Kapitel 26: [25] - Before I Go
Chapter 25
"Jisoo, I'm fine. I can go home." Jennie groans grumbling as she looks at Jisoo who was standing talking to the nurse and wanting to keep her for another night.
- "You won't check out of here until we're completely assured." Jisoo replies determinedly, looking at Jennie, and then looking back at the nurse.
"She could stay here another night, right?"
The nurse smiles at them and answers:
"Yes, if that makes you both more reassured."
Jisoo nods affirmatively and follows, "Thank you."
"If anything happens, just call on me." The nurse informs and leaves.
Jisoo sighs as she turns to Jennie, walks to her and sits at the edge of the bed.
"Lisa and Chaeyoung are on their way here.."
Jisoo quietly starts taking Jennie's hand in her hands. "They were very worried and kept on sending messages, wondering how you are."
Focusing her gaze on Jennie's hand, she continues, smiling warmly, and so does Jennie.
"Jisoo.." Jennie calls with a soft concerned tone. "How are you?" She asks looking at her worriedly, attracting Jisoo's attention to look at her.
Jisoo stays silent and sighs as she looks to the other side.
"I'm fine.." she says, looking back at Jennie, smiling and stroking the back of her hand.
"All I want to focus on now is your safety." She adds, and then lifts Jennie's hand and prints a little kiss on its back.
The door is knocked and then opened, and Lisa appears, popping her head through it, looking in amazement, and then opening it completely to step in followed by Chaeyoung.
"Wow.. Jennie Kim,"
Lisa says with a lighthearted tone as she looks at Jennie with assurance and walks to her. Jisoo gets up from the edge of the bed to make room for them.
"We nearly died from worrisome." Lisa says as she wraps her arm around Jennie and hugs her.
- "wait.." Jennie says, smiling, her facial expressions are wrinkled slightly, a little painful to move her shoulder as a result of Lisa's embrace.
"Jennie!" Chaeyoung whines as she goes to hug her, next after Lisa has turned away from her, causing her shoulder to move again l, while Jisoo stands, watching them and shaking her head hopelessly.
"How do you feel?" Chaeyoung asks in an anxious expression as she backs away and sits at one side of the bed while Lisa is on the other side.
-"Fine." Jennie replies, nodding assuredly.
"Did you pack your things as I asked you?" Jisoo says addressing Lisa and Chaeyoung.
Lisa turns to her and answers, nodding her head, "Yeah, just a few remained. We will continue once we return."
Jennie furrows her eyebrows in question as she looks between them.
"Why? What is happening?"
- "We will move to a new house, is what Jisoo told us."
Chaeyoung replies amusedly, making Jennie look at Jisoo quizzically.
"It's for your safety."
Jisoo remarks firmly, nodding. Her phone rings, she takes it out, checks the caller id and picks up the line before putting it on her ear, and turning around to leave the room.
The girls keep looking at the door for a while and Lisa turn to Jennie and smiles at her as she stroking her hand gently, Jennie mirroring her expression.
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🎶 ▶ James Arthur-Roses
Jennie gradually opens her eyes to see that night had indeed come. Since she decided to take a short nap this evening, the medication must have helped her sleep. She saw something else as well.. or someone.
Jisoo was sitting on the sofa by the window, with her back on the armrest, with a book in hand she was reading. From her clothes she can tell that she had changed, she must have returned to the apartment and changed them while Jennie was asleep and came back here.
"What are you reading?" Jennie blurts out suddenly in a low tone to Jisoo, drawing her attention to raise her head off the book and look at her.
Jisoo stares at her a little surprised, then smiles faintly, turning her gaze towards the book and calmly answering,
"Shoko's smile."
"What it is about?" Jennie wonders.
Jisoo is silent as she raises her head and looks ahead as if she's pondering before answering.
"It talks about the fragile friendship between two girls, one Korean and the other Japanese, over a period of thirteen years."
- "Fragile? It sounds like a sad story."
Jennie remarks softly, gaining a short silent laugh from Jisoo as she looks at the book and then lifts her head again, staring into the distance thoughtfully.
"Well, sadness is what gives joy its special flavor." She says, turns to Jennie, and keeps looking at her with warm expressions.
"How about you try and give it a read, once you go back home?" She offers tenderly.
- "Why don't you read me a little now?"
She compromises wittily, and then let silence dwell between them, both of them looking at each other dreamily.
"Come here." Jennie whispers afterwards as she pats the empty space of mattress next to her.
Jisoo closes the book and gets up, advances to the bed and turns around it so she can be on the left side. Simultaneously, Jennie scoots her body slightly towards the other side of the bed with a little difficulty to leave more space for Jisoo and when she tries to adjust her sitting and raises her upper part, Jisoo helps her with that as she puts the book on the bed and adjusts the pillows behind Jennie's back. She then sits next to her in the same position as Jennie, making her legs lie crossed on the bed.
"Put your arm around me." Jennie says when she sees Jisoo holding the book back in her hand, intending to start reading.
- "But your wound—"
"It's okay." Jennie quickly interjects, maintaining the softness of her tone. "It doesn't hurt much."
Jisoo remains still for a while, hesitant, but then she lifts her arm to drape it behind Jennie and let it land around her loosely and cautiously, at the same time Jennie adjusts her seated position to become closer to Jisoo and partially leans her back on the side of Jisoo, resting her head close to her shoulder and her sound arm is folded up and resting on Jisoo's chest.
Jisoo takes the book with her free hand and puts it between them and begins to read quietly and as she did, Jennie was absorbed in looking at Jisoo, which as from this angle, she can only see Jisoo's body and the underside of her jaw and neck, leaving her fingers play with the buttons of Jisoo's shirt adoringly.
⏸🎶
"You still mad?" Jennie asks, out of the blue, with an anxious tone, pushing Jisoo to stop reading, "For not telling you about Matthew.."
Jisoo remains silent and still for a moment before she raises her head to look ahead and takes a deep breath as she closes the book and leaves it on her thighs and turns her head towards Jennie a little so that it leans on her head and takes another breath and answers calmly,
"You're okay.. that's all that matters."
She turns her head slightly to print a loving kiss on Jennie's forehead and leans it back on Jennie's head.
▶️🎶 Lee Suhyun - In Your Time
"No Jisoo." Jennie protests with a disapproving filled with care tone as she raises her head and looks at Jisoo, lowering her hand to hold Jisoo's own.
"You.. are all that matters."
She says as a matter of fact, causing Jisoo to remain still as she looks at their joined hands for a moment and then turns her head towards Jennie and looks at her, deeply touched, her eyes full of emotion as she looks closely at Jennie's face, contemplating it and memorizing every single detail. Her mouth tightly pursed to keep herself composed.
Like she was stopping herself from something.
She gives Jennie a weak and trembling smile and turns her head away as she tightens her hold on Jennie's hand.
"I'm going to get us something to eat." she says in a faint tone, almost sounding choked, raising Jennie's hand to kiss it softly on the back, then carefully and gently pulling her arm around Jennie away and getting up.
- "I won't be late." she informs while looking at Jennie one last look before she turns around and leaves the room leaving Jennie looking at the door, puzzled, deeply.
. . . . . .
Jisoo remains standing outside at the door for a while, her hand on the handle as she looks at the floor of the corridor, she lifts her hand from it and begins to walk with steady steps, letting her hand slide against the wall while she walks and feels her eyes welling up, falling against her will one by one and keep falling heavily until she suddenly stops and turns to lean on the wall and lower her body, sliding down slowly until she is sitting on the floor with her knees folded to her chest.
She raises her hands toward her eyes to wipe her tears, but they continue to flow as she tries to keep her crying silent through short, faint gasps.
She was crying with relief.. she was crying because she didn't lose Jennie.. she was crying because Jennie came out in one piece.. because she can't believe that Jennie is fine and by her side now.. because she doesn't know what to do if something happened to her.. because she doesn't have the strength to even think about that.
She was crying because those eyes had not lost their sparkle when Jennie was looking at her.
Because she was overwhelmingly happy that Jennie is alive.
⏸🎶
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"Ok, all set?" Lisa asks carrying Jennie's small clothes bag.
"Yes, let's go." Jennie says as she gets up from her bed.
She saunters towards the door, followed by Lisa and Chaeyoung, and before they reach it, the door opens, surprising them and pushing them to stop, and then the nurse appears, smiling and carrying several balloons in her hand, white, red and transparent, some of which are written 'Happy New Year' on it and a real flower bouquet.
▶️🎶 Dreamcatcher - Jazz Bar
Jennie furrows her eyebrows in wonder, her features hide a smile as she looks at what the nurse is carrying.
"This is for you." the nurse says as she hands her the balloons and places the bouquet of flowers in her arm.
-"From who?" Jennie asks, smiling broadly, without looking away from the balloons like a little child.
