Kapitel 47: Part XLVII.

Brushing my teeth aggressively, out of both anger and shame, the bristles move hard against my gum and I wince in pain, spitting into the basin.

"Argh!" I grumble in annoyance. I completely embarrassed myself, how am I going to face him now!. I closed my eyes like a fucking turd!. I'm so dumb. Its all his fault tho, he came too close and made his voice sound a certain type of way. No, I'm sure he didn't mean it in anyway. He just woke up and his voice was still groggy from the sleep, but my dumbass brain just had to misinterpret everything like the fucking fool that I am!.

What was I even thinking? That he'd kiss me? And instead of pushing him off I freaking closed my damn eyes!. I should kill myself so they close permanently!. I'm so stupid.

Rinsing my mouth and the toothbrush, I exit the bathroom and my knees buckle once I set eyes on Sean sitting in the couch looking at me with an evil smirk and my face reddens immediately. I'm sure he noticed that I closed my eyes. Fuck! Can a damn whale appear from thin air and swallow me up please!. Save me from this shame oh dear god.

"Hey." He says casually and I smile nervously, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Why are you standing over there and staring at me like you've just seen a ghost?" He asks and my face reddens even more but I look away to hide it, my hair aiding a little.

"I'm not staring." I say lowly and walk nervously to the bed, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

"No," he says just as I'm about to sit on the bed, "come sit here."

"What?" I ask as he motions for me to sit on the couch with him.

"I want you to sit close to me, I don't wanna talk loudly. The walls have ears you know." He explains but that's not concrete enough. Even if I sit on the bed, I'd still hear him perfectly without him having to speak loudly but to avoid any more embarrassing situations, I'd just do as he wishes.

"Isn't this better." He says once I'm settled in the chair and I smile nervously. Why am I so nervous! It's just Sean goddamn it.

"You came into my room last night." he says seriously and I avoid his eyes even more, looking away in shame, "Again. Even after your experience the last time. Why?."

"I er, I just wanted to you know er, check up on you and stuff." I ramble, embarrassing myself even more.

"What did you see?" He asks and sweat starts to form on my forehead. Is he still mad? Gosh, I'm so scared right now.

"I, I d-didn't see anything, nothing at all."

"No," he turns my face to look at him but I avoid his eyes, "tell me honestly, what did you see?."

By his voice, you can tell he wants to hear the truth but what if I'm misreading it all again and he'll kill me for seeing him.

"I don't, I don't know what-"

"Stop it Crystal," he cuts me off, "look into my eyes." He says but I stay put, looking away from him but he grabs my chin and turns my head to face him.

"Look at me Crystal." He says seriously and I look at his eyes which hold an emotion in them. An emotion he always conceals but deep down in his eyes, it's there. He's scared, sad.

"I want to hear it." He says and I nod once, barely noticeable.

"You were having a nightmare and it seemed really terrible because you were thrashing on the bed, holding the sheets tightly, sweating profusely and mumbling some incoherent words. The first time, I was so scared your dream would kill you that I tried to wake you up but this time seemed more sad than scary." I pause and look at him, "you shed a tear Sean."

He looks away at that part, probably ashamed I saw all of that.

"Hey," I touch his arm lightly and he looks back at me, "that doesn't make you any less of a person. Everyone has their weaknesses, some more than the others but they're still weaknesses nonetheless." I smile at him, "you're looking at a truckload of weakness." I point to myself and he chuckles making my smile widen.

"Is that why you closed your eyes?" He asks and my smile falls immediately as I look away embarrassed. Why did he have to bring that up now. Asshole!.

"It was cute." He says, contrary to what I was expecting and I look at him confused but he only smiles and relaxes into the chair. Cute? I'd never understand this man.

"I'm sorry I came into your room." I say after a few seconds of silence.

"It's not your fault," he sighs, "if I had given you food, you wouldn't have had any reason to come out in the first place."

Aha! I knew it wasn't completely my fault and that I'm supposed to be mad at him too.

"But there's no explanation for coming into my room," he says before I can respond and comes really close to my face, his minty breath fanning my lips. Does he always eat mint or what! "Don't do it again."

He goes back to his position and I release the breath I didn't know I was holding. What's going on with me lately! Argh!.

"It's been really long since any man came this close you dummy." My subconscious says but I shut her off immediately. I refuse to think about that.

"So," I decide to start a conversation to keep my mind from wandering off to abominable places, "how's Miranda?"

"Well," he says, "she should be out in two days I guess."

"Oh," I nod, "and we're getting married when?" It's not like I want to get married to him, but I don't seem to have a choice in this so I might as well be informed about the upcoming events in my life.

"Pretty soon."

"How soon?"

"We need to inform everyone and get everything in place. Joe asks to wait for Miranda too so the wedding should take place in five days." He explains and I nod. Wow, that's pretty soon.

"And after that?" I ask

"You'll see." He says and smirks mischievously causing a thought to pop up in my head.

"When you said your position can be taken away from you if you don't have an heir," he turns to look at me and cocks an eyebrow, "who's gonna give you that heir?."

"My wife?" He says and looks at me like I'm dumb, but I think I really am dumb. How come I never thought of this part of the whole marriage shit!.

"I'm going to give you a child?" I ask and he nods, smiling this time.

"How?" I ask without thinking and he laughs a little.

"I'm very sure you're familiar with the process Crystal." My head turns to a tomato and I glare at him, earning another laughter.

"Don't worry babe," he says and comes closer, "I'll be gentle."

"Oh shut up!" I say and punch his arm, only making him laugh harder. I have to find a way to get out of this mess.

"We'd sleep in the same room." I say and he stops laughing abruptly, "your nightmares."

His face hardens a little and i give myself a fist bump in my head, proud of my brilliant idea.

"We'd have separate rooms Crystal." He says and smiles again, "I'll only come to fu-"

"Shhhh!" I shut him up and he laughs even harder than before, "gosh I hate you so much!"

"I love you more sweetie!" He pulls me into his chest and plants a kiss on my forehead making my eyes widen but I don't even try to move away. Just five fucking days! What the hell have I gotten myself into.