Kapitel 15: Joel

Its been two weeks, everything seems to be going as good as it can. Zero is getting settled at work and with us. My daughters are doing pretty well with him being here. Still a little on the shocked side, Which was to be expected, but my younger one has gotten to like him. Zero has been very calm and easy-going. Making it hard to not like him.

He comes home from work everyday cooking us dinner. We sit down as a family and talk about our day, and eat. Zero spends the night, every night. He is here, more than he is at his own home. He knows I don't want him to leave. I have gotten very used to him being here and it's only been a short time. He seems to enjoy it here, having his family who he sees every day. I see him happy and smiling. He has come along way from the grump, he was at Cross. He still has his moments, don't get me wrong. Zero is Zero, but I do see him happier. Which I am thankful for.

My mind in the last two weeks has gone everywhere. Like is this real? Am I doing the right thing by keeping him here? Will he regret this? Will he miss her? Even though he is starting a new life, he still remembers his old one. Yuki being a big part of that. I don't expect him to just forget her and fall out of love with her. I am, to be honest, shocked he even came here. Sometimes I wonder why he did? Because he really loves me? Or because she left with Kaname and it pissed him off? I guess, either way, I should be thankful. I do love him.

My end is truthful and real. He may be giving up his old life, but so am I. I am giving up everything. I ever knew that was real. Not a manga or anime. It was just everything I built in my lifetime. If this goes south, I have lost a lot and also ruined other people's lives in the process. I am also bringing in another life into this world. Which still amazes me. I never saw any of this coming, but that has knocked me over and over again. It also makes me smile. I would never regret it, it was something I always wanted. A son. Now having it with a man, I adored made it so much more. I just never thought. I would be having any more children. Me and my husband were done. I guess never say never huh?

Its Sunday night, Zero and I are in the kitchen getting dinner ready. I still have moments, I just stare at him. I can't help myself. I will find myself touching his arm, or back, just to make sure he is real, and I'm not dreaming. I think he has noticed but he hasn't said anything to me. There are times, I want to ask if he misses her or his old life. I am just scared to. I am scared of the answer he will give me. He does hold me and put his head on mine like he used to do to her. I see a closeness and I love it. So for now, I'm not asking. I am sure if he wants to return he will let me know.

While we are making dinner, we are also waiting for my daughters to come home from their fathers. He takes them every Friday and drops them off on Sunday. It's been three weeks since I talked to him and filed for divorce. He keeps telling the girls that this isn't real, that I will change my mind. That I am just going through some Midlife changes. He doesn't know about the baby yet, and I am not sure if the girls told him about Zero. Last I knew, he thinks my affair was over. Which now I don't believe its an affair, it's just a new relationship. I know this has to hurt him, we have been together for a long time, Never really having intentions of leaving one another. Not because we love each other, because we are used to each other. We built a life together, a family. We were going to stay in it till the end. Until Zero anyway. He changed that right away. He changed everything in my life as much as I did in his. I just hope this goes well.

As we are getting the table set for dinner, I hear a key in the door, thinking its the girls. I take a look a see Joel rushing in. Straight towards me.

"What the hell is going on? I heard a man is staying here with you? I thought your affair was over?" Joel Shouts.

Zero hearing everything from the kitchen comes out and stands right beside me. Not liking his tone or his movements towards me.

"Joel it doesn't really have anything to do with you anymore. I filed for divorce three weeks ago." I answer.

"So you just go back to him? Let him move into our home with our girls? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Buddy I know you're upset, but you need to settle down. I don't like how you're talking to her." Zero states calmly.

"And you must be him! You have a lot of nerve moving into my home!" Joel shouts.

"I am sorry, I know this must be hard for you. I never meant to hurt you."I respond.

" I just want to know what the hell your thinking? Is this a mid-life crisis? IS he just using you?" Joel states.

"No to none of that. I am in love with him. I am happy. I am just sorry that hurt you at the same time." I reply.

" I Don't want this around my girls. Can you even trust him?" Joel says.

"Joel, Really? First of all, you know I would never do anything to hurt my children. ANd second, Zero is the kindest, sweetest man ever. He would never do anything to hurt them or me. And for him being here, the girls are going to have to get used to him living with them. Because he will be for the long haul." I answer.

"You're going to marry her?" Joel asks.

"Yes, I intend to. I want to have a family with her, and be with her. I will not harm your children. I would appreciate you stepping back from her and treating her with more respect." Zero responds.

Not liking how in my face he is, also not wanting him to hurt me or the baby.

"I can't believe this. I just can't believe it. Not only do you throw me out? Want a divorce, You cheat and make him move in? You even let him talk to me like this! What the fuck else?" Joel asks.

"I am sorry. It just happened. I am sure you can move on and be happy as well. It's not the end of the world." I respond

. "This isn't the woman I married. She would never do this to me. To our family. What does he have? Why him? Why now?" Joel asks.

"He makes me feel like no other ever has. I can't help how I feel about him. Just looking at him makes my world light up." I respond.

"Good Lord, A teen crush and you fuck up a family for it." Joel answers.

"Ok, I Think that's enough. Its time for you to leave." Zero says.

"Oh, that's great he has a badge. If I don't listen you're going to shoot me." Joel says seeing Zeros gun holder and badge.

"No, but I will call the cops on you. If you continue this. You need to settle down. Where are the girls?" Zero asks.

"They are in the car." Joel states.

"Alexa go get them, and bring them for a walk, then their father can get going," Zero says.

Taking control of the situation, trying to calm it down. Seeing that Joel is very upset and pissed. Which really doesn't surprise Zero, he knows how it feels. He has been on the other end watching Yuki with Kaname. Just this was a bit more, he just knew he had to keep things calm to a degree. He knew he stepped into this man's life and took over it. He knew that was hard.

I am shaking and a bit nervous not really expecting to have to deal with that tonight. I go out to get my girls out of the car, I just call Zero telling him, I am going to take them for a walk around the block, while he gets rid of Joel. For the first time ever, I was afraid of Joel. His temper tonight was there more then it ever has in the past. Then in the past, I didn't cheat or ask to move on. I know this was hard for him. I just didn't want trouble. I just wanted to be free, to start a life over. I didn't want my girls to see this. They just knew he came in to talk, they had no idea all that was said. Zero got him to calm down and he drove off.

"You can come home now, He left," Zero says.

"I am so sorry you had to deal with that," I answer.

"It's ok. I am here for you. I Just didn't like how close to you he was getting. I did understand why he was so upset. Are the girls ok?" Zero asks.

"They are fine. They have no clue." I respond.

"Good, take them home, we will sit down for dinner as nothing happened." Zero states.

I go home with the girls and we do just that. Even though I'm not really hungry. I try to act as if everything is ok in front of the girls. Not showing them, anything is wrong. I do take it they told their father Zero moved in. I just don't ask or try to make things worse. I just can't wait for the divorce to be over. I filed online and brought all the papers to the county clerk. It was going to be easy and fast. Just now I am not so sure Joel was going to make it be that. We could be divorced in 90 days. That was as long as he went along with everything and we agreed. Now I wasn't so sure. If he changed and wanted a lawyer, it would take longer, more money and a lot more stress I just hope he would do the right thing and not be petty.