Kapitel 181: A selfish desire.
Sabastian was having breakfast when Erisviel joined him at the table.
"Good morning, Sabas." Pouring a glass of orange juice for herself Erisviel greeted Sabastian.
"Morning, Eris." Sabastian greeted back, eating a piece of boiled carrot with a fork.
There were a few minutes of silence before Erisviel broke the silence.
"I know that you want to adopt her, but I don't see the point of it at all! Something like a reason 'I feel guilty' is BS. Events like this are common and might happen again the future, are you going to adopt every child you come across?" Erisviel said to Sabastian.
She can't understand why Sabastian is so hung up on the little girl.
Hearing Erisviel Sabastian felt tired suddenly, even though he just woke up 15 minutes ago.
"I already told you guys, you guys can't change my mind! My decision is final, I'm adopting her. That's it, period! Let's just drop this topic, if you don't have anything to say Eris. Can you please let me enjoy my breakfast?" Sabastian said turning his head facing Erisviel.
The others tried to persuade him to not adopt the little girl as well but he is firm with his decision and he will stick with.
"Okay, I will stop. I'll just tell you the reports of the psyche consult you ordered."
"Then tell me what they have said!" Sabastian said using exaggerated hand gesture and facial expression.
"She is traumatised. She doesn't speak, she doesn't show any emotions, she panics when she hears loud noises that sound similar to gunshots and she also panics when she sees guns or anything resembling a gun. She is like a robot, programmed to do daily routine tasks. She doesn't communicate with anyone, most of the time she just stares into the distance or at a wall. She wakes up screaming every night from nightmares, the only way to calm her down is by giving her tranquillizers-" Erisviel was interrupted by Sabastian's angry outburst.
"Sedatives! She's a child, Eris! Are you guys out of your minds!!!"
Erisviel calmly replied to Sabastian.
"There are no side effects, it's created by Ana!"
"Are there no alternatives!" Sabastian raised his voice again, he believes Ana and her skills but he still doesn't support the use of sedatives.
"Sabastian, she screams every night from the nightmares and has panic attacks. They have been mixing sedatives on her drinks before sleep so she could have a dreamless, nightmare less sleep without panic attacks! Either we give her a peaceful dreamless sleep or give her nightmares of the memories about her parents dying in front of her and you the person who almost died in front of her. You decide what should we do then!!!" Erisviel replied to Sabastian but her tone was aggressive.
Sabastian fell into silence after hearing Erisviel.
"I'm sorry..."
He apologised for his angry outburst.
"Apology accepted."
Erisviel sighed before finishing the orange juice in one go.
"She's an intelligent girl..." Erisviel commented.
"I know."
"But we still think you are being overly unreasonable to extremes, Sabastian."
"..." Sabastian.
Suddenly a voice sounded from the entrance of the room.
"You know I just remembered! Because it was too sensitive of a topic to you, we never talked about it in our past life. Since it was like 40 something years ago, I almost forgot about it. But now I remember!"
Nyx on her wheelchair arrived in front of Erisviel and Sabastian.
"She's not Myka!" Nyx said turning to Sabastian.
"My decision doesn't have anything to do with her!" Sabastian replied irritably.
"Is it not? But to me it looks like, it does!"
"It's not!"
"The girl is like a carbon copy of her, minus the memories. I wonder is the girl a reincarnated individual or she just looks like 'her'?"
"She's not!!!" Yelled.
Erisviel feeling confused asked Nyx.
"Whos Myka?"
"His daughter." Nyx replied.
"You have a daughter!" Erisviel said turning to Sabastian. She was shocked by hearing Nyx's reply.
"Had a daughter!" Sabastian.
"Adopted daughter." Nyx.
Nyx turning to Sabastian, spoke to him.
"She reminds you of Myka, that's why you are hell-bent on adopting her. You didn't pick her up to save her or any of the other BS. You're cold-hearted, Basti! If it was someone else, you wouldn't have done anything. A family of three, just happen to be at the wrong time and wrong place. It was their fate they died, you're cold-hearted enough to not feel anything about it. A casualty of your fate, happened to you a lot of time in the past, right? So why should she get special treatment? You could have saved yourself from all of this!"
Nyx pointed a finger to his wounds and the wheelchair.
"But you almost killed yourself. Why? Because she looks exactly like your dead adopted daughter! If the girl's parents didn't die, you still would have barged your way into the girl's life. But her parents are dead, she doesn't have anyone else. They died because of you, yeah you feel a bit of guilt because she looks just like Myka but the amount of guilt is minuscule. Only a teeny tiny part of you does feel guilty."
*thwack*
Slapping her best friend, Nyx said to him.
"STOP BEING AN ASSHAT! You can be selfish, there's nothing wrong with it. Just be honest with yourself and us. She clings onto you like you are her family. She knows that her parents died because those people were after you, she doesn't blame you. That girl is very intelligent. She doesn't have anyone else, a complete stranger is now everything to her. She likes you!"
Sabastian rubbing his cheek uttered "ouuuuuch!"
"I don't mind you adopting her, Basti. But you should know that it is a heavy responsibility you're going to shoulder. Although we are old souls, our body is still of a teen and most of the time our young body influences our soul. You are not Bastian Roseno'Greyback, you're Sabastian Franz Heilige! You have too many baggage in your shoulders-"
"She's not a baggage!"
"Yes, she's not. Sorry for that, but you know what I mean bro! You need to have a good talk with her, Basti."
"I know." Sabastian sighed hearing Nyx.
"We will also help her find herself once more, I want to see the smile that you talked about." Nyx said pouring a glass of juice for herself.
All this talk made her throat dry.
"So, wow!" Erisviel on her seat rolled her eyes a few times and shook her head.
"Quite unexpected revelation, but I guess now it makes sense."
Turning to Nyx, Erisviel enquired.
"Do you too have any daughter or son? Adopted of course, since you're still a virgin both soul and body."
Nyx rolled her eyes at Erisviel before replying to her.
"I don't have a human daughter or son but I did have non-human daughter and son."
Erisviel widened her eyes hearing Nyx.
She only joked about it and didn't expect such an answer from Nyx.
"It's not what you think Eris. If you don't mind labelling a Cerberus, a son and a Phoenix, a daughter. Then yeah! They did have a son and a daughter. Nyx/Aaron had pets who they treated as their son and daughter."
Erisviel nodded.
"I don't see anything wrong with that."
"You two are idiots!"
"We are not!" Both Erisviel and Nyx said at the same time.
"I'm going to go have breakfast, I feel hungry. I can't eat these boiled veggies, it's bland!" Nyx said taking a bite of boiled cauliflower.
Before Nyx turned to leave, she slapped Sabastian on the other cheek.
*thwack*
"Ouuch! What's that for!!!" Sabastian cried out in pain.
"Cause you said, I'm an idiot!" Nyx replied leaving Sabastian's room.
"You witch!" Sabastian shouted.
*twhack*
"Wtf, why did you slap me for!" Sabastian shouted at Erisviel who slapped him on the cheek which Nyx slapped at first.
"Because you called me an idiot!" Erisviel said leaving the room.
"HUNDRED CURSES, NO, THOUSAND CURSES TO YOU TWO!!!" Sabastian roared rubbing both of his cheeks.
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
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