Kapitel 28: The Office
The whole car ride over was silent. Neither of the girls spoke. Neither knew even where to begin.
When they entered the building, and made their way to Chloe's office, Chloe unlocked and entered the room while Emily stayed just outside of the door.
"I-" She cleared her throat, "I should get going. Go-"
Just as she was about to say goodnight, Chloe cut her off.
"Come in." She said quietly.
"W-"
"You look like shit. Come in." She swung the door back, and stood beside it, allowing Emily to pass in front of her. Just seeing Emily so miserable made her heart ache.
"So...I'm going to talk now, and you are just going to listen. There are some things I need to say to you just to get them to stop clawing at my mind. So just...Sit tight. Got it?" Her voice still sounded somewhat depressed, but also had some pep to it, if that was even possible.
Emily nodded silently, and made her way to the couch where she sat on the right-most cushion.
Chloe watched her sit down, then moved toward her boss's desk. She opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a bottle of vodka and a shot glass.
"Want one?"
Emily shook her head, and Chloe acknowledged it with a nod. She closed the drawer and walked back over to Emily, sitting in the chair already positioned at the other side of the coffee table. She filled her shot glass to the top, and drank it before setting it and the vodka on the table.
Her head started to spin slightly as she began speaking.
"Em...I know you have to figure out some things - a lot of things. Of course I want you to get your shit together, but becoming yourself doesn't take 5 minutes."
She reached for the vodka, but Emily pulled it away and sat it on the floor next to her. Chloe gave her a fake smile, pretending to thank her.
"I understand what I did tonight, and I'm sorry. I know that that will probably change what you think of me, but that's okay. I want you to see the whole me. That being said, I will still never forgive myself for disrespecting you like that." She shrugged her shoulders, and briefly made eye contact with Emily before looking away. She lifted her head and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before lowering her head and continuing.
"I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just want to be there for you." She sighed quietly and started picking at her fingernails.
"Can I speak?" Emily tilted her head and leaned forward.
"Yeah" She said with a chuckle. Her throat was tight, and tears were starting to form in her eyes.
Emily sighed deeply. She noticed that Chloe's eyes were tearing up, and painfully resisted from comforting her.
"I think that you should forgive yourself. I already forgave you. A while ago actually, but that's not my point. I understand that you want to be there for me. But...You can't."
Tears slowly started making their way from Chloe's eyes down the side of her face. Her lips were pursed, head still facing the ceiling, heart aching even more than before.
"Heh. Can I have the vodka back?" her voice cracked. She was trying to smile, but she could feel her lips shaking and knew that Emily was able to see it. She wiped the tears off of her cheeks with her palms and reached one hand out to Emily, expecting the alcohol.
"Please?" Her hand started shaking, but she tried (and failed) to conceal it as much as possible.
"No." She replied tonelessly. "I need you to remember what I'm saying." She raised her eyebrows and lowered her head before clearing her throat.
"I do like you, Chloe. Don't get me wrong. These past few months have been great, but like I've said before, I realized that I'm not ready."
Chloe slowly nodded her head as she sported a lopsided grin.
"Friends?" She asked sorrowfully.
"...No." Emily uncomfortable, shifted in her seat.
Chloe scoffed lightly and tilted her head forward in confusion.
"No...?" She repeated under her breath.
"O-okay." She said shakily. "Um, I think that you should go." Chloe mumbled the painful words as tears once again began flowing down her face. She stood up from her chair, smoothed out her skirt, walked over to the office door, and opened it. She stood slightly behind it and scratched at her nose while she waited for Emily to get up and leave the room.
"I-" Emily began, but was caught off.
"Mmhmm." Chloe nodded her head and closed the door after Emily was barely outside of the threshold.
Once outside of the room, Emily sad down on the floor to her left of the office door.
She had been trying to conceal her feelings for so long that she had to let it all burst out. She started hyperventilating quietly, covering her mouth with both hands. She leaned her head back on the wall behind her and tried to calm herself.
"That was the right thing to do." Emily could feel her chest tightening when she told herself this, knowing it wasn't what she wanted, but what needed to happen.
Chloe walked away from the door, one hand on her mouth, the other on her hip. Her tears rolled over the side of her hand as she bent over to snatch the vodka. Her shaky hands lifted the bottle to her mouth, as she drank until she needed a breath. She tried to take deep breaths when she was done, but the painful hitches in her throat stifled her breathing.
Chloe stared at the glass bottle, trying to calm herself by focusing on it.
Upon seeing her reflection in the glass, smeared makeup and bandages on her nose, she quickly turned around and threw the bottle as hard as she could at the wall.
"Fuck." She grunted quietly.
Emily, still outside the door, flinched at the sound of the glass breaking. Her eyes remained closed after this, and her tears doubled in number.
She knew that this was best for both of them; Emily needed time to work things out with herself, and didn't want to string Chloe along. Then why did it feel like all of this pain was going to cause the both of them so much more trouble than the alternative?
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein