Kapitel 23: Farewell my friends

Dune and Sheila were buried inside the graveyard behind the church. I woke up just in time for their burial. They took the liberty to patch me up with bandages and herbs. It hurt to move around but… I had to. This was the last time I could see them.

There were tears on everyone's faces but no one cried. It was as though everyone had already enough to cry. I couldn't fault them.

The burial was over and one by one everyone left, even Milai.

"Forgive me Dune. Forgive me Sheila. I've failed you." The sky was cloudy, and so was my heart. All of this was my fault. But honestly, I didn't want it to end like this. I wanted it to change. I wanted this fate to change or perhaps I wanted the world itself to change. But I was powerless.

As the slow warm summer rain fell on me, it was time, I accepted my fate. I have to leave. I couldn't stay in this village anymore and I knew it.

I couldn't sleep. I was staying in an abandoned house. There were plenty of such houses now. The curse still persisted but there were no more new casualties, at least not after my return. Most of the infected villagers were already finished. The rest wouldn't last long either. This village didn't have a future, and I knew it.

Cries from families all over the village could be heard in the dead of night. So I am the harbinger of calamity here too?

I quietly walked out from the house. It was a little past midnight. Insects were going on about their daily life. My eyes were sharp and keen to light. I wonder how they are doing on the wall. With the demon gone, there shouldn't be much development. I felt uneasy. I knew the undead wouldn't pose much threat anymore but couldn't calm myself down. I was too injured to be on the wall, but honestly it was because I didn't want to. Now that I took a good look at my wounds: the potion, the herbs and the bandages were doing their work. I didn't have too much trouble walking.

The village was lit up in the night. Every house had a fireplace close to their houses, to protect themselves in case of a surprised attack from the undead. But, as a result fires often broke down within the village. Talk about an infrastructural dilemma. So there was a separate force consisting of women within the wall who were always on standby in case something like that happened.

I walked close to the pond. This was the only place in the village where no one lived. The pond was kept clean because of it. There were fireflies floating around: a majestic scene of warm light over the grass and water. A calm breeze flew by as small drops of liquid dropped from my cheeks.

The night I came to this world, the sky was filled with stars but there wasn't a moon in the sky. I later found out that this world's moon hadn't been seen for more than a few thousand years now. The moon is now believed to be a legend. Hard to digest but it was true.

Light of the stars bounced off the pond and I could see shining moving dots on water, as though white ink dancing on black paper. It was a wonderful sight. Very photogenic, but I wasn't moved. I don't know how long I was here but I couldn't think of anywhere else to be, not even my bed.

Before long, thoughts of my life came crawling back. My family hated me. I never blamed them for that. In fact they were right to do so. My friends despised me and one by one we all drifted far away. Was I so much of a burden? Why must everything be taken away from me? Haven't I already suffered enough? Within my sadness, anger lingered in. I could feel the shivering of my legs, the rising of my heart, my chest burning with regret and anger. I could feel them all. They hurt and I clenched my chest. Something must be done. My teeth rattled against each other.

I steeled my resolve. This couldn't go on. I wanted to scream. I didn't hold back. I'd done enough holding back. Not anymore. "Fate, if you think you can do whatever the hell you want with my life then you have another thing coming. I WONT GIVE UP!" My voice resonated with the wind. "I don't give a fuck if you're a God or something that doesn't exist, but I WONT GIVE UP! I WILL GO BACK!"

It was past midnight and if that woke up people then so be it.

A powerful breeze blew over my head, calming my soul and re-establishing my flimsy resolve. I now had a goal, I now had an aim. I will go back!

I didn't care if God, Fate, Devil or whatever ruled the world: all I cared was how the hell I'd get out of this world, and escape the fate something else decided for me.

With tears streaming down I pledged my oath, I would return home no matter what and prove destiny wrong. That way I'll be able to laugh at whoever brought me here.

The next morning I left the village.

I was covered in bandages. Milai didn't come to see me off and nor did anyone from her family. Why would they? I knew that if I stayed in the village, all of them would be in further danger. The best I could do was to distance myself, from them. But I couldn't tell them that I was the reason. I couldn't tell anyone in fact. Maybe I was being selfish, maybe I was protecting myself. But I couldn't tell them.

A lot of villagers had perished. The remaining ones looked pale and skinny. Grief really was the worst disease.

A villager pointed me in the direction of Moire - the city of dreams or so the locals said. Misrael also talked about this city; maybe... They also said Moire was one of the only cities in the entire country which had a sustaining population and guards to stay safe despite being in front of a forest like this village. It wasn't surprising as it was a city after all. But during this time a fearsome monster is supposed to be lurking there. In winter the monster hibernates and people can travel safely, but during summer traversing the mountain was impossible. At least that's what they told me. It didn't stop me though.

I didn't get a horse this time. I was alone. I didn't want to make those horses go through any more than they had to either. It was better this way.

But getting to Moire required traversing the vast grass lands and that monster filled mountain. It was not something normal villagers would want to go through to reach this so called city of dreams.

But I have to go. I can't dwindle anymore. My mind was made up. With little rations that the villagers provided, I set out on my journey. This was the best thing to do. I wanted to see Milai one last time to say my farewell but I couldn't muster up my courage.

"Take care." Samel bade me farewell. He'd have to take our place on top of the wall form now on. My heart didn't ache as much as I thought it would. I didn't look back.

The gates closed and my journey began. Hard to imagine just a few day ago everything was so peaceful, and now it all fell apart.

As expected, the grasslands were full of diversity which included various monsters. Most of them were the oversized version of everyday animals like birds and squirrels and weren't hostile. But then there were things like the goblins. Some moving plants were also buzzing around in the grasslands. I wondered how I missed them the first time I came to this region. Maybe my body was too focused on getting to the village rather than sightseeing.

Monsters were a natural occurrence, and even the villagers couldn't explain their origins: I didn't expect them to know either. Since I couldn't get much information I decided it wasn't worth scratching my head over. Once I reach Moire I'd be sure to look into it.

Walking around with a chest wound was not easy. I had to stop every few steps and sit down on the grass. And with the blazing hot sun screaming above my head, it was hot, burning even. By noon, I was totally exhausted.

I took rest by a large tree. My chest just wouldn't let me go without a rest. The location was quite close to the mountain. I was amazed at how much progress I'd made even with my wounds.

With blazing sunlight came intense tiredness. So a short rest was in order, even though my mind was against it. The grass was small and the tree had enough shade to feel comfortable. However, I didn't realize I'd be falling asleep as soon as I leaned against the tree. I was careless but couldn't help it.

Oh Alicia… don't go… And I was having that nightmare again.

My ears twitched and I was rudely awakened by strange chuckles. But my body twisted and became active rapidly as it recognized the sound. It's scary what a person's autonomous system can achieve when pressed against the wall.

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