Kapitel 47: You Made Me Lost My Mind

"Don't touch me, please." she sobbed, hugging her knees.

Noah's hand was left on the air. He was confused about why Jess was crying. He clenched his hand into a fist and slowly lowered in on his knees.

He sat down in front of her in a seiza. He held the urge to embrace the crying Jess in his arms. The longer he watched her wept the tighter the ball of his fist has become.

Time passed with Jess sobbing was the only sound heard in the house. He slowly released the breath he was holding in his chest and gently picked up the frames that fell down from the wall.

He checked it one by one if there is any damage. Thankfully none was broken. He piled the photo frames and gathered them in his arms when he stood up. Without saying a word he put them back on the wall.

He wasn't sure though if he put them back in their original placing. After, he slowly made his way to her kitchen, opened the fridge to pour some glass of water. He also turned on the coffee maker to make some coffee.

He went back to where Jess was sitting with the glass of water. "Jess, here, drink some water first. We'll talk after." he put the glass on her hands that were still shaking.

'The poor girl must be in shock, with his action.' he thought in regrets.

He left Jess still slumped on the floor, gripping the glass of water in her hands, as he went back to the kitchen to get the coffee. He surveyed the kitchen if there was anything to eat in there that he could prepare quickly.

He saw a jar of cookies with two pieces left inside. He opened her drawer and found a small plate. He put the two cookies on them and arrange the plate of cookies and the steaming coffee on a tray that he saw on the kitchen island, then brought everything back to the living room.

He was relieved to find Jess sitting on one of the armchairs with her legs folded under her. He slowly put down the coffee and the plate of cookies in front of her. He picked up his own cup then sat across from her.

He sipped his coffee in silence. Jess nibbled on the cookies, not meeting his gaze. That's when Noah realized that Jess was being shy.

He chuckled softly in relief. He was worried that she cried for she felt terrible when he basically attacked her in her own home.

Well, it was consensual, he thought inwardly. And yet, he was extremely worried when Jess started crying pitifully.

"Sorry," she mumbled her apology, nibbling the second piece of cookie.

"It is I that should apologize, Jess. I am truly sorry if I scared you."

"You don't scare me," for the first time she met his eyes. "I was just… shock, I supposed," she said in a small voice, averting her gaze once again.

"Can I ask why?" he asked gently.

"No!" she answered hastily. Her face shown indignation as she answered him sternly.

Noah found her fake anger adorable, he laughed.

Seeing Noah laughing irked her. She put down the cookie she was eating and held her chin high, and asked the question she really doesn't want to ask.

"Why are you here?"

"Well… I forgot." seeing the disbelief and in her eyes, he continued, "I forgot the moment I laid my eyes on you."

Jess' eyes widened hearing Noah answered, and without thought she laughed.

"That just so sleazy even for you, Tiefenbacher," she said, shaking her head. Laughter was still visible in her voice. Yet, her face burned when she saw the seriousness in Noah's face.

Noah laughed with embarrassment when he realized what he just said to Jess. 'Darn, I'm acting like a stupid fool again.'

He scratched the back of his neck as he grinned, trying to downplay the embarrassment he was feeling. He didn't get to his age to act like a freaking teenager with uncontrollable hormones over a girl, he thought inwardly. No wonder Antonio has been poking fun of him.

But Jess, in some unexplainable emotion, was just so different. He had his share of fun with women ever since he was young. He was not oblivious to the fact that he is hella good-looking in any standard there is for a man.

Some women he pursued, mostly fall on his feet without much work from his side. But never has he had a woman that made his skin burn. Like a burning fever for a thirst that has no way to quench but to go to its source.

Jess made him lost all the composure he had gained with his age and experience. He gritted his teeth in shame.

Seeing Noah squirming in his seat with embarrassment made her a bit better. It's nice to know that it was just not her who lost control.

She picked up her coffee, inhaled its aroma, and sipped it slowly. Her thought was all over the place, she wanted to smack herself when she cried like a child that got her lollipop stolen from her hands.

She burst into tears in shame! And it is something that she could never tell Noah even under threat.

She was overwhelmed with shame when she realized she was brazenly clinging to Noah, moaning to his every touch like a woman parched for decades. She was mortified that she could want a man in such ardent desire she lost her capacity to think.

She prided herself as a woman who used her brain rather than her emotion. Her family and friends call her spinster Jessie not because she is old or looks old, simply because she always a logical one.

She never restrains herself from speaking her mind or limiting her action, for she believed that she always speaks and acts within reason.

That was until Noah. With him, her rationale crumbles like a bunch of legos that don't fit together.

Not only did she fail to use her reasoning skills, but she also let her body make the decision, like an animal with no capacity to think, simply following its instinct.