Kapitel 14: Chapter 14
She had tried to sleep. Courtney would often go on only a few hours of sleep at night if she was lucky. But she hadn't had any tonight. She had paced the small motel room for most of the night, whirling and running to Serena's side every time she made a sound.
Serena never stirred, not once. She slept peacefully, curled inside the blankets, her chest a rhythmic rise and fall. All the while Courtney guarded her like a hawk.
She'd called the motel manager earlier and explained about the bathroom door. He'd said, with restrained irritation, not to worry about it, it was an emergency after all. She'd hung up when he muttered something about insurance rates.
After that, she'd kept herself busy with disposing of the splintered wood fragments that had been left behind. She couldn't believe she'd done that. Kicked down a door! She couldn't remember her heart ever beating so fast, or ever having that much strength, nevertheless kicking down a door. She supposed all those action movies her father watched had paid off somewhat.
Her conversation with Austin shot to mind. She'd been itching to ask Serena about her parents, wondered what it was like to have people love you. Austin had told her right away when she'd asked, and his response only made the hollow void in her chest grow.
Laying down and trying to sleep, she thought about Serena and Austin, only five years old, and losing their parents. How hard it must have been, how close they seemed to be. She was starting to grasp the concept of a normal family from listening to Austin and Serena speak about theirs. Serena said that there was always love at Grams' house.
There was never love at the Morgan house. There was anger, and fear, and hatebut never love. She was starting to wish she had had just a piece of what her friend had growing up. To know you were loved so unconditionally like they were.
Courtney understood there had been something wrong with her father, because there was never anything she'd deliberately done to make him mad. He would go off on tirades and she didn't even have to be in the room. He was sick and needed help. She had been an innocent child. Her head, at least, understood that much. But the rest of her had to question what was so wrong with her that even her father couldn't love her. Wasn't that ingrained?
Her gift, as Serena called it, had been the devil's work to her father. But Serena had said her visions helped people. If Serena was right, how could something so evil make others feel good? Was it evil at all? She'd never realized how frightened she was of using her visions until she'd run away from her father. Living in terror so long that it was hard to tell if he was lying or telling the truth.
Serena was telling the truth. Even when she was angry or frustrated, Courtney sensed honesty and consideration.
So many new changes, it was no wonder her head was spinning. Plus, if she allowed herself to admit this much, she couldn't ever remember being treated like a person. Like a human being with feelings and needs. Even Mrs. Meyers, bless her, was more of an overbearing mother going through the motions. Almost from the moment of her rescue, Courtney had begun doing things just because Mrs. Meyers had wanted her to. Because it was easier than arguing. And she was grateful for everything the woman had done.
A new panic crept up her spine and spread. They would be back to Serena's home in Willowsby tomorrow. She would get to meet Grams, with all her stories and gentle laugh. She would meet Jake, emerald eyes and addictive smile.
And Austin. Face to face with the voice that remained in her head long after they'd hung up the phone. She couldn't ever remember being so at ease with a man, except Dr. Maynard, and that took a long time. Maybe because Austin was a another half of Serena. Any part of her, even a miniscule part, had to be good. But there was something different about him. The way he always asked if she was okay. The manner in which he laughed. How he listened when she spoke, as if what she said was important to him. Or how effortless it was for her to talk to him. He never poked fun at her, or made her feel stupid.
The logical part of her brain battled with the fear forever there. She believed the good things, the compliments, Serena told her, understood that she believed them. But there were truths that couldn't be glossed over.
This curiosity Austin had with her would surely end tomorrow. She would accept it as she had everything else in life as a fact. But in the mean time, she had Serena's friendship for as long as she had left, and hopefully, in time, Austin's too.
After the leaves stopped falling, when Serena was at peace, Courtney would go back to her corner of the diner in Arizona and wait for the bell on the door to ring. That was her place in life. That's where she belonged. She had her photos to remember these few months, and a friend who showed her how to love.
Walking back to the bed, she slipped between the sheets. Still asleep, Serena turned on her side and sighed. Courtney brushed a curl away from her friend's face and was surprised to find Serena was dreaming about her. Images fluttered and drifted. For a split second, Courtney saw herself through Serena's eyes, and for the third time that night, had to wipe away tears.
"I love you, too, my friend."
Geschenke
-- Geschenk
erhalten Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein