Kapitel 429: Chapter 429
"Why would I do such a stupid thing!" Erik said out loud to himself, alone in his office. He was finally making some headway back into the life he missed, the people he missed and cared for. The only people he had ever cared for. He had the opportunity to prove he was a different man. A better man, one they could rely on and he was going to blow it again. He had called his therapist the day before and explained what had happened.
"Erik, it's not the end of it. You told her the truth. Let her have some time to process it all."
Yeah yeah, he thought. He knew Pearl. She was too intelligent to just process things like everyone else. She could see him. She knew him. And he had ruined any trust she had in him long ago. The worst part is that he was being more genuine and more solid now than he was even before she met him and fell in love with him long ago. Sobriety and celibacy had done wonders for Erik. He had friends and a small circle of people he trusted and that believed in his recovery but his focus was always becoming a good man. Not for anyone else, but because he knew he truly was a good man under it all. Years of therapy and advocacy had made him a champion of mental health and healing. He chaired two non-profits for children's mental health reform and sexual abuse survivors and addicts. He was a licensed counselor as well as a solicitor. His speaking out on his story and his healing was highly sought after and his winning the last humanitarian award made him feel he truly was accomplishing what he had sought out to do. His life had taken an amazing turn for the better and the last part of that, the one thing he wanted more than anything, was closure and healing with Pearl and the rest of his family. Auggie had forgiven him but kept a distance. He saw Christian reaching out as the opportunity he needed to finally close the circle and truly heal.
A knock on Erik's office door interrupted his thoughts. "I apologize sir. You have a visitor and I didn't see them on the appointment log." His assistant seemed a bit anxious.
"Who is it?" Erik asked. "Is it the King's driver? I am supposed to go to the opening in a hour."
His assistant stepped further into his office and quietly whispered, "No sir. It's… The queen consort…Pearl. I don't know what to do?" She asked, fumbling. Erik felt his collar tighten and he reached up to loosen it for air.
"Yes. Ok. Send her in." Erik said, standing up and adjusting his jacket. His assistant returned a moment later and curtsied as she walked Pearl into the modern style corner office with windows giving a full view of the Thames.
Erik bowed. "Your Majesty." He said and motioned his assistant out.
"Erik, you know you can call me Pearl for fuck's sake." She said. He stared at her in silence. She looked incredible. She was wearing a bright Yellow Tiffaney lace Stella McCartney halter dress that made her look like a woman in her twenties. Her hair was half up in a teased pony. It literally took Erik's breath away to see her like that.
"Well, are you going to ask me to sit down?" Pearl asked.
"Yes. Of course. I'm terribly sorry. Just, a bit of a surprised, really, your visit." Erik motioned to one of the leather chairs positioned in front of his large Nordic Spruce desk. She sat down and Erik opted to sit in the chair next to her.
"You haven't been at the palace in over two weeks. I thought we were planning something." Pearl said, looking at him. He noticed her mouth. Her lips were still full and beautiful and were covered in a shiny taupe gloss. He remembered her mouth. Her kiss. How he would kiss her for hours, just taking in her breath, the taste of her mouth…
"Erik…?" Pearl asked, bringing him back to the present.
Stop it, fool! He thought to himself.
"Yes. Sorry. I haven't been back because of the conversation we had. I felt terrible making you feel, well, making you feel anything really, regarding me and the past. I shouldn't have done it and I wanted to stay away. I know you already weren't pleased about my presence there and I just wanted to give you some time to… I don't know. I felt badly. That's it really." He couldn't even speak to her properly. "God I sound like an idiot, stumbling and stammering. I am so sorry." He said, standing up and pacing a bit around the room. "Forgive me." He ran his hands through his hair. Pearl stood up and walked over to him, close enough that Erik could see the slight glitter flecks in her eyeshadow.
"There's nothing to forgive," She said. "I have lost sleep these last several days. Thinking about all of it. All of it, between us. What happened. The pain. The deceit," she began. He put his head down. "The love," she said. He looked up at her, searching her eyes.
"I realized something. Something very, very important," she said. He leaned against his desk, still standing in front of her.
"Christian made me see it. He gave something rather unexpected. Raising him has made me understand… you."
"I don't understand." Erik said, still unsure of where this was going.
"I conditioned him. Hours and hours of training, education. This is how a man should be. This is how a king should be. This is how you speak on television. This is how you walk. Everything. Even down to the way he holds his goddamn tea cup." She explained.
"Yes. I am quite familiar and I understand that. But what does it have to do with me?" He asked.
She took a step closer to him. He felt his pulse quicken.
"He obliged. He did everything he was told to do. To the point of hiding a person he loves from me. He was the perfect boy. The perfect prince." Erik searched her eyes for more. What did she mean by all this?
She leaned in even closer. He could smell the peppermint on her breath.
"What if I added murder? Or lying? Or fraud to the education? What if I told him these things are necessary as well, like his polished shoes and public speaking voice?" She asked.
"I would hope he would never be told that." Erik said, feeling a lump growing in his throat.
"But what if I did tell him that? Would he not execute those duties as well? Would he be able to say no?" she asked.
"No." Erik said, his voice shaking, stifling his body's urge to break down. He was trying to hold it together but the memories of his father began to appear in his mind. The hurt and the torment were too much. He put his head in hands and avoided looking at her.
"And at the time, I was so angry at you. I felt you deserved seeing me with Sebastian. I felt you deserved it all. But now I realize how awful that must have been for you. If you truly did love me, that is," She said.
He sobbed.
He felt a touch on his shoulder. Then another. She was pulling him into her arms and he didn't know what to do. He felt he might faint. She held him strongly and moved her hand to the back of his head, running her fingers along his hair. The energy shared between them was like an electric current that had built to an extreme level and was now breaking. Relief. He felt relief. A wave of peace. Finally, as he was held by her, in her arms.
"I forgive you, Erik." She whispered. "And I understand now, the little boy that grew into a man and did what he had to do." At those words, he broke. He sobbed in her arms. He didn't think he would ever stop but after a long while, he finally did stop. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. He thought the desire to kiss her would break him even worse but he held back. Their eyes locked, in silence, with a new understanding and healing. So much healing.
"And I want you to know that the palace is your home. You belong there. Christian wants you there." She said, stepping back and looking out the floor to ceiling window.
"But do you want me there?" Erik asked. He didn't want to be there if she still resented his presence.
"Yes." She said. "Very much so and that scares me a little." She said, looking back at him and then back out the window. He wanted to run over to her. To pull her into his arms and kiss her, feel her, take her. The love he had for her was still very much alive inside of him and he was grateful for it. He knew then, at that moment, that his therapist was right all along. He was capable of truly loving someone and she was, and always would be, the love of his life.
"Thank you." He finally was able to say. "I will plan on moving all the way in by the end of the week."
"Very good." Pearl said. "Now, we have an opening to attend." She smiled at him and his heart stopped. She smiled. At him. Smiled.
"Yes. Right away, then." He said, motioning to the door.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein