Kapitel 5: "Are you okay?"

I just fucked my boss.

Nate pulls out of me and pulls the condom off, then tosses it on the floor beside the bed.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

No. "Yes."

"Do you need anything?" He runs his fingers down my cheek, and I again wish that the lights were on, yet I don't because I'm now feeling shy, and I never feel shy. His voice is distant, like he doesn't quite know what to do with me now, and to be honest, I don't know what to do with me either.

"No, thank you."

Oh, God, what did I just do? I just had to have the most mind-blowingly fantastic sex of my life with the one man in the world that I just can't have. When he asked me to join him for a drink here at his place after dinner out with colleagues, I should have said no, but I couldn't. I've wanted to get my hands on him from day one, but our company has a very strict no fraternization policy, and I've had a long-standing policy of my own: no fucking co-workers.

And yet, here I am, blissfully sated, and not just a little ashamed in my sexy boss's bed in his swanky thirty-floor apartment.

Fuck.

"Do you want me to turn the lights on?" Nate asks and starts to move away from me, but I put my hand out, gripping his arm to stop him.

"No, it's fine."

"You don't sound like yourself. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Tired, probably too much wine." Those two glasses that I sipped while drinking in Nate's deliciousness have definitely not affected my head, but it's the only excuse I have. We're acting weird with each other now, and I hate it. I don't know what I expected, I don't know him that well. He's always been professional and polite, and until tonight I had no idea that he found me the least bit attractive.

He's got a very convincing poker face. Nate kisses my forehead and pulls the covers over us, then turns me away from him and curls up behind me.

"Go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

Talk? Talk about what?

I don't answer, I just lie still and wait until his breathing evens out, then wait another ten minutes to make sure he's asleep. I carefully slip out from under his heavy arm – Jeez, he's muscular! Those suits he wears are very deceiving.

I fumble my way to the wall, praying I don't trip and fall on my ass, waking him up and follow it to the doorway.

Turning on the hall light, I gather my clothes quickly and dress, grab my purse from Nate's large, professionally decorated, gorgeous living room, and leave.