Kapitel 15: Chapter 15: Mother's Love

I was sure she was going to be furious with me. So, when I entered the throne room with my head artificially raised and my shoulders shaking from forcing them back, I was shocked to find my mother not only smiling but hurrying toward me. She embraced me with so much warmth I hugged her in return, too surprised and overcome with relief to do anything else.

"My darling," she whispered in my ear. "You're home." Her hands stroked my hair, eyes exploring my face as she beamed at me. "Come, come." She led me toward her throne dais, where Daphne gaped in horrified fury and her other favorite sisters tittered their disbelief at this odd turn of events. I sank into the smaller chair that was usually Daphne's with great trepidation but it was hard to hold onto my nerves when my mother drenched me in her love.

She was manipulating me again, yes. But I'd been so long outside her confidence and lacking in my own sense of worth I figured it couldn't hurt to lap it up a bit. Savor it even and squirrel some away for later. Because I was certain everything would collapse around me again, no question. It was only a matter of time. Having this feeling to look back on would either keep me from falling apart or just make things ten times more dreadful.

I was willing to risk it to spend actual time with my mother.

All my sarcastic, cynical beliefs about her faded away in the face of her adoration. She refused to release my hand, strong fingers clasping mine as she leaned in, perfumed hair brushing my knees, head tilted toward me, her entire focus on my face while she shut out everyone else. I'd been on the other side of her pleasure, had stood by pretending it didn't hurt when she ignored me in favor of Daphne or one of my other sisters. Though it felt amazing to be here, in this seat for once, it did help me sober slightly.

Why? I didn't get to ask, not when Mom's breathy question beat me to it.

"What happened with the infant?" She didn't sound upset in the least, more so curious to the point of glee. I stammered my apologies but she waved them off, nodding for me to tell her what happened. I did, as much as I knew. The moment I mentioned the mist, Mom hissed and sat back. But she wasn't angry. If anything she seemed satisfied by something. Did she know then what I was, what I was meant to be?

"Eve," Mom said, smiling openly, "my dearest child, you have no idea, do you, the momentousness of your words?" I shook my head, opened my mouth to ask her. Mom swept to her feet and pulled me up with her, hugging me around the shoulders with one arm. "I've worried for you, darling," she said, walking me down the steps, past the flabbergasted and hurt Daphne who glared murder in my direction, "all these years. Feared for you." Her emotions stirred tears in my eyes. She certainly felt things deeply and shared that well. "I had terrible concern you were broken, through no fault of your own." She paused, turning me to face her. "Your father and I." Mom stopped briefly, wistful smile crossing her face. "Well. He'd loved me for so long and I was lonely, you see. For someone beyond the mortal souls we use for procreation." Awkward. I cleared my throat, blushing, but Mom didn't seem to notice. "We both feared having you would mean some terrible result, being Life and Death after all." They did? I had no idea. "And when you seemed unable to fulfill the simple tasks of your siblings." She seemed to swoon, emotions rippling from anguish to despair to fear and back again, leaving me dizzy. "You can imagine how much we blamed ourselves for your troubles."

They did? The last eight years of whining seemed petty and wasteful now. My parents did love me. And I'd just been hiding in my self-pity.

Mom went on while I spiraled into blame. Her lips brushed my forehead, her hands squeezing my bare shoulders. "Darling," she said. "My very dear Evie, I've only now realized how wrong we both were. And how important you are to all of us."

My mind glossed over the fact she'd used Kael's hated nickname in favor of more shock. Me? My mind squeaked that word to the deep, booming chime of Death calling. I jumped at the sound, though Mom didn't seem startled, just irritated in a flare of pique. But when Dad appeared in his full Grim Reaper attire, or his projection anyway, she had regained her composure and practically glowed with power and Life.

"Samael," she said. "We were just talking about you."

"Isis." Dad bowed his grinning skull head at her. "I would speak to you in private."

Mom clapped her hands, sending Daphne and the others scurrying from the throne room. But when I tried to leave she clasped my elbow and held me. Daphne's scowl was all the notice I needed she planned to punish me as soon as she caught me alone. Frankly I wasn't all that concerned, despite our history. I had Mom's attention for the first time in my life. Her love. And I was about to find out what I was meant to do.

This day couldn't get any better considering how badly it had been going.

"Speak, Samael," Mom said.

"Eve." Dad's heavy tone told me he wished I'd go, but Mom didn't release me.

"You are here to talk about our daughter," she said. "The least you can do is speak in front of her. For once." That last tag of condemnation hurt if only because I didn't realize they'd been discussing me behind my back. Which was silly, really. Of course they had. I was their errant kid who couldn't do anything right. They probably only talked about me. Still, the fact Dad confided in Mom about me didn't sit well.

Not well at all.

"As you wish." Dad's smoky robes rustled, shed as his human form appeared in its stead, shrinking to our size, though he remained a projection. "I wanted to talk to you about releasing Eve from the tasks of an angel of Life."

"Already done." Mom waved him off like he was behind the times by about a year. Dad seemed startled, but smiled at me.

"Excellent," he said. "I'd also request Eve return to Undertown then so we can begin testing to see what it is she's meant to do, if not the tasks of our children." Like I wasn't really his child now? He didn't mean it that way, but Mom's resistance affected me, I admit it.

"How dare you try to steal my beautiful darling from me only a day after she's come home?" Mom's arm returned around my shoulders. "I am perfectly capable of assisting her in finding her calling, Samael. I, at least, have never doubted her. Unlike her father."

Dad? I didn't have to speak, to ask the question, even though I wanted to deny her words. The instant she spoke the guilt on his face flared to life and told me what I needed to know.

Was I that big of a fool? Had I misread his kindness for trust and her distraction for disappointment? It was certainly starting to look that way.

"Eve." Dad sighed. "I only want what's best for you."

I nodded, biting my bottom lip to keep from asking him to please tell me he hadn't been lying to me all this time.

"As do I." Mom's gaze turned stern. "Tell me, Samael. Have I ever once questioned Eve's sanity, ability or birth?"

He shook his head, pale face even more washed out than usual. "Never," he said. Paused a long moment before meeting my eyes, sorrow there. "But I have. Is that what you're getting at, Isis?"

I would have sunk to the floor in utter broken shock if Mom hadn't had her arm around me.

"It is," she said. "Now, if you're done, Eve and I have work to do. And a life's purpose to discover." Mom waved him off, though Dad took longer than she would have liked from the growing frown on her face to vanish. Time that he used to try to speak to me, his mouth opening and closing before he finally nodded and disappeared.

The chime of his departure sounded, Mom ignoring it as she spun me to face her and shook me just a little.

"No despair," she said. "I've learned men aren't worth it, darling. And we have so much excitement to explore." Mom didn't wait, her enthusiasm returning while I stumbled next to her in numb pain at the fact my father, the only person I ever really trusted, never felt the same for me.

Thank you, Creation, for shaking the snow globe of my life repeatedly and in short order.

The doors to the exit swung open at Mom's gesturing command and it wasn't until she hurried me toward the bridge I jerked back to myself and thought to ask a question.

"Where are we going?" Obvious and a little trite, but I needed something to hold onto while my aching feet moved faster to keep up with her.

"The one place I know of," she said with a wink, "we might get answers. Time to pay a call on your Auntie Fates."

***

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