Kapitel 13: 13
Maaga kaming nakapasok sa school ng araw na 'yon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit but i feel like, Triton was upset on me that i didn't believe on what he said. Can you blame me? May maniniwala ba sa ganoon? He was saying na hindi raw siya tao and he doesn't really live on earth?! tapos ilang libong taon narin daw siyang nabubuhay?
That was just unbelievable. That time hindi na niya ako pinansin. Kapag magkakasabay kami hindi siya nagsasalita. Kapag nagkikita kami hindi niya ako tinitignan. He doesn't even look at me! Even just a single glance? He won't!
At first i thought to myself. Bakit hindi ko siya kausapin at mag paliwanag sa kaniya? Pero i was like, wala naman akong ginawang masama, right? Those things he said aren't true. Maybe he's just obsess with fictions. Noong unang kita ko nga sa kaniya i thought he was a rapist psychopath.
But then i let my pride down. When my Mother was asleep and so as Daya i tried talking to him. I called him while he was walking on stairs to go up to his room, "Triton. Can we talk?" i asked him in my nicest voice but guess what he said?
"I am tired, Yveon. It is already eight oclock in the evening, time to go to sleep. I'll sleep now." he said and continue walking. Hindi man lang ako tinignan. Basta nalang siyang naka hawak sa support ng hagdan, hindi tumingin sa likod at nakatayo lang and when he said that tuluyan na siyang umalis and he entered his room.
I was so pissed that time. That is the first time he told me he's going to sleep at nine oclock?! What the hell. Natutulog nga siya ng mga eleven or twelve, eh.
When morning comes. I didn't bother talking to him anymore. If he won't approach me then he won't! I tried communicating to him but he fucking ignored me, that's what atleast i can do. Binalewala ko ang pride ko pero siya itong ayaw makiusap, edi go.
After that we never talked. Daya is asking me always what's wrong. Why do i look fucking exhausted and bakit sa mga nakaraang araw ang tahimik ko. That's also the question. I am also asking my self why? Why did i became so quiet? When did i became like this? I told myself maybe, I was just really tired and i want peace.
Alam ko ring nakakahalata na si Mama, "Sid, What's wrong? Bakit parang ang tahimik ninyong dalawa ni Triton?" she asked me and i just awkwardly chuckled. I can't tell her na nag aaway kami. I can't tell her na meron kaming cat fight. Yes, It was considered as a cat fight. He's being close minded.
"No, Mama. We're okay. I'm going to my room now. I have classes pa tomorrow." i said then kiss her on her cheeks and already run towards my room. The next day, lahat ng mga grade twelve and grade eleven students ay nagsitipon for an important meeting.
I saw Grant that time. He smiled on me, I just smiled to him back weakly. I don't know why, I always feel tired these days.
"Don't forget the lunch with Mom tomorrow, okay? Seven oclock in the evening, I'll fetch you." saad nito and i just said okay and sat on my chair. Napatingin ako kay Sarah when she was looking at me intently.
"Why?" i asked her.
She just raised her eyebrows and sighed, "What are you up to these days? You look tired and exhausted. Are you sick?" she asked me, I just smiled at agad ring umiling.
She was also asking me about Triton. Hindi na daw kasi kami nagkaka salitaan at pansinan. Akala ko sina Daya at Mama lang makakapansin, pati rin pala siya. I just told her na mabuti naman kami, at ayaw lang talaga naming magpansinan.
Noong araw din na 'yon ay ina anounce na meron kaming bagong kaklase. She was the daughter of Mayor Wyatt Elizalde. She looks so stunning and pretty that boys became so wild and even shout.
"Goodmorning everyone. My name is Desiree Elizalde. Nice to meet you all." her voice was really really cute. Napaka inosente ng boses niya. After that announcement bumaba siya at umupo sa tabi ni Triton. Triton wasn't looking at her, para ngang wala siyang pake.
But when Desiree started talking to her, smiling at nakalahad ang kamay ay napatingin narin siya dito. He let out a smile and shake his hand with her. After that shake hands Desiree talked about something that made Triton laughed. After our fight, that was the first time i saw him laughing.
And then here comes the weird feelings again. I feel like my heart is aching on what i am seeing. Am i jealous? I quickly shook my head. Ofcourse not! Why would i?
"Are you okay? You look like you're going to kill a pretty lady today." Sarah teased me and i just laughed and asked her what but she just shrugged her shoulders.
Nakinig nalang kami sa announcement. Sinabi doon na we're going to have a two weeks camping. Napa wow ako kasi that was long. Imagine, two weeks?
They even told us na sa gilid kami ng dagat mag cacamping kaya naging wild ang mga students. I just smiled, mukhang maganda nga rin. I feel like i need refreshments. I want to calm myself and forget everything na bumabagabag sa isipan ko.
Magcacamping daw kami sa Monday na, and Saturday naman bukas so we have two days to prepare. Nasa 10,000 to 20,000 ang kailangan naming ibudget bawat isang student. That was okay for me, but i won't tell Mom at hindi ako hihingi sa kaniya. I can used naman iyong mga naipon ko sa napanalunan ko through dancing.
After the announcement. Sinabihan kaming mag break na and some boys even joke, "Break? Grabe naman kayo Ma'am. Masakit kaya 'yon." some laughed and me too. Agad kaming tumayo ng matapos na ang announcement. Naglakad kami patungo sa canteen.
"Are you going?" Sarah asked me and i nodded. Naghanap kami ng puwedeng mapag puwestuhan at agad rin naman kaming nakakita ng bakante malapit sa pintuan kaya agad akong umupo doon.
"How about you? Are you going?" tanong ko sakaniya. She smiled and nodded.
"Ofcourse. I will. Ako naba ang kukuha ng pagkain natin?" she asked at agad akong umiling. Ang sabi ko ako nalang and she nodded. Tumayo ako at agad na pumila sa linya. To hell with that nakatapat ko pa si Triton sa pila. Nang tignan ko siya ay nanlaki ang mata ko ng makitang nakatitig siya sakin kaya agad akong nag iwas ng tingin.
Is he really looking at me? That was the first time, then? Hindi ko nalang pinansin at agad na bumili ng time ko na. I can see on my pheripheral vision na halos hindi maka focus yung nagtitinda sa kaniyang babae. First time atang makakita noong babae ng tao. Kinuha ko ang sukli ko at agad na nilagay sa bulsa ko.
Binitbit ko na ang tray and to my surprise. Meron akong nakabunggo na may hawak ding tray. Sa sobrang lakas ng impact nakita kong lumipad 'yong baso at alam kong maitatama iyon sakin, pero nagulat ako ng hindi dahil ang baso ay nahulog at nabasag sa katabing mesa. Napatulala ako dahil doon.
How the hell did that happened? I was so sure na matatapon iyon sa akin pero imbes na sa akin ay sa lamesa iyon nahulog at nabasag. Napatingin tingin ako sa paligid at agad kaming nagkasalubong ng titig ni Triton, agad rin siyang umiwas ng titig sa akin at kinuha na ang order niya at naglakad paalis.
"Miss! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Fuck! I'm so sorry. I didn't see you." saad ng lalaking nasa harapan ko. Ibinaba ko ang tray at ngumiti sakaniya. Nagbalik narin sa kaniya kaniyang ginagawa nila ang mga estudyante pero ang karamihang babae ay nakatingin sa akin. Umiling ako, hindi pala sa akin. Kundi sa lalaking nasa harapan ko.
He is handsome, with his messy hair. Piercing on his two ears with perfect jaw and face. His fashion sense was cool too, or no? It was just typically a badboy's fashion. Polo and black pants. Nakabukas ang tatlong butones ng polo niya and ang necktie niya ay medyo maluwang.
He is not a transferee. I'm sure of it pero ngayon ko lang siya nakita. He will perfectly fit an image model.
"Ah, yes, I'm okay. I'll go now. I'm sorry." i smiled and he just nodded and watch me walked through our table.
"What was that?" Sarah asked and i just chuckled and shrugged my shoulders.
"I don't know too. I'm so confused. Did you see that? Dapat sa akin mahuhulog iyong baso hindi ba? Pero sa may tabing lamesa 'yon nahu—" she cut me.
She nodded, "Yes, I know! I saw it! He's fucking hot and handsome! I never saw him. Who is he? Did you get his name? His number?" she asked me, napailing nalang ako at sinarili nalang ang gusto kong sabihin.
Pati pala siya hindi napansin 'yon. Baka guni guni ko lang kasi? Sabagay, totoo man ang iniisip ko or not, wala namang makakapansin non kasi lahat sila doon sa gwapong lalaki ang pansin. Napaisip din ako. I never saw that guy too. New face lang siya para sa akin.
"I didn't get his name and his number. He asked me if i'm okay and i said yes. An embarassing moment just happened. How can i get his number?" i asked her mockingly, she just laughed.
"You don't look happy. You should be happy! A good looking man just asked if you're okay! Aren't you overwhelmed at all?" she asked me, umiling ako at kumain nalang.
She nodded and started eating too, "Yeah right, kay Grant ka nga lang pala kinikilig." she said and i chuckled.
Nakarinig ako ng mga tawanan at agad akong napatingin sa hindi kalayuang lamesa samin. I saw that transferee with Triton. They were laughing at each other. So, they are close now, huh?
Inirapan ko nalang si Triton ng magawi ang tingin nito sa akin. Tinignan din ni Sarah ang tinitignan ko atsaka siya ngumisi, like she can read what's on my mind. Tinapos ko nalang ang kinakain ko para maka alis na kami sa lugar na'to.
"Hey. Can i join?" tanong ni Grant na kadarating lang. Tumango naman ako at ngumiti. He sat next to me. Napakunot ang noo ko. Trying to find the same feelings na nararamdaman ko noon.
Where's that happiness? Nasaan na iyong nararamdaman ko na kapag nakatabi siya sakin excited na excited ako at kinikilig? Nasaan na iyong mga 'yon? Ba't hindi ko na maramdaman?
I was so confused. Kung nagkakasama kami ni Grant hindi ko na maramdaman 'yong mga nararamdaman ko noon. Hindi kaya, nawala na ang nararamdaman ko para sakaniya? I asked myself that, pero agad din akong umiling. No way. Grant is my childhood bestfriend, ang tagal ko na siyang gusto.
Pinaniwala ko ang sarili ko na baka nga sobrang pagod lang ako at ang dami kong iniisip kaya gan'to ang nararamdaman ko.
"Goodevening po Tita. It was nice meeting you po again. Medyo matagal tagal nadin po tayong hindi nagkakausap." bumeso ako kay Tita, Mommy ni Grant. Bumitaw sa pagkakahawak sa bewang ko si Grant at iginaya ako patungo sa upuan.
"It was nice meeting you again, Iha. Sobrang busy kaba these days? Halos hindi na kasi tayo nagkakausap. Buti naman at nakadalo ka ngayon dahil kung hindi, magtatampo talaga ako." ani niya kaya agad akong natawa at ngumiti at sinabi na sobrang busy ko, na marami akong kailangang gawin sa bahay and sa school.
"How's your day? How's your relationship to Grant? Still stuck on bestfriend ba?" tita asked me. I became shy. Alam kasi ni Tita na gusto ko si Grant simula bata pa kami. Pero it feels weird right now.
"Ayos naman po. Still, b-bestfriends." ani ko at awkward na ngumiti atsaka kumain nalang sa pagkain ko. Si Grant ay nasa loob pa ng kuwarto niya at maya maya lang ay dumating din siya. Ngumiti siya sa akin at ngumiti rin ako pabalik. Umupo siya sa tabi ko at nagsimula ring kumain.
Habang nasa kalagitnaan kami ng pagkain ay agad na nagsalita si Tita, "Oh, So Grant gave you that bracelet? It looks good on you. Binigay ko 'yan sakaniya and i told him to give it to a girl na mamahalin niya or special sakaniya and he gave it to you. You're really that special, Iha." nakangiting ani ni Tita.
Ngumiti naman ako pabalik at napatitig sa bracelet na ito. Ibibigay niya ang bracelet na ito sa babaeng mamahalin niya at special sa kaniya? I was so confused. Then does that mean, he loves me? or maybe not? Umiling nalang ako, I'm being delusional.
"Just eat, Sid. Don't think about what Mom's said." ani ni Grant ng matapos ang dinner. Nagpahinga narin naman si Tita at sinabi kay Grant na ihatid na ako sa bahay namin.
Tumango ako, "Okay." iyon nalang ang nasabi ko bago ako tuluyang sumakay sa kotse. Buong biyahe ay tahimik kaming dalawa. Walang nagsasalita.
"Sid," tawag sa akin ni Grant habang nagmamaneho siya. I looked at him, "D-Do you l-like me?" he suddenly asked.
I was startled. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin at sasabihin ko. This is the perfect time na sabihin ko sakaniyang, yes gusto ko siya, simula pa noong mga bata pa kami pero bakit hindi ako makapag salita? Bakit hindi ko kayang sabihin?
"Forget about it." he said at hindi na nagsalita pa. Pagkadating sa bahay ay pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto. Inaya ko siya sa loob pero ang sabi niya wag na raw kasi uuwi nadin siya.
Nang tumalikod na siya ay agad ko siyang tinawag, "Grant." agad rin naman siyang lumingon.
"What is it?" he asked me. I can see that familiar look on his face. That sadness in his eyes.
"I like you." i bravely said. I liked him, simula bata pa kami. So i should tell him right? Agad kong nasilayan ang pag ngiti niya, the sadness suddenly vanished on his face and his eyes. Inisang hakbang niya ang pagitan namin at mahigpit akong niyakap.
Napangiti ako at niyakap nadin siya pabalik. Why can't i feel it? Bakit ganito? Bakit wala na? Tears started to flow down on my eyes. Nang humiwalay siya sa yakap ay agad siyang natawa at pinunasan ang luha ko.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked me.
Umiling ako, "I'm crying because I'm happy." ani ko but no, I'm not.
Hinawakan niya ang pisngi ko, "That makes me so fucking happy, but for now, go inside your house, go to the place where you really belong." I was so confused on what he said. Anong ibig niyang sabihin?
"I'll go now. Take care." he said at tumalikod na at agad na umalis. I was still standing there until nakarinig ako ng pagkabasag sa isang kuwarto sa itaas. I saw shadows of two person inside Triton's room. Until i found myself running towards his room.
Pagkabukas ko ay agad kong nakita si Triton. Nakaupo siya at nakasandal sa pader. He was okay, but he looks very exhausted and tired. Nanlaki ang mata ko at agad na lumapit sa kaniya.
"What happened? Are you okay?" tanong ko sa kaniya. Nakaramdam ako ng panginginig. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko.
"Y-Yveon," he called me, "C-Choose me, p-please." he pleaded.
Nangunot ang noo ko, "W-What? Hindi kita maintindihan Triton." saad ko sa kaniya. Inabot niya ang kamay ko at hinawakan ng mahigpit.
"I gave up everything... for you. I gave up my position from being the next king for you. They wanted me to go back, but i said i wanted to stay here because of you. I gave up everything, so please choose me. Piliin moko kesa kay Grant. Ikaw nalang ang natitirang dahilan para manatili ako rito," he said.
Nablangko ang isip ko. Hindi ako makapag salita. Ano bang sinasabi niya? Naguguluhan ako.
"I like you, Yveon. That's the answer. No, replace it with love. I love you Yveon, I love you." saad niya bago siya pumikit.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
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