[Johan's POV]
"Adrian?"
"Yes, Han?"
"Diego asked me on a date," Johan said as he swabbed the wet wipes across his stomach. Hesitation made him pause when Adrian creased his dismayed eyebrows. Discussing the date may not be the best time after a hot sexual play, but he needed to let the other know his plans. Johan pushed the lump forming in his throat. "I'm going."
Taking the soiled wipes in his hand, Adrian shook his head and strode to the small trashcan beside his desk. "Han. No."
"But I need to know what he's cooking up his sleeves." He needed to keep a potential enemy close. That's what his uncle taught him. "It's not like I'm seeing him out of romantic interest."
"Just ignore him and he'll stop." Adrian climbed back to bed and claimed the spot to his left. "He's just asking for attention."
"But Adrian—"
"No. Okay? You're not going." Raising an arm, Adrian beckoned him to scoot over. "Come here."
Johan sighed and snuggled to his arms, resting one leg over Adrian's waist. An arm looped around his waist, pulling him close. When he opened his mouth to try persuading him again, Adrian shut him up with a kiss.
"No," Adrian said in a soft but stern tone. He smiled and nuzzled his nose to his cheek. "You're not going~"
Johan stifled a laugh at his sing-song voice. There's no point trying to convince Adrian if he's being like this. He's trying to enforce soft dominance, and it's fucking melting him. He tugged Adrian to lie on top but a rumbling sound stopped him.
"Sorry." Adrian chuckled. "That's me. It got me hungry, I guess."
Despite feeling sleepy, Johan unlatched himself from Adrian and sat. "Let's have some brunch then. I'm hungry too."
After slipping their boxers on, they ambled to the kitchen together. Not wanting to cook a complicated meal, Johan simply grilled two eggplants and stirred up eggs for an omelet. The crisp aroma of the vegetable churned his appetite.
Adrian sat on a kitchen stool, watching. His gaze still unnerved him, and Johan grabbed the eggplants with a tong, put it on a plate and handed it to him so Adrian can busy himself. "Stop watching me and help."
"Why? I love seeing you cook." He hissed when it burned his fingers and quickly submerged his hand in the water.
Johan rolled his eyes. "Have you never cooked your entire life?"
"I did. Instant noodles. My Mom always does the cooking."
How utterly useless. If it wasn't for his good looks, he would flush him down the sink.
Are you really self-taught?" Adrian asked while peeling off the eggplant's crisped skin.
"Yeah. For the most part."
"What do you mean?"
"You could say I learned from watching my grandma cook." Johan paused from slicing garlic cloves, feeling suddenly uncertain. He also learned a few tricks from a culinary student ex-boyfriend, but it's best not to mention that to Adrian. He no longer had communication with the bastard, anyway.
"So you grew up with your grandparents?" Adrian asked. He placed a plate of peeled eggplants beside him. His tone, curious. "Must be nice."
"... I guess." Johan's voice dropped into a whisper. Tears prickled his eyes, and he blamed it to the onion he's chopping. He disliked where the conversation flow was going.
"Where are your parents?"
Discomfort twisted the insides of his stomach. What's with Adrian's sudden interview questions? He'd rather not talk about his family. Johan cleared his throat as he soaked the flattened eggplants to the battered egg. "Why do you ask?"
"Just curious." Adrian wrapped his arms around him, squeezing, resting his chin to his shoulder. "I just thought you're too young to be living by yourself."
"I'm already twenty-one. I think I'm old enough to be independent."
Before Adrian could ask further, Johan turned around and leaned for a kiss. Adrian opened his mouth and kissed back. The coldness that crept into him eased a little, and he yielded to the warmth behind. When Adrian slipped a hand to his boxers, caressing the crease of his ass, he pulled away.
"I-I need to fry the eggplant omelet."
Adrian pulled his lower lip with his teeth. "Alright, Han. Hurry up so we can eat." He smirked and mussed his butt cheeks to grind their crotch together. "Then I'll feed you with my eggplant omelet later."
A jab to the rib and Adrian released his hold. Johan glared, his cheeks aflame. "Stop sexualizing every food I make!"
"You don't want it? Last time I remember, you groped my eggpl—"
"Shut up before I grill you dick, Adrian."
Thankfully, Adrian spared him the teasing and let him fry the eggplant in peace. Five minutes later, Johan served Adrian his meal, and excused himself to the bedroom. The prior conversation had depleted his hunger.
"You're not going to join me?" Adrian asked on the table, hand grasping his wrist to stop him from leaving the kitchen.
Shaking his head, Johan bent down and pecked Adrian's lips. "Just put my share on the fridge. I'm feeling sleepy already."
"Okay."
Johan continued his trek to the bedroom and thrust his head beneath the pillow. Tears tricked down his cheeks as an old memory resurfaced in his mind.
———
[Flashback]
Alaminos City, Pangasinan
After picking up small rounded stones, Johan, eight years old, stared up at the unripe mangoes with determined eyes. He put a stone on the leather pad of his slingshot, stretched the rubber and aimed. His grip on the wooden handle tightened. And he fired.
The stone missed by a few inches, making him clicked his tongue in annoyance. Johan tried again. And again. And again. Until it was his last bullet.
With bated breath, he released the stone with a flick, hitting the stalk. He grinned in triumph as two mangoes fell, and into the hands of a boy he couldn't remember the name. Johan could only recall the bright smile, and the baseball cap he's wearing in reverse.
"Nice aim!" the boy said, throwing one mango in his direction. "Can I have this one?"
Johan caught the heart-shaped fruit, almost dropping it because of the slingshot in his other hand. He smiled back. "Okay."
"What's your name?" The boy approached, his striking blue eyes mesmerizing him. "Want to play with me?"
"I'm—"
"Johan! Johan!" Three girls came running towards him. One of them latched to his arm while the twins stopped in front of him. "Johan. Play Chinese garter with us! We need one more for a tag team."
"Eh? But that's only for girls."
"But you're Chinese! You're an exception!"
"Ehhhh?"
"Come on!"
Johan shot the boy a silent plea for help. But he only smiled and munch on the sour fruit. Sighing, Johan let the girls dragged him to the meadow, and the boy followed them to watch.
"You'll be my mother!" A girl with a bob-cut hair pointed at Johan.
"Ehhhh?"
"Come on!" One of the twins urged. "We'll let you play first!"
"Fine." Johan said before a grin spread across his face. "But don't blame me if we beat you, okay?" He stared at his slingshot, then to the boy who plopped down on the grass to watch. "Can you hold this for me?"
"Sure!"
The twins held both ends of a two-meter braided rubber bands and stretched horizontally. The game began at the ankle level. Johan and bob-cut girl hopped to the other side. They continued to pass the knee level, waist level and chest level without difficulty. It wasn't long before the twins positioned the stretched bands above their head.
Bob-cut girl failed to cross the line, and as the assigned mother, it's up to Johan to win the game. Backtracking ten steps to build a momentum, Johan's eyes met the taller boy who gave an encouraging smile.
Adrenaline accelerated his heartbeat, and Johan sprinted before leaping into the air, hooking his foot on the rubber band and crossing over successfully.
"Ye—whoa!" Johan slipped on the grass and lost his balance, landing on his butt. "Ow! Ow!"
A smiling face hovered above him, and the boy asked, "you okay?"
Johan giggled. "Yeah."
"JOHAN!"
The booming voice froze his blood, and Johan pushed himself up to meet the glare of his grandfather, who marched towards him.
Fear gripped him as the ex-military man fisted the front of his shirt and dragged him away from his friends. Johan glanced back, meeting the boy's eyes one last time, his slingshot still slung on his neck. And that was the last time he saw him.
Johan was shoved to the floor of his grandfather's ancestral house. Groaning as he grazed his knee on the rough surface, he looked up. "Grandpa—"
"What were you doing playing a girly sport! Are you gay!"
"No. Grandpa—"
"LOUISA!"
His grandmother shuffled into the living room at the call of her name. "Juanico? What is going on? Why are you shout--"
"Get me a table salt!"
Tears welled up in Johan's eyes as he crawled to the old man's feet. "No! Grandpa, I'm sorry!"
Don Juanico ignored him and glowered at his wife, who tried to help Johan to his feet. With a grunt, he tramped to the kitchen to get the salt himself.
His grandmother cupped his wet cheeks. "What happened? What did you do?"
"Grandma!" Johan wailed and buried his face in her chest.
Don Juanico emerged with the salt container and sprinkled a generous amount on the floor. He stabbed Johan with a look and pointed at the floor. "Kneel."
Johan cowered behind his grandmother's back, shaking his head. His fear intensified as the belt's buckle clunked, and the strap was pulled out of his grandfather's waist.
"Don't make me repeat myself. That is an order."
"Juanico—"
A warning finger shushed Louisa, and Johan was yanked out of her warm embrace. His sobs didn't falter the old man, and Johan had no choice but to kneel on the salt. He gritted his teeth as it sipped to the fresh wound on his knee.
"Arms up."
Johan swallowed a whimper when the belt hit him behind. Once. Twice. Three times.
Don Juanico walked in front of him and grabbed his chin to force an eye to eye contact. "You are a Fernandez. I won't let you soil the honor of this family, you understand?"
Johan sniveled and gave a meek nod. "Y-yes. Sir."
"Let this be the last time I see you act like that."
"Yes, Sir."
"Thirty minutes and you can go back to your room."
"Yes, Sir."
[End Of Flashback]
———
"Han?" The pillow was lifted from his face, and Johan wiped his face to the bedsheets. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Johan sniffled and forced a laugh. "I'm fine. I just yawned."
But the swelling of his eyes didn't escape him. Adrian climbed to bed and pulled him into a hug. "Shit! Han, did I do something wrong? Please tell me. You're making me worried."
"I'm okay. Really. Just remembered a sad movie." Johan smiled and caressed the underside of Adrian's eyelids. His eyes reminded him of that boy, and he wondered if he kept his slingshot safe. Slowly, he closed his mouth against Adrian's, pulling him to lie on top.
'Please shield me from the pain of my past. Even just for a while.'
Chinese Garter is indeed a game mostly played by girls. So there's the stereotype that guys playing it are gays but... *sighs*
Corporal Punishment... I don't even know where to begin.
Anyway, I didn't post this yesterday because I absorbed too much emotional energy and I was thinking I might regret posting it, but given the future chapters... okay, I'll shut up now.
Can somebody hand me a tissue? No one? Ok bye.
[Adrian's POV]
He could trace desperation in Johan's kisses. His touches, needy. When another tear slipped at the corner of his eyes, he had to pull away.
"Han." Adrian grabbed both sides of his face, pressing their forehead together. "Han, tell me what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"Nothing is wrong, Adrian." Johan reached for his lips again. "I just need you." Kiss. "Close." Another kiss. "Inside." And another one. "I want you inside me now."
"I can't," Adrian said. "Not when you're like this."
"Okay." Johan dropped his weight to the bed. Grabbing the sheets, he gently pushed Adrian away and cocooned himself in a fetal position. "Lock the door when you leave."
Adrian opened his mouth, then closed it again. Carding his fingers through his hair, he got up and walked to the living room with a sigh. They were just happy earlier. He must have fucked up somewhere in their conversation in the kitchen.
Was it the eggplant joke?
Or was it because he asked about his family?
Adrian picked up his discarded clothes on the floor, pausing when he saw the blinking light of his smartphone on the coffee table. He cursed upon seeing the text messages from Rhia an hour ago.
———
Babe: Be out at 12nn.
Babe: Ull pick me up, ryt?
Babe: U asleep?
Babe: It's ok if u can't. I'll just commute. Rest well babe :)
Babe: I love u :)
———
Adrian rubbed his face. The messages were sent around ten, most likely on her last fifteen minutes break. It's already seventeen minutes past eleven. He still had enough time to drive back to the company. He typed a quick reply.
Adrian: Be there to pick u up
After slipping back into his work clothes, Adrian walked to the bedroom. "Han? I'll be going."
Johan sniffled. "Dri-ve safely."
The break in his voice ripped Adrian. How can he leave Johan when it felt like he needed him the most? He's obviously upset about something he doesn't want to share. But Rhia...
Crawling back to bed, Adrian pressed against the curled body. He pulled Johan so they're face to face.
"I thought you're leaving?" Johan asked, not meeting his gaze.
"Yeah." Adrian shifted closer, cupping the back of Johan's head to press him to his chest. "A little later maybe? Once you're feeling better."
"Okay." Johan hugged back and closed his eyes. "Thanks. I guess."
"You're not going to tell me what's on your mind?" Adrian asked.
Johan shook his head and turned around again. He only grabbed Adrian's hand and circled it around him so he's cradled protectively in his arms. "I don't want to talk about it. Let me just sleep and I'll be fine."
Dejection prickled his chest. Johan didn't trust him enough to share his troubles. He cannot force him to talk. All Adrian can do was to let him lay his head on his arm and squeeze tighter to let him feel safe. To whatever's haunting him.
A kiss to the forehead and Adrian let his eyelids flutter shut. Sleep consumed them, unbothered by the phone vibrating under the pillow.
It was late in the afternoon when Adrian jolted from his slumber. It's as if he was reminded of something he needed to do, but through his sleep-induced mind, he couldn't figure out what he's supposed to do.
He grumbled at the disturbing shrill sound of the alarm clock on Johan's bedside table. It flashed 5:01 PM.
Hitting the snooze button, Adrian nestled back to the warmth beside him. Only to jumped when realization dawned onto him.
Rhia. He told Rhia he'd pick her up.
Shit.
Adrian shot up and scrambled to his feet in search of his phone. He ran to the living room to check if he left it on the coffee table. Nothing. He went to the bedroom and found the device peeking underneath a pillow.
The sleeping body stirred at the sudden movement, and Johan woke, scrubbing his eyes. "Adrian... You're still here?"
Adrian felt restless. Five hours of sleep wasn't enough. The inviting warmth tempted him to close his eyes and never wake up. And the missed calls and unanswered texts scared him. Half of them were from his Mom.
Their gaze met. And Johan understood the situation.
"I need to go, Han."
A hand latched to his wrist when he stood. "Go take a quick shower first."
"But Han—"
"I'm sorry. This is my fault." Johan shuffled to his feet and dragged him to the kitchen, slipping his fingers to his own. "But I don't want you getting into any accident. Calm yourself with a cold shower. I'll prepare some coffee."
The gesture already calmed his anxious heart. Helpless, Adrian's arms moved to wrap around Johan as he grabbed two cups in the kitchen drawer. "Why is it when I'm with you, I don't want to go home?"
"That's a problem." Johan whirled to face him. He placed a soft kiss at the corner of his lips. "Because this empty apartment is starting to feel home when you're around."
"But I keep messing up, don't I?"
"It's already a mess to begin with."
Adrian's grip tightened. "Can I stay here if my Mom kicks me out?"
"Let's not jump into conclusion." Johan pulled away and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Now, go on and take a shower. You'll need one anyway since we have shift later."
"I forgot that too." Heck, he even forgot he has a girlfriend. Guilt prickled his conscience knowing he stood her up. It piled to the fact he's cheating behind her back. What she didn't know won't hurt her, right?
After taking a shower and discussing what he should tell his mother over a cup of coffee, Adrian stepped out of Johan's apartment. Odd enough, despite the worst-case scenario playing in his mind, the wind only washed the fear away as he drove home. It only crept up to him the moment he stopped in front of their gate.
Their front door gave an ominous creak when he opened it. Darkness greeted him, which was strange. Their house was eerily quiet. Not even a bark from their German shepherd. He couldn't see their family car in the garage either.
Instead of calling if anyone's home, Adrian trudged to the stairs and into his room. Relief washed his entire being the moment he slumped on his bed. He didn't dare to check his Mom's messages, scared that it would only discourage him to go home.
Johan promised he'd vouch for him like last time with Rhia, not wanting any kind of trouble for both of them. He kept saving his ass whenever he fucked up, and Adrian felt utterly useless for relying on Johan to keep their relationship hidden.
But for how long would they hide their relationship? Adrian didn't know the answer.
Fishing his phone from his pocket, Adrian checked the messages.
———
Babe: Where r u?
Babe: U still coming?
Babe: Babe?
Babe: U fell asleep didn't u
Babe: I'll just commute. Sleep tight :)
———
If he's a douchebag for cheating, he's an asshole now that he stood her up. Adrian rubbed his face and dialed her number. Rhia picked up after the fourth ring.
"Babe?"
Adrian sighed. "Sorry, Babe. I fell asleep." Only, he fell asleep in someone else's bed.
"I know!" Rhia only laughed. Her clear voice held no malice at his mistake. "But it's okay, Babe. I know you're used to sleeping around noontime. I'm used to it too and it's hard trying to adjust to my new schedule. I even dozed off at the pantry earlier while waiting for you."
A heavy feeling pressed his chest tight, and his room suddenly felt cramped. Adrian fell to his back, bouncing on his bed. "Sorry. I'll make it up to you, okay?"
"I wouldn't mind a date," she chirped. "If that's what you're hinting at?"
"Okay. We both have Sunday off, so... Movies?"
"I'll look forward to it. Oh! By the way, your Mom called earlier, but I was asleep so I didn't get to answer. Is everything okay?"
Adrian didn't know. He found their house empty when he got home. He won't tell her that, though. At the sound of her mother's call could be heard in the background, Rhia didn't ask further.
"Babe, I gotta go. It's dinner. You prepping for work?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, okay. Later, Babe!"
"Later."
Not even a minute after the call ended, his phone vibrated again on his palm, his Mom's caller ID flashing on the screen. He hasn't read her messages yet, so he didn't know what to expect. Albeit hesitant, Adrian pressed the answer button.
"Mom?"
"Thank God, you finally answered! Where have you been?"
Adrian frowned at her restless tone. "I'm in my room right now. Where are you and everyone?"
Muffled noises were on her end. As if she's on the road. Adelia sniveled. "We're on our way to Pangasinan."
Wait, they went on a road trip? But why does she sound like she's crying?
Adrian stood and strode to the window beside his bed as he waited for her mother to drop the bomb. When she did, his gut twisted in a painful knot.
"Your brother." Adelia held a sob. "A-Aaron was shot in an encounter."
I swear my laptop is punishing me for what I wrote last chapter. I got scared when it didn't open yesterday. I need to back up my files just in case, but damn it I need my laptop to keep on writing!
Anyway, thanks for reading!
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