Kapitel 49: - For The War Torn
Lukali didn't know what to say, as he stared at the figure before him, his eyes filled with a firing rage, yet he acted so calm.
Calm…
It was then that Lukali remembered an old saying that his father once told him when he asked how he knew a battle was coming.
Lukali could still remember his words.
'You know a battle is about to come from the calm.'
'Calm?'
'Yes. The calm before the storm - that's what we call it. A storm that is waiting on the edge, holding itself back, waiting to strike and deal the most damage.'
Lukali felt that and more when he looked into the eyes of this man - Cain as he called himself.
He was a predator, and Lukali was either an injured rabbit, or a meal waiting to be eaten.
It was then that Lukali remembered something, something that caught him off guard.
'Cain? Cain….Lia'
It finally clicked for Lukali, as he stared on into the same eyes he had seen in Lia.
'This is her summons. She told me about it.'
"Correct."
Catching Lukali off guard, Can spoke, his words portraying a calming feeling, at level with the environment around him.
"My name is Cain, and as you have said, I am Lia's summons."
"B-But I didn't say anything."
Cain smiled, pointing towards the side of his head, gesturing to his mind.
"But you did."
The gesture sent shivers down his spine, though he didn't know why. Was it perhaps because the gesture seemed too far-fetched to be true, or was it perhaps because the truth was so far-fetched that one would never have normally believed it.
Lukali didn't know.
"Why did you bring me here? If your Lia's summons then why would you attack-"
"But I never attacked you."
Cain smiled, his face betraying some devilish idea that Lukali didn't know.
A loop hole he couldn't place.
'Why would he lie?'
Cain, sensing Lukali's confusion, frowned, his smile disappearing before his eyes. In one split second, Lukali watched as Cain's body disappeared before reappearing in front of him, mere inches from his face.
"Perhaps you don't yet understand, Lukali."
He leaned in closer, his words edged with a threatening, booming voice, yet his words could not be softer than a gentle breeze.
"I. Did. Not. Attack. You."
With each word he said, he put an even deeper emphasis on each individual word, hoping to show Lukali exactly what he meant.
And thankfully, the man seemed to understand easily, as he carefully shook his head, keeping calm, though the rattling of his knees said something else.
'He's afraid. Terrified. Well, might as well be considering what I'm about to do to him.'
"Lukali."
Cain took a step back, creating a fair amount of distance between them, before he spoke again, his voice firm and steady.
"I have made an unspoken promise of sorts with Lia. And, as you are now most likely aware of my power, I won't make this threat lightly."
"Th-Threat?"
"Correct. You see, my promise with my contractee - Lia - goes as follows. I would allow her to deal with your little failure of self confidence, so long as she helped you overcome it, rather than doing everything for you. For that matter, because I have told her this, and made this promise, I cannot touch you, nor can I fix you."
It was then that an odd choice of words set Lukali on edge as the conversation replayed in his mind.
'Fix? What did he mean by fix?'
Before he could ask his unspoken question, Cain stopped him with his words.
"Yes. Fix. Due to my unspoken promise with Lia, I cannot touch you, nor can I 'help' you."
The way Cain emphasized the word help made Lukali think it was anything but that, but he didn't dare point this out, as the man before him was terrifying him.
"Because of this, I will be very clear in my next words, so pay attention, and pay very, very close attention as I am in no mood to repeat myself."
As Lukali nodded his head in affirmation, Cain's voice grew quiet, stern, and frightening.
"Whatever happens here will never leave this forest, do you understand? For if you do, I will throw you from this very cliff, keeping this scene forever engraved in your memories."
Again, Lukali solemnly nodded his head, too afraid to say much of anything.
However, that didn't matter to Cain, who took Lukali's fear as all the answers the man could answer.
"Now, I am going to help you overcome your demons, to shed them like some forgotten cloak. A cloak that has torn and tethered its way unto your flesh. A cloak that weighs you down, offers no protection, yet is what pulls you from strength. However, I have made this promise to not and never do it for you. You must overcome your demons by yourself, by your own strength, understand?"
Lukali didn't nod his head or even look to Cain to give any form of answer. Because of this, Cain raised an eyebrow, questioning Lukali.
"Why are you helping me?"
However, Cain never got to ask what was bothering Lukali, as the man himself interrupted his train of thought, speaking from his own heart.
"Why? Isn't that a simple guess?"
Luakli made no motion to understand what Cain was saying, and seemed far unamused at his words.
Scoffing, Cain continued speaking, not minding the obvious hint of annoyance Lukali was giving off.
"It's because I don't want Lia to worry about you. She may be strong, though not nearly strong enough, she also has a blind side to compassion. She would do anything it takes to save her 'friends'"
Cain made air quotes on the last word 'friends' as if the thought of them being a party, being close, was a mere joke to him.
It only served to further amplify Lukali's annoyance, fading races of anger beginning to show.
"While these qualities are exactly what you would be looking for in a kind, compassionate, yet strong Hunter, Lia is far too distracted by you and Rian to achieve her own goals."
"And what does that mean?"
"Oh, so the statue does speak."
Cain said, taunting the man, whose anger was written all over his face.
"What it means, Lukali, is that - until you fix yourself and your nasty little habits - Lia will never stop worrying about you? After all, that's what a party member does - no, that's what a party leader does."
"And what's so wrong with her worrying about me?"
Sighing, Cain motioned to the surrounding area, a beautiful landscape that one would be almost forced by nature itself to make a double take.
"You see this place. It is inside a balance. A balanced force where each living thing works not only for itself, but for others. The sad thing about that is this; eventually, this valley will be filled with nothing but dead trees, and an empty landscape."
"Why?"
"Simple. Because if the entire valley worries about one little tree, one tree in a vast landscape like this, then they will all put this one dead tree above their own priority, leaving themselves neglectful, and empty. Inevitable to die in the end, all because they focused on helping one, rather than none."
Lukali shook his head, taking several steps away from Cain.
"But that won't happen. If Lia is worried about me, then I'll push her away. She won't end up like that."
"And how do you know? She's strong, but one thing I can never go against with her is not her strength, intelligence, or even her power. It's her resolve. And trust me Lukali, if I can't beat it, you won't stand a chance."
Luakli was silent for a moment, thinking hard on the idea of Lia being worried about him, and the repercussions her own path would take if she was always focused on him.
Shaking his head, he was still unconvinced.
"I can fix it. It's no big deal anyways, so Lia doesn't need to worry about me-"
"You're not listening to me. Lia will always know."
"How?"
"....It isn't my place to say."
He said, turning his focus back onto the vast landscape before him, paying only a small glance at Lukali as he did so.
"Then how do you know she won't stop? If I keep telling her, eventually she will stop…right?"
"Why ask me for confirmation?"
"Well…because…"
Lukali couldn't answer, no matter how much he searched for one to give.
Instead, Cain finished his sentence, his voice calm, but emotionless.
"Because you're afraid I'm right, so you search for someone else to make that connection, preventing yourself from being proved wrong."
"That's not-"
"Listen to me, Lukali. Lia will never stop worrying about you, so long as there is a reason she has to worry about you for. She's good at finding these things out by means I'm not at liberty to discuss as it is her private information. However, I will say this."
"..."
Surprised by his own silence, Lukali came to realize just how intently he was waiting for an answer.
"Trauma is like a demon on the shoulder of justice. The voice in your head that tells you to run, fight, kill, steal…purge."
He turned to Luakli, his eyes flashing in a crimson hue.
"That voice will burn away in your mind, keeping out the memories, the thoughts, the logic, until there is nothing but that voice in your head. A mind numbing voice, a voice that will eat you from the inside."
He pointed to the side of his head, gesturing to the brain inside.
"The memories will flood here, blind you, numb your pain until those thoughts are the only thing that hurts. But can you imagine what that would be like? To lose the sense of pain you would feel from seeing death before you?"
Lukali was confused by this rant, though he knew it was vastly important to what happened next for him, so he quietly listened to what Cain had to say, amazed by his view on the idea of trauma.
He had always been taught that pain from inside is a pain one can crush, burn and fuel to ignite a passion of power in the bones, and strengthen the resolve of a warrior.
Perhaps it was because this idea made little sense to him, that Cain's explanation somehow hit harder than he thought possible.
"You will watch your friends die, your family, and all those who care for you. Yet you will feel nothing, because that one memory, that one event you refuse to shed away like a lost piece of trash that found its way into your pocket. Because it is that one memory that brings you a numbing pain you cannot shake. You will freeze, paralyzed with fear, and when those deaths happen before your very eyes…"
He was close now, his every word resonating in his ears like a deep sounding voice of a god who had seen everything, known everything, and felt everything.
That saw the world for nothing less than expendable.
"...you will feel nothing."
And it was then, as Lukali looked deep into his eyes, did he finally realize something that he should have seen from the very beginning.
'Of course, how could one talk about trauma like this unless-'
Lukali didn't get a chance to finish that thought, as a voice echoed in his ears - his mind - yet no words were ever heard.
'You know what it feels like.'
"Cain…?"
His voice was shaky, somehow afraid of knowing.
But Cain showed him no mercy, as he gazed deeply into his eyes, feeling that same sense of dread that he felt when he was forced to listen to his own mother, tortured and killed. Dying an empty death.
He felt it now as his gaze met Cain's.
Suddenly, Cain turned, refusing to show him more, feel more, and know more than he would allow.
He reached out to grab him, to know that pain hidden in those eyes filled with an undeniable rage he understood now all too well.
But his hand only grabbed empty air, as Cain was now standing on the cliff edge overlooking the vast valley below him.
His voice was silent, barely audible over the roaring wind that stopped instantly, the moment the last words flew from his lips.
"These events - these memories are like a disease or an illness that rots you away from the inside. They tackle your emotions. Then your beliefs. Then your morals. Logic, ideas, loyalty, respect, honor, anger, pain, joy, sadness - all the in between and before. It will eat you away from the inside, until there is nothing left."
It was then that Lukali found his eyes drifting to the landscape beside him, only to find a vast and empty expanse of dead trees, brush, and dry rivers, ponds and creeks.
The place was black and gray, like a blanket of ash had covered it in the few seconds they had spoken.
'Gods…'
"But if you cut that rot out, refuse to feed the rot and let it grow…"
A small red leaf fluttered around his hands, turning blacker and blacker with every rotation it made around his fingers.
Eventually the leaf turned to a pitch black color, before it turned to ash and dust, fading away into the wind as it blew across the mountain top.
"....you can let the better parts thrive in a world of a false reality. For a false view, is better than a dead one."
Tearing his eyes from Cain, his mind in a somewhat mental shock, Lukali forced himself to look back at the forest and mountain valley.
And what met his eyes was even more beautiful than what he had originally seen when he first laid his eye over the valley.
A blanket of red, yellow, and orange - the color of fall - fell over the leaves of every tree dotting the mountain, before it faded out, replaced by a blanket of pure white.
Fall.
Winter.
Spring.
Summer.
The valley formed all four seasons in an instant, fading from one, and into another. A cycle that didn't stop, but instead got faster with each passing turn, until a flurry of leaves, and the roaring wind forced his eyes back on Cain, who stood silently overlooking the valley below.
"The cycle will continue. So you must learn to accept what has come, what has happened and know that you cannot change it no matter what you do. "
He gestured to the leaves turning a bright orange and red color - Fall.
"So you shed those thoughts, those memories and accept that they've happened, and let them fall from your mind like the rot that they are, eating away at you until you are no more."
The leaves fell from the tree as a blanket of white snow fell over the branches and the trunk, covering the ground beneath it in white.
"Taking time to heal, as not doing so, only encourages the rot to regrow. Let yourself heal, and let yourself accept it. A fresh view."
Then the leaves turned green as the sun peaked from over the mountain tops, fading through the leaves, casting shadows across the ground.
"And suddenly, you are anew. Stronger than before, yet not any less human inside."
Cain turned to Lukali, who stood in awe of the man in front of him. Cain did not cast a look of pity or disgust, like he had seen for so many years of his life, but instead, his eyes were filled with understanding.
One word came to Lukali's mind as he saw this man, and he swore on that day he would never tell another soul what he had discovered.
'God…he's like a god.'
Words formed in his mind and flew from his lips before he could even think to hold himself back.
"Teach me. Teach me to let go…"
Cain stared on for many minutes, the silence betrayed only by the roaring wind from the mountain's peak.
After what felt like eternity, Cain finally spoke.
"It's going to take some time. But I think we can work with this."
Those were the last words Lukali heard, before his vision turned black, and he awoke to a sun filled sky, a morning rise pouring through his window.
He was back in his bed, and not a thing was touched.
A dream was all he thought to explain himself.
Yet he needed no false excuses.
He knew.
And so did 'he.'
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein