Kapitel 87: The Shadow Queen’s Perspective (2)
There was a time in my life when I thought the world revolved around me. That my world as a child was the only thing that existed. This illusion of mine was broken the moment I'd 'woken up'.
I wonder how Simon is doing. Is that introverted child still running around as if the world revolves around him as well? Not that I'm criticising, since such time in life help create wonderful adults.
Those who unlike myself...!!!
In a world where time was no longer a factor we could record or even deduct, the Young Miss of the Swordwick Household went about her 'daily routine'. Whenever she was tired, she would sleep on my lap. Whenever she was bored, she would either talk to me or train her swordsmanship and magic. And whenever any of us was hungry, she'd rip off a piece of her flesh and turn it into a meal...
If our own body clocks were working properly, I'd have pushed her 'food' to the side and stood my ground on not wanting to eat the girl I considered my daughter. However, my body's insatiable hunger only seem the grow each 'round' of her routine. My body wasn't ageing, the world itself showed no changes, and I fell into despair...!
When my eyes regained their focus, I found myself holding onto a unrecognisable bundle of flesh in my hands. My body shuddered as my head turned around to see Sapphire training diligently at the side. Her arms showing signs of healed injuries...
I'm... such a failure of a human being! Argh! I want to die! Why must I exist as a literal leech to her...!
Why! Why! Why!
She doesn't deserve this! My disciple shouldn't be locked up in this place! Why must we stay here!?!
"Anna." A voice called out to me as I felt someone's hand touch my cheek. Once I regained my composure, I turned my head in shame. Unable to even look at the girl who tortured herself for my sake. How many 'days' had Sapphire acted out?
"You're not at fault."
"...I-I'm... eating-"
"Anna, look at my eyes." I followed her words and looked at her, only to see them full of life.
...How can she still have eyes like this? So bright and warm even when the situation deteriorated?
Sure, as a Light Specialist, she could heal her own injuries. However, that didn't change the fact that every injury was painful. At first, she would make a pained look whenever she cut off a lump of her flesh, but after doing her 'routine' an uncountable number of times, she gradually stopped feeling pain altogether. This kind of 'training' was familiar to me, but it was something I'd never subject her to. Only 'Suicide Warriors' were trained like this...!
Tears ran down my eyes as she looked at my bloodied face and wiped them off my cheeks.
"We are going to be rescued anytime now. Have some hope for me. Do it for my sake." I couldn't remember who the child in this situation was anymore as I was coaxed by her softly.
"I-I'm sorry."
"You've been repeating that a lot lately. Why don't you ever go to sleep? There's no danger here."
"I can't." There was no way I'm taking my eyes off her. What if something happen while I'm asleep?
This place is like a jail. The lack of movement in this world distorts my notion of time little by little.
At first, I could figure out a rough estimate by counting numbers, but after screwing up a few times, even my thoughts became tangled as the fatigue was making it impossible to think properly.
"Then talk to me."
"...Young-"
"I've told you to drop the formalities and call me Sapphire now, right? What's the point of a title?"
"Sorry."
"Stop apologising. I really meant it! I'll ignore you if you keep on choosing to defy my orders...!" Her eyes seemed somewhat serious as she spoke to me with an elegance that hadn't changed a bit.
"How can you stay hopeful?" I asked the question that had really been on my mind lately.
What was keeping her heart at peace?
"Because I know we'll be saved eventually."
"How?"
"This world amplifies our bodily urges but doesn't allow us age or even function properly. These circumstances most likely has to do with how we were 'severed' from our time flow as you've said."
"..." As expected of our family's Young Miss, she is even able to think this far ahead in this situation.
"Also..." A hint of embarrassment arose on her face before she whispered seriously into my ear:
"...Father's training has taught me that I can never be unsure of myself unless I'm fine with dying."
A chill ran down my spine as I realised that her past with the Duke truly nurtured her into a 'genius'. It's as my Master had spoken back then, that only the nurturing a child under an intense teaching system can allow someone to grow into a capable person.
She had matured way beyond her years at a young age. Even without our help, I was sure that she could take care of herself. It was to the point that I'd started to feel the uselessness of my existence.
My intuition was telling me that she would've been fine without me. Even if I died and was resurrected back onto the original time flow, Sapphire would still patiently wait while diligently training her swordsmanship without letting down her devotion.
What was the point of me being here?
"Hey." Her voice resounded in my ears again as she head-butted me without a hint of her previous grace. Then ignored my dirty clothes and hugged my weak body that was still tense in alertness.
"Stop daydreaming and listen. Don't look at me with that look. I'm here for you. Every time you show me your pessimism and depression. I will always be here to reassure you. I'll be here for you."
When was the last time I heard such heartfelt words? I've always been on edge, wondering when will be the next time I'll 'die'. After my heart was broken at a young age, nothing could fill the emptiness I hid on a daily basis. Who would protect a Dark Specialist that will always be an outcast in society? Who would say such a thing to one?
"Sapphire." I spoke her name for the first time. My eyes were still teary as I grabbed onto her cheeks to have a clear look on her face. She had 'grown' so much in the time we were here, and I can't believe how much I've regressed compared to her.
"When we get out, I'll take better care of you."
"I know."
"I won't let anyone bully you."
"I know..."
"I'll bring you out of the mansion. We can live together and forget about those 'responsibilities' the Duke threw onto your shoulders. We can just forget about the 'war' and live quite lives."
"...Anna, are you sure you want to do that?" There was surprise in Sapphire's voice as she held my hands. A dazzling smile appeared on her face as she really liked the things I was promising her.
"I'll keep you s-safe..." Strength gradually lost my body as I fell into her arms, causing her to finally look a little panicked. The mana within my body swirled and rotated as my body felt lighter.
"You need to sleep...! Please... just rest your eyes once. This is an order!" She said in a pleading tone.
"Let's... talk a little more." I didn't want to sleep and end up leaving her alone. That isn't what I want.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Do you like Simon?" I asked her straightforwardly.
"Of course!" She nodded her head enthusiastically to the point I knew she had misunderstood me.
"Like what?"
"A friend. Isn't that an obvious question?" She tilted her head innocently as if I was acting weird.
"What would you think of him if he wasn't your friend?" Your answer is too pure for my tastes.
"...I don't really know." She looked like she was falling more and more into confusion by my words.
"Then what about others?"
"Everyone is kind to me."
"But isn't anyone kinder than other people?"
"Martha had been acting nicer than usual after that one time I brought up my desire to meet her son personally." Yeah, and there was good reasons for it. Who wouldn't want their so to be close to you?
The daughter of the Swordwick Household, the only dukedom so powerful that the territory we are in charge of is like an independent nation within the kingdom itself. The dukedom has such autonomy that the Drakeyol Kingdom's fall won't affect it.
The Sword Servants are its leading fighting force of battle butlers and maids, those who commanded the Duke's most diverse army. Even the Duke's trusted 'Sword Shadows' were there to fill in for any holes in the dukedom's many layers of defences.
I wonder, what was my Master doing now? Could he be abandoning us here and continuing on with the 'Blood Annihilation' project? That one where our Young Miss will lead a long war against the Blood Nation using the 'Mana Gems' stored up?
That sounds like my Master. He was a cold-blooded person who knew no love. I'm absolutely sure that he abandoned us here for the sake of revenge. That man wasn't soft enough to abandon the years of planning and preparation for us..
Perhaps he's already forgotten us and is already fighting the war by himself. Cutting down armies of Barbarians by himself and using his Cloudy Blue Sword Eyes to inflict onto his most hated enemies.
Although I wouldn't blame him for doing so, to the point that even the respect I have for his passion and ambition wouldn't wane, as a woman who practically raised this girl over the years with him, I wouldn't ever consider him her father ever again.
My 'cute daughter' doesn't deserve a father who would discard her for the sake of vengeance...!
"What do you want to do after leaving here?"
"...Become a vegetarian and eat a nice meal." She said as if 'meat' now always killed her appetite.
"You're a strong girl."
"I already know that. Hehe~" She covered her mouth while giggling at her own joke.
"Aren't you going to meet Simon?"
"He'll come to meet me!" She had confidence in this statement as if it was only natural for him
"You seem so sure..."
"We're friends. Doesn't that mean we stay together?" I can't believe she's asking me this.
My sight started to darken, but my hearing was still intact. There was enough light see her figure.
"You shouldn't ask people that."
"Isn't it better to have reference from others?"
"From what I know, friendship is a strange thing and isn't the same for every person. Define it however you like." The silhouette of Martha appeared in my mind as my own 'first friend'.
As someone who had never had any kind of 'warm relationships' before in my life, it was her who taught me the joys of being intimate with those I believe to be my 'friends'. Mark and Fredrick only became close after I'd befriended that cheery woman who never stops praising her son. Not that I felt there was anything wrong with hearing her~
It was then my thoughts were cut off-
Suddenly, I felt the world around us tremble.
It was an impossible incident. The time in this severed part of the world was a stable existence that shouldn't ever move. Perhaps we would slowly be erased as our bodies separated further and further from our original time flow, but this static world of 'severed time' should never move. As it wasn't possible for things to 'advance' here.
Even spacial movement still counted as a sign of time existing just like the 'movement' caused by natural forces of nature. Considering this, there should be no logical way for this to happen.
Though no matter how much disbelief arose in my heart, there was no way to deny it had happened.
I could sense a change in the atmosphere as darkness overflowed from the previously still shadows of noon. A strange Mana Signature could be sensed as figure manifested into the air.
My body wanted to jolt up, but my consciousness could no longer hold on. There only thing I heard before I fell unconscious were the reassuring words of a girl who had mastered her sword skills:
"Leave it to me and just rest." I didn't have any other choice but to trust these words of hers.
Please... Don't make regret this...!
AUTORENGEDANKEN 
FlowingWaves
FlowingWaves I sometimes forget the ‘direction’ I’m going to take this Arc for some reason very often. I look at the conclusion I’m aiming for again and again before coming to a realisation that my ‘visualisation’ sucks recently. I’m going to try churning out new chapters and returning to my earlier schedule:
1 Sakura Is Reincarnated a week.
And as many Battlefield Restart chapters as I can a day. This is being written as a challenge to myself...
Fight fight fight! (Battle Roar)