Kapitel 14: 14) Her
Edward
"I knew I should have never told you!" I snapped at Amanda, who sat on my bed wearing one of my shirts which was practically a dress on her. I had no idea why she constantly stole my stuff when she also stole Marcos', her husband.
"What am I not allowed to help my brother figure out his sexuality!" she gasped. The little human was manipulative and evil, I seriously considered pushing her off the Great Wall of China when we went there when she was just sixteen. I should have, I would have been in jail, but at least at peace.
"I'm not gay!" I yelled angrily pulling on my suit pants.
"And Marcos dick is small," she sarcastically rolled her eyes. Amanda was one of those people who literally had no filter and had mentioned multiple times how huge her husband was. She was the definition of cringe. I had no idea how she ran her business. "Ever heard of bisexual before?"
"Amanda in order for me to be bisexual I would need to be interested in more than one man. So far it's only Vasili," I huffed tying up my tie.
"Aha! So you are interested!" she jumped on the bed like a mad person. How was she twenty seven, a wife and a mother when she acted like a toddler?
"No. Well yes, he is just a friend. Plus he has Mary," I tried to sound confident, but anyone could hear the doubt in my voice.
Amanda tilted her head to the side whenever she did not understand something. She frowned a little and patted the spot next to her indicating she wanted me to sit down. So I did. She took my large hand in her tiny one, "Eddie I know this is going to sound crazy, but I have always looked up to you. Don't be cocky and all of that, but I can see it in your eyes you care about him. I know you are confused and everything, but you can never truly know until you try."
"But what can I do? I don't want to try to pursue whatever we have only for him to figure out he is not into me or he loves Mary. What if I go through all of this only to find out I was simply experimenting?" it pained me to say it, but it was true. We all knew I was the type to pursue something then after a few months get bored and dump them. I would never forgive myself if I did that to Vasili. We all knew this would have been simple if it was just another woman, but a man. There was so much more to lose.
"I get your point and I know after the one who shall not be named, who I really want to punch in the throat and pull her hair out," she was referring to Selena, "You've been hesitant and second guessing yourself, but you deserve to be happy even if it is with another man. Just try, but not too hard that it pushes Vasili away just let him know. Give him space to figure out if this is what he wants as well."
"I hate how right you sound," I smiled at her. She gave me the huge adorable smile that closed her eyes because her cheeks would just swallow them up.
"I'm a love doctor. Now you can't try to catch a man dressed like his dad," she referred to my suit.
"What? I really like this suit," I pouted looking down to the black material.
"For a funeral," she rolled her eyes then proceeded to rummaged through my closet.
Two hours later, a new outfit, Amanda forcefully made me get a new haircut and tweeze my eyebrows which honestly brought tears to my eyes. She was not playing around when she said she was going to make me look like a new man. She dressed me up in ridiculously expensive skinny jeans that were ripped, a black and gold Versace button up shirt that had this nice loose effect and showed off my chest a little. She forced me to wear a gold chain and a few rings to make me look tougher and they really did.
My hair was no longer the curly puff with trimmed sides, but was cut short with two lines on the right side. I still had a curly mane, but it looked more like a mow hoke in a way. Some curls landed on my face enhancing my now perfectly sculpted eyebrows and made my hazel blue eyes look even more intense. Even though it was a pain Amanda made me look damn good. She was truly the best little sister.
I gave myself a small pep talk and did some breathing exercises before stepping out my Bugatti. Already the entrance was lined up with photographers as I walked up to the restaurant. Immediately there were flashes in my face and questions, but I simply gave them a polite smile.
"Good evening Mr. Coleman. Let me show you to the table," the hostess said leading me to where Vasili and Mary had booked a table.
As I walked through the restaurant I captured lots of attention and had to stop once or twice to take pictures. Finally I spotted Mary and Vasili, she seemed to be talking, but Vasili did not look too interested in whatever she had to say.
She wore a long sleeve black dress and her hair down. Her cheeks always seemed to be rosy and cheerful, and I felt something wash over me. Whenever he looked at her I could see the adoration in his eyes for her, he loved her and it was so evident she loved him too. I felt like turning around and leaving. I could call and make up an excuse of why I could not attend, but just before I turned around Mary looked in my direction.
"Edward," she smiled and stood up. Vasili lifted up his head to look at me and even though I could not hear him I could make out he whispered a 'wow'. That gave me the courage I needed to know I looked good.
"Mary you look beautiful," I kissed her cheek as she blushed.
"I love the new look," she smiled as I sat down. It was a square shaped table and I decided to sit next to Vasili with Mary facing me. He still looked so shocked about my appearance since his mouth was agape and he was desperately trying to get words through.
"Hello Vas," I smiled cockily. He was dressed in denim jeans and black button up shirt that had the sleeves rolled up. His hair was pushed back and he looked amazing.
"Ed," he finally breathed out. Mary stared at him questionably. Soon our waiter took our orders.
"I hope Vasili isn't giving you any trouble," Mary smiled at me referring to work.
"Not at all. He is actually quite good at his job. Has very talented hands too," I knew to her it was about engineering and architecture, but by how Vasili choked on his drink told me he got the message.
"That's so good to hear. In the beginning he struggled a bit with the work," she frowned and took his hand in hers. He gave her a smile and once again jealousy coursed through me.
I clenched my jaw at how they stared at each other with so much adoration it nearly made me flip the table over and storm out. 'You're thirty five Ed be mature.' I breathed in deeply and exhaled to calm myself down. Our food arrived soon after, we chatted about Marys work and the project with Yavok. Vasili commented here and there, but mostly avoided my gaze. It frustrated me, but it was not like I could lash out in front of Mary.
"Actually I have a surprise announcement. I was actually able to get transferred here for work. It will only be for a month, but I thought it would be perfect for us," her words made my appetite leave me immediately. I dropped my fork which created a loud clatter. One of the waiters quickly rushed to me to hand me a new one.
"That's amazing Mary!" he looked so excited and happy it made me feel sick to my stomach.
"Excuse me," I rushed to the restroom. Her surprise was like a bone crunching weight. If she was here, he and I would barely see each other except for work. The little routine we had would fly out the window. I felt a sense of panic rise in my chest as her words played over and over in my head.
As I paced up and down the restroom door opened. Vasili walked through and his eyes immediately connected with mine. He had a sad look on his face. He stood in front of me and I just wanted to so desperately have my hands on him. It was like he could read my mind as he took my hand in his. I immediately laced our fingers together. He rested his forehead against mine.
"I'm sorry," he said it so softly and weakly I knew what that meant. It would always be her.
"It is fine," I sighed. He looked into my eyes and gently pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was so gentle and slow it felt more like a goodbye than anything else. I knew we would still be friends and hang out, but whatever kisses we shared last night would never happen again. My lips pushed against his harder and he willingly let my tongue slip into his mouth.
He tasted so fucking amazing I could not imagine life without it. It was so addictive that I never wanted it to end. "I hope it makes up for Mary," he gave me a sad smile.
"You love her and you deserve to be happy. I could never give you what she can," it hurt for me to say it, but it was true. With Mary he could live a normal life, have kids and not face whatever discrimination he could get for loving me. Vasili looked devastated, but he knew it was the truth. With me he could lose so much. He simply nodded. I pressed a kiss on his forehead and we got ready to go back out.
When we got back to the table I told Mary and Vasili, I had to leave for a work emergency. Mary was completely understanding, although Vasilis silence spoke volumes. We were both longing for each other, but it just could not happen. He deserved to be happy with her and even though I was selfish I could not change his life forever like that. No matter how badly I wanted him to want me like he wanted her I knew it would never happen.
'I think I am one of those people who will never find love and keep it' I thought to myself. It was depressing and bitter, but it was true.
I was always just meant to be alone. In a way I belonged to everyone, but I belonged to no one.
Not Selena nor Vasili.
Geschenke
-- Geschenk
erhalten Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein