Kapitel 7: Chapter 7
Shinji had done as Misato asked and tagged along to pick Asuka up at the hospital.
The ride in her car was very awkward; he was still angry and hadn't said a word to her in several days, despite her effort to engage him in small talk, and was now intent on keeping his eyes firmly on the window as they descended through one of the car trains that provided vehicle access to and from the Geo-Front and the surface.
The Geo-Front was a massive underground structure. Shinji knew little about it except that it was basically a dome that housed all of NERV's operations underneath the city of Tokyo-3. Central Dogma itself was located on a pyramid-like main building on the center of the huge cavern, surrounded by a forest and an artificial lake. The trains and other cargo elevators spiraled down the sides of the dome, providing easy access to the surface bellow where a bridge connected traffic to Central Dogma's parking areas.
But as incredible as this place was, there was always the reminder that until recently it had been a war zone. And there are always casualties in war.
They parked and wordlessly moved into the structure, taking several elevators to reach the isolated Cranial Nerve Ward, which was reserved only for the worse of injuries. NERV's medical facilities were possibly Shinji's least favorite place in the world. And he had only spent short periods there.
Nothing as long as Asuka.
They found her standing on a hallway inside the ward, a nurse by her side, looking out of a brightly lit window that gave her a view of the gardens. She wore a white gown and slippers.
Despite the months of internment, Asuka was still the exotic beauty Shinji remembered. She was a little thin, and her skin—once a healthy light tan—seemed paler than normal from lack of sunlight.
Her tousled golden-red mane fell unrestrained down her to mid-back and spilled over her shoulders in two long streaks, framing a young, very pretty face that distinctly reflected the German side of her mixed parentage. Her eyes were a brilliant sapphire blue, set above high cheeks that had somehow escaped freckles; her slender teenaged body, and the manner in which she liked to show it off, had often left him unable to help himself.
In the confined space of Misato's apartment, being so intimately close to her, it had been easy to turn her into a sexual object as she lounged around in little more than her underwear—lots of creamy flesh exposed, shorts ridding up occasionally to reveal more than was intended. Even the guilt and disgust that usually came afterward was not much of a deterrent in the heat of the moment.
Indeed, those two emotions seemed to have come to define everything he felt about Asuka, and more than just in a physical sense.
From the moment she introduced herself to their class she'd become a celebrity, and her haughty personality always seemed to enjoy the attention. To Shinji she had seemed bright and happy in a way he could only envy.
She had fooled him completely.
Shinji had been there when the Angel unraveled her mind, and discovered in horror that beneath the Asuka he knew hid a painful tangle of abandoned emotions. Sadly, nobody could go through what she had without changing for the worse. Being alone and forgotten in the hospital couldn't have helped either. His failure to console her, or even offer the slightest bit of comfort, was just as bad.
The sight of her made Shinji heartsick. He wanted so bad to say how sorry he was, despite knowing fully it wouldn't do her any good, but the words stuck in his throat and would not come out. He shouldn't be here, shouldn't be looking at her or try to talk with her like nothing had happened.
As roommates and fellow Eva pilots, they had constantly been at odds with each other—their characters being so different—and yet, Shinji didn't think for a moment Asuka deserved what happened to her. He certainly had never wanted to see her be hurt, and he had not wanted to abandon her, either.
But he had; it had been the easier thing to do.
Thankfully for him, Misato didn't seem to want him to say anything. She placed a hand on his shoulder, indicating that he should wait while she went closer, very cautiously. "Hi, Asuka. How are you feeling?"
The response from the convalescing redhead was short and loaded with bitterness. "What do you want?"
"To bring you home," Misato said in a soft, motherly tone. "Unit-02 needs a pilot."
"Didn't you hear?" Asuka scoffed. "I can't pilot it anymore."
She turned her head to Misato but looked past her, to where Shinji was standing, and fixed him with a sour glare, her eyes bristling with barely-controlled anger. "Besides, why would you need me? You've got the invincible Shinji over there—the Great Third Child! Why would you need a worthless little girl like me?"
"I wouldn't be here if I thought you were worthless," Misato said, sounding like she really meant it.
Asuka rounded on her. "My synch-ratio is zero! ZERO! Don't you understand? I can't pilot Eva anymore!"
"We think there might be a way," Misato explained calmly. "Ritsuko said she was working on something."
"What?" Asuka's brow came up in genuine surprise. "Are you serious?"
Misato gave her a little smile. "I'm not up the details yet, but we're working on it. The main thing is, I want you to come home. This place is not good for you."
Asuka looked away, shoulders sagging, and Shinji thought he could sense something else besides the simmering anger. "Even if it works—if I can pilot again—what makes you think I'd want to go back?" Where there had been only anger and bitterness in her voice before, now she sounded dejected. "I was never happy there."
"It's not so bad," Misato said. "We had new carpets put in. And Pen-Pen is still with Hikari, so the fish smell is gone."
Asuka laughed shortly. Not a real laugh.
"Look, you really don't expect me to believe you want to stay here. I've got everything ready for you—well, everything is pretty much how you left it—and Hikari is positively giddy to see you again. She can't wait to go shopping with you. You belong out there, with your friends and the people who care about you, Asuka, not in here. It's fine if you don't want to feel pitied, but do it for yourself, okay? I—we—" Misato looked at Shinji "—want something better for you."
Asuka scanned every line in Misato's face, as if looking for an excuse, and when she found none, turned her gaze to Shinji. "And what do you have to say about all this?"
Shinji could not hold her gaze and dropped his eyes, feeling shamed. His mind became instantly blank. "Asuka ... I ... I ... "
Asuka made a noise of exasperation. "Ach, still as dimwitted as ever."
"Of course Shinji wants you to come home too." Misato slipped off the backpack she'd been carrying and pressed it into Asuka's arms. "I brought you some clothes. Unless you plan to go around like that. I don't know. Maybe you want to start a trend."
Looking at her again, Asuka hesitated for a moment. Then, her mind apparently made up, she took the offered backpack.
As she went to change, Misato turned to the nurse, asking her to help get the rest of her patient's things. The nurse nodded and followed Asuka down the corridor, leaving Shinji and Misato alone once again. It was only a short wait: minutes later the three of them had climbed onto Misato's car and were headed back to the surface.
Misato and Asuka sat up front; Shinji was in the back, on the driver side. Just once he caught the redhead's blue eyes in the rear view mirror.
After that, for the rest of the trip, all he could do was stare out of the window, feeling uncomfortable, as the scenery passed by in silence. Even Misato was quiet; it was as thought the three of them were completely strangers, having nothing to say to one another despite the long separation.
The Third Child would like to think he was delegated to cook because he was good at it. But in reality he simply started making dinner as soon as they got home and no one made an effort to stop him. It was probably the best—and only—thing he could for Asuka now.
Taking the cooking upon himself would keep Misato from doing it, and would spare Asuka from eating lukewarm microwaved spew on her first night home. Shinji thought she deserved better; their guardian's food ranked almost as high as the hospital's on the list of things nobody would ever want to eat.
As soon as they got home, Shinji began gathering some pots and other assorted utensils he needed while Misato and Asuka went their separate ways; he heard Misato going into her room, emerging later to turn on the TV, having changed into a skimpy top and her favorite pair of cut-off jean shorts.
The water for the rice was just boiling when Asuka slipped into the kitchen, holding a bundle of clean clothes in her hands. Facing the stove, he caught only a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye as she walked around the far end of the table, and into the bathroom.
As the shower started running it was like a signal and he felt his body relaxing, without having become aware that it had tensed.
It wasn't like they ever got along great, but at least they had been able to talk to each other about some things, mostly school and Eva related stuff, and very rarely personal things. Shinji guessed it was only normal if they couldn't do that anymore. Not after everything that had happened.
Sighing dishearteningly, he tried to push those thoughts out of his mind and focus on preparing the food.
His timing was perfect. As soon as Shinji had set down the plates full of rice, meat and vegetables on the low table that was really the only piece of furniture in Misato's living room, Asuka emerged from the bathroom. She was still slightly damp, wearing her usual sleeveless top tucked into high-cut gym bloomers that made her long shapely legs seem even longer—pretty standard housewear for Asuka.
That last observation surprised him a little. He may have gotten used to it over time, but she was still showing a lot of skin.
Sitting around different sides of the table, the three of them began picking at their food with chopsticks. It was a gloomy atmosphere, though such a thing was to be expected. Shinji was thankful that none of them seemed interested in the others despite this being their first meal together in months. It made not saying anything less of a chore.
Misato attempted to break the silence by complemented him on the cooking after a few bites, and seeing that he was not willing to talk, turned her efforts to Asuka while chewing on a mouthful of rice.
"Mm, Asuka," she said. "Ritsuko wanted me to tell you she wants to see you tomorrow. She needs to do a physical to determine your current condition."
"A physical?" Unlike Misato, Asuka had the manners to swallow before replying. She lifted her eyes from her plate, where she'd been pushing a piece of meat around with her chopsticks. "Haven't I been poked and prodded enough already?"
"It'll help to figure out how far to push it during synch testing."
"Aren't you going to activate Unit-02?" Asuka said mournfully.
"Sure." Misato ate another mouthful. "Eventually. Ritsuko says we need to establish your baseline first. For once, I think I agree. It's not a good idea to try to activate your Eva without knowing, well, if you can take it. You've been away for a while. It's bound to take a toll."
"You don't think I can, do you?" Asuka frowned, returning her attention to the food.
"Like I said, I wouldn't have bothered with you if I thought that, would I?" Misato said. "Of course I think you can do it. I've always had faith in you. So does everyone else."
"Then why not activate it?" Asuka replied hotly, frowning as her voice rose. "Otherwise you are just wasting time."
"That's not it." Misato looked concerned. "I'm just looking after you, that's all."
Whether Asuka believed this or not was uncertain. She bit her lower lip to keep from replying.
Misato was getting far too good at doing this, Shinji thought bitterly. At sounding like she truly cared,. She might claim to be looking after them all she wanted, but it was just a self-serving, manipulative act. She had already betrayed him more hurtfully that he had ever thought her capable of, and now she was betraying Asuka as well.
As he silently lifted morsels from his plate to his mouth, Shinji pretended that he wasn't looking at Asuka but sneaked glances at her between bites.
She clearly wanted to pilot Eva and, since she didn't have the same kind of baggage as he did, it might even make her happy. He would like that. Anything to assure him that there was still hope for her.
He was holding up some rice with his chopsticks when Asuka shifted her posture, adjusting her legs more comfortably under her. Without intending to, he caught her eyes in his—for a split second two pairs of blue irises, his pale and hers bright, met before turning away from each other.
Shinji swallowed hard, nervously, almost chocking. For the rest of the meal he did not dare lift his gaze again.
When she was satisfied, Misato leaned back, rubbing her stomach lazily. "That's what I'm talking about. Oh, I've got something for you, Asuka."
The dark-haired Major got up and disappeared into the kitchen, emerging seconds later holding a small box with a piece of paper attached to the top on which a welcome home message was written.
"Here." Misato handed the box to Asuka and sat down next to her, smiling excitedly. "Thought you might like to have these back. You'll need them now that you are a pilot again."
Asuka set down her chopsticks, opened the box, and stared mutely at its contents—her pointy, bright red neural connectors. They were essential equipment in linking the pilot and the Eva into one being, but she had constantly used them as ordinary hair clips, unmistakable symbols of her status for everyone to see.
The redheaded girl managed a strained smile, picking up the connectors and holding them hesitantly in her hands.
Shinji noticed one of her writs was swollen and still needle-marked; she'd only recently been taken off the I.V.
Misato apparently was put-off by Asuka's hesitation, clearly having thought she would be thrilled to have such meaningful items back. "Let me …" she scooted closer, reaching to take the neural connectors and clip them on.
"Don't touch me." Asuka shrunk away.
Without further explanation, she sprang to her feet and headed for her bedroom, disappearing around the corner of the short corridor that led to her and Shinji's rooms.
The strange feeling Shinji had felt when he first saw her in the hospital deepened into a kind of dullness in his chest as he watched her go. He was sorry for her, but was that it? Was it guilt he felt, or everything thrown together and stirred until it was impossible to tell what was what?
This felt different somehow, stronger, and completely beyond his limited comprehension. If only he could tell Asuka maybe they could figure it out and it would stop bothering him. More likely she would scream at him and call him stupid for not knowing what his own feelings were.
Maybe he really was.
Misato noticed the concerned look on his face. "She'll get over it. Just give her time," she said. "It's always hard getting yourself back together after a fall. And the way she fell—It wouldn't be easy for anyone."
Shinji said nothing; he was still staring after Asuka.
"I forgot," Misato added after a short silence. "You're still not talking to me."
Wöchentlicher Energiestatus
-- Power-
Rangliste 
-- Power-
Stein