"Dammit, my back hurt." Onoki grumbled with a grimace, "And here I thought I would outlive the old monkey bastard."
"Eh, you have better chances than him." Rei quipped, knowing that Tsunade could hold a grudge like no one and the mentioned poor son of a bitch was partly responsible for the demise of her clan.
And if the two special chakra signatures around her were any indication, Tsunade was going for a mental breakdown kind of revenge as far as Sarutobi was concerned...
Rei walked towards Temari, sitting down next to her and pulling her head into his lap with a small but proud smile, "You did great." He gently caressed her cheek.
Temari tried to smile back but it only prompted her to release a pained groan as her body hurt like hell.
"Admittedly, the result is not great but it's the effort that matters." Rei chuckled, flicking Temari's forehead when he saw her slightly pout at his words, getting yet another pained and whining groan from her.
Satisfied with her little 'punishment' for losing her focus during the fight, Rei started to heal her, spreading a comfortable and relaxing feeling all over her body, causing her to subconsciously turn over and snuggle her cheek into his thighs.
The sweet atmosphere between them was abruptly interrupted when they heard a shrill, "Grandpa!", making Temari's half-lidded eyes shoot open in wariness, her body involuntarily tensing.
On the other side of the arena, Onoki had the exact same reaction as Temari for all the different reasons.
'Kurotsuchi!? What is she doing here!' He thought, cold sweat washing over him.
He instantly tried to stand up and tell her to run, his brain no longer thinking logically as it entered a protective mode... but as he finally stood up and swayed on his feet due to exertion, Kurotsuchi reached him and shoved him back onto the ground, making him hiss from the abrupt pain in his back.
"What are you doing, old man!? You are hurt! Don't stand up!" Kurotsuchi admonished.
At that moment, Rei chuckled and Temari's wariness disappeared. Kurotsuchi just caused more damage to Onoki in one moment than what Temari managed to do in minutes of intense fighting.
Witnessing that was… hilariously humiliating for Temari.
"Kurotsuchi..." Onoki groaned, "What are you doing here?"
"I am saving your ass!" Kurotsuchi huffed as she kneeled beside him, trying to imitate Rei as she shoved Onoki's head into her lap... banging the back of his head on her bony thighs, making her grandfather hiss from the sudden blow.
When he instinctively tried to stand up, Kurotsuchi took him by the shoulders and forcefully pushed him back, making his back painfully crack enough that his body involuntarily bent with his chest sticking out, which made his eyes go wide and flooded them with a pain-filled look.
The poor Onoki couldn't even speak from the abrupt spike of pain.
Not that Kurotsuchi noticed what her actions did. Her expression was full of worry and resolve to make him feel better.
"Now relax!" She forcefully ordered, putting her hand on his forehead and pushing the back of his head once again onto her thighs, using a bit too much force so his head banged against her bones again.
If Rei didn't know she wasn't doing it on purpose, he would think she wanted to kill or cripple the old man.
'Damn. At this rate, I will have to save him from her.' Rei deadpanned.
Pakura and Konan, who had just arrived at the scene and now stood behind Rei's back, put their hands on his shoulders in a show of support. They could feel his exasperation but the spectacle in front of them was far too amusing for them to intervene.
Realizing there was nobody other than him who would step in before more harm could come to the old midget, Rei sighed and spoke to Onoki and Kurotsuchi, "Onoki, just listen to your granddaughter and relax. We have no intentions to attack you right now."
Onoki's gaze was redirected towards Rei, causing his pupils to constrict a bit when he saw and realized the dynamics between him and the three women around him. They all felt pretty powerful to Onoki and that just made him that much more uneasy.
"And who are you?" Onoki rasped in a tired yet cautious voice.
He had never seen the man who was so tenderly tending to Temari and that made him wary. With his information network, he should have been aware of all the major players in the world.
The man clearly had a close bond with all three women, of which one was Kazekage so that made him Iwagakure's enemy by default.
"Me?" Rei raised an eyebrow at him, feeling a bit mischievous. "I am Rei from Yozora." He quipped and shrugged, enjoying how Onoki became speechless at that admission.
Onoki choked when he heard that.
This was the bastard who invaded his village all those years ago and caused the rampage of one of their jinchuuriki!?
Onoki wanted to stand up and send a Dust Release Beam up the bastard's ass! But since his situation did not allow that, he was at least about to spew a string of very colorful curses at the bastard when Rei spoke again.
"Just earlier I visited your village and Suna's forces had already taken it over." Rei leisurely said and raised his head to look at Pakura as he reassuringly squeezed her hand, "Good for you, your plan worked flawlessly."
That stopped the last of Onoki's silent painful whining almost instantly, making him forget about the surging pain coursing through his body as his mind focused on the outrageous news he had just heard.
Onoki's heart skipped a beat and his throat went dry, his mind in chaos as the possibility of this being the truth sneaked into his thoughts. He couldn't help but turn once again towards Kurotsuchi with an unasked question in his eyes...
"Oh, her?" Rei noticed Onoki's gaze and decided to offhandedly elaborate, "She entered my service to save yours and your son's life. You are lucky to have such a diligent and loyal granddaughter."
"What?" Onoki breathlessly whispered and looked at Kurotsuchi, desperately looking for denial of this news. Iwagakure was supposed to be totally safe right now. He only took barely thirty percent of the village's forces with him to Konoha. There was no way anybody could...
But Kurotsuchi just curtly nodded, her eyes tearing up a bit.
Onoki's eyes suddenly widened as he grabbed at his chest and started silently gasping for air, thrashing around for a second before his eyes rolled in and his body went abruptly limp in Kurotsuchi's arms.
"Huh?" Kurotsuchi blinked before her brain registered what was going on and she immediately checked his pulse, using what she knew of first aid to try and help him all the while she handled him so roughly Rei didn't doubt Onoki had just gained several new bruises.
Realizing what was going on, Kurotsuchi frantically looked at Rei with a look of urgency, worriedly shrieking, "M-Master! I think my grandpa just had a heart attack! Please, save him!"
With a sigh, Rei carefully relocated Temari's head out of his lap before he stood up and walked toward the frantic Kurotsuchi who was holding Onoki's unmoving body.
He kneeled beside them and put his hand on Onoki's chest...
Onoki's eyes suddenly opened wide, his heart getting shocked to work again as electricity coursed through his body, wildly shaking him and making him spasm in Kurotsuchi's lap in an abrupt excruciating pain.
At that moment, he wished he stayed dead.
Rei used quite a brutal voltage but... eh, the old man was a Kage. He could take it.
Ten seconds of uncontrollable shaking later, Rei happily withdrew his hand from Onoki's chest with a satisfied smile, causing the old man to quickly gasp for breath.
Rei glanced at Kurotsuchi, receiving a thankful subdued nod from her before she worriedly looked back at Onoki who was finally slowly regaining his wits after being shocked back to the land of the living.
Seeing his granddaughter, Onoki smiled at her, "Ah, Kurotsuchi. I just had the most ridiculous dream where Iwa was taken over and you..." He suddenly stopped, owlishly blinking at the grimacing girl as a realization hit him. "It wasn't a dream, was it?"
Kurotsuchi apologetically smiled and mutely nodded...
Onoki's eyes once again rolled back and his body went limp in her lap.
Rei's smile froze and the corners of his lips started to twitch as he heard the soft giggling of Temari, Pakura, and Konan behind his back. They were apparently having great fun at his expense.
"Alright. We can do this all day, old man. I have time." Rei muttered under his nose as his eyebrows twitched and his lips morphed into a vindictive smile. Raising his hand, lightning chakra crackled in between his fingers...
Needless to say, Onoki got another ten-second body shake free of cost and once again woke up with a painful gasp and wide eyes.
"Will I have to wake you up again?" Rei asked with a twitching left eye, staring Onoki directly into his eyes.
Onoki understood the underlying threat in his words and with a tearful expression he slightly shook his head, "No, no more."
"Good." Rei nodded with a huff and turned around, walking back towards the three chuckling women.
...
It took ages for Kurotsuchi to explain to Onoki what happened in Iwagakure during his absence, and once he understood the gist of it, he stubbornly glared at Pakura through the rest of the explanation.
Thankfully, despite Pakura's smug grin, the former Tsuchikage could control his impulses enough to not start a fight he had no way of finishing.
Rei could see a smidge of grudging respect directed at Pakura in his gaze, though.
To be honest, Pakura was now the very first Kage who managed to conquer another major hidden village. An achievement that will write her name into the history for a very, very long time no doubt.
Only when the conversation reached the point where Kurotsuchi swore herself to Rei as his personal kunoichi did Onoki's glare swap targets, becoming even more heated as he willed Rei's death with his eyes.
Rei decided that giving the man an eye smile was a good way to lower the tension.
Alas, despite it always working for one unnamed masked ninja, Rei was no Kakashi and his eye smile worked exactly as Kakashi intended when he first invented the thing. It just pissed Onoki even more.
Only the recent memory of being brought to life by being shocked half-to-death stopped Onoki from trying to strangle Rei. Yozora or not, Onoki didn't know him. Unlike Pakura, Rei did not have an iron-clad reputation in the Elemental Nations. Somebody as strong as Onoki did not see a reason to fear an unknown like him.
It was exactly due to this kind of misguided courage that Onoki tried to argue Kurotsuchi's new life situation.
"You already took Iwa from me. Why do you need Kurotsuchi also?" Onoki gritted his teeth and clenched his fists to control his increasing temper.
Rei could have answered this in numerous ways, many of which would be ridiculing and would have served only to fan the flames between them but that would have been counterproductive.
He didn't take Kurotsuchi in because he liked her or something as asinine as wanting her to join his 'harem'. He had enough to do with his time with his current count of women vying for his attention. There was no need to add another to the equation.
He had different plans for Kurotsuchi.
Rei also knew Onoki was stubborn to a fault and he would never accept a half-hearted misdirecting explanation. Not when his granddaughter was involved. Despite his current weak position and battered body, the man still had balls of steel, considering the fighting spirit Rei saw in his eyes.
Killing Onoki would have screwed things up with Kurotsuchi so...
Rei sighed, "I will be honest with you. I want to make Iwa a satellite of Suna and after some training, Kurotsuchi will be put in charge of it."
Hearing that Kurotsuchi's head snapped toward Rei with disbelief written on her face. The second Iwa fell, she thought her dream of leading her village was a moot point. But her master now wanted her to do just that!?
In her teenage naivety, this only increased her subconscious loyalty toward Rei.
The idea sounded ridiculous. Anybody with positive intelligence would instantly say it was stupid because Kurotsuchi will definitely eventually try to rebel.
But Rei had secret weapons. Strict Pakura and no-nonsense Konan.
These two would teach the girl the ropes and Rei had no doubt self-interest would eventually win Kurotsuchi over to his side. And if not? The plan could always be adjusted accordingly.
"Once she is deemed loyal enough, you mean?" Onoki raised his eyebrow and sneered, but there was a barely visible relief in his eyes, and his body slightly relaxed.
Fortunately, Kurotsuchi was not in his field of vision right now or he would probably have another heart attack if he saw her giddy expression due to the news.
"Of course." Rei nodded, "There will also be various fail saves implemented to make sure she won't try to do something shady. You were a Kage. You must have an idea of how these things go." He tiredly sighed. To be honest, this topic was very uncomfortable for Rei.
But... it had to be said.
"We can't leave Iwa as it is now. The village is full of trained killers raised with the idea of the will of rock or whatever bullshit you spout in your corner of the world." Rei dryly remarked, causing Kurotsuchi to frown at his words but Onoki's lips just twitched upwards.
He was a Tsuchikage. He knew it was just propaganda. And yet, it wasn't. It was something that gave the loyal ninjas to push beyond their limits. It was their belief and source of strength.
"If Suna tried to occupy Iwa as it is, they would have lost control of it in five years tops." Rei continued. "The only way is to screen every ninja and slaughter those too loyal for their own good."
Onoki's expression turned grim. He was aware of these problems and he hoped the people in front of him forgot about them.
Even though he came to invade Konoha, he never thought of occupying it or taking it over. Controlling a village full of trained ninjas loyal to it was an exercise in futility.
Onoki was about to open his mouth to try persuading Rei from massacring Iwa's loyal ninjas when Rei spoke again, clearly waiting for this moment, "Or we could simply put in leadership somebody Iwa troops will trust and slowly make them used to the idea of being subordinated to Suna. Propaganda and belief conversion take time, ya know?" He playfully stated and enjoyed the sour expression of Onoki.
Frankly, Rei couldn't fault the old midget. He was talking about destroying the lifetime of his effort but... what could Onoki do? He could only frown and silently seethe while it was going on.
Once the innovations and reforms hit Iwa, most of the people will voluntarily stay under Suna if only because their living standards will drastically improve and their salaries increase.
"You want to destroy my legacy by using my family member." Onoki mumbled.
Rei didn't reply to Onoki's sentence. He could keep trying to persuade him that it was better for the world if the ninja villages united like this but for someone like Onoki, someone who spent his lifetime trying to make Iwa great and other villages weak, it wouldn't have mattered.
Just the idea was a direct offense against everything Onoki had ever fought for.
Kurotsuchi could only helplessly stare between the nonchalant Rei and the sullen Onoki, not knowing what to do to improve the mood, completely lost.
Onoki might have seemed resigned but he was a ninja. Rei knew the midget was already plotting how to use his plan to his advantage to take his village back from its 'oppressors'.
Unfortunately for him, Rei wouldn't let that happen. He finally got Iwa into his grasp... no way was he letting it go. The first chance he got, he intended to put a lot of surveillance seals around it, and give access to them to the loyal Suna ninjas overseeing the village.
No coup was gonna happen. Not on his watch.
After all, nobody said Onoki would be just let free to attempt one after this…
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