"What do you mean 'who?'" Lisa asks teasingly, shaking her eyebrows mischievously and smiling sideways, she takes one of the balloons with the New Year's greetings written on it.
"Woah.. I totally forgot that today is the last day of the year."
Lisa adds, with Chaeyoung next to her, looking at the balloon with joy too, while Jennie was lavishly in her own world, looking at the balloons giddily, sometimes and at other times, smelling the flowers.
"Let's take them from you before you melt." Lisa teases as she helps Jennie carry the gifts. Instead of scolding as usual, Jennie's smile widens as she looks at her, leaving her in shock and heads to Chaeyoung.
"Chaeyoung, where is your phone?" She says, with delighted eyes, Chaeyoung quickly pulls out the phone.
She takes the phone, unlocks it, and calls Jisoo without stopping smiling as she walks to stand by the window.
/"Chaeyoung?"
Jisoo asks as soon as she picks up.
"It's Jennie." Jennie says softly, ignoring the mischievous looks given by Lisa and Chaeyoung.
"Oh, how do you feel? Everything is all right?"
Jennie answers affirmatively and follows afterward, "They have arrived.."
She trails off and pauses, feeling bashful.
"Aah.." Jisoo lets out after a moment of silence, "Do you like them?"
Jisoo inquires in a knowing playful manner.
"Very."
Jennie happily replies, nodding even though Jisoo can't see her, and while she's thus, she glances at Lisa and Chaeyoung, who are now acting out an overdramatized romantic scene, parodying her.
"When will you come home?"
Jennie pushes on, ignoring them again, she won't let them ruin this moment for her.
"Perhaps by noon.. and after that I have a business dinner in the evening."
"Okay, then. I'll wait for you." Jennie says, falls silent for a moment and then; "Jisoo?" She calls softly.
"Yeah..?" Jisoo says matching her tone subconsciously.
"Come back quickly." She tells her shyly and listens to the meaningful silence that came afterwards.
-"I will." Jisoo replies assuredly and they hang up.
Jennie releases a deep breath and looks at Lisa and Chaeyoung and stares them with a faux angry look, prompting them to stop their antics.
"Let's go." She says in an irritated tone pretending to be angry as she passes the phone to Chaeyoung and walks out of the room afterwards.
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Jisoo's car stops in front of the restaurant that Mr. Park invited her to, and Jisoo looks at it through the window for a moment before she gets out of the car, takes several steps, stops in front of the entrance, takes a look around the restaurant, and then continues her way.
🎶⏸
After the few hours she spent with the girls at their new house during the after noon, she debated whether she should continue on going to the dinner with Jang Park or she should just cancel it. She wasn't sure of what she will do once she sees him after what she had found out, and she still has yet to meet Jonathan, the main culprit.
She kept that debate at the back of her mind, wanting to enjoy and spend her time with Jennie, before later on she decided that she should just follow the plan and see what happens.
As soon as she steps foot inside the restaurant, one of the employees greets and welcomes her, taking her coat as she looks around, surprised that the restaurant is empty of any other people.
The waitress guides her to a specific destination, she follows him, and they continue to walk as they go up to the designated second floor and when she arrives, she finds Mr Park standing at one of the corners in front of the large glass window, that overlooks the street, next to a fully prepared table.
The waitress points to her to head there, she nods to him with understanding, and then walks toward Mr. Park.
"Miss Jisoo.." Mr. Park greets cheerfully once turning around when heard the heels clicks, his wide smile evident. "You made it!"
- "Mr. Park."
Jisoo replies abruptly, faking her smile and nodding, as he kept staring at her with a distant expression for a while.
"You don't know how happy I was when I received your acceptance over the invitation."
He says intending to move towards her, but she acts before him and pulls out one of the chairs and sits down immediately, and then gives him a dull smile.
- "I thought maybe it would be a good opportunity to talk about a potential corporation between us.." she starts monotonously, "business wise," she clarifies, nodding to him.
"Yes... that is correct." he agrees after remaining silent for a moment and takes a chair at the table across from her. "Actually, this dinner was for us to get to know each other more." He adds holding the fork and knife while Jisoo remains still, staring at him with straight expressions that don't reveal anything.
The waitress comes with a bottle of red wine in hand, opens it and starts to pour to Jisoo first, and then goes to pour to Mr. Park and when he finishes he bows to them and leaves.
"That, as well."
Wearing a weak smile, Jisoo says, raising her hands to hold the knife and fork, intending to eat.. or at least to pretend she's doing so.
"You know? Since I saw you, I knew that your face is very familiar." he remarks chewing well on the bite, stopping the movement of his hands a little, and looking at her.
-"Oh really?" Jisoo asks with a hidden absurdity without looking away from the plate as she continues slicing the meat too much.
"Yes.. it reminds me of a female friend of mine from a long time ago."
He says, pushing Jisoo's to still and then scoffs subtly as she raises her head to look at him, "What a nice coincidence, where is she now?"
Jisoo asks feigning ignorance.
He sighs as he looks to the other side, as if he was thinking.
"I don't know.." He simply says, looking at her and smiling, to then he elaborates, "I haven't seen her in a very long time, but.. I can tell you that she was very beautiful. Just like you..''
He says the last phrase in a softer tone, as he raises the glass towards her, suggesting that they make a toast, Jisoo stares at him for a moment and then forces herself to put on a natural smile while she also raises her glass and brings it close to her mouth to take a sip when she feels someone passing by her quickly.
She moves her glass away and sees a blue-eyed foreign man wearing a black suit standing on the side of Mr. Park and slightly behind, at a distance from him.
when he spotted her staring at him, he stared back sharply with straight expressions and for a moment there Jisoo's face fell drastically.
She knew then.
Those eyes.. those eyes, she can distinguish them anywhere. The cold gaze.. the sharpness.. the emptiness filling them. It was all familiar.
He was exactly as Matthew had described him to her.
As if she has gone years back.. as if she went back to that night to relive it again, reliving it and there she is.. standing helpless before him now, fear controlling her and her limbs.
The more she continues to look at him, the more she feels her heart constricting, her chest tightening, and panic within her rising.
"Oh.. Does he scare you?" Mr. Park suddenly starts with a cheery tone, he must have noticed that Jisoo kept looking at John, attracting her attention and laughing afterwards.
"Don't worry, everyone who sees him feels this way. This is Jonathan, my son in heart and my right hand."
Jang was talking and Jisoo looked distant, her mind was elsewhere and she was still stuck at that night feeling very scared and wanting to run away.
"He has always been like this.. a rough build since he was in his teens."
He continues, oblivious to the scattering of Jisoo's features, while John was fixating his gaze on her, noticing all her reactions.
"But he is efficient .. this was proven to me when I assigned him his first job—"
- "I.. I apologize.."
Jisoo cuts him off with a hasty tone as she gets up, "I have to go." she says with great tension, as she tries to move away from the table, her hand hits the glass, causing it to drop and shatter.
She remains standing startled, looking at the shattered glass in shock for a moment, and when John moves slightly towards her, intending to help her in the matter of public decency, she flinches and backs away, taking her peruse.
"I apologize again." She says abruptly as she bows slightly in a hurry and turns on her way out as she strides rapidly down the floor, leaving Mr. Park and John in utter silence.
"I told you that you didn't need to come.." Jang says in a rebuked tone as he turns toward John disapprovingly while John keeps staring at the direction Jisoo has left from.
- "She knows." John just states calmly, not really paying attention to his godfather's annoyance at his sudden appearance.
. . . . . .
Jisoo rushes to the back seat of the car that drove her and turnes to the driver, looking at him with terrorized features.
"Move! quickly!!" She tells him and leans back on the seat as she looks out the window and runs her fingers through her hair, with no mind, not knowing what to do.
Although the car became far away from the restaurant, Jisoo felt that they were still close to them and that they would come after her at any moment, and it doubled her fear and turmoil. The weather had changed and the lightning began to appear for several moments, after which the rain began to pour down heavily, which worsened Jisoo's state because the weather was similar to that night.
It was suffocating.
"Stop here.. stop here immediately!"
She involuntarily tells the driver, unable to stand the tightness in her chest, feeling out of air. He pulls over by the sidewalk and she climbs down with urgency.
"Go." She orders before she turns away and starts walking on the stone sidewalk.
- "Miss Jisoo! Miss Jisoo, you can't go out like this!"
The driver calls out to her, but she ignores him and continues to walk hurriedly.
She has to run away!
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Jisoo opens the door to the new house they moved to, and steps inside completely soaked to see the wide hall is dark and the lights are off, except for the lights of some rooms on the upper floor.
She advances rapidly towards the stairs and begins to climb towards the office room to ensure that she remains alone. When she arrives, she opens the door forcefully, enters and closes it behind her, and begins to walk in the middle of the room back and forth, ruffling her hair nervously.
The room was also dark, and what was reducing the darkness was the dim light of the side lamp hanging on the wall.
She strolls aimlessly and anxiously, her panic level up the roof.
He saw her.. he saw her! he would definitely find her!
He will go after her and find her!! He will kill her too!
He will find her! He will find her! She has to hide.. she must find a place and hide in it!
"Will you run away again, Jisoo?"
She stops in her tracks. A very familiar voice addressing her, a voice that has never left her memory.
"Is this the best thing you've come out with?"
Jisoo stands still for a while, eyes full, heart on sleeve, she slowly turns towards the direction of the voice, wearing a shocked guilt-filled expression.
"Mom?"
She says in a trembling voice as she looks at her mother, who stands in front of her, wearing the same clothes that she was killed in.
"I.. I didn't run away." Jisoo defends ashamedly, her tears are falling, as she looks at her mother with wide eyes without blinking.
- "But you didn't do anything.. you let him kill me," her mother retorts, giving her judging and hurt looks, lined with anger.
"I was.. I was scared.."
She admits defeated with a low tone as she looks away.
"He would have killed me too!" She adds, looking back at her mother as if she was trying to convince her, but mostly to convince herself.
"And do you think that he won't do it now? Do you think that if you escaped.. he won't find you?"
Her mother starts to slowly approach her while Jisoo steps backwards simultaneously.
"look at me!" She yells, making Jisoo flinch.
"Do you think he will let someone like you live?!" She says and burning tears gush from Jisoo's eyes. "You're nothing!—"
"Jisoo?"
Jennie's soft voice stops her from moving any further, standing at the door and drawing Jisoo's attention to turn her head towards her and look at her with the same frightened expressions.
"Jisoo, what happened? Are you okay?"
Jennie asks as she walks further into the room and looks at Jisoo with confused and worried eyes. "Why are you drenched like that? You will get sick.."
Jisoo keeps staring at her in shock, and then she turns towards the direction she was looking at before and she doesn't see anything.. she sees no one.. it was just the desk there.
Her eyesight decreases and she swallows with difficulty ruffling her hair restlessly.
"nothing nothing.." She dismisses as she tries discreetly to wipe her eyes.
- "What do you mean nothing? Tell me what happened?" Jennie insists, trying to look into Jisoo's eyes, but Jisoo avoids her gaze.
"Nothing, Jennie.. Can you please leave me alone for a bit?" Jisoo asks with urgency, wandering back and forth.
- "Jisoo.. I can't leave you in this state. Tell me what happened?" She says in a pleading tone, and she advances towards her more.
"Jennie!" Jisoo says louder impatiently as she stops moving and meets Jennie.
"Please.." She asks again, going back to a softer tone, "I really need to stay alone for a while. we'll talk later." She says, turns her eyes away and goes back to pacing.
Jennie remains still staring at her in complete confusion.
She would have given her what she wanted, she would. Had it not been for every cell in her body screaming at her, saying not to.
"Jisoo.. apparently something is wrong, please tell me what it is!" She pleads.
"No no no.." Jisoo mumbles over and over as she puts her hands on her head and shakes it obstinately. "You don't understand.. you don't understand.."
- "Then let me!" Jennie says determinedly in desperation.
"I can't!" Jisoo replies with the same tone.
- "What is it that you can't?"
"I can't tell you.." she says as she walks, shaking her head.
Jennie is silent again as she watches her go left and right and starts over.
- "Try.."
"No, no," Jisoo constantly mumbles to herself.
"Jisoo!" Jennie calls with a sharp tone as she loses her patience, prompting Jisoo to stop and look at her. "I will not go from here until you tell me what is exactly happening with you!" She says pointing towards the floor, meaning the office room.
"I'm tired of waiting and giving you time. Especially now that you are in this condition..
I won't leave you until you tell me everything!"
Jisoo remains staring at her with worried expressions for a while, then slowly shakes her head again as she turnes her gaze to the other side and goes to sit in the middle of the couch, hugging her knees and rocking herself back and forth.
"You will hate me..." she says, looking into the distance, continuing to rock her body.
Jennie grows her eyebrows in puzzlement and disbelief, she saunters towards Jisoo until she is in front of her and looks down at her.
"I won't." She tells her softly.
- "You will think less of me." Jisoo claims again.
"I won't." Jennie presses, more sternly as she leans down while still standing towards Jisoo, trying to make her look at her.
- "You will walk away from me.." Jisoo's voice broke at the end while saying it.
"God! I won't!" She answers in a louder tone and sits on the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch and reaches out to hold the side of Jisoo's face.
"I won't... " she repeats, much softly this time, looking straight into Jisoo's eyes, pushing her to calm her movement.
"Jisoo.." she starts again with an affectionate but firm tone. "There is nothing in this world that would make me see you in a different way.." she tells her, shaking her head emphasizing and tightening her hold on Jisoo's face.
"There is nothing that would make me hate you, even for a second.
Nothing Jisoo.. Nothing.
Whatever you're thinking, no matter how bad it is, I won't move an inch from here."
She promises and remains silent, staring at Jisoo, ignoring a tear escaping her eye.
"Because I know you.. I know you, Jisoo.
I know you better than anyone else. I know you even better than yourself.
Even Lisa and Chaeyoung do too."
Jisoo becomes completely calm as she listens carefully to Jennie's words.
"Do you know what Lisa once said to me?
She told me that she is in with you in everything. In everything, even if what you do is seen by others as bad.
Do you know why she said that?"
She says and goes silent for a while as she kept caressing her thumb on the side of Jisoo's face.
"Because we know you, Jisoo. We know you well. Someone like you.. is impossible to be a bad person."
She continues and then moves a little to sit on the edge of the sofa next to Jisoo and meets her without taking her hand away.
"So please.. please tell me what is burdening you." She follows, bringing her head closer to Jisoo's, whose expression curled down as if she was about to cry. "Allow me to carry it for you.."
Silence reigns between them for a while, and then Jisoo lowers her gaze and swallows as she nods slowly and Jennie mirror her movement involuntarily.
"It was.. the day before my father's birthday. he was supposed to come that night to celebrate— to celebrate, but he didn't."
She says and falls silent after that, and Jennie looks at her and nods as if encouraging her to continue, "He told me that we will go out together and celebrate my 14th birthday earlier as well.. but he didn't.
And so.. I was very upset. I went to sleep early, and then.. and then.." Jisoo trails off, feeling stuck at the memory.
- "Then what Jisoo?" Jennie asks in a soft, encouraging tone.
"Then I woke up to the sound of something thudding... it was strong. I got up— I got up to see what caused it and got out of my room, but I didn't see anyone.. A few seconds later, I heard the sound of the bump again."
Jisoo was talking while looking widely at the distance, as if she was living that night again.
"The sound was coming from my mother's room..I went towards it and saw the room door open.. I got closer.."
Jennie was listening carefully as she watched Jisoo's features begin to become more terrified.
"I got closer and stopped at the threshold, and then I saw her.."
She says, her breath hitches, and lowers her head as she burst out crying.
"You saw what? You saw what, Jisoo?" Jennie questions quickly as she tries to hold Jisoo's head in order to look at her.
"You saw what?" She adds in a whisper.
Jisoo stares at her, tears in her eyes and answers sorrowfully, "Mom.. I saw my mother being strangled by a man.." She says and chuckles humorlessly, feeling the absurdity of her phrase, and rephrases,"By Jonathan."
Jennie stills as she looks shocked at Jisoo.
"His hands were around her neck with full force while he was holding her down on the bed.. and she was constantly struggling.. she was constantly fighting to stand against him.. to break free from his grip."
Jisoo adds, as she begins to speak with a trembling, rapid tone, unconscious of herself and to the tears that fell unrestricted.
"But he was very strong .. He was very strong and she wasn't able to keep him away from her.. At some point, her gaze fell on me.. she looked at me, and her body movements increased.. and her attempts at hitting and scratching his arms increased, while I just.. stood there.
I stood there, still watching her in that state. I stood there afraid that if I moved, he would notice I was there, he would leave her and come after me.."
She says and suddenly looks at Jennie, as if wanting to see how she would react, surprising her.
Jennie cringed internally at the information but kept her expressions neutral. She wasn't judging Jisoo, the whole accident was disheartening to hear.
"I was watching her soul leaving her body and I didn't budge Jennie. I stayed standing until she passed away and didn't do anything about it..
She died, her eyes still open.. and still looking at me." She chokes out and loses herself to crying hysterically.
"And today.. today... when I saw him again.. I felt the same fear all over again, Jennie..
Nothing has changed Jennie... I'm still the same girl who let her mother die!"
"Jisoo.. Jisoo!"
Jennie calls firmly holding Jisoo's face well and directing it towards her to look at her.
"Not your fault, you hear me? What happened was not your fault." She follows with a determined steady tone, but Jisoo shakes her head again and mutters 'no'.
"I had to protect her.. I had to save her!"
"You were so young Jisoo! And it was sudden... what happened wasn't in your hand. You didn't do anything wrong."
Jisoo looks at Jennie and cries.
"She was my only friend, Jennie. She was the only one around me.. and yet, I preferred my life over hers! I really am a monster. I made her hate me.. I made her despise me even in my dreams."
Jennie falls silent at that, she immediately shakes her head and interjects.
"No, Jisoo, that is not true. What you see in your dreams is not true.."
She says, talking to her as if it wasn't the adult Jisoo but rather, the still fourteen years old little girl. But Jisoo continues to shake her head not believing. She lifts her head, and her gaze falls on a certain direction behind Jennie, and her facial expression pales again as she repeats deliriously, "She hates me ... She hates me.."
Jennie furrows her eyebrows in confusion, noticing her distant gaze, she leans her head towards her and makes her face in front of Jisoo's, invading her sight of line.
"Jisoo.. look at me.." She demands, shaking her a little to get her attention."Only look at me.. Listen to my voice only...
Jisoo.. Jisoo.."
She repeats her call until Jisoo looks at her, she pushes on, "Listen only to my voice, listen to me, only to my voice."
She pauses for a while and proceeds when she makes sure she has Jisoo's full attention.
"You. are. not. a monster.."
Jennie reassures with a resolute tone as she looks at her in all seriousness.
"Do you know who the real monster is?
Who made you think that way..
Who threw the blame on you..
Who did not hesitate for a moment to blame a young teenager for something that's completely out of her control."
She falls silent a little later as emotions fills her and her eyes well up,
"You're everything but a monster."
🎶 ▶Janet Suhh - In Silence
She swallows weakly as she prepares her next words.
"Jisoo, what happened was not your fault."
Jisoo needs to get that right.
"You didn't do anything wrong."
She needs to understand it was inevitable.
Even if she tried to save her mother, she would have probably ended up murdered as well.
"What happened, made you what you are now..
With this resilience.. and with this passion.. "
She pauses for a moment as she tries to choose her words wisely.
She can't tell her that she loves her just to show her that she is loved. She can't say it because Jisoo doesn't need it now.
Because some wounds cannot be healed with 'I love you'.
Because those three words, don't fix everything.
So she takes another path.
"Jisoo.."
She starts over again, pressing her forehead to Jisoo's own.
"You saved me..You saved me Jisoo.."
She confesses, making Jisoo locks eyes with her.
"Showed me the way to life again..
What am I now.. is because of you.
I draw strength from you.."
She says and kisses Jisoo softly on her forehead, Jisoo staring at her entranced by how genuine Jennie's words are.
"You're one of the purest souls I have ever seen.."
She kisses her right eye.
"The most honest..
Kisses her left eye.
"And the most beautiful..
Kisss her cheek.
"And the strongest.." she pauses and then; "You are strong Jisoo.."
She kisses her other cheek and falls silent for a while as she put her forehead back on Jisoo's and follows, both of them crying by now,
"And there's no way your mother would hate you.
you know why she was looking at you that night even in that state?"
She says and Jisoo closes her eyes momentarily at that.
"She was looking at you because she wanted you to escape. She was trying to tell you to get away from there. She was looking at you in that state because your life is more important to her than her own."
Jennie didn't know for a fact but she put herself in Jisoo's mother shoes, seeing her daughter in a close space with a killer while she's powerless, she figured that she would and look at her daughter the same way.
"I'm sure that she is very happy that you are well and alive.. and she is very proud of you..
As I am proud of you now..
You know why Jisoo?
Because she loves you.. because she loves you so much."
She concludes and Jisoo stays still for moments, staring with glistening eyes, before she bursts into tears and hugs Jennie heartily as she buries her face in her shoulder and clings to her clothes for dear life.
"Jennie.. Jennie.." Jisoo mumbles through the sobs in a trembling tone, "I was scared.. So scared.. I.. I really wanted to save her.." she says, and sobs uncontrollably.
"I know.. I know.." Jennie coaxes, wrapping her good arm around her, holding her securely and caressing her head, "I understand. It wasn't your fault.. I know.. It was not your fault.. "
She repeats through her own tears as if trying to consolidate these words in her mind and keeps repeating them as she continues to hug Jisoo and Jisoo, continuing to pour her heart out.
They stay like that, holding each other tightly, for a few hours until they feel exhausted and Jisoo calms down a bit upon Jennie's soft kisses to her head every now and then, and they end up sleeping on the sofa in each other's arms.
🎶⏸
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Jennie wakes up as she gradually opens her eyes and her expressions wrinkle for a moment as her eyes adjust to the morning light slipping through the curtain and begins to look around. She finds herself alone in the office room lying on the sofa, covered in a blanket.
She wanders and feels the pain in the wounded area as she stirred, in addition to the fatigue she feels all over her body.
She gleans her energy, gets up and heads out of the room as she walks slowly looking for Jisoo. When she doesn't find her on the top floor, she goes down to the ground floor and when she reaches the main hall she sees Jisoo near the door, on the process of wearing her coat.
"Jisoo?" Jennie begins with a deep tired tone, attracting Jisoo's attention to look at her.
Jisoo looks at her a little surprised, and then smiles at her lovingly and greets softly, "Hey.. good morning."
-"good morning.." Jennie responds matching her tone, she pauses for a moment, and follows as she gives Jisoo a once over.
"Are you heading out somewhere?"
"Yes, there's still work needs to get done," she says, giving her a small smile, and saunters towards the door, wanting to leave, and Jennie grimaces at the thought.
"Jisoo." Jennie calls her, making her stop and turn towards her. "Don't go.. I have a bad feeling about this.."
Jisoo's expressions softens to that and keeps looking at her warmly for a while and then walks towards her.
"I can't hide Jennie." She says as she cups Jennie's cheeks and looks at her softly. "In order to make sure that you're not gonna get hurt anymore, that none of us is, I have to end it with them once and for all."
- "Jisoo, please.. don't. They're vile people!" Jennie reasons with worried expressions.
Jisoo momentarily stays silent.
"Don't worry. I'll be fine." She says, stroking Jennie's cheek with her thumb, smiling.
"I will call you."
She promises and kisses Jennie's temple afterwards, and then turns away from her and walks back to the door and opens it.
Before she goes out, she turnes and looks at Jennie with a doting gaze, smiles weakly and then she leaves.
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Jennie doesn't know how she managed to control herself and didn't throw herself out of the car and start running instead. Constantly bouncing her leg nervously with urgency until the car arrived at the address, to then she opens the car door forcefully and gets out, running at full speed into the building, not paying attention to Lisa and Chaeyoung who are running behind her calling her and ignoring the security men and the journalists that were gathered at the entrance and.. ignoring everything.
Ever since that call about Jisoo reached them, her mind has not been with her, it went in a stupor, and she no longer knew how to act or if she even can speak anything.
She hurries inside the hospital building and through the reception area and pounces on the nurse's office with all her strength.
"Kim Jisoo... Kim Jisoo..." She finally utters, out of breath.
Despite the nurse's surprised expressions, she understood who the girl in front of her meant, so she raises her hand and points toward a specific direction.
"Second floor, the morg—"
Before the nurse finishes, Jennie leaves her and speeds to the second floor.
She couldn't hear or even let her thoughts wander before she can see with her own eyes.
. . . . . .
She reaches the second floor, striding hastily for while before she suddenly stops when she sees the person in front of her, following her, Lisa and Chaeyoung appear right behind her, and stop too when they look at what Jennie is looking at.
Jisoo, sitting at one of the wall mounted chairs with her back hunched as she rested her forearms on her legs with her head hung low.
She was in dire straits.
Her hair disheveled, her clothes covered in blood and slightly torn, her arms and face were bruised and bloodstained, and her hand itself was bleeding.
"Jisoo!" Jennie calls out breathlessly as she runs to her, "Jisoo! Are you okay? what happened? How did this happen?"
Jennie continues in panic when she reaches her, trying to hold her face, but she hesitates at first, afraid of hurting her if she does, seeing her like this.
"Jisoo!"
She calls again, this time raising Jisoo's head towards her to look at her, and when she did, she noticed the reddish-blue and purple bruises around her neck.
As soon as Jisoo notices her, her straight facial expressions are transformed into expressions of dread and terror.
"Jennie.. Jennie.."
She murmurs, placing her hands around Jennie's waist, clinging to her clothes while looking up at her.
"I couldn't do anything..
Once again, I couldn't do anything!"
She says crying and pulling on Jennie's shirt for comfort while Jennie was looking at her with a scattered look, looking lost, looking at Jisoo and then turning her gaze toward Lisa and Chaeyoung, who were mirroring her expressions and looks back to Jisoo again.
"I couldn't do anything.." Jisoo continues repeatedly, crying her eyes out.
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To be continued
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Brace yourself for the next chapter :)
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein