"I told you this will be a deathmatch between you two. As in one versus one, Orochimaru. I know such a concept is hard for your treacherous mind but I don't intend to let you break the rules I set." Tsunade spoke calmly with just a slight but obvious annoyance in her tone.
Inwardly though...
Where did the shitstain gain the guts to summon Hashirama and Tobirama with Edo Tensei right in front of her!?
She wanted to step in and pull his innards out of his stomach, enwrap them around his neck and strangle him with them!
But this was Sarutobi's great moment so she held herself back and just decided that Orochimaru was not walking alive out of here even if he won. Previously, she would have let him go while just secretly putting a tracking seal inside of him. The second he summoned her ancestors though... his life was forfeit.
With her piece said, Tsunade turned around with an audible 'hmph' and left Orochimaru and Sarutobi dully staring at her back as she approached the still disoriented Tobirama and Hashirama.
The atmosphere in the makeshift arena turned awkward as both Orochimaru and Sarutobi exchanged a sympathetic look full of understanding before they could stop themselves.
Both instantly shook in disgust as they realized what they had just done and the awkwardness turned to the more natural hostility and killing intent. Orochimaru might have lost his trump card but he was not giving up now.
'If I can't use the Hokages to kill Sarutobi, I will just have to use my own hands!' He spitefully thought.
After all, he didn't summon the Hokages because he thought he needed them to defeat Sarutobi. He summoned them because he thought it would bring Sarutobi anguish. Just because they were taken away didn't mean Orochimaru would be unable to go blow for blow with such an old senile coot as Sarutobi.
Neither was Sarutobi giving up. Instead of dropping his guard due to his perceived advantage, he became even more cautious. He knew how devious Orochimaru was and doubted the boy had no other trump card stored up in his ass.
Both again drew their weapons and rushed at each other before Enma met Kusanagi in yet another struggle for dominance. This time, a much more cautious one as neither Orochimaru nor Sarutobi dared to go all out in fear of being outplayed by their opponent.
A long battle of attrition and stamina started as medium and low ranked techniques flew left and right throughout the arena, devastating the surroundings within the sealing circle encompassing it.
...
While Orochimaru and Sarutobi were having their fun, Tsunade arrived near the two still immobile Hokages.
When Tobirama and Hashirama saw Tsunade...
"Oi, brother, doesn't that hot blond chick remind you of Mito? Why not try to flirt with her?" Hashirama spoke, thinking he was being quiet and from Tobirama's face, it was ever so obvious that if he could, he would have facepalmed.
God of Shinobi indeed...
Tsunade's fond smile suddenly froze for a second. She would have never thought they would not recognize her but... it was a few decades after all. Nevertheless, her left eye twitched in annoyance and her lips stretched wider, getting past fond and entering the territory of nasty and devious as she grinned at the two, her eyes gleaming the same way when she caught Jiraiya trying to peek on her.
'Uh-oh!' Tobirama and Hashirama thought as their eyes widened when they spotted Tsunade pulling her arm back in preparation for a punch. Their instincts told them to dodge and they definitely tried but...
They realized they couldn't move as they were still bound by the Edo Tensei and their expressions became dumb-struck as the world entered a slow motion for the two reanimated corpses and they could with a great reluctance clearly see Tsunade's first getting closer and closer, coated in a very concentrated chakra that became almost visible to the naked eye due to the sheer intensity of energy it contained.
The punch seemed to be extremely slow from their perspective but in reality, it was very fast. Before the two even managed to utter a sound, Tsunade's fist impacted the ground in front of them...
The entire Konoha could witness and more importantly, hear the resulting explosion as a dust cloud rose into the air above the Konoha's arena before instantly dispersing due to the shockwave that followed shortly after the first impact.
This was accompanied by such a loud crash it stopped half of the fights going on throughout the village. Even Orochimaru and Sarutobi momentarily stopped and looked towards Tsunade... only to see half of the roof missing.
Neither paid much attention to it though. Both knew Tsunade and this was nothing new. Violent tendencies and low self-control followed by property damage were her everyday modus operandi.
Since there was nothing out of ordinary, the two just shrugged and continued their fight.
Tsunade, with a self-righteous satisfaction, noted that both her grandfather and granduncle were disintegrated just as she aimed for.
Because their bodies were made by the Edo Tensei technique, the two started to be quickly reconstructed in front of Tsunade.
"Definitely reminds me of Mito... Ahahahaha!" Hashirama started to boisterously laugh, totally disregarding the fact he was disintegrated just a second ago.
"Hashirama... just shut up." Tobirama groaned. "Don't you see we have more pressing matters?"
"Huh? What could be more pressing than finally getting you a woman? Do you even realize you are already dead and still single? It's sad, Tobi!" Hashirama boisterously exclaimed and Tsunade had a hard time not chuckling. She could have sworn Tobirama actually blushed at that. But it was gone as quickly as it came.
Hearing Hashirama, Tobirama's face twitched. "I'll punch you."
"No, you won't. Neither of us can move. Tough luck." Hashirama grinned.
"Sage, just kill me again..." Tobirama muttered.
Just then the attention of the two men was attracted by the 'hot blond chick' who snorted at them, "Why, grandfather, I would have never thought you were into incest. To think you would offer your own granddaughter to your brother. Then again... it is a known fact that Senju and Uzumaki are related."
Tsunade chuckled, watching as the jaws of the two reanimated men dropped and both unconsciously gave her a once over. Not the kind of look a man gives a woman but rather, the type a grandparent gives their grandchild after not seeing him or her for a long time.
After a moment of stunned silence full of bewilderment, Hashirama was the first to regain himself. "Ts-Tsuna!? Is that you!? You grew up!" He eagerly exclaimed with wide eyes full of shining stars that made Tsunade want to take a step back.
"Oi, calm down! You are scaring her!" Tobirama rebuked, "Besides, she is right. You just offered her to me. Creep." He snarked in deadpan.
"Wha-?" Hashirama blinked before furrowing his eyebrows. His expression suddenly turned sharp, "Oh, no, no, no! You are not getting anywhere near my sweet Tsu-chan, Tobirama! Even if it would mean you dying a virgin, I forbid it!"
"I am already dead." Tobirama retorted, "And I am not a virgin..." But then he noticed Hashirama was too engrossed in observing Tsunade in fascination to listen to him, "and he is no longer listening to me. Typical." He tiredly sighed. If he could, he would have shaken his head at his brother's antics.
"As funny as this little conversation of yours is, I am already taken." Tsunade said and showed them the ring on her finger, knowing only something like this would stop them from bickering like children.
"..." Silence instantly fell onto the two of them as they looked at each other.
As the satisfied Tsunade was about to start talking again, the two spoke at the same time, threat gleaming in their determined eyes, "Who is the dead meat?"
"I think we have much more important things to do than you giving my decade-long husband a shovel talk." Tsunade dryly deadpanned.
Inwardly though, she really wanted to deflect that particular topic. Having her grandfather and granduncle trying to intimidate Rei would be extremely embarrassing for her. It had to be avoided at all costs since it would give her sister-wives ammunition to laugh at her for months.
Speaking off which...
'I don't think neither of these two would appreciate the fact I am not Rei's only wife. I can already imagine grandfather being his hasty self and trying to beat some manners into Rei for being a womanizer while granduncle tries to stare him to death.' Tsunade sweatdropped and her determination to delay their meeting with Rei, preferably until... never, increased.
"She is right, Hashirama." Tobirama, bless his heart, decided to switch back into his serious self.
They were both extremely gifted sensors with loads of experience so there was no way the war raging in the middle of Konoha could escape their senses.
In fact, Tsunade noticed Tobirama's fingers slightly twitch while he joked around with Hashirama. He no doubt wanted nothing more than to go and defend the village. The only reason why he was still here was probably the hold Orochimaru's Edo Tensei had over him and his experience.
As an experienced ninja, he knew that leaping blindly into a fight was just asking for trouble. Tobirama hoped Tsunade would provide more information on what was going on. That's why he steered the topic back to the ongoing invasion.
Hearing him, Hashirama's face sank for a moment. His lifelong wish to prevent war by creating a village failed. This situation was the biggest proof of that.
It lasted only for a second though and before Tsunade could even blink, Hashirama's face hardened. Dreamer, he might have been but he was first and foremost a ninja. And no matter how childishly he acted at times, nobody gets called God of Shinobi by being kind to people. Especially not his enemies.
Seeing her ancestors being completely serious, Tsunade nodded in satisfaction before she started speaking, "Konoha was just invaded by Orochimaru's-"
"Wait! That pale skin and yellow eyes... Isn't that Orochimaru?" Hashirama interrupted, faintly remembering small, four-year-old Tsunade complaining about a genius in her class once or twice before he died, "Tsuna-chan, what is your first crush doing, invading Konoha?" He asked with genuine concern and curiosity shining in his eyes.
Tsunade groaned and facepalmed as Tobirama chuckled. He too could remember how annoyed little Tsunade was that she was not first on this or that academy test.
"He was NOT my crush!" Tsunade exclaimed, her embarrassment showing on her slightly pink cheeks as she glared at him.
Hashirama grinned at her reaction but refrained from teasing her further. Her glare reminded him far too much of Mito and that was one woman even the God of Shinobi did not want to piss off.
It really warmed his dead heart to see his granddaughter all grown up like this.
"Are you sure? I distinctly remember-" Tobirama didn't have the natural filter only men married to an Uzumaki woman acquired and so he decided to go for a slight tease at Tsunade's expense.
He didn't get far as before he could finish that sentence, Tsunade's fist impacted the center of his face at speeds even he could not see and his entire upper torso was blasted to smithereens.
"Yes! I am quite sure!" Tsunade irritably exclaimed and Hashirama winced. Yes, this was exactly the brutality of an 'Uzumaki' woman. He would know, having Mito as a wife.
Now that he thought about it, he actually pitied Tsunade's husband!
When Tobirama finally reformed, Tsunade was not in the mood for more jokes so she started explaining the situation.
"The invasion is not as bad as it might seem on the first look. In fact, it is merely a training exercise for our troops." Tsunade dismissively said and both Tobirama and Hashirama couldn't help but to gape at that statement.
Enemy ninjas were traversing the streets of Konoha and fighting was going on throughout the village... where exactly did she get the gall to call it just a 'training exercise'!?
'Did the common sense get screwed while I was dead?' Tobirama thought in shock.
'Mito... our granddaughter is not very smart. Sigh. I wonder whose genes spoiled her.' Hashirama wistfully sighed.
Tsunade could see on their faces that they thought something rude but considering what she had just told them, she couldn't really blame them. Instead of doing what her impulses were telling her to and punching the hell out of them, she opted to do the patient thing and try to explain more.
"Just... try to sense deeper, especially the chakra signature on each of the civilians. It should clear things up a bit." She said, knowing that at the very least her grandfather was skilled enough sensor to recognize what was going on if he really tried to sense deeper.
Hashirama indeed did as Tsunade asked, and when he noticed what Tsunade was trying to point out, his eyes widened.
"You must have an excellent seal master at your side... to think such incredible shielding seals could be deployed to each civilian. Mito would have been totally dumbfounded, hahaha!" He started to boisterously laugh.
His mood lightened and his worries eased. As somebody who had one of the best seal masters of his time as his wife, Hashirama could recognize seals just by the feeling of his sensory abilities. He could not perfectly tell what the seal did but various seals had various 'feels' and chakra had its potency.
That's why he could tell these seals on civilians were meant to protect them and what reassured him was the potency of the chakra infused into them.
At least, the civilians in Konoha were totally safe.
Tobirama didn't need an explanation. He was also a good sensor. He might not be on Hashirama's level but with a bit of context due to his brother's previous sentence, he realized what was going on and he found himself giving Tsunade an approving look.
Unlike Hashirama, Tobirama focused more on the readiness of Konoha's forces and he could feel them all not only sporting similar seals, if only a bit weaker, but also moving in a coordinated fashion to counter the enemies.
Konoha was clearly well prepared for this attack.
"My husband is the best seal maker in the world!" Tsunade smugly proclaimed, "As you can see, there is no need to worry about Konoha. You can go and help to fend off the invaders later if you want. Now..." She turned towards Tobirama with a sardonic smile, "I am sure you would like to see your student and talk about some of his... exploits."
Tobirama furrowed his eyebrows at her smile, not knowing what it meant but she had a point. Since Konoha's defense was not such a pressing matter, he surmised seeing the young monkey would be a good thing.
"One of which he is currently fighting." Tsunade added with a dose of sarcasm, gesturing at the place where Orochimaru and Sarutobi were exchanging ninjutsu for ninjutsu. The sealing barrier around them was quite strong, to contain their moves without disturbing Tsunade, Hashirama, and Tobirama who stood just a bit away from it.
Tobirama almost face-faulted hearing that. He realized what Tsunade meant... realized he was summoned by Hiruzen's student.
'That would explain how somebody set against Konoha could use Edo Tensei.' Tobirama thought and his eyes grew stormy. 'Hiruzen... just wait till I get my hands on you. I am gonna spank you till your butt cheeks fall off. I didn't entrust you with my worst and best Jutsu for you to let it fall in enemy's hands.'
Tobirama felt immensely disappointed.
At the same time, he was extremely surprised somebody actually managed to 'recreate' it. The version he entrusted to Hiruzen when he was begging him to be taught was incomplete.
Tobirama did teach him but he also knew Hiruzen was too dumb to finish the incomplete version. He always had a knack for nature manipulation but when it came to more esoteric ways of ninjutsu... like seals, space-time, and shadow clones... Hiruzen was average at best.
Tobirama felt safe entrusting the unfinished version to him with the instructions to never let anybody see it. If nothing else, he could trust Hiruzen to never show it to anyone until he mastered it himself.
Which was just not gonna happen…
Seeing somebody capable of progressing the incomplete version to this degree was astonishing. Hearing that Hiruzen let a genius capable of doing this out of his sight, allowing him to defect the village, was downright outrageous. And seeing that this genius was not 'taken care of' before he could threaten the village like this was the last drop.
When he let Hiruzen become the Third Hokage, he expected competency!
Hashirama could see his brother's expression go blank and promptly took a step away from him. He knew his brother and somebody was in for a very rough beating.
Tsunade... just smirked. 'Heh, and he has no idea about all the problems with Konoha during Sarutobi's reign yet. Like... the extinction of the Senju line.' She deviously thought.
There was no way she would let go of this golden opportunity to make Sarutobi's life a bit harsher.
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