Kapitel 29: Chapter Twenty Nine
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I felt disgusted with myself. I was the reason for so many bad things because I was just so egoistic to desperately enter this world. I knew that there was no use in moping and I moved on with my life but the end of the year was reaching closer and closer and I had a harder time pretending to be okay.
Tribble was increasingly quieter and Tutor Lina held great pity in her eyes as she looked at me. Father was the worst of all three, he barely came home and when he did he barely looked me in the eyes while talking to me. Only at night, he thought I was sleeping he would give me a kiss on my forehead before leaving again. It progressively got worse I had been Christmas night and I had gotten a handful amount of gifts.
Nothing made me feel better, I spend my time with Freddie close by, he was my only comfort. Smiling became hard, so I just stayed emotionless, quiet only speaking when spoken to or when I needed something from Tribble.
it had been my birthday and even at my party, I could not muster a proper smile to hide it all.
"Pansy, what has been up with you," Now six-year-old Daphne asked. Even if she had been young Daphne was always very wary towards emotions. She could sense better than people would expect. "Nothing really just tired," I said back. I simply stood amongst the crowd and noticed an old couple next to my father staring at me. The man looked like father and me, but he was old and held a small beer belly. The woman next to him had brown hair with grey strands. She had an upright posture and no smile.
They started at me in silence judging me without words. I started walking towards them feeling nothing but tired. In reality, I was mentally so tired I felt like I could crash but I always had to pull through. I could not just stop here, not this young and not without Hogwarts.
I pushed through the crowd of praises and flattery and came to stand in front of my father. I silently put my hands up towards him, father looked tired as well. From far off it was hard to notice but I did. He looked miserable, although still put in the most beautiful clothing it was clear he had not been taking care of himself mentally. It was taking a toll on him as well as me. Father pulled me up with ease and gave me a small kiss on the cheek.
It had been a long time since we were like this and even then it felt different. I merely laid my head on his should and looked at the couple in front of us. They were without a doubt, my Grandparents. I started feeling drowsy I softly blinked a few times as I listened in on the conversation that took place.
"Oswin! It quite clear that you have not been taking care of yourself, and look at your child she is reaping the consequences of it. She looks so tired that she barely raise her arms. She did not even greet us her grandparents for Merlin's sake," The old woman went on. I had seen her portrait in the portrait hall. Helen Parkinson (Néé Bulstrode) married right after leaving Hogwarts and had one son. Father.
"I understand quite well mother, but I simply and very busy and Pansy has started increasing her lessons," Father said as a badly placed excuse. One no one would believe if they were in the right mind. "You say that but you still want to force the child upon us! I'd say that you both come to the manor, you are not dropping your child with us to just drink your days away," Grandma went on.
I felt a little less drowsy and felt giggles threatening to come out. Father was being scolded and there was hope that father would come along. I would not be alone with my parents he could not just drop me. I felt relieved and happier. This was the best news I could receive on my birthday, but I knew better than to think of this was over. Father was stubborn although he did not seem like it.
"Mother, please not here. You know I am not able to leave work and that visit but right now it is better for the child to be away. Like you said she takes over my emotions no, she feels bad because I do. I can not feel better when I feel chained I need to be able to mourn properly so let me," Father said back and I felt my hope shatter to pieces it became worse when grandmother did not say anything to refute his statement.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein