Kapitel 35: Into the action(6)

We split up and went to where the equalist protester would show up the next morning. On the way there Nya asked me.

"Did you know that this was going to happen? If you do, do you know where they took Bolin?"

"How would I know?"

"Don't play dumb with me, you just showed me yesterday how good your prediction skills are. Did you know that Bolin was going to get taken away by the Equalists?"

"No, I didn't. It might seem strange but I don't know a lot more than most people. The only difference between me and other people is how I use the information I have. I didn't have the slightest idea that this might happen. There were a lot of wild cards on the table. For starters Bolin himself is a wild card, you can never know what he's going to do next then there is Shady Shin. I didn't expect him to meet Bolin and offer him a job. Like I told you, some things are easy to predict some aren't, the more people there are the easier is to predict usually. It's quite a challenge to predict what a person will do with 100% certainty. Did this answer your question?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I didn't want to upset you, I was just confused and scared I'm not going to lie after the talk we had yesterday... I... I started to feel a little paranoid, I don't even know the reason I asked you this, I know that you wouldn't put your friends in harm's ways."

"Haaaaa, now you see the reason I didn't want to tell you. The more you see through the deceptions of the world the more you start to think everything is a deception."

"How do you do it? How do you manage to trust people after you saw so much of the true world?"

"I didn't, at least not until grandma died. I saw the world as a trap that wanted me to start to trust people and the moment I trusted someone that person would backstab me. That isn't to say I didn't trust people at all. I trusted granny with almost all my being. But that's about it, for you, Zane, Kay, I simply had contingencies for everything, it was tiring.

Then she died and something broke inside me, the only person I trusted, the only person I loved, the only person I cared about until then died and I couldn't do anything. I felt... silly, I made all those plans to protect myself from you hurting me but you didn't, she did, no that's wrong the world betrayed me.

You remember the following period, the first week I was in denial, I couldn't believe what was happening, I couldn't believe that she died just like that. Then I went to get revenge, I tore through half of the city to get revenge and the only thing I got was even more pain. I was even disgusted with myself. Then it finally hit me, she was dead and I couldn't do anything, she was dead and I was alone, I had nobody to care for me, I had nobody to care about, then you came.

You guys were by my side through all and I didn't even realize it. Do you remember when we went running and you told me you were there for me no matter how bad things got? That was the moment it finally hit me, I finally realize how stupid I was. I wasn't alone I had you guys, you were my family, and all this time I kept you at a distance when all you wanted to do was help me. I wasted so much time trying to find ways to protect myself from you that the moment I realize it made me feel for the first time in my life pathetic.

From that moment I started to see you like family and to stop seeing the world in such undertones of black. After that day, for the first time in a long time, I started to see how bright the world really is. It made me realize that the world wasn't only betrayal and pain it was also full of love and trust."

"...I'm sorry..."

"What for? You didn't do anything wrong, the one that should apologize is me, I was a jerk and you guys deserved a better friend. I'm sorry for not being a better friend to you Nya, I truly am."

"DON'T SAY THAT! You were and still are the best friend and boyfriend anybody could ask for. You had a rough period, but who hasn't one at least once in their life, what's important is that you pulled through and became a better person.

I know you care about all of us, I know that you truly love me, I know that you change but you never were a bad person or a bad friend. You could have used us and then thrown us like garbage after, but you didn't, you convinced us to learn alongside you, and thanks to that we all have good stable jobs, you taught us how to think and how to respond under pressure, you taught us how to be better people.

How can you call yourself a bad friend when you are the reason we have such a good life now. You might have missed but we all are thankful for what you did for us, we trusted you and you didn't fail us and that's all that matters.

I don't want to ever hear you say that you are a bad friend and don't let anybody tell you that because you are the best friend a person could ask for. You are dependable, caring, loving, approving, empathetic, and I love you for those qualities."