Kapitel 18: The Devil in Me Ch. 18
Chapter Eighteen:
Shay:
My brain hurts.
Even after sleeping, it hurt to think.
I couldn't bring myself to sign it.
I needed more time to think about it.
Even Jody wasn't sure by the time she was done reading.
This sucked. I just wanted to spend time with him.
I didn't like the idea of being watched either. Why did they need to see it? Why couldn't they just monitor vitals like the rings do?
On top of that, there was another condition I wasn't too fond of.
We would have to come in when they called, to test the boundaries of our Devils.
I didn't like the sound of that.
I hated the idea of it, actually.
As if being around us sometimes wasn't hard enough, now you want to throw in that kind of stuff?
Who were the real Devils?
I shook my head at the thought.
I was grateful. That alone surprised me.
To feel thankful despite the shitty treatment.
It was strange to even think it.
Shame also filled me when I thought about it.
I shouldn't think about doing naughty things with him. We just met.
I feel it, though. There was this insane connection.
Maybe it is just a physical response, like pheromones and stuff.
I felt like an idiot for suggesting it.
What if he wanted me to sign the papers?
Clearly, he thought about doing that kind of stuff. His reaction to my nipple piercings was pretty… intense.
I felt the heat in my cheeks every time I thought about it.
Sure I've been felt up before, but that was different.
It was like he felt it when he touched me.
It was a theory I would very much enjoy testing in the future.
If we even had one.
My phone went off, scaring me.
I had to rush to the charger on the stand next to my bed.
"Hello?"
"Shay," my brother Andre said, "I won't be able to make it on time tonight, can you get the boys?"
I frowned.
"Yeah, I can get them."
"Thank you," he said quickly, "Sorry, I have to go."
I could hear someone call his name in the background.
It sounded like his partner.
He hung up the phone before I could say anything to him.
Damn it.
Truth be told, I had been avoiding talking to Eileen.
I checked the time on my phone, and I frowned again.
5:48 PM.
I should leave soon.
It didn't take long for me to get myself ready.
Basic blue jeans, and a dark gray hoodie.
I put on my purple Converse last.
It only took another few seconds to make sure I had everything I needed before I left.
I locked the door behind me as I headed for the daycare.
I knew if I walked quickly, I could make it in less than ten minutes.
The cold breeze tonight made me glad that I wore a hoodie.
The daycare had several cars outside when I walked inside.
Vee stood at the counter. Several parents were in line waiting to pick up their children.
I smiled at her when she looked at me, and she returned it.
I didn't want to wait.
I found myself frowning as I stared at a stack of toys off to the side of the room.
Blocks and shapes that didn't look like they belonged there.
"Shay?"
I turned my head quickly.
I didn't realize that I had spaced out.
Eileen stood there, smiling at me.
There were still a couple parents in line, but she didn't pay any attention to them.
Crap. I knew where this was about to go.
"How are you doing?" she asked, "I haven't seen you in here the last couple of days."
I felt guilty. I couldn't lie to myself about that.
I felt guilty that Noah couldn't here to see his sister.
"I'm doing alright," I said.
It wasn't a lie. I was alright.
That was as far as I got.
"How are you?" I asked.
"I'm good," she said, "And very happy for you. For both of you."
I tried not to flinch at her words.
I didn't want to talk to her about it. I didn't want to tell her it was my fault Noah couldn't come here.
There was also something inside of me that was upset that I didn't know he existed sooner.
We could have had more time.
We will have more time. I had to tell myself that.
"Thank you," I said a little more awkwardly than I intended.
She grinned.
So she knew what she was doing then?
"Come with me to the back?" she asked.
I glanced at the door that she pointed to.
She led the way, and I could hear the parents making disapproving noises.
It wasn't like I was cutting in front of them.
Once the door was shut with us inside, Eileen let out a small squeal.
"I never would have imagined that it would be you," she said.
The way she said it could have been received wrong.
If I didn't know her, I would be insulted.
"Yeah," I said, smiling just a little, "I'm just as surprised as you are."
"I'd imagine more so," she said, "You must have like a million questions."
Well, sure I did.
I also knew that I wasn't supposed to ask her those questions.
She grinned wide at me.
"So you and my brother, huh?" she nodded, "I'm actually happy for him."
Wait, she was?
I didn't know how to respond to that.
"He's always been a little awkward," she said, "Just ask him questions honestly, and he will respond accordingly."
I nodded slowly.
"Eileen," I said.
"What is it?"
"Have you heard of the special program for mates?" I asked.
The look on her face said that she did.
It also said that she wasn't going to talk about it.
"Believe me when I say this," she said, "I would love to talk to you about it, but I can't."
I figured as much.
"Is that something that they are talking to you about?" she asked.
I nodded, "I just don't know much about it."
"You want to know more before you decide to do it?"
I nodded again.
"Did you get a look at any of the paperwork?"
"I did," I said, "But some of it scared me."
She looked surprised that I even admitted that to her.
"Well," she said, "There will be a lot of things that will sound scarier than they are. Especially when it comes to the programs."
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Yes," she said, "I feel like they try to test you."
I suppose that made sense.
To see how badly we wanted to be there.
To see if we wanted to be with a Devil.
"You know," she said as she leaned in closer to me, "They say that some humans feel a pull to their Devil as well."
I made a face.
"Do you feel it too?" she asked.
"Do you have a mate?" I asked before I had the chance to really think about it.
She nodded, "I do."
Why did that surprise me?
"I think I do," I admitted, "But I'm not sure."
"If you think you do," she said, "Then you probably do."
"It's just frustrating," I admitted, "I want more time with him."
"I can understand that," she said, "Being away from them is painful, even for us."
Wait, painful?
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well," she frowned, "It's a little hard to explain, we all experience it differently."
I nodded.
Was this really hurting him? Did it hurt more to be apart from me than it did to be close to me?
I wanted to know.
"I just felt sick," she said, "When Brian and I were apart, I felt sick all the time."
"Sick?" I asked.
"Like I was going to throw up any second."
That sounded horrible, actually.
"Does Noah feel that way?" I asked.
Her eyes met mine quickly.
I felt a little like she was judging me.
"No," she said, "He doesn't feel sick."
"But," I hesitated, "But he does feel something when we're apart?"
She nodded.
"Is it too much if I ask what he feels?" I asked her.
She smiled lightly, but it looked a little sad.
"He hasn't really talked to me much about it," she admitted, "But I do know that he hasn't really been able to sleep."
Was it really that painful?
Suddenly I felt terrible.
"It's nobody's fault," Eileen said, "We're trying to understand it just like you are."
She knew more than I did, though. So her understanding would be better than mine.
I just wish I could talk to him.
I met her eyes again and the best, and probably the worst idea popped into my head.
"Eileen," I said, "Could I ask a favor?"
She narrowed her eyes at me, "What kind of favor?"
Noah:
I didn't think that it was possible to be any more pissed off at the Devil program than I already am.
Baird wouldn't even tell me about it.
All he did was give me this bullshit line about my mate having to decide first.
I mean, of course, I knew that it was up to her.
Did that really mean that he couldn't tell me anything about it?
I frowned.
I wish I didn't have to work tonight.
More than anything, I think I needed a drink.
It would be nice to be a little numb right now.
Unfortunately, I didn't have that luxury.
I was already covering for someone else tonight. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't call out.
A low growl startled me.
Did I just growl?
I got to my feet the second my alarm went off.
It didn't do much to delay the inevitable, right?
If I was lucky, it would be a slow night tonight.
Of course, that was just wishful thinking.
I slid into the first pair of jeans I saw. Dark blue, a little snug.
I pulled a black long-sleeve shirt over my head.
Last, my black Converse shoes.
In a way, it was a good thing.
Going to work got me out of this fucking building.
Once I was ready, I headed to the club.
It usually took about twenty-five minutes to get there when I walked. It was good because sometimes I needed the time to calm myself down.
It snuck up on how quickly I actually made it.
I think I lost track of time while my mind wandered.
The dark maroon brick looked almost black as the sun went down.
I saw Randall first. He stood at the door, assessing who could or couldn't enter the building.
He saw me and looked relieved.
"Hey," I fist-bumped him.
"I thought Caleb was working tonight," he said to me.
"He asked if I could cover," I stated.
I didn't even bother to lie. It was pointless.
"Is he alright?" Randall asked.
I shrugged, "He sounded fine."
Randall looked to the side.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
He smiled, but I could tell it was a forced one.
"I will be once I get some sleep," he said.
I could understand that. I wanted to do the exact same thing. After quite a bit of drinking, that is.
"You don't look so hot," Randall said.
"Thanks, I guess," I said playfully.
"I didn't mean it like that," Randall said quickly.
The look on his face kind of made me feel bad for messing with him.
"It's alright," I said, "I don't feel too hot."
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, "Maybe we can call Miles, see if he can cover for you?"
I shook my head, "I'm already here."
"Still," he said, "You shouldn't push yourself too hard."
His concern only made me feel a little uncomfortable.
I knew Randall was a nice guy and all, but the rumors didn't make me feel good about having his attention on me.
Maybe that was why Caleb called out.
"I'm going to head inside," I said to Randall, "I'll talk to you before you clock out."
He nodded.
I made my way through the crowded dance floor. It was barely six, and there were already this many people here.
I guess I wasn't the only one having a shitty day.
It took a minute, but I was able to get into the back room.
Margery stood there looking pissed off. This wasn't new.
She always looked like that.
I've heard the term resting bitch face before, but I didn't know what it meant until I met her.
"Noah," she said, "I take it Caleb isn't coming in tonight either?"
This was news to me. I only covered this shift.
"Fucking hell," she frowned.
I take it there was something else going on.
I just didn't care enough to ask.
"I have you at the door tomorrow, too," she said, "Will you be able to make it?"
I nodded, "I have no reason not to."
She looked surprised.
What? I never call out.
"Good," she said, looking at the door behind me.
One of the bartenders stood there.
"What is it, Regina?" Margery asked.
She had her phone in her hand.
"It's Caleb," she said, "He wants to talk to you."
Margery took the phone from her.
If I really wanted to, I could listen in on their conversation.
Regina cleared her throat, and it brought my attention to her.
She gestured with her head for me to follow her out.
Did I really care, though?
Shit, I did a little bit.
I glanced back at Margery before following Regina out of the room.
"Did you hear?" she asked as soon as the door shut behind us.
"Hear what?" I asked.
"You're covering for him, and you didn't even ask?" she gasped.
I usually didn't ask.
It was how I got out of telling people my personal shit.
"He got the shit kicked out of him," she said.
This was news to me.
"Okay."
She looked at me, trying to figure out if I was serious or not.
"You really don't care much about gossip, do you?"
I shrugged, "Not really."
She stared at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked.
Was she serious right now?
"A boyfriend?" she asked a little unsure.
My eyebrow arched at her question.
"Fuck," she gasped, "I knew it!"
Hold on a minute…
"What?" I nearly hissed.
"I mean, I totally get it," she said.
You know what, I didn't give enough of a shit if she thought I was gay or not.
The more I thought about it, it would be funny to have Delaney come by.
It would be fun to fuck with them.
"Why are you asking?" I asked her.
Her cheeks burned red.
Why was I not surprised?
I mean, it was news to me. Though I didn't care.
Shay was the only one I cared to think about liking me or not.
"Sorry," I said, "I'm seeing someone right now."
She nodded quickly before going back into the room.
Well, that was annoying.
I went onto my phone and clocked in.
There was no way I was going to let her make me late.
I made my way back outside.
Randall was on his phone texting.
"Hey," he said once he saw me.
"You can clock out now," I said, stopping next to him.
"Uh," he said awkwardly, "Did Caleb say anything to you?"
"About what?" I asked.
His gaze went back to the device in his hands.
"Did he say anything about what happened the other night?"
Did I give off a vibe that invited people to share their personal shit with me today?
"He didn't say anything."
"You know," Randall said, "It was my fault."
I had to shut my eyes when I took a deep breath. I was tired.
The last thing I wanted to do was make other people feel better.
"What makes you think that?" I asked.
Wait, why was I even asking?
"I'm sure you've heard the others talking," he said, "I'm not exactly hiding it."
The fact that he was gay? I'm pretty sure everybody knew that.
"Caleb asked me out," he said, "I guess some asshole heard him do it."
That didn't sound like it was his fault.
"If it happened here, I could have stopped it," he confessed, "But I told Caleb I wasn't ready to date anybody."
"Randall," I said, "Caleb is a grown man, he knew what he was doing."
"But some asshole beat the fuck out of him for being gay."
"You said you weren't there," I stated.
"Because I wasn't," he said, "But, Jenna was."
I had to think who the fuck Jenna was again.
"Who?" I asked.
I couldn't place the name.
"The new bartender," he said like it was obvious, "That girl has been eyeing you hard."
"Alright," I said, "So what happened?"
"Oh," he blushed, "I got off-topic."
I stood there waiting for him to just spit it out.
Man, I didn't like myself like this.
I felt like such an asshole.
"Well, it was this biker looking dude," he said, "I guess he saw him later at that other club a few blocks over."
That's unfortunate.
"Jenna was meeting her friend Deidra for drinks," he said, "She's the bartender there."
I only nodded.
Why did that name sound familiar?
Randall looked at me like he was confused.
"You've met her before, right?" he asked.
"Maybe," I said, "The name sounds familiar."
"Well, if you haven't, then it might be because of Kevin," he stated, "The guy that used to work here."
Kevin was an asshole.
I caught him more than once, slipping his phone under skirts to take pictures.
"What about him?" I asked.
"He got fired for letting underage girls in," Randall stated, "One of them just so happened to be Deidra's little sister and her friend."
I made a face.
"How young are we talking?"
"Just barely consenting age," he said.
It was hard to keep track. I know the age of consent was different depending on where you lived, but I wasn't sure what the age was here.
"Which is?" I asked, "How old again?"
Randall made a face at me, "Are you secretly a pervert?"
I frowned, "I don't know what age you mean."
His eyebrow arched at me.
"Don't give me that look," I said, "I don't know what the consenting age is here."
"Is it true that you don't go out with anybody?" he asked.
Why was he changing the subject?
"Why are you asking?"
"I don't know much about you," he admitted, "And I was curious."
"I don't typically date," I stated, "Now answer my question."
"Eighteen," he said, "We should talk more."
"Isn't your shift over?" I asked.
He glanced around.
"I can hang out for a bit longer," he said, "Keep you company for a little while."
"It's your time," I stated.
He grinned.
He stood behind me and just talked away. I think he stood there talking about random shit for an hour before he asked me another personal question.
"Are you gay?" he asked.
I wanted to sigh. Like a super over-exaggerated one.
Instead, I settled with just looking at him.
"Regina said I might have a chance," he said.
Man, this dude was staring at me hard.
"I already told Regina," I said, "I'm seeing somebody."
"A man or a woman?" he asked.
He really wanted to know, didn't he?
"Randall," I said, "Wouldn't you like to know?"
The look on his face changed. He looked embarrassed, and I almost felt bad about it.
I definitely had to see if Delaney was up for helping me fuck with my coworkers.
"I told Caleb I wasn't really looking to date," Randall said, "But that doesn't mean I don't want to do other things."
My eyes went to him again.
If I was gay, I would probably go for Randall.
He's not a bad looking guy.
Well, that and because if what I am.
"Randall," I said, "I'm sorry."
He held his hands up quickly, "I was just saying."
He wasn't, but I nodded anyway.
"I guess I should head home," Randall said.
"Have a good night," I said.
He nodded quickly before walking away.
Shit. The last thing I needed was more attention on me.
I sighed before seeing a group of girls walk up to the small line.
Can this night be over already?
My phone went off, and I really wasn't sure if I could handle any more crap tonight.
The name I saw surprised me.
From: Eileen – 'Guess who has a surprise for you?'
A surprise?
I felt a flutter in my stomach.
To: Eileen – 'What kind of surprise?'
I wanted to know.
Did it have to do with Shay?
From: Eileen – 'It wouldn't really be a surprise if I told you.'
To: Eileen – 'Then why bring it up at all?'
It had me a little frustrated.
It only proved that it had something to do with Shay.
From: Eileen – 'Come find me when you get off work.'
I felt my heart hammering in my chest.
I wonder what it could possibly be.
Part of me didn't want to wait to find out.
Fuck.
I want to know what it is.
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein