Kapitel 22: Nick's Realization

NICK'S POINT OF VIEW

He can't believe what he's seeing next to him. He closes his eyes tightly and then looks again. Everyone is definitely around your bed and they're busy working on you. Your body is lifeless and they're hanging lots of bags of fluids next to your bed. The blood tube in his arm has no more blood in it. He can't make out what's happening, all he knows is that Nita's voice sounds urgent and he's not used to that tone of her voice.

Then fear starts to fill his thoughts.

(Are they trying to save you from something? What happened to you while I was out? Why aren't you standing next to me, saving me? Now you're just laying there….like you're dying??)

He hears one of the machines making a long beeping sound. "Tracy, get the crash cart NOW!" Nita's voice ego in his head.

(What??? I don't know much but I know is this…when they need a crash cart it means…oh fuck!!)

"Clear!"

He watches as everyone backs away from your body and Nita shocks your body. He sees your body jumping in the air at every current going through your body. With every shock, a piece of Nick's heart disappears. He knows that that piece will never return to his heart.

(What happened??)

"Come on, Kim!!! Don't you give up on me now!!" Nita massages your heart vigorously.

He can't hold it in anymore, he needs to ask. "Is she dying???" Nita looks briefly at him and then he sees her face filled with anxiety and desperation. He knows that this isn't a small thing at all and that you might be dying. He tries to get off his bed. When his feet touch the ground an excruciating pain shoots through his leg but he does care. He needs to be next to you.

Just as he starts to walk closer, dizziness pulls him back to his bed. The entire tent starts to spin and he nearly sits his bed miss when tries to get back to his bed. He groans loudly not because of the pain or the dizziness but because he can't get to you. He lays down and hears the deafening sound of the machine flat lining next to him. He knows that sound too, that means you have no heartbeat. He whispers softly to himself.

"God…Kim...don't go"

Suddenly he hears a loud gasp coming from your bed.

"Thank god, welcome back Kim" He can hear the relief in Nita's voice. He smiles and then tries to calm down.

KIM'S POINT OF VIEW

You feel your heart beating rapidly and you know that you've been revived. You know that you've stopped living for a while and that they had to bring you back. You know that Nita must be mad at you. You feel so stupid for doing what you did but you know that this will be worth it…if Nick made it.

"Uhm….Nita…."

You struggle to get the words out but Nita knows what you want to know. "Yeah, you did it, Nick's fine, he's just fine" You feel an unspeakable joy and accomplishment filling your senses. You've achieved what you needed to do. Then tiredness falls over you. You turn your head and look at Nick. You see him moving and you feel happy. You close your eyes and fall into a deep sleep.

NICK'S POINT OF VIEW

"Nick, how are you feeling?"

Nita touches his shoulder. He opens his eyes and struggles to focus but then slowly finds her eyes.

"I'm okay…what happened to Kim?"

"Don't worry about that now, tell me how are you doing?"

"Dr. Naidoo, I'm fine, just a bit dizzy but please, I beg you, what happened to Kim?"

"Nick, I think she must rather tell you if she wants to tell you but she's fine now. I can't tell you the exacts, patient-doctor confidentiality, and all. Listen, Nick, I need you to not try and move yet, you're still very weak but you should be okay in a few hours, okay?"

"Okay, uhm…where's Helena? She was here earlier, right?"

"Well, yes, she was here-"

"Baby! Are you okay??" Helena comes walking into the tent.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Where were you?"

"I just quickly stepped out, wanted to take a breather, you know…"

He doesn't know what to think. He can't really tell this time in his state if she's telling the truth and he doesn't know for how long he's been out and how often. Maybe she was next to him the entire time and he just didn't know. He wasn't paying any attention to her. His attention was elsewhere.

"Oh, I see"

She moves to pull up a chair next to him when she sees you. "What happened to Kim?"

Nita signals Helena to come over to her. He can't hear what they're saying but he sees that Nita isn't extremely happy and Helena's in shock. Helena walks back to him and sits next to him but she looks over to your bed, often. She holds his hand but takes his hand away.

"You know what, I just need some sleep. Would you be able to come back later? I'm afraid I won't be good company at the moment"

She doesn't even flinch in response to his comment and kisses him on the forehead. "Of course baby, whatever you need to feel better. I'll be back in a little while, okay?" She stands up and walks out of the tent without looking back once.

He didn't expect anything less from her. She's always been a no-fuss girl but he's starting to wonder if this is how it's supposed to be with a woman. When he's with you he can feel the care and concern that you have for him but when he's with Helena he scarcely if ever, feel that she cares for him. He hasn't been with a lot of women because of the occupation he's chosen for life but something isn't feeling right with Helena.

When he's with you and just talking to you, he feels at home but when he's talking to Helena it feels cold and distant even sometimes like he's just pretending.

With you, there's no pretending, just pure harmony…