Kapitel 40: Zero.

Zero cuddles up to his wife in bed, holding her in his arms. Knowing this soon will be a distant memory. The thought pains him to even imagine. He knows that soon, she will be in pain and hurt which only brings him more pain. This wasn't something he wanted. He just knew he couldn't tell her, at the same time he wanted her to go on. To be happy. Not pine over him or what they had, the way he felt at least they got to have it. Ten years wasn't a bad time frame either, some never have it at all.

Zero kisses Alexa on her head, holding her close. "Babe I love you very much. You know that right?" Zero asks.

"Yes, I do, I finally do. You make me so happy Zero. The last few years have been the best ever. I couldn't ask for more." I say.

"I am glad, I make you happy. I am sorry for the hurt I did cause you. I hope you don't have any regrets because of it." Zero says.

"No, I don't. I know there were things you had to work out. This wasn't a regular relationship. I knew that from the start. I am just happy, that in the end, you fell in love with me. I do have one regret though."I answer.

I watch as Zero's eyes grow wide.

"What? What is the regret?" Zero asks with a panic?

"We should have had another child together. I would have loved to have been able to have my whole life with you, From the start. I wish my daughters were yours." I respond.

"Oh, that would have been really nice," Zero says with a relief in his voice.

"You know when it's my time to leave this earth, I want you to move on and be happy. I don't want you to cry over me. I want you to live on and be happy. If that means being with another, I understand. Even if that means Ichiu, I know how he feels about you." Zero says.

"Where did that come from?" I ask. Looking at him weirdly.

"It will happen someday, it happens to everyone. I don't want you to stay alone and be miserable. I want you to have everything you ever wanted and more. Just like you wanted for me. I won't be mad if you move on." Zero states.

"I already have that. No one could make me as happy as you. Plus the time that happens we will both be old, I won't need anyone. Who knows I may even go first." I reply.

"I know you love me, Alexa. I am thankful for it, each and every day. I just need you to promise me, that you will move on if it ever happens. Even if you are old if there is someone to make you happy go for it. Don't let the memory of me stop you. I don't want that." Zero responds.

"Ok, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Your my husband and always will be. Its all I ever wanted. I cherish it and the rings you gave me, mean everything to me. I will never take them off, I want to be buried in them, next to you." I answer.

"You may not ever love someone as much, but you can care for someone. No matter what, our marriage is real to both of us. I cherish it also, that will never change. You don't always have to be in love with someone to be happy with them. " Zero comments.

Zero just holds her tight, knowing that she won't get to be buried next to him. It hurts him to think that what she wants more, won't take place. He knows what will take place, this just made him know, she won't like any of it. The way she talked only scared him, that she would rot away without him. He didn't want that. He wanted her and their son to be happy and move on the way it should be. He hoped that Ichiru could give her that if no one else could.

Knowing her regret was having more kids with him, he is glad in a way they didn't. It would only be more people to hurt and leave behind. He just wishes he could give her what she wanted, even though he wouldn't be there to share in it. His mind was everywhere, going over so many things over and over again. This was weighing him down, in a way he would be glad when it was all over. He also thought that everything she ever wanted for him, took place. He hoped that he could do the same for her some way. He just didn't know how. He did know it had to be possible since it was done once.

He kisses her lips and holds her tightly, feeling her firm body next to his. He rubs his hands down her back as he kisses her neck down to her chest. He gets moans in return as her hands start roaming his tone chest. He knows she loves to touch him there, it was one of her favorite spots.

They lay there side by side, as Zero slides deep within her, thrusting their bodies together as they hold each other, giving each other passionate kisses, that they only come up for air to stop. They make love, bring each other to ecstasy. Zero knows how she feels, he feels the same way. No one could ever make him feel this way again. Not even Yuki in their own world. Even with time being set back, he would never forget their life together.

I lay there in Zero's arms, feeling closer to him than ever before. Still wondering what the conversation earlier was really about. I hated that he talked that way. I never wanted to be apart from him, the thought alone hurt me deeply. I knew one day, he would pass as he said, it happens to everyone. I just was hoping, it wasn't for a long time. He was only forty-eight. We have had plenty of time to be together. To watch our son grow up. To share a long and healthy life together.

I thought about what he said, to love someone else. Could I? Would I even want to? I knew I could never feel the way, I felt about him, about anyone else. It was impossible. I still wasn't sure how I felt this way about him. It was scary enough to do this once, little less again. Then he was my one great love. Some never have it, I got lucky. I just had to go to a manga/anime to get mine, not able to get it in real life.