Kapitel 42: Chapter 41
UNEDITED-
Anna POV-
"I've made breakfast, get dressed then come eat.. ok?" Florence said as she left the room closing the door behind her.. I didn't even have time to reply.
I got dressed and threw the bedding back on the bed before leaving the room.
"That smells delicious, what is it?" I asked rubbing my eyes..
"Does that really smell appetising to you?.." Bea asked in disgust, prompting a laugh from Florence..
"Yes it does.." I replied happily as I made my way across the room, taking a slice of the slimy greyish meat and biting into it as I sat down.. it tasted a little fishy which I didn't mind too much.. Florence had collected a salad of wild greens that went perfectly with it.
"Bea sit down and eat, you need it.." We need to stay energised.. and that means eating while we can.
"Only the skrill are savage enough to eat crogs." Beatrix retorted.. After a raised eyebrow from Florence she finally gave in, sitting at the table with us to eat. We all had a strangely normal breakfast. Bea only complained a few more times. I think she needs to taste what they were feeding me for her to truly appreciate just how good this is.
After breakfast I decided to go for a walk a little ways around the mountain, to see if anyone was snooping around. I love being outdoors.. it's so quiet, just the wind and the chirping of birds.
I look up, half expecting to see the cement ceiling but everytime it's the sky.
I'm trying to cherish the little things because they never last.. fleeting moments that come and go with the wind..
I keep thinking about what I must do, but everything is so chaotic right now it's hard to form a plan. Before it was only my life that was being threatened, but now there is a child's future in my hands aswell.
Perhaps that was the Wolf Kings biggest mistake.. giving me something worth fighting for. Not to say these people are meaningless to me, but this is personal.
Maybe I should do it now while his attention is on searching for me.. I could easily slip away and set his whole Palace ablaze..
They would never see me coming.. only there are two things wrong with my plan... one, I've lived in places like that my whole life, more than half of the people inside are good people.
His life is not worth theirs. And two... I want to see his face when I rip his lungs from his chest cavity, I need to know that he is really dead..
I was deep in my thoughts when a sudden sick feeling swept over me.. I bent over spewing my guts up behind the nearest tree.. maybe Bea had the right idea.. I think Florence must have cooked rancid meat or something..
After a few minutes I felt well enough to get back home, by the time I was halfway I felt completely fine.
I entered the cave to see Bea look back at me from the couch, peering over a book she had in her hands..
"You okay?" I asked as I walked over to take a seat nexto her..
"Yeah are you?" she replied looking back down to her book..
"Don't tell Flo, but I think she cooked something rancid.." I whispered..
"She's not here.. and what do you mean?" she said in a slightly confused tone as she turned her head to took at me.
"Where is she?" I replied ignoring her question.
"She went to check her traps.. what do you mean rancid?" she asked still confused..
"Like mouldy.. gone off.." I informed her..
"No I know what rancid means you idiot.." she replied trying to be serious but unable to fully hide her smirk.
"Ooh.. I mean I threw it up"..
"Anna you really are an idiot." she sighed placing her book face down in her lap and turning to me.. "You have pregnant sickness." her voice seemed weary of my reaction.. she spoke slowly and calmly like I'm a child..
"Oh." was all I could say..
"At some point your going to have to tell Florence.." she paused "if she doesn't already know" Bea mumbled as she looked away from me to the face down book in her lap.
"You think she knows?" I think it might be better if she does already know.. at least I wouldn't have to see the shock and sadness on her face.. No I don't want to imagine. I winced at the thought.
"I could hear it days ago and its only gotten stronger.." she replied, pity evident in her voice.
"I know.".. since I found out I could hear it I did my best to stay away from Florence.. but that isn't always possible.. she could have heard it so many times, Bea is right.. I just need to do it.
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After my conversation with Beatrix things seem a little clearer.. Florence deserves to know.. it's not like I really have a choice anyway as there is a little person growing inside me. I waited outside for Florence to get back.. luckily I didn't have to wait too long.
She smiled as soon as she saw me.. holding up her trophies in one hand.. two dead creatures that were the size of rabbits.. their heads were indistinguishable from their arses, as she had already gutted and cleaned off what I'm guessing were some undesirable bits.
I tried my best to smile like I meant it, but felt like I ultimately failed..
"Do you want to go for a walk?" She asked as she came up nexto me..
"Yeah.. I would." I replied still trying to remain calm.. I'm going to tell her. She will have the choice to leave.. I wouldn't force this on anyone. Hell I don't even know if she wanted children, or if I did. I don't have a choice anymore but she can still have a choice.. Florence put the corpses inside.. as she exited the cave she wiped her hands on a rag and threw it to the side..
"Ready?" She asked.. I just nodded unable to stop a real smile..
"You could have washed your hands.." I smirked..
"And keep you waiting any longer? I don't think so.".. she smiled back..
"How do you know I was waiting for you?" I asked trying to be serious..
She looked back clearly able to see through my act.. "I just know.." she made a small laugh and carried on walking ahead of me..
"Pft, whatever" I sighed, air slapping Florence after she turned around..
(Author note: I meant it more like wafting away: I'm sometimes bad at explaining).
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I walked through the forest with Florence a foot infront of me for another 15 minutes, we didn't say another word.. the silence between us is going to drive me insane. She knows I want to say something and she's letting me drag this out. Every few minutes she looks back to me with a small reassuring smile.. I hope she still looks at me the same way..
The sound of flowing water drew us near a stream, Florence crouched down to rinse her hands in the water..
"Florence.." I spoke quietly from a few steps behind her. She stood up, turned around, and just watched and waited for what I was going to say.. If I don't say this now I might never have the courage again.. I took two quick breaths and then.. "I'm.. I'm pregnant.." I admitted painfully, I closed my eyes as I said it, the words sound so alien to my ears... I looked back up to see her eyes flick away and back to me.. I have to say something else.. "I'm sorry I should have told you sooner."..
Florence's eyes welled up but not a single tear dropped.. After a few long seconds she slowly walked over to me..
"I'm sorry.." I said again.. unable to search my vocabulary for more adequate words.. maybe there isn't any.
"You didn't choose this.. it is not yours to apologise for." she calmly placed her hand on my forearm.. I could see sadness in her eyes but no shock.. had she been expecting this?..
"You knew." I sighed rubbing my hand across my forehead. I knew there was a chance but I really thought she didn't know. I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad.. I mean she knew and she's still here, but we are still in this situation.
"I did." she replied, gently taking my hand away from my head and holding it by our side, forcing me to look at her.. I see pity hidden behind her eyes but at least she is trying hard to hide it.
"Do you have any questions?" I asked... unsure of what else to say..
"I have many questions.. but I'm not sure that I want all of the answers.." she paused calmly looking around my face.
She took her hand from my forearm and gently brushed the back of her fingers across my cheek, before resting her hand on my shoulder and looking back up to my eyes.
I wasn't sure how to react, I was just mesmerised by her.. the way she makes me feel is indescribable. It feels like home.
"I want to know you, everything about you.." she continued. "I wasted so much time worrying about how bad you could be for me.. then you were gone and it hit me, how much happier I was with you around. All I could do everyday was curse myself for not accepting you sooner.. maybe you wouldn't have been out there.." she almost choked on that last past.. it's always difficult to see a strong woman crumble. Even more so the one you love most. Her hand slid a little ways down my shoulder to rest firmly on my chest.. almost like she is holding us apart. She looked down to her hand, why does she feel guilty for being cautious, she has a right to protect herself.
"That is not on you." I shook my head "He was coming for me whether I was in the middle of the woods or asleep in my bed.. please don't think any of this is somehow your fault." I couldn't help but sound hurt, I didn't expect her to be blaming herself.. just as I finished my sentence she cupped my face in both hands, she placed her forehead gently against mine and closed her eyes.. I kept my eyes open a few seconds more, I couldn't help but steal a few more glimpses of her, it's rare even for me to see Florence vulnerable. I love these little habits she's adopting.
I closed my eyes wrapping my arms around Florence's waist, it's moments like these that make me wonder if we were really made for each other.. not just drawn to one another.
After a peaceful 30 seconds she planted a long kiss on my forehead and then dropped her hands to my shoulders.. as I stood looking into her eyes thoughts of how we would raise a child together began creeping in, how do I even know if she wants this? She could think I'm getting rid of it.. if they even do that here.. in my world abortions are fairly common.
"Do you know what your saying yes to?" I had to ask, I waited anxiously for a few seconds for her to respond..
"Anna.. I know what I'm saying yes too." she smiled.. "Do you?" she laughed..
"Do 'I' know what I'm saying yes to?" I asked smiling too but slightly confused.
"I'm not an easy person to Love." she still smiles but I could tell she was being genuine..
"If you saw yourself through my eyes you would disagree.".. I replied honestly and without hesitation. Her smile faded, she looked from one eye to the other and back, she was looking for something.. maybe a hint of a lie, but she won't find one. After a few seconds the corner of her mouth began to curl into a smirk, a few more seconds and she couldn't help but smile..
She leaned into me planting a soft kiss on my lips before retreating a few centimetres away.. I looked down to her lips.. the only thought in my mind is I need more. I closed the distance kissing her back, only I didn't pull away.
A passionate kiss ensued, my hands slid down her waist, I reached down to grab her butt cheek firmly but ended up grabbing it harder than I had intended. As I did she let out a small involuntary moan. She seized up a little as she surprised us both before relaxing her body again.
The thoughts that began creeping in my mind next were a bit on the explicit side.. I stopped the kiss before things went any further, another minute of that and I might not have been able to stop. I don't want to make her feel like she has to do anything. Although she seems experienced, I know she isn't.
A flustered Florence blushed as she brushed a few loose strands of hair from her face after we parted. "You are so beautiful" was all I could say and think.. Florence smiled coyly.
"Then why did you stop?" she asked curiously.. I didn't expect this...
"I didn't want to degrade you. Your special, you deserve special." I replied with a half truth.. the rest is that, I'm pregnant with a sick cunts child and my body feels disgusting to live inside of.. I don't want her to touch me like that when I feel like this.
She reached up to trace my jawline before replying.. "We should probably get back.".. she's right, the sun is setting and it's getting cold..
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NOTES-
This has taken awhile to write..I wrote the first half like 3 weeks ago and the rest today 6th nov. well the 7th. Its now 3:30am.
For some time I've felt like I've written myself into another hole. I'm not sure if I like writing in POV style, and honestly some parts of the story makes me uncomfortable to write but these are things I have to get past to continue writing the story.
I write it as I imagine it would happen. To disconnect myself from what I'm writing is difficult, but I said I would finish the story and I will. I know how annoying it is to get half way and have the author stop writing, no matter how bad the writing is..
Anyway as always I hope you have enjoyed reading. Take care of you and yours!!
Peace.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
Twink_98
Twink_98 If you see a mistake, just say. Most of the time its because I'm typing too fast on my phone and forget to reread, or I do reread but I reread it too fast and miss it anyway.
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