Kapitel 15: Chapter Six
"She did love me," Corbin whispered. He turned his face into Ivan's chest, his shirt soaking up Corbin's tears.
"I'm sure she did," Ivan told him. Ivan touched his fingertips to Corbin's cheek, causing Corbin to meet his eyes. "I love you, Corbin."
Corbin leaned into Ivan's touch, his tears leaking between the gap in their contact. "I love you. I love you so much. I need you."
Ivan brushed his thumb along Corbin's cheek, collecting fallen tears as he did. "I'm right here, my love. You've got me. You've always had me."
"Really?"
Ivan smiled, a small chuckle escaping him before he kissed Corbin gently. "What, you think I bring home everyone I meet that's in distress? There is something about you that drew me to you. It still draws me to you."
"What?"
"I don't know, I can't really describe it. When I brought you home after we ate...you were so scared...I wanted to protect you. I wanted to show you that not everyone would hurt you." He kissed him again, softer this time. "But more than that I just felt a pull toward you. I didn't question it."
"Why? I'm so broken. I'm nothing."
Ivan shook his head. "No, baby. You're everything. To me you're everything. And believe it or not, I wasn't in a good place when we met. And you helped me smile again. You've done more for me than you know, too, Cory."
"What have I done, Ivan? Please...I need to know my whole life hasn't been for nothing."
"I had had a bad breakup with this guy I had been with for a few years..."
Ivan came home early to surprise Julian. It was his birthday and he'd made arrangements to come home early for a romantic dinner. When he got home he heard unmistakable sounds coming from the bedroom. Standing there for a moment with his arms across his chest, he chewed the inside of his cheek before shaking his head, and with determination strode over to the bedroom door; which remained open.
Much more calm and collected on the outside than on the inside, Ivan nonchalantly strolled into the bedroom as if this was an occurrence that he witnessed frequently, grabbed a duffle bag from the closet, and began packing his things.
"Ivan!" Julian called to him in a state of panicked shock, neither of the two in bed realizing he was there until he opened one of the dresser drawers.
"Oh, don't let me interrupt. Please, continue." Ivan gestured toward them before turning to continue packing his things.
Julian, wrapping the sheet around his waist in a sudden moment of modesty, approached his scorned lover. He grasped Ivan's arms to turn him, but the movement backfired and he found himself shoved away. When his knees hit the side of the bed, he involuntarily sat upon its surface. "Don't you fucking touch me. You don't have the right to touch me anymore. I'll be back at an undisclosed time to get the rest of my things."
"And I left," Ivan said. "I called Sammy in an utter rage and crashed in his spare room until I found the apartment I was in when we met."
"Did you ever see him again?"
Ivan nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, when I went to get my shit. I was hoping he wouldn't be there when I returned, but he waited for me. I came back a few days later..."
Ivan didn't see Julian's car and half wondered if he'd parked somewhere else. When he opened the door his suspicions were confirmed as Julian sat on the couch. Ivan chuckled to himself as he closed the front door.
He said nothing as he walked past him toward the bedroom. He did not turn as he heard his former lover follow behind him.
"Ivan, can we talk about this please?" Julian asked as he grabbed a suitcase from the closet.
"Nope," Ivan said as he continued throwing clothes into suitcases.
"Ivan, come on. We can work through this. I'm sorry." Julian's pleading only served to piss him off further.
"Oh, you're sorry now? You're not fucking sorry, you're sorry you got caught and that's all. Well, now I'm doing you a favor. You don't have to sneak around anymore. Happy fucking birthday, Julian. Goodbye."
"And I left. And I left most everything there. I took my clothes. I took the few things my mother gave me before she died, and I left."
Corbin frowned. "You weren't upset? I mean...you seemed calm...I would have lost my mind."
Ivan pulled Corbin's chin up to meet his eyes. "That's not something you have to worry about ever. And yes...I was absolutely heartbroken. My father isn't really the nurturing type...I felt isolated growing up...even from my mother, even though she and I were closer than my father and me. I tried to steer clear of him most of the time. He never hit me, but he had a sharp tongue. Julian got me to open up, he made me feel wanted, you know?" Corbin nodded not wanting to speak and break Ivan's pace. "It was when I got back to Sammy's that everything went to hell."
Ivan walked into Sam's house, the place noisy with two energetic toddlers. He schooled his expression as two little girls came thundering down the hallway straight toward him.
"Uncle Ivan! Uncle Ivan!"
He put on a smile as his heart crumbled and scooped up both girls, who giggled. He kissed both their cheeks, the stubble on his cheek tickling their faces. "Go play, girls."
As he walked past Sam's office Sam called to him, causing Ivan to make a sharp turn right into the room. He closed the door behind him. He wrapped his arms around himself, standing in the middle of the room, feeling his world crumbled around him. "It's done. I packed up the rest of my clothes and what things I needed. I'm a fucking idiot, Sammy."
"He's the idiot, Ivan. He fucked up a really good thing." Sam squeezed Ivan's arm. Ivan shook his head but didn't comment, his eyes welling up against his will. "Awe man...Ivan..." Sam pulled Ivan into his arms just as the emotional dam broke. Quietly against his best friend's shoulder Ivan wept.
"I fell into a really deep depression after that. My work is the only thing in my life that didn't go on a down slide. I was still in that place when I met you."
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein