Kapitel 15: chapter fourteen
the past few days past by like a blur, jimin and i kept spending our time together just like always. taehyung avoided me for a couple of days but then one day, he just started talking to me again like nothing happened.
everytime i would ask him if he was alright, he would answer with "why wouldn't i be alright? don't worry about me." which somehow made me guilty.
today was the start of our winter break which meant i had few weeks to hang out with jimin. he had been extra clingy and sweet towards me within the past few days, though i like it, a gut feeling can't seem to escape my mind these days.
"hanbyeol, hanbyeol!" i was snapped out of thoughts and saw jimin leaning towards me, waving his hand just a few inches from my face. "why do you always seem so distracted? are you alright?" his lips formed frowned, his eyes directly staring at mine.
"i'm alright, i was just thinking of something." i reasoned out, getting up from my bed and heading to my closet. "where are we going again today?" i asked while picking out my clothes, finally deciding with a simple shirt, pants and a cardigan.
"to the park, then to the cliff we went to and we'll spend the rest of the day here. let's enjoy this day like it's our last day together, yeah?" he smiled. why does he sound so sentimenal today? he had the same smile yet his eyes tell a different story.
even if i knew he was hiding something from me, i didn't confront him the whole time. i'm sure there's a reason why he's not telling it to me, i just have to put my trust on him, he won't do anything to disappoint me.
just as he said, we first headed to the park, taking a seat at the bench. he had his hand wrapped around mine, his grip a bit tighter than before as if he was scared i would slip away from him.
his eyes were fixed on the kids who were playing on the slides, laughing and talking among theirselves.
"don't you want to go somewhere else?" i asked him yet he shook his head no and turned to look at me, "what's the problem? you seem different today." i told him, my hand reaching out to cup his cheek when i reminded myself that we were out in the public.
"i'm jimin, of course i'm different. there's no one out there like me, byeol." he joked around yet he didn't seem as happy and mischievous as before.
"is it about your home?" he remained staring at me with a small smile on his lips, "if you want to go, then go. i won't stop you, i'll be fine here, don't worry." i flashed him a reassuring smile.
"you'll be just fine but i don't think i will. i don't think i could ever live another day in my life without you, hanbyeol. crazy as it may sound but i need you, i just really do." a small laugh escaped from his lips.
"i need you too but you have to go back someday, jimin. i don't want to hold you back, feel free to go, just tell me when." i don't want you to go, though.
am i selfish for wanting him to stay?
"when i do go, promise me you won't cry. promise me that you'll be happy and you'll keep that smile on your face. also, try giving taehyung a chance, open your heart out to him, it's not hard to love him." he said.
"that's too much promises, jimin. and i don't think i can fulfill any of them." i frowned, feeling my eyes starting to get moist as tears started building up.
"no, you're not gonna cry. no crying today, promise me that. until the day ends, don't cry." he muttered,
"not until i leave." he whispered which i couldn't manage to catch. "let's go to the cliff." he pulled me up and we both walked to the bus station.
"it's getting dark, let's go home." jimin got up from his seat, offering his hand out to me. i took it, standing up with the help of him and dusting my pants off. "we only have few hours left, i have something to give you once we get back."
we both headed back, immediately getting in a bus. my heart felt heavy all of a sudden, it was as if i felt that something bad would happen.
i turned to glance at jimin who had his eyes straight ahead, his hand tightly intertwined in mine. my eyes then roamed around the bus, they weren't that much people, just a group of friends at the back, a family seated in front of me and jimin, and some other people.
for some reason, our bus sped up too fast. my hand tightened around jimin's, my heart started thumping fast. please, let us get home safe.
"hanbyeol, i need you to change places with me." i did what jimin had told me, taking his seat. "don't let go of my hand, i promise i'll get you home safe." he smiled, placing a swift kiss on my forehead.
"we'll both get home safe." i told him yet all he did was to give me a smile. "jimin, promise me we'll both get home safe." but he never said anything else and kept his eyes on the driver.
what the hell is happening?
"hanbyeol, trust me, you'll be just fine. nothing bad will happen to you, i'll make sure of that." he stared at me, eyes full of worry. jimin suddenly seemed in panic yet he still smiled.
the bus continued speeding up and the people started to get worrried. the father of the family seated in front of us took initiative and went up to the driver,
the bus driver didn't seem to entertain the father and instead had his eyes focused on the road. it seemed like the man was demanding for the driver to stop the bus but to his dismay, the driver didn't answer.
"jimin, something's wrong with the bus, isn't? we're gonna get into an accident?" i asked him, jimin turned to look at me.
"i don't know but even if we do get in an accident, don't worry, i'll make sure nothing bad will happen to you." he smiled once again and tightened his grip on my hand.
and just like how we predicted, the traffic light turned red yet the bus kept speeding up. i was frozen in spot, "i'm here, i won't let anything happen to you." jimin had whispered into my ear.
and the next thing we knew, our bus tumbled over. jimin suddenly wrapped his arms around mine, hugging me tightly. shouts were heard and the only sound that filled my ears was the crushing of glass.
my eyes searched for the sight of jimin, he was laying next to me. his hand was still in mine, "j-jimin." i called out for him, my bloodied hand reaching out to touch his face.
i suddenly felt a pang of pain in my head which made me yelp. jimin turned to look at me, concern filling his eyes.
"hanbyeol, look at me. you'll be fine, after all this, you'll wake up and i promise you won't feel any pain anymore. i just need you to hang in there for me, just a little longer, byeol." his other hand cupped my cheeks, wiping the tears that were flowing continuously from my eyes.
it hurts, my whole body hurts.
jimin kept on muttering words, trying his best to comfort me in the midst of this mess. "it fucking hurts, jimin." i felt my vision blurring, my hands shaking while feeling the pain in my head.
"i promise i'll get you out of this mess. hang in there for a little longer, baby." he placed a swift kiss on my head, wiping my tears afterwards.
just a little longer, hanbyeol.
"a-am i going to d-die?" i asked him, my breath shaky. "will i die today, jimin?" my words came out as a whisper.
he shook his head no, "no, baby, no. i won't let that happen to you, you'll be fine." he smiled.
from the distance, i could hear the loud sirens of the ambulance and the police. yet at the same time, i felt my eyelids getting heavier and it was suddenly so hard to breathe.
the police and medical staffs started to help in getting the people out. they started off with the younger kids, making sure they can get out and be treated as soon as possible.
memories of today came rushing to my mind, i felt sudden rush of relief as i remembered jimin's promise, "i promise i'll get you out of this mess."
the pain subsided, my body felt numb all of a sudden. my phone started ringing and jimin went to get it from my bag. he answered it, placing it near my ear.
"when are you coming home? dad said we should eat dinner together and guess what, he actually asked a chef to cook all your favorites." i suddenly felt like crying again just by hearing my hyunjun's voice, "are you crying? what happened? byeol? are you still there?" he sounded like he was in frantic.
"h-hyunjun o-oppa." i called out, "help me." i cried harder and i felt jimin tightened his grip on my hand.
"where are you? turn on the location on your phone." his voice became serious, i hear shuffling on the other side and the engine of his car turning on.
i did what he told me to, turning on my location with the help of jimin. "be fast." i said before hanging up, i licked my lips and tasting a bit of blood. "i feel numb, jimin. i want to close my eyes, even just for a second, can i?" i asked him, feeling the heaviness on my eyelids.
"let's talk, c'mon. hanbyeol, don't sleep yet." jimin pleaded, tears slowly flowing out of his eyes as he sniffled. "remember the first time we met? the time when you didn't want to talk to me? or how about the time when we went to the cliff? hanbyeol, please don't go, not right now. i'm the one who's supposed to leave but why are you the one leaving instead?" he cried out, grabbing both of my hands and leaning his head onto it.
"do you remember when you kissed me? you said you confirmed something and i did as well, i like you. i like you a lot." i groaned when i moved slightly nearer to him.
"don't move, it will hurt more and i don't want to see you in pain anymore. i'm sorry, this is my fault. if only i didn't ask you to go out, if only we stayed at your home. i'm sorry, byeol." he cried out, his tears falling into my hands.
"i enjoyed what we did today, it was fun. don't blame yourself, it wasn't like you planned for this to happen." i assured him, wiping his tears with my shaky hands.
he smiled, "thank you, for everything. i wanted this day to be a great one but this happened." he bitterly chuckled, "you'll be home soon, hanbyeol. you have to be, no matter what happens, you have to go back. i love you, i fucking love you, hanbyeol and i'll do anything to save you." he cried once more, his thumb caressing our intertwined hands.
"i'm tired, jimin. i want to close my eyes, can't i do that? i want to rest." i told him, my voice not louder than a whisper.
"i'll see you there, i promise i'll be there. we'll see each other again, i'll make sure of that. hanbyeol, i love you, don't forget about me." he kissed my forehead, then my nose, before kissing me on my lips.
though i had wanted to kiss back, i felt too weak to even move a muscle. all i could do was cry while jimin planted soft, light kisses on my tear-stained cheeks. "i love you too, park jimin but don't follow me yet, as much as i want to see you again, live your life for a little longer." i flashed him a smile.
"i'll always follow you, wherever you go, i'll be there." he reminded me, wiping my tears and planting another kiss on my lips. "whenever you feel like it, you can go." he smiled.
and i did, i closed my eyes, the voices of my brothers suddenly in the distance. for a minute, i could hear them fighting with the medical staffs, asking them to get me out of the bus.
"get my sister out of there."
"we are still trying to get the people seated in the front out, you have to understand that we're trying our best."
"please get her out."
you can still be with them, physically or not, you'll be there for them. dying isn't leaving them, it's just being away from them for a while.
"i love you, byeol." was the last thing i heard before i finally rested, finally finding peace in the darkness that i was before afraid of.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein