonsensical things and she would still be glad that he was talking.
‘I think so. You don’t feel it?’
‘I see a pregnant lady, a woman who was clearly interested in another man. And this lady claims that I am her mate.’ He was getting angry.
‘I know. I am three months pregnant and I am convinced that I am carrying a girl. That does not change the fact that I am your mate.’
‘And all I see is a lady who says she plans to fully use me. What is your plan? Force me to accept the child as my own?’
‘No.’
‘Then? Let me hear it.’
His friend was watching the exchange as if he thought the two would start a bout. Kate thought she was above that, but maybe her mate was not above hitting a woman. Wolves were violent creatures after all, and in all her planning she had forgotten to take that into consideration.
She shouldn’t have come here. But she was staying.
‘I need you to introduce me to your Alpha.’
For a moment he just looked at her and she felt self-conscious. How long had it been before she took a proper bath/ surely the rain did not count, and definitely not the accidental swims she took as she was running from animals and trying to hide her scent. Her hair must have given up on giving her a womanly look, and her scent must have been repulsive.
‘I just need you to introduce ma to your Alpha,’ this time his friend gave her a disbelieving look, as if he could not fathom her words at all, ‘that is all I need from you.’
If she was her mate, she would have told her that he did not owe her anything. If she was in his friend’s shoes, she would have went back into the car to avoid this awkward encounter all together, or better yet, she would have filmed the whole thing and showed everyone just how shameless other people could be. She was judging herself for sure, but she had to have realistic expectations. What had she been thinking when she had come here?
That is why when he spoke up with a much calmer, although detached voice, she was surprised. ‘Why do you want to meet the Alpha?’ she knew she should tell the truth. She had already said the worst possible thing, so she stuck to the truth.
‘I need protection. I just need you to introduce me as your mate. Then maybe he will let me stay for a while. Please.’
Then his friend finally spoke up and she decided she did not like him. ‘What makes you think he will care that you are his mate, for all we know, Jack could reject.’ He was right, that was why she did not like him. He should have stayed in the car. But he had said one useful thing and so she decided to forgive him for minding her business, he had mentioned her mate’s name – Jack. Ordinary, plain. His name perfectly reflected how he looked. Do names tie people down? She should be careful when choosing her baby’s name.
‘I don’t need him to accept me. I just need to meet the Alpha.’ He scoffed. Turned around and headed straight for the car. He was leaving. Her only hope was leaving.
She knew she had handled the situation wrongly. Arrogance and undue pride. She had shown no remorse for robbing Jack of the mental images he had of his mate, he must have expected a mate that was in one piece. A mate that would simply be his. She had ruined that and she had the audacity to demand things to him.
This was wrong.
‘Wait, Jack! Please wait.’ He stopped, but his hand was on the door knob. She should only think of one thing that could keep him here with her. And so she did the one thing she had promised to never do to any other man. She got on her knees.
If there was pride, arrogance, all that seemed to have no meaning to her in that instant. She would allow herself to lament the moment later. Her life was more important.
‘I am pregnant. I am your mate. I did plan to use you for protection, I planned to use our divine connection to get what I need. I apologize, I do. Please do not leave me out here. Please help me. I am begging you. Please’
Sometimes we lose everything and we stop hurting when we lose more. That is how she felt when Jack turned back to face her, scoffed again, then left and entered the woods. She wished she could cry, even her tears had given up. He was her last chance at survival. As painful as it was, she had nothing to help her survive. She was no one.
So when Jack’s friend told her to get up and get in the car, she simply collapsed on herself. Whether the loss of strength in her limbs was from malnutrition or relief, she did not know not=r did she care. She had one last chance to survive and she did not know how to show her gratitude. That was when she cried. Streams of tears, uncontrollable and comforting, rolled down her cheeks and she thought ‘maybe not all is lost,’
The Alpha had been informed of her arrival by Jack, apparently he had called. She should thank the mate she was rude to. He was not a heartless man after all. According to the Alpha, Jack had specifically asked that she be placed in the librarian’s quarters, and that she should be assigned as the librarian’s assistant. She would be allowed to stay, she would be given the work to provide for herself. She had been accepted into the pack as Jack’s mate on the condition that she would leave in a year.
‘Why is the time limit a year?’
‘Because,’ said the Alpha, ‘Your baby would be 6 months old by then. And if you work hard enough, you can learn of a way to support yourself outside of this pack in a year.’
Considerate, they had been considerate and kind to me. This was more than I had expected. I would not be selfish. I would not be rude, arrogant. Enough of that madness.
‘Thank you, Alpha. I am sure I would have died if you had not given me this chance.’
The Alpha was a huge man, as were most alphas. However, she did not feel the immense pressure I felt from the brute of an Alpha that I had run from. I could tell he was very powerful, but the pressure was not there.
On the way to my assigned quarters, Jack’s friend, who had introduced himself as Hayden, told her that contrary to what she was thinking, Jack was not someone powerful within the pack. He was not at ll related to the Alpha. He had managed to tell the alpha where I was to stay and where I would work simply because he owned the library. What did owning a library even mean, was that a worthy investment in the first place? Still, she was grateful that Jack had lived up to her expectations of a mate.
That night, sleeping under a roof with a clean body and clean beddings for the first time in 2 months, she cried. Not for joy, but she pitied herself. She had been reduced to nothing. That realization was enough to crush her soul.