Kapitel 6: First night of marriage

My heart is beating fast, and my soul is afraid. Actually, rather than scared, I feel nervous. Who knows in what state would I be if I didn't drink all that wine?

After the Duke and I finished eating, he accompanied me to the bedroom. The Duke called the servants to take away the food and turn the chandeliers off. Then, he left with an excuse.

Now, the room is dark, except for the corner where a lantern is glowing. There is a nightgown ready for me, but I'm too tired to wear something I'm destined to take off soon.

Wait... What if the dress is ruined? I'm not sure how rude Ethirian men can be, but they wouldn't dare to tear a woman's dress, right?

This gown is beautiful, and I've worn it only once. It would be such a pity to throw it away...

After thorough consideration, I wear the nightgown and sit on the bed.

The Duke is in a third room somewhere nearby. He mentioned something about his work before disappearing from my sight.

I don't know if I'm allowed to lie down before he comes here. I've never learnt this kind of etiquette because I wasn't supposed to marry out of Polis. It was my husband that would have had to follow our customs.

The nights are cold in the Empire, at least in the part that I crossed to come to the capital. I would feel warmer under these heavy covers, yet I can't risk breaking some untold rule.

When my feet become too cold to bear it, I lift them on the mattress and rub my skin until I feel some warmth again. The slippers are soft, but they can't do anything against the stone and marble. Not even the carpets shield enough of the coldness. Only some hot flames in the chimney could help me, now, but I don't think I should walk out of here right now. And I have no clue how to light a fire. I'd have to ask a servant to do it for me, which would attract attention to the fact that my husband isn't with me.

The Duke wouldn't let his wife alone on the first night, right? I'd prefer it if he did, though. I wouldn't have to wait for him. It's more tiring than actually doing something. He could consummate the marriage and then go to work. Why make me wait like this?

I'm already confused enough, there's no need to play games.

I lean my feet on the ground again when I hear the door. I pretend not to have noticed the Duke's steps.

«What are you doing?» he asks while closing it.

I turn my head and glance at him. What have I done wrong?

«Waiting for you, your highness,» I whisper.

«It's not 'your highness',» he corrects me, and I straighten my back in response.

I bite my lips and clench my fists. I didn't want my husband to remember that he's not an Archduke after my stubborn actions this afternoon.

«Here in Ethiro, we use 'your grace' for dukes and duchesses,» he explains, understanding my reaction too well.

His voice is gentle, and he looks so calm. Not a man that just lost part of his territories. It might not be just a facade. How low are the chances that he's not angry at me? I try to calm down my breathing, but it's harder than expected.

«It's a bit different in the rest of the continent, right?» he continues, pretending not to be paying attention to my sudden fear.

He reaches out for me and touches my hair. He unties the ribbon keeping my braid together. I wince but don't step away. It would be the worst action possible, in this kind of situation.

«You shouldn't go to sleep with wet hair,» he states. «And it can't properly dry if you tie it.»

He crouches down, reaching my hands. He presses them in between his.

«I knew it,» he sighs.

He then grabs my feet, and I startle once again.

«You're freezing!» he utters, slightly angry.

I open my eyes wide, following his actions closely.

In the end, I did break some bedroom rule. I don't know which one, nor what I was supposed to do. Still, the Duke's reaction is evident, this time.

He's not hiding his emotions while he pulls me up by the arms. He moves the covers on the side, and he forces me to lie down.

I bite my lips not to scream and simply follow his lead, lying down and obediently leaning my head on the pillow. He tucks the covers for me, and he finally relaxes.

My hair is spread around my head, and I can feel that some locks are still wet, especially the tips. However, the roots are dry, so I don't worry about headaches or colds.

«If I knew you would wait for me like this, I would have hurried up,» the Duke says, attracting my eyes like a magnet.

«I didn't know what I was supposed to do,» I try to explain. I really didn't know that cold feet and wet hair were so taboo in the Empire.

His fingers caress my forehead, and then my cheek.

«Sleep,» he utters. «You were supposed to sleep.»

«I'm not sure about the Empire's customs, but a husband and wife share the bed for the first night of their marriage.»

«It's the same here,» he confirms, and I can see his grin thanks to the little light that his body doesn't shield. He sits next to me, balancing his weight on the border of the mattress.

«Then, how come I'm supposed to sleep?» I speak.

After looking at me for a minute more, he seems to wake up from his thoughts. He shakes his head and walks to the other side of the bed. He's still wearing his day-clothes.

He isn't expecting me to help him undress, is he? I wouldn't know where to start. And it would be too embarrassing.

Luckily, he doesn't make any weird request, and I can continue to warm up under the covers. This is so much better.

I turn to the side and observe the Duke warily. I'm waiting for his intentions, but he doesn't pay any attention to me while undressing. He changes into nightclothes without worrying about my gaze. He's less shy than me, and he certainly doesn't have anything to hide.

I rub my slumberous eyes, realising that I haven't slept much in the last few days. I was trying to live to the fullest that my cage allowed.

Or rather, I was in so much fright that I couldn't close my eyes without starting to cry and whine.

«I can light a fire if you're cold,» he says.

I can't see his face because my eyes are already closed. What a pity, I wanted to shamelessly stare at the Duke some more. The muscles on his back are really something. I thought I would get my hands on them, but it looks like I'll have to postpone for another time.

I didn't even notice when I stopped resisting to slumber. I can hear what's happening around me, but I can't react nor move. And I don't really care.

«Never mind,» the Duke adds, supposedly when he sees my sleeping face. I'm not freezing anymore, so there's no need for a fire.

He lies down in bed, and I feel his warmth from here. Oh, if only I could move closer. Just a little!

He bows over and leaves a light peck on my temple.

«Good night, Thea,» he whispers.

I didn't give him permission to call me by name, let alone use a nickname. Only two people had called me like that in my whole life: my mother and my brother. Only one of them is still alive, and he's now looking for asylum in Asteria.

A lone tear crosses my cheek at the thought of my brother, all alone somewhere south. I hope the Duke doesn't notice, as it's a private part of me I'd like to keep secret. I've struggled so much not to let anyone from Ethiro think that I'm easy to scare...

I breathe, fighting against the lump that formed in my throat.

A warm and delicate hand wipes my tear away, while a gentle voice whispers to my ear: «Hey, don't cry.»

I try to turn away, but I can't control my muscles. I just manage to move my head and clench my fists, but it's not enough to put distance between the Duke and me.

«It's all right, Thea. You're safe, now,» he voices. He's not intimidating, nor overbearing. His words feel more like a plea than an order, and I can't help but calm down, sinking more profoundly into slumber.

Just like this, my first night as a married woman passes, and I wake up in the morning the same way I got into this bed: untouched.