Kapitel 3: Staring at the Sun
STARING AT THE SUN
CHAPTER 3
BELLA P.O.V
Sleepovers had suddenly become a normal for us. Nearly every weekend we would either sleep at my house on the living room floor or we would sleep at Jacob's house with him on the floor of his bedroom and me in the bed.
Graduation was approaching fast. And today a package came in the mail. I was waiting for Charlie to get home to open it. I was sitting at the kitchen table when he came in the house.
"Bells?" He asked. I hadn't made dinner assuming that if I got an acceptance letter that he would want to go out to dinner.
"In the kitchen." I smiled. It was a good feeling to get a package this big. He came into the kitchen and looked to see if I had dinner ready. "A letting from Washington came today." I answered holding it up.
"And?"
"I was waiting for you to get home." I answered ripping the tab off and pulling out the folder. I opened it and right away saw the huge CONGRATULATIONS! right at the top.
"That's amazing, Bells! You're in!" I smiled and looked at him. "You did it!" He smiled hugging me.
"I'm so excited!" I right away ran to the phone to call Jacob. Then I realized I should probably be calling Renee first but Jacob lived here and he was here when I applied.
"Hello?" Billy answered.
"Hey, Billy it's Bella. Is he in?"
"He's actually with Quil. Wanna leave a message?"
"Sure. Can you just tell him I got in." I smiled.
"Will do. Congrats Bella." My smile got wider on my face and I got a little choked up.
"Thank you. Have him give me a call when he's around."
"I will. I'm so happy for you." I smiled and held the phone closer to my ear. "There's much more out there than these small towns. I wish you the best."
"Thank you, Billy." We ended the conversation so that I could call Renee. "Mom?" I asked into the phone as soon as she answered.
"Bella! It's so nice to hear from you! How are you?"
"I'm good." I sighed. "I have some news." I don't know why I was nervous to tell her. Maybe because she was assuming that I was either going to Alaska or somewhere warm. "I got into Washington."
"That's amazing! Congrats!" I smiled. I felt content knowing that I actually got in. "You deserve it."
"Thank you. I think I'll come visit this summer." Maybe I could bring Jacob. I knew he needed a break from the pack life.
"That would be great! Maybe after graduation."
"I have two airline tickets." I commented. It was the only thing that wasn't missing from what Edward took when he left. "Do you remember Jacob Black?" I asked.
"Of course I remember little Jacob."
"He's not so little anymore but I'm gonna see if maybe he wants to come with me."
"I think that would be lovely." She sighed. "How are you doing besides that?" Last time I had talked to her I was convincing her that I didn't want to move to Jacksonville to live with her.
"Better. A lot better. Sleeping has gotten easier. Classes are starting to chill out more. Made a lot of new friends down on the Reservation."
"That's great, Bells. I'm glad. I was very worried about you."
"I'm better." Of course I had Jacob to thank for that but everyday seemed to get easier. I don't know if I would truly ever be over Edward. At the end of the day he was my first love and I missed him everyday. But everyday it got easier to deal with the heartache. There was a knock on the front door and Charlie went to answer it.
"Hello Jacob. And friends." Jacob, Quil, Embry, Paul, and Jared all came into the house with smiles on their faces.
"Mom, I have to go. I'll call you soon." I smiled.
"Okay, baby. I love you."
"Love you too." I commented before hanging up. "What are you guys up to?"
"We heard the good news. We brought cake." Jacob said showing me the cake and hugging me with his free hand. "I'm so happy for you."
"Thank you." I smiled. "Thanks for the cake."
"Emily wanted to bake one but we didn't have time." Embry said smiling. He had also applied to the same school and got in about two months ago. "We're gonna cause a lot of trouble." He smirked giving me a high five.
"Should I order a few pizza's?"
"That's alright, Charlie. We eat a lot." Jake commented to him.
"Well I could grill. We have hamburger's and hotdogs." He added. "Bells?"
"I'm fine with that." I answered. "Make yourselves at home guys. Do you want the cake now or later?"
"Later is fine." Embry answered sitting down.
"Where's Sam?"
"Dealing with Seth and Leah." Paul commented sitting next to Embry on the couch. Charlie was in the kitchen grabbing what he needed to grill. I looked over at Jake.
"What?" Jacob glared at the back of Pauls head. "What happened?"
"Phased." Paul added.
"Can you shut up? Charlie doesn't know what we are." Jacob smacked the back of his head. "They're really struggling. Sam told us to take the day off so they wouldn't have so many thoughts in their heads."
"But I thought they only phase when vampires are around?"
"Well that girl has been around. And it was already set in motion with the Cullen's."
"Are they okay?" I asked leaning over the couch turning on the t.v so they could watch whatever they wanted.
"Seth is doing a lot better than Leah is. I mean for obvious reasons. She's stuck in a pack with her ex-boyfriend." Jacob confirmed. "It's going to take a lot for her to adjust."
"That's awful." It had to be awful for all of them. None of them had any privacy anymore. None of them asked for this. Charlie came and went out the back door while we all talked. "I hope you guys aren't giving her a hard time."
"Well, I'm not. But I can relate to her." Jake commented wrapping his arms around me as he stood behind me. "She's in love with someone she can't have either."
"You're in love?" I asked turning my head to look at him.
"Isn't it obvious? And you know, I'll be 17 soon. You're not that much older than me." I was still stuck on the fact that he was in love. In love with me.
"You're in love." He laughed burying his face in my shoulder. "Seriously?"
"I think so." He shrugged dropping one of his arms. I turned around and wrapped mine around his waist.
"Are you serious?" He nodded looking down at me.
"I'm serious." I breathed in before looking down. "What?"
"This is about to get really complicated."
"No it's not." He commented. "I'm exactly right for you, Bella."
"What if it doesn't work out? I don't want to lose you." He held my face between both of his hands as I still had my arms wrapped around him.
"I can promise you that you will never lose me." Tears brimmed my eyes and threatened to fall over. "I promise, Bella." I sniffled and tried to wipe the tears away before he could see them. Of course he was looking right at me and it didn't matter.
"It scares me." I whispered looking up at him even though he was blurry from my tears.
"I am not him. I'm not leaving." I nodded. It would always be my biggest fear. "He wasn't right for you, Bella."
"At the moment I thought he was." I said being honest. He held my head to his chest. His heart was beating out of control but he was calm. He was holding himself together whether it was for my sake or if he just didn't want to get his friends in an uproar over nothing.
"What do you think now?" He asked and I sighed letting my tears soak his shirt.
"I don't know. I'm so confused." I cried wrapping my arms around him tighter. I liked Jake. Probably not in the friend way that I should. I was heartbroken and confused and happy all at the same time and it was because I was in his arms. As close as I could possibly be to him and I didn't want to move. I didn't want him to pull back. I didn't want to go and face the world. I wanted to stay right here in his arms.
"It's ready." Charlie commented interrupting us. Everyone went running for the food while Jake pulled back and wiped my eyes.
"We're gonna have a bonfire tonight. You should come."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." He commented. "Let's eat." We all sat around eating together. I sat on the floor with Jake next to me while Jared, Paul and Embry sat on the couch. Charlie was in the chair and Quil was sitting on the arm of the couch next to Jared.
"Dad?" I asked. "Can I go to a bonfire with Jacob tonight?" I asked.
"Sure. Will you be home tonight?" He asked. I turned to look at Jacob.
"It's up to you if you want to sleepover. We'll probably be out late." He shrugged as she shoved another hot dog in his mouth.
"I'll probably just stay at Jakes."
"Alright great. Me and Billy are going fishing early tomorrow morning. I felt bad leaving you here alone."
"I don't mind being alone."
"I'll watch her." Jake said at the same time I did. "She'll be fine." Jake smiled.
"Are you two dating?" Charlie asked suddenly which made me blush. Did he really have to bring this up in front of everyone? I covered my face and groaned.
"Not yet." Jacob smirked. I smacked his back. "I'm working on it, Charlie."
"Jacob! Please." I groaned. I knew that these sleepover's were about to come to a full stop if he kept making comments like that. "Actually." I started. "I have two airline ticket's to go see my mom. Wanna come?" I asked Jacob.
"Woah. What? Where did you get those?" Charlie asked.
"Carlisle and Esme Cullen gave them to me for my birthday." I answered. "What do you think Jacob?"
"We'll I'll have to ask but I would love to go with you." I smiled and leaned into him. I could feels Charlie's eyes on us. The other's were used to us acting like this. I stood up and headed to the kitchen. Charlie followed behind me.
"So you and Jacob?" He asked. I quietly sighed.
"Please don't worry. We aren't dating." I assured him. "We're just friends." For now.
"For now. But do you want to be with him?" I know that he just wanted the best for me but I also think that he was hoping that I would just move on from Edward and who better than Jacob to do that with? Hell they tried to push it when we were children but I was always sent back to my mother and our friendship couldn't go anywhere.
"I don't know what I want." I answered truthfully. "I don't want to ruin our friendship." I didn't want anything bad to happen and then we hate each other. If I lost Jake, I wouldn't survive.
"Bells? Sorry to interrupt but are you ready?" Jacob asked peeking into the kitchen with everyones empty plates.
"Yeah." I took them from him and threw them away before slipping my shoes on and grabbing my jacket. "Bye dad! I'll check in tomorrow."
"Be safe." He commented.
"Always." I smiled following the boys out.
"Let's take your truck." Jacob commented grabbing the keys off the hook and going to the car. I squished in the middle between him and Quil while he drove and the other's were in the truck bed. "I'll have to ask Sam if I could take a vacation."
"I figured that's what you meant. But if you say it's already paid for there's nothing he can do. He can't hold you here."
"He's alpha. He can make me do whatever I want."
"You shouldn't have decided you didn't want to be." Quil commented.
"What?" I asked. Both boys ignored me.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"What are you talking about?" I asked gripping Jake's arm. "Are you meant to be alpha?" I asked.
"Yes. With my bloodline, I should be alpha. I didn't want to be so I let Sam take over. Really regretting that now." He sighed. He was so young. Of course Sam was too but Jacob was a teenager. There was no way he would be able to lead a pack of shapeshifters.
"Was your grandfather alpha?" He nodded. "So it goes by bloodlines?"
"Yes." Jacob confirmed. "It skips generations usually. Depends on how many bloodsucker's are around."
"Hm." I hummed to myself. Learning about Jacob and shapeshifter's were very interesting.
"Every new generation of Wolves are stronger and bigger than the last. My dad has theories."
"Theories?" I asked. "About wolves?"
"Yeah. About why we get stronger and bigger. Or why imprinting is a thing."
"Imprinting?" I asked. "Like that wolfy thing that Sam and Emily have?" He had explained it to me briefly before. I didn't really understand it.
"Yeah. Apparently it happens a lot but so far it's just been Sam." He shrugged.
"Do you get to choose why you imprint on."
"Of course not. Nothing about this life any of us get to choose." I frowned. "I mean would be great to have someone to love unconditionally? Yes of course but not getting to build a normal relationship with that person? Nah. I don't want it."
"What if it does happen to you?" I asked.
"I'm going to fight it." I looked over at him.
"Why?"
"Because I already love you." I smiled a little at his word and looked into my lap as I blushed. He threw his arm around me and held the steering with his other hand.
"You guys make me sick." Quil joked. "You're not even dating and it makes me feel disgusted." Jacob pushed him towards the door before resting his hand on my hip. He pulled up to the beach before everyone got out. I sat down on the sand and leaned against a log while I watched them all gather wood.
Jake sat behind me on the log and stretched his legs on either side of me. Paul lit the fire. I watched as the flames rose high in the darkened sky. We sat around talking. They told me a few stories before Jacob stood up.
"Walk with me?" He asked reaching out for my hand. I put mine in his and he pulled me off the ground before we started walking down the beach. I wrapped my jacket tighter around my body. He was walking next to me but stopped as we got closer to the where the water met the sand.
"You like me right?" He suddenly asked. I turned to look at him. I couldn't deny the feelings that I had been feeling for him recently. I had been feeling very confused but I knew that there was an attraction there. I nodded. "Can I try something?" He asked moving closer to me.
"Yes." I whispered. He held me by my hips and shoved his body right up against mine. He moved one hand to the back of my neck and the other was resting on my back. He moved his forehead to rest on mine before softly kissing my lips. I whimpered as he sucked on my bottom lip before attacking them again with his own. I moved my hand to wrap around his back to hold him to me as we kissed.
He slipped his tongue into my mouth and he tasted amazing. He turned so my back was to the water and his back was to his friends. I'm assuming so they wouldn't make comments about it later.
I pulled back to breathe before kissing him again. I brought my hands to fist into his hair making him moan into my mouth.
"Wow." He whispered pulling back. "Better than I have ever imagined."
"You've imagined it?" I whispered.
"You have no idea just how beautiful you are, Isabella."
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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Rangliste 
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Stein