Kapitel 41: Chapter 41: 39 (Taesung's Viewpoint)

Taesung's POV:

She was hugging another man.

I couldn't feel anything. All I felt was blankness in my mind. The huge teddy fell on the ground and I started walking but didn't know where I was going to.

Was I too late? Why didn't I ever notice? There wasn't anything noticeable. We had been living together for months, but I had never seen anything. Did she love him from the beginning? Or was it just today? Did he propose her today? Perhaps, she said yes.

I felt a throbbing pain in my chest and couldn't see anything clearly. I saw everything blurred. My legs didn't want to walk. They stumbled and I fell down the floor.

' Noona, hugged another man and lied to me. She never lied to me. Why did she lie today? She loves him. She loves him! I am too late. I should have told her how I felt. I should have had courage. I am a coward.'

It seemed, someone was clenching my heart. It was suffocating me.

"Noona." I was sobbing before I could realize. I couldn't take this pain anymore.

"Noona." I was going to lose her. She wouldn't be mine.

"Noona." She loved someone else.

My whole world crumbled and fell the moment I saw them embracing each other.

' God can't do this me. God can't take away my last hope.'

She was like a sunshine in my life. She brightened my dark world and made me happy. I could finally smile, laugh, be happy and be at home with someone. Finally, after years, my heart started desiring love. If God had to take away my happiness, why did God give it to me in the first place? I was okay with my life. Why did God give me hope and taking it all away?

My head was dizzy, my heart was clinched, my vision got blurry and like a pathetic loser I was crying. I was crying for the girl that I loved but didn't love me back.

' Liquor, I need liquor. I need to forget this pain. I need to forget her, forget today, forget my past, forget my every misery. I can't take this anymore. I will die if I don't forget every thing right now.'

And I ran. I ran back to the restaurant and looked for the sojus. I didn't know how many bottles I emptied. I hated liquor since my 'father' named monster was a drunkard. He used to drink and abuse my mother, sister and I. That's why I hated it deeply. But now, I thanked the person who created liquor because my sanity was disappearing. Everything seemed like a dream and magic to me, as if this night was just a part of my imagination. When I would wake up tomorrow, everything will be alright.

I emptied as many bottles as I could. Finally, I could feel my pain disappearing. Colorful! Everything was colorful. Bright! Bright sunshine! My sunshine! My Noona! Noona?

How did she come here? She was wearing that same white frock she wore when the first time she appeared in my dreams. She was here. Why was she here?

"Noona? When did you come?"

She smiled at me and came nearer, sat down on the table. "Taesung, why are you sad?"

Didn't she know? "Don't you know?"

She giggled and messed with my hair, "Stupid boy! I don't love him."

My heart skipped a beat when she said it. There was a hope! I could see it now.

"Then whom do you love?"

She giggled again and bent down, and whispered in my ear, "Don't you know?"

When I was going to touch her and shake her and ask her 'I don't know, tell me, who he is.' she disappeared.

I looked around, completely dumbfounded, "Noona?" Where did she go? She was just with me. Did she go back to home? She had to give answers. I needed to know who she loved.

I turned on my heel and ran to my destination, where my Noona and I lived together.

After reaching to the fourth floor, I stood in front of our door. I hesitated, what if she wasn't here? What if she was with him?

' Coward. Open the door.'

I opened the door using my spare key, and then I saw her, the love of my life standing a few feet away, looking completely devastated.

' Is she really here? Is she real or is it just my imagination?'

She looked relieved one moment and the next she looked angry. She was marching toward me, but something stopped her in the midway.

She whispered, "Taesung?"

Her one call jerked my whole body. A shiver flowed from my spine to my every nerve. That's how she effected me.

Then again I thought, did she effect that man like this? When I looked into her eyes, she looked astonished. Her eyes widened, and her intoxicating lips parted in shock.

I slowly took steps and stood a few inches away from her. I could feel her breath fanning my chin.

Her beautiful face became visible to me. I wished, she would adore me the same way I adored her. Those precious eyes looked into mine, piercing my soul. I cupped her delicate face. My eyes roamed her face. Was she my same Noona?

' I need answers.'

"Do you love him?"

"What?" She asked, looking completely dumbfounded.

"Does he care about you more than I do?"

' Please say No, please say its only me.'

I wanted to know what was in her heart. Her heart, which I wished to live in. Which I considered as my final destination. Did that bastard take my place?

I removed one hand from her face and placed it lightly, right above her heart. I couldn't have a chance to feel the soft flesh underneath my hand, my sorrows were numbing my every nerve.

' She is supposed to be mine. Only I should have the chance to hold her, feel her. Not him, not anyone else.'

My vision got blurry again. Damn these eyes! Why didn't these eyes stop spilling out? "Does he live here? Does he own your heart?"

"Tell me Noona. Do you love him?" My voice was betraying. It was trying to crack.

' She should know, it's only me.'

"Noona, he can't love you like I do. No one can." Salty tears rolled down my cheeks, "No one will ever love you like me. No one will understand you like me."

"Taesung."

Her melodious voice pulled me towards her like a magnet. I couldn't move, couldn't think of anything else but just her voice. I wanted to hear my name a million times, just from her.

' She is mine. I won't let that bastard take away what is rightfully mine. I will kill anyone who will stand in my way. I won't let him take away my bundle of happiness. Never!'

I got closer to her until our nose touched, and we inhaled each other's breath. Her minty breath, mixed with her flower scent was too much intoxicating. She smelled like jasmine.

' Tell her.' My subconscious mind instructed me, and I listened to it. "I love you."

I wanted to taste this intoxication on my tongue. So I pressed my lips on her, inhaled her breath and finally, I planted a very gentle, sweet kiss.

